Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves
by Lucy Sienna
Summary: A POV story told from the perspective of Killian Jones and follows him through Neverland, falling in love with Emma, the missing year, and life in Storybooke - not just from the show, but missing moments and events seen through the eyes of everyone's favorite villain turned hero. Formerly titled "Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?" (I never liked that title...)
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This idea has been niggling at me since the finale (and this is my first OUAT fanfic so be kind). It's somewhat based off of a deleted scene in Season 2 where Hook learns that Tamara has "killed" Neal (not really, but we all know what happened…). It's one of the two essential Hook deleted scenes (the other is the jell-o scene, which if you haven't seen, you need to, it's priceless). This is just my take on the inner thoughts of everyone's favorite one-handed captain as he shifts from a villain to hero at the very end of season 2/beginning of season 3. (We all know he backslid into bad habits in the missing year, but he _regretted_ those actions, which means he changed _before_ the curse.) Lines from the show are in **bold** , thoughts are in _italics_.

Are we Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?

Killian kept his face carefully controlled. This deal with Greg and Tamara was _not_ going as planned. All he wanted to do was kill the Crocodile. That's it. They were not terribly interested in that. In fact, he found what they were doing to the Queen a bit…distasteful. It certainly wasn't good form. And then there was Neal. He didn't expect the news of Baelfire's demise to hit him so hard. He still remembered the scrawny little thing they pulled on to the _Jolly Roger_ all those centuries ago…

 _Where the devil are we going?_ Hook thought as they led him through the mines. Not one to stand on ceremony, he asked. The answer was not what he wanted to hear. What sort of blind idiots followed a leader they didn't even know? Then things went from bad to worse. Not only were these two…trained monkeys…following someone blindly, their plan for his revenge would cost him his life. Even as Killian said that he would "Absolutely" be willing to die for his cause, that couldn't be farther from the truth.

The minute he was free, Hook made a bee-line for the surprisingly small domicile of the royals. Facing his own mortality and Bae's death had finally broken through the haze of revenge that clouded his thoughts for so long. Nothing had broken through that since…Emma. And as much as her betrayal hurt, he couldn't find it in him to continue to be mad at her. After Tamara told him that she had killed Bae, he wanted the two monkeys to fail, no matter who he had to work with.

Though he wasn't expecting to be punched the second he opened his mouth, he couldn't exactly blame the Prince. David. _Why does everyone here have two blasted names?_ At least the bloody heroes were willing to work with him, even if the Prince did threaten to shoot him in the face. A still, small part of his brain that hadn't really been vocal in years asked _can you blame him?_

The Prince was quick to challenge him. " **So, tell me, Hook, all this time, it's been about revenge for you. Why is it suddenly so important that you survive? I know what I'm fighting for—my family. What are you fighting for**?"

 _Your daughter._ Hook thought, which surprised him. He thought he was over that. Not just the anger but the attraction. _Apparently not_. _Don't want to tell him that, though. I'll get punched again._ **"Myself. That's plenty of motivation, I can assure you."** _Safer. And true._

Getting the bean wasn't easy, but it was done. And he had it. Not the heroes. Not the bloody monkeys. Him. If it's one thing he's learned over the years it's always keep the rare and valuable objects that everyone wants on your person. Until David had other ideas and took the blasted thing. If that was their only hope of surviving, Hook wanted it in his hands. And the scene at Granny's was _exactly_ why he thought that. Listening to the bloody heroes, talking about "building a future on Regina's blood". She was the bloody Evil Queen! She cursed them _all._ Why were these idiots worrying about her now?

 _Because of the boy._ The still, small voice who was getting a bit louder, said. _Regina's son. Emma's son. Regina was his mother, no matter what she had done._

" **You're all mad. I can live with myself**." Hook deftly kept the bean away from the Prince and Swan.

Emma was desperate, and a little angry. " **Give it back**."

Hook still couldn't believe these idiots. " **If she wants to die for us, I say let her**."

" **We understand each other**." Emma said, stepping close.

 _Oh, we do?_ Hook immediately thought of some flippant responses but she was right. She was an open book to him and on some level, Emma could read him as well.

Emma continued, " **Look out for yourself, and you'll never get hurt, right?** "

 _Pot, meet kettle_. " **Worked quite well for me**."

" **Yeah, until the day that it doesn't. We're gonna do this. It might be stupid, it might be crazy, but we're doing it. So, you can join us and be a part of something, or you can do what you can do best, and be alone.** "

Killian thought back to the last time he was part of something, or even thought about being part of something. But that only brought pain. Liam. Bae. No, it was better if he took care of himself. But the fire in her eyes… " **Quite passionate, Swan.** " He handed her the pouch, but he knew there was more to this than just a clear conscience. "S **o, why are you really doing this?** "

Sadness filled the same eyes that had, moments earlier, blazed with passion. " **The kid just lost his father today**." The sadness made way for fierce determination. " **I'm not letting him lose a mother too**."

Hook was confused. " **His father? Who's Henry's father?** "

" **Neal**."

Neal? No…" **Baelfire?** " Hook asked.

She nodded. " **Yeah.** "


	2. Chapter 2

Are we Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?

The minute he left the diner, the guilt started eating at Hook. He was dooming them all to die. The royals. The pretty wolf girl. Emma. Henry…Bae's son. Milah's grandson. With centuries of experience, Hook quashed that still, small voice. He'd done it enough times. Stealing Ursula's voice. Handing Bae over to _him_. Memories of some of his more distasteful actions as a pirate kept trying to surface, but he dutifully trampled them down. He trampled them down and trampled them down until he looked at the scratched off S and P. And then he couldn't anymore.

 _Bae._

They boy he'd cared about, thought he could change for. And ultimately, betrayed.

Bae who had a son, Henry. An innocent that was so much like his father.

And… _Emma._

 _Emma_ , who was passionate and beautiful and brave and damaged. She bested him, she challenged him. And he was leaving her to die. He was leaving her to die, along with the boy. Along with everyone.

Killian groaned and turned the _Jolly_ around, heading back to Storybrooke. _Bloody conscience._

The heroes met him as he disembarked.

" **Hook**." Emma said, slightly surprised. " **What the hell are you doing here?** "

Killian felt like rolling his eyes. _He_ still couldn't believe he was doing this, why would anyone else? " **Helping**."

The Queen was not happy. " **Well, you're too late**."

Too late? The town was still standing so how could be be late? " **Am I?** "

Emma was clearly trying to get a better read on him and trying to keep hope at bay, at least that's what it seemed to Killian. " **I thought you didn't care about anyone but yourself**." She said, right on the money.

Killian handed Emma the bean. If he was throwing his cards in with anyone, it would be Emma. She was amazing and never seemed to fail. And if her little display of power when Cora was trying to steal her heart was any indication, Swan was the most powerful ally he could have. And during his brief trip, Killian had a startling revelation. He had offered to change for Bae but he had never really shown the boy he was capable of more. That he was more than just Captain Hook, the pirate. It was time to start showing good form more than just when it suited him. He had gotten his vengeance, and then there was…nothing. No satisfaction, no anything. At first, he thought that was because the Crocodile hadn't actually died, but he was beginning to realize that vengeance…it didn't fix anything. He looked at Emma. " **Maybe I just needed reminding that I could**."

" **Enough waiting around, let's go**."

The Evil Queen was impatient but now Hook was very confused. " **Go? Where? I thought we were saving the town.** "

" **We already did**." The Prince filled him in.

Emma continued, " **We need to get Henry. Greg and Tamara took him through a portal.** "

He was finally putting the pieces together. The desperation in Emma's eyes and the impatience of the Queen. Henry was missing. Killian would honor Bae's memory by helping in any way he could. Especially since they wouldn't be in this situation if he hadn't stolen the bloody bean. And he wanted to get that look out of Emma's beautiful eyes. " **Well, I offer my ship and my services to help follow them.** "

" **Well that's great, Hook, but how do we track them**?" Regina asked.

Gold finally spoke. **"Leave that to me. I can get us to where we need to go**."

Killian resisted the urge to roll his eyes and boarded the ship, not wanting to spend a moment more in the company of the Crocodile. Things went from bad to worse when he found out not only would he have the Crocodile as his guest of honor, but he'd be sailing to the last place in all the realms he'd ever want to go: Neverland.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I know this is kind of like a novelization of real scenes, but I just really wanted to get into Killian's head during this time, because this is clearly where he decides to be a good man and starts on the path that ends with him being a hero in season 4 :)

Are we Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?

Neverland was the nastiest, most horrible place imaginable. This was, by far, one of the stupidest things he had ever done, and he'd lived a long, long time and done a fair number of very stupid things. But he wasn't focused on that. Instead it was something Regina said that was weighing on him.

" **Greg Mendell said something funny to me. He said I'm a villain, and that villains don't get happy endings. You believe that?** " She'd asked.

That struck him as something odd but possibly…true. _"_ **I hope not, or we've wasted our lives.** _"_ That thought was even more frightening.

 _Villains don't get happy endings._

 _Villains_ don't _get happy endings._

Killian realized he was a villain. Had been for a while. Maybe not the most evil of villains, since he did still believe in good form, most of the time, but he wasn't a hero by any stretch. Perhaps that was why he just couldn't seem to win. Fate was set against him. It was not a pleasant thought. Nor was it one he particularly wanted to dwell on at the moment.

He noticed Emma had disappeared, probably below decks, and decided to take his mind off the villain problem by talking to her. She could probably use someone to commiserate with about losing Bae, or Neal, and he needed the distraction. He did not expect to see her doing some kind of…lifting thing, complete with the grunts of exertion.

He let the facade of Captain Hook fall back into place, feeling too vulnerable at the moment with his thoughts on fate and villains and happy endings. Emma had stopped her exercise, which also put a stop to the delightful little noises.

" **Oh. Don't stop on my account**." He said, leering just a bit.

Emma refused to be charmed or flustered by him, which was almost… refreshing. " **I wouldn't think of it**."

The people from the land without magic did some strange things. " **What are you doing?** "

" **Getting ready for a fight**." She continued her…preparations.

He needed her confident, not irritated, if they were ever going to pull this off. " **Well, I've never known you to need to get ready for a fight. I thought it was a natural state**." Hook teased, then turned a bit more serious. " **Don't let Rumplestiltskin get you down, love**."

Again, Emma refused to be charmed, and she still refused to let herself trust him. " **What do you want**?"

Emma always had her defenses up. It wasn't surprising, given her history, but it did make for some less-than-friendly conversations. " **To give you something**." Hook explained. " **You know, Baelfire and I once spent a lot of time together**."

" **He was always "Neal" to me**." Emma still pushed away all that was related to the land they all came from. She liked familiar and not magical or emotionally difficult.

Hook wasn't going to fight that one. " **Yeah. Right**." He pulled out Bae's old cutlass and handed it to her (if he was always Neal to her, he could be always Bae to him). " **This was his**."

Emma had caught him. " **I didn't realize you were sentimental**."

The facade of Captain Hook clamped down immediately on anything that would betray his sentimentality. " **I'm not. I just thought you could use it where we're going. You know... To fight**." He grabbed a cup for her. He needed a drink and so did she.

" **Thanks**." Emma said as he poured.

Killian held his flask up. " **To Neal**."

" **To Neal**." Emma echoed and they clinked glass to flask before drinking.


	4. Chapter 4

Are we Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?

 _I hate this place. It's even worse on land._ Hook thought as they trudged through even more jungle. _At least the view is better._ He knew the women were probably bemoaning the lack of proper conveniences (minus Regina, who was surely using magic to maintain her looks) but even run down by the day's drudgery, Emma was gorgeous.

At the moment, Hook was observing and cataloging little things away in his mind for when they were back in Storybrooke. Tendencies, things that irritated her, little nervous tics, that sort of thing. Emma was clearly still adjusting to the whole royal parents thing, as were the Charmings. Or, as he had heard Regina so snarkily dub them, the "un-Charmings".

Regina's snark was a welcome foil to the Charmings' heroic and unfailing optimism. But Emma was the wild card of their little odd crew. She wanted to hope but she didn't have any experience hoping. Emma was trying to keep the faith but waiting for the other shoe to drop. He also noticed that she didn't mind the occasional drink, and adapted quickly to new surroundings, be it at sea or in Neverland. Most importantly, she trusted his experience and judgement, at least as far as Pan was concerned. Emma seemed to see beyond him being just a "pirate", or even just an asset on her mission to save her son. For that alone, Hook was willing to stand with her, even if it meant standing against Pan. It'd been a long time since someone had seen him as anyone other than the notorious Captain Hook.

Around Hook, though, her defenses were up, higher than anyone else. Not because she didn't trust him. No, it was because she _did_. She could not deny that there was something between them. Otherwise she would not walk away from him when the flirting turned even remotely serious. But Emma was not ready, she had only just lost her first love. If anyone could understand that, it was Killian. And Emma knew that, and on some level, it bonded them in a way the others could not understand. Emma knew the Dark One had taken Milah. Just as Tamara had taken Bae from Emma.

Hook continued taking stock in their odd little party. The Evil Queen, who was irritated with them all, but stuck around because she would do anything for Henry. Hook and Regina did not truly _like_ each other, but they understood one another. Both had gone to extraordinary lengths to take their vengeance on those that had wronged them, and both were now questioning those decisions, though neither would _ever_ admit to that.

Mary Margaret - Snow - Lady Charming - Hook hadn't settled on a name for her in his head - was focused and the group cheerleader. He could have done without a lot of the cheerleading but it was fascinating to watch her and Emma. Emma must have inherited some of her lie detector abilities from her Highness, because sometimes Snow White could read him just as easily as Emma could. But there was something different in it. The brunette seemed to look at everything with rose colored glasses and in black and white. Right now, Hook was firmly black to her. She solved the issue of having to work with him by only interacting with him when it was absolutely necessary. Still, there was a spunk and edge to the woman that had clearly been passed down to her daughter.

Then there was David. Hook called him Dave to irritate him, mostly. Hook would _never_ admit it, but David reminded him so much of Liam - brave, _very_ stubborn, and unfailingly good. And like Liam, he was now dying of dreamshade. For the life of him, Hook couldn't figure out _why_ he wouldn't tell his family. If they got close, he was going to figure out a way to get him up to the waterfall. It wasn't that he really liked the prince, it was that he reminded him so much of Liam, that seeing him die would be like watching his brother die all over again. He didn't dare voice that thought to the man himself, however, because David was downright hostile to him. Hook wasn't happy with that, but he knew that David saw the world in black and white as well. Hook was on the black side, so there was nothing he could do to convince the man to get help for the poisoning. He was pretty sure the prince would choose to live, even if he couldn't leave the island. But there was no point in mentioning it now, they weren't close to the waterfall and David wouldn't go for it, he wouldn't take a second away from looking for Henry. Hook respected that but he still thought it was bloody crazy. And not telling the family?

Hook's musings were interrupted when they reached Bae's hideout. Hook remembered the first time he found it…and quickly shook away the memories. It was…difficult looking around the cave with all of them there. Especially Emma. No one there could really understand what the two of them were going through. The drawings brought back painful memories of both Bae and, by extension, Milah. He studiously avoided the "p" and "s" on the wall, and instead turned his focus to Emma.

" **Probably just a way to pass the time and keep occupied**." Hook sighed, this little adventure might be for naught.

Emma focused her attention on him. " **You knew him pretty well, didn't you?** "

Hook nodded, knowing that Emma would understand, she was the only one who _really_ knew about Milah, or about the time he spent with Baelfire. " **We spent some time together. You all right there, Swan?** "

" **I'm fine** " She replied.

 _As bloody fine as I am, I'm sure_. Hook thought, but didn't say anything further. It wasn't the time and Swan didn't seem to like the fact that he could read her so easily. Yet. Besides, he had to focus on saving the Prince now.

They were close enough to the waterfall but Hook was pretty sure the other man wouldn't go for it. But there might be a way…Hook felt in his pocket for the leather strap with "Jones" on it. If the Prince didn't go for it, then he could trick him into going up to the waterfall on the pretense of looking for the sextant. If he told them the sextant could get them home, they might go for it, and he could just claim Pan got to it first or they couldn't find it when they inevitably came back without it. (The sextant was currently in his cabin aboard the _Jolly Roger_ , but what the royals didn't know wouldn't hurt them).


	5. Chapter 5

Are we Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?

Killian sighed and took another swig of his drink as he followed David. Today was _not_ his day for interacting with royals. He had tried to…commiserate with Emma, to let her know she wasn't alone, but she had not appreciated it. Now he was listening to the Prince tell him off for his (somewhat) brooding stares at Emma.

" **What would you like to yell at me about now, Dave**?" Hook asked, resigned.

" **Stay away from my daughter**." David snapped.

Hook sighed " **Well, she can take care of herself. She doesn't need your parenting** ," He said, then added. " **which is a good thing**."

The Prince narrowed his eyes " **What does that mean?** "

" **It means you're gonna die in a day or so anyway**."

David set his shoulders. " **Nothing I can do about that. But if I do die** …"

" **When**." Hook interrupted. Dreamshade was deadly, and fatal unless you were willing to never leave.

" **It'll be in helping my family, and that's something someone like you can't understand**." David continued.

" **What if I told you there's a way to save you?** " Hook ignored the comment, the Prince didn't know him or his past, and instead broached the topic of a cure. He was prepared to put his sextant plan in place if the Prince didn't listen (which, at the moment, seemed likely).

" **I'd say no, because anything that takes us off course of saving Henry is selfish. But of course you would think that was the way to go**." David replied in his holier-than-thou hero way.

That was it. Hook had enough of this mistreat-the-man-who-is-helping-you nonsense. " **Bugger off. What, you think I'm being selfish? I'm risking my life for all of you, every moment I'm here aligned against him**." The royals didn't know, they couldn't know, how much this little trip could cost him. The didn't know Pan like he did.

" **Please. You're not here out of any nobility. You're here for Emma**." David scoffed. " **And let me tell you something else. You're never gonna get her. I'll see to that**."

Hook didn't realize he was so transparent and couldn't help the snarky (partially defensive) reply. " **It's a good thing you're gonna die then**."

At which point, David tried to attack him. But a man nearing the final stages of dreamshade poisoning was no match for anyone. Plus, it was bad form to fight an invalid. After successfully waking up the prince and checking the injury, Killian was a bit surprised to see how far the poisoning had gone.

He was almost sad to tell the Prince the bad news. " **The dreamshade has almost reached your heart. It's hours now. You have to tell your family**." Killian tried one more time to get the man to do the honorable thing.

Stubbornness was most definitely a dominant trait in both the Prince and Emma. David wasn't ready to give up yet. " **No. Not when I can still help them save Henry**."

Hook decided to enact his satchel strap plan. Fortunately, Dave didn't have his wife or daughter's ability to see a lie, or it would have never worked so well. Now he just had to get back to camp, explain the plan, and get moving again before Emma or Snow could figure out he was lying. And despite everything, Hook began to think that maybe, just maybe, the Prince liked him. Or was beginning to. As long as it didn't involve Emma. He was trusting him to get the sextant back to Emma. Which wasn't really there, but the Prince didn't know that.

Killian had forgotten what it felt like to be trusted, to be part of something bigger than himself, to go on a hero's journey. Despite the fact that _everyone_ in their little group had issues with _everyone_ (even if Snow White didn't know about it - she would eventually and he knew she'd take issue with her husband dying or being stuck on the island), he was beginning to feel like he had all those centuries ago, sailing with his brother for what he thought was the good of all. During his early pirating days, he had been more honorable as well. Fighting the evil king and taking what he could.

 _What would it take?_ He wondered. _For Emma - and everyone - to see me like that again?_

Hook shook his head, trying to shake the thought. _It'd take a bloody miracle, mate. A bloody miracle._


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Thanks for sticking with me, y'all. As usual, I own nothing. Enjoy this final jaunt into the head of Killian Jones :)

 **Are we Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

As he and the Prince made their way back to camp, Hook risked a glance at the tattoo on his arm. Milah. After her death, things had spiraled out of control. His anger and quest for vengeance had left him empty, and a shadow of the good man he had been. Not Captain Hook, but Killian Jones. What would happen if he put aside his vengeance and tried to actually…help?

 _But would anyone believe it?_ He thought to himself as they made their way back into camp and began explaining the sextant. Hook was careful not to look at Emma or Mary Margaret as he explained the plan, but turned his full attention to Emma when he spoke of Henry, so she would know he was serious. And maybe, just maybe, start to believe that he was turning over a new leaf.

" **Emma…** " He sighed, reaching instinctively for her with his good hand. " **You were right. We need to get that message to Henry. And every day without hope is a day closer to becoming a lost boy. Your father and I should go**."

He hoped that his honesty in that statement kept any of the women from joining this expedition. It was going to be hard enough with just the Prince. He didn't need Mary Margaret or Emma worrying or Regina's sarcasm, or worse, Regina leaving the Prince to die. The royals were on uncertain terms with the former Evil Queen at best. Fortunately the women quickly agreed and they set off.

The trek wasn't easy, especially with the Prince in his condition, but they made their way to the waterfall. Killian was about to throw down the rope when he felt a presence and then heard a _very_ unwelcome voice behind him.

 _Pan._ Hook felt his stomach drop. This was never good. And as soon as the bloody demon began talking, Hook knew his game. Pan wanted him to betray the heroes, to take Emma and get off the island. While it was tempting, and Emma was certainly beautiful and intriguing and there was something between them - Hook felt the physical pull every time he was around her - it wasn't who he was trying to be. Somehow, that evil creature had figured out the decision Killian had made today, to be more of the good man he used to be, and was now trying to get him firmly off the path. Hook wondered if there was a strategic reason for this or if Pan just really, really enjoyed meddling with others and tormenting everyone on the island. Part of him was tempted - it would be so easy to take his hook and stab the Prince, then take Emma and flee this cursed place.

But Emma would _never_ forgive him. And he knew better than to trust Pan. His games were all about causing someone pain, torturing someone either physically or emotionally, and pushing them to their limits. Killian shrugged off the temptation and followed the Prince up the hill toward Deadman's Peak. He _would not_ give Pan the satisfaction of being the villain the royals believed him to be.

That didn't stop David from pulling his sword on Killian the moment he had an advantage, pressing him towards the dreamshade. Killian would rather die at the sword than be stuck on that bloody island but he figured that maybe, just maybe, he'd earned enough credibility to reason with the Prince. So he came clean and told him everything. And when that didn't work right away he knew the man was weak. He didn't want to (much), but knocking the Prince out seemed to be the safest way to go. Though seeing him lying prone on the ground like that brought back the memories of Liam, on this same peak, in the same position…shaking the thoughts away, Hook got to work. The bloody vine was everywhere, and he hacked away at it, carefully avoiding any of the thorns. It took longer than he would have liked but he managed to get the water and get out unscathed before the hero woke up.

The Prince didn't take too much convincing, perhaps he was feeling his own mortality or he truly just wanted to stay alive so he could have the hope of getting off the island. Either way, he drank the water. Hook could see the Prince trying to work out exactly who he really was, with this somewhat surprising turn of events, and decided to tease him, just a bit. (He was still a pirate, after all).

" **One question... why risk your life for me when there wasn't anything for you in return?** " David asked.

Hook winked at him, knowing the Prince would catch his meaning. " **I didn't do it for you, mate.** "

Which was true. He did it because he felt guilty. The Prince had been right, earlier, when he blamed Killian for them being here in the first place. There was no getting around the fact that _he_ stole the bean. This whole mess was his fault, and he intended to help clean it up. The fact that it would also make the lovely Emma Swan happy was just an...added bonus.

When they got back to camp, David ran straight to his wife and kissed her like he'd just beaten death (which, he had). Hook averted his eyes as best he could, but they were a little ridiculous. He was not prepared for what came next. At first, he thought the Prince was going to tell the women everything. Killian Jones knew women and he knew that telling them the whole truth was going to end up with the Prince in _very_ hot water, and himself in trouble for knowing about it and not saying anything.

Then David started spouting off a story about Lost Boys and Killian had to make sure that he didn't look at Emma. He was even more surprised when the other man called him a hero and asked for his flask. And while the story was a load of malarky, the sentiment was not, and Killian appreciated it greatly. He had to look down when Mary Margaret toasted to him, and smirked at little at Regina's "I don't do rum" _or caring for the Charmings._ Hook added in his head. Then it was Emma's turn. She took a good, long swig from the flask. _Good form, love._ Killian thought. But when she started talking he was wondering if her special power had caught on to David's lie.

" **Did you really save his life?** " She asked and he could tell it was more from surprise than suspicion.

" **That surprise you?** " He turned to look at her.

Emma handed the flask back to him. " **Well, you and David aren't exactly...How do you say it?** " Then she did her best to imitate his accent. " **Mates.** " Her accent was _terrible_ and if it weren't for the seriousness of the situation David had been in (and was still in) Killian would have had a good laugh.

Instead, he merely answered her unspoken question. " **Doesn't mean I'd leave your father to perish on this island**."

" **Thank you**." Emma's thank you was simple, but heartfelt.

Then an idea popped into his head. Killian knew that he was attracted to Emma, she was beautiful and intriguing. He also knew that he wanted her, badly. Perhaps, with her being so grateful, he could push for something a bit more than a mere "thanks'. " **Um… Well, perhaps gratitude is in order now**." He touched his lips gently.

Her small smile told him everything. She wanted him as well. " **Yeah. That's what the "thank you" was for**." But Emma wasn't one to give in easily.

He took a step closer to her and went for a lower blow. " **Is that all your father's life is worth to you?** "

" **Please. You couldn't handle it**." Emma shook her head, the challenge in her voice clear.

" **Perhaps you're the one who couldn't handle it**." Hook responded in a whisper, turning the challenge back to her.

She looked at him for a moment and then grabbed the lapels of his coat, pulling him forward. Their lips met and all the pent up tension that had been building steadily since they met was released in a rush of passion and clashing lips. He felt her hands in his hair and felt a jolt of pure electricity run through him as the kiss moved from just physical passion to something more. When they finally broke, Killian had a hard time finding his voice.

" **That was…** " He breathed, trying to come up with words to describe exactly what had just happened.

" **A onetime thing**." Emma's walls slammed back up as she turned away. " **Don't follow me. Wait five minutes. Go get some firewood or something**."

The walls were up again, but they were nowhere near as high.

" **As you wish**." Killian replied and touched his lips gently.

Emma was far from indifferent to him. In fact, he was beginning to think she felt the same for his as he did for her. And it was more than just a physical attraction or passing thing. Killian finally understood why her betrayal at the beanstalk had hurt so badly, and why he had ultimately let her win at Lake Nostos. He had been falling in love with her.

 _Bloody hell_. Killian thought, letting out a breath and trying to get his heart rate to come back down. _I am in trouble now_.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: I'm continuing this story on to season 3B and possibly further...this is a look inside the head of Killian Jones and my take on what maybe might have happened (at least a little) during the missing year. As always I own nothing. And for reference purposes **bold** words are lines from the show, _italicized_ words are thoughts.

We're rascals and scoundrels, we're villains and knaves

drink up, me hearties, yo ho

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 7**

A while later…

Killian Jones - Captain Hook - thought that losing Milah was the worst he could ever feel. But he was wrong. So very, very wrong. Straightaway after saying goodbye to Milah he began his quest for vengeance. There was closure, and something to immediately give him focus. But this?

This was far worse.

Not an hour ago, he had watched Emma drive away in the yellow vessel, knowing that he would not be able to see her again. That alone was terrible. But that wasn't all. No. Not only would he not see her again but she wouldn't even _remember_ he even exisited.

 _Damn bloody Pan. Damn bloody Regina. Damn bloody curse…_

He wished to every higher power in every realm that _he_ could forget.

But then he didn't want to. He didn't want to forget the look in her eyes when he confessed that he would think about her daily. Or her answering " **good** ". He could see in her eyes all that they might have been. He'd promised to win her heart and he'd barely gotten the chance to try. Hook knew that she and Bae - Neal were done. Emma would always love Neal, to be certain, but she had come to the realization that she was no longer _in_ love with him.

And now…

Hook let out a deep sigh. _Now I'm back to where I started and I've no clue where to go._

David and Snow, he knew, expected him to stay with them. But he couldn't. He couldn't look at Snow White, who's face and mannerisms were so like Emma's, or deal with David's stubbornness and think about how like him his daughter was. He couldn't be around a couple who would perceive just how far he'd fallen for their daughter and how broken he now was. No.

And Bae and Belle were off to find the bloody Dark One. Why would anyone want to bring that nonsense back into the world? He knew Rumplestiltskin was Bae's father, and sure, the Dark One could probably get them where they needed to go, but it was a long shot at best. And Hook was pretty sure that whatever the two would need to do to resurrect the Dark One was a step too far across the line of villainy. This was not just looting and pilfering, this was playing with the darkest of magic. Magic _always_ came with a price and Killian shuddered to think what the price for that would be.

For almost three centuries he had something to live for. Now? Now he had nothing. He didn't even have his ship.

"Regina, love, a question." Hook walked over to the woman, yet again feeling that she, at least, understood what he was going through. The Charmings missed their daughter, but they had each other. Baelfire had Belle and a quest. He and Regina had nothing, and they were completely different from the people they were the last time they were in the Enchanted Forest.

"What do you want?" Regina snapped.

"This curse, what happens to our things? Like, say, a ship?" Hook asked.

"It'll be here somewhere. Just like the rest of your crew is here somewhere." Regina turned to look at him and her voice softened. "My guess is that it's back in the nearest harbor."

Hook just nodded, unable to answer at the moment. Regina usually didn't read people that well, but shared pain seemed to give her insight into what he was feeling.

"It won't…" She sighed, unsure of how to continue. "It won't do any good. The walls between worlds are sealed."

"It's my home." He shrugged, and taking her hand, placed a kiss on the back of it. "Good luck to you, Your Majesty."

"You too." Regina said, then added with her usual bite. "Pirate."

Hook winked at her and made his way back to their hosts to start gathering provisions. He knew the haunted look in Regina's eyes, it was the look of someone who was close to giving up. He made a mental note to himself to warn the royals about it. Regina wouldn't do anything to hurt _them_ , but she might hurt herself.

After a slightly tense goodbye to Snow and the Prince, Hook was on his way. _What did you expect? David sometimes likes you and they both understand you're hurting but they don't really_ know _. They can't understand just how deep your feelings for Emma were. Are._

At least he had a goal. Get his crew together, get the _Jolly Roger_ back and then…

 _Then what?_ Killian asked himself for what seemed like the thousandth time. _I'm a pirate, sure. But I'm not…I'm not the same man who left here with Cora a year ago._ Still, without Swan here, no one really expected him to be anything _but_ a pirate. At least then he could wallow in rum and no one would think twice about it.

Killian spurred his horse on. The life laid out before him - finding his ship and going back to his pirating ways - was not terribly appealing. But at least it was a life. _And maybe_ , a small part of his heart whispered, _maybe with the Jolly Roger I can get back to her_. He knew it was almost impossible. Regina said herself the walls were sealed. But it was the Enchanted Forest and strange and impossible things happened there all the time.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: I'm continuing my journey into the head of Killian Jones during the missing year/season 3B. As always, I own nothing. Enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 8**

Eight months later…

Killian sighed as he polished the armor. His small band had managed to steal quite a bit the last few weeks, after finding each other and perfecting their technique. And they had a rather large shipment rumored to be headed past their trap tomorrow from Midas's kingdom. It was a good thing, too. He was finding it very expensive to keep up his reputation as the insatiable Captain Hook when, in reality, food had not taste, he could barely look at a woman, and he drank only for the oblivion that came when he finally passed out. But he needed everyone to believe he was fine. _He_ needed to believe he was fine. So he continued to buy food, and pay for women, and keep the drink flowing. Smee and the others, simple men that they were, loved it. They had food, drink, a place to sleep, and plenty of entertainment. That was enough for them. It wasn't enough for Killian anymore. In fact, he paid the women double to go away and tell anyone who asked that they had a fine time. The reality that Captain Hook chose to go to bed alone, every night, did _not_ need to be spread abroad. There was a reason to that. Every night, usually after more drinks than he'd care to count, he'd pass out in his room and finally, blessedly, dream.

Hook could control his thoughts during the day, for the most part. But at night, memories and dreams involving Emma filled his every moment.

 _"_ _You'll think it's crazy. I know you will." Emma narrowed her eyes at him._

 _"_ _Well, love, if you don't tell me what 'it' is, how can I think anything of it?" He heard himself ask, reaching for her hand across the booth at Granny's._

 _"_ _Since you don't have your ship…" She started._

 _"_ _Don't remind me." Killian interrupted darkly._

 _"_ _As I was saying. Believe it or not, in between monsters and such, it's actually more work than David and I can manage. It'd have to be part time and I couldn't pay you a whole lot…but how would you feel about being a town deputy?" Emma bit her lip, clearly worried about his response._

 _Killian sat back. "You want me to work with you and your father?"_

 _"_ _Call it our family business." Her eyes sparkled at that. "And in a few months, David will have to temporarily take over as Sheriff so…I kind of need you to say yes."_

 _"_ _I'll do it." He furrowed his brow. "But why would you have to step down for a bit?"_

 _"_ _You've always said that I have a little pirate in me." Emma couldn't help the grin that formed over her lovely face. "Now I literally do."_

 _Killian thought for a moment and then his eyebrows practically disappeared under his hair. "You mean…"_

 _"_ _Killian Jones, you're going to be a father." She said and he pulled her in his arms and kissed her for all he was worth._

The sun starting to peak over the horizon roused Killian from what had been a lovely dream. He could see the child now, a little girl (because he'd always wanted a little girl) with Emma's green eyes and spirit and his unruly black hair. She'd be a little princess and a mess and spoiled. She'd know how to use a sword and sail a ship, she'd learn to control her magic and use it only for good. She would be a product of True Love, after all.

 _Stop this nonsense, you're acting like a foolish girl._ Killian told himself, sitting up and cursing the amount of rum he'd had that night. _She's not yours, she never was, and she never will be._

It was always the same. Every night he'd dream of a future where they were married and living in Storybrooke, or sailing the seas together, or her taking over as Queen with him by her side, their children looking on proudly. Sometimes he dreamed of their kiss in Neverland, the memory of it still setting his blood on fire. Sometimes the dreams were much more intimate. But every night, ever, single, night, he dreamed of her. There were plenty of nightmares too. Nightmares of her driving away, drowning in the sea in Neverland, being stabbed by Pan, shot by Greg and Tamara, having her heart yanked out and crushed in front of him by Rumplestiltskin. Those were the bad nights. Those were the nights, when, after finally managing to wake himself from the horrible terror, he drank and drank until he knew no more.

 _Emma would not want you to live like this._ That still, small voice told him.

 _Emma isn't here. Emma will never be here._ Killian quashed the prick of his conscience. _Go away, I have no need of you anymore._

He could still hear himself telling Snow White that he had " **tried the hero thing, it didn't take** ". Which wasn't entirely true. He liked being a hero, liked having people (by people, he meant _Emma_ ) depend on him, but now…now he had nothing to live for. So why would he do anything other than exactly what he wanted, consequences be damned?

 _Because you're not that man anymore._ His conscience reminded him.

 _I'm Captain bloody Hook._ He thought back at his conscience. _I take what I please from whomever I please whenever I please, and I don't listen to you._

The next night, Hook was sitting in the tavern with his mates, carousing and having, by all appearances, a fine time. His men had kindly bought him a companion for the evening. Killian was glad that his crew cared, and put on a fine show of appreciating the woman as they walked out to catcalls and hoots. The facade of the merry Captain dropped the minute the door was closed as Killian fished a sack of coins out of his coat.

" **I don't... understand. Your men took care of me**." She said, confused.

Killian nodded. The girl seemed sweet, but he couldn't be with anyone else, not when all he thought of was Emma. " **And tomorrow, you shall tell them that you had a grand time**."

Before he could get his flask out, Killian found himself on his back with a knife at his throat and probably a concussion if the blurry vision was any indication.

" **Move, and I'll slit your throat**." A feminine voice said.

 _Just end it now._ Hook thought for a second, then stopped himself. He was not a coward, he would not take a cowards' way out. " **Not a good plan for you. I'm guessing you don't know who I am**."

" **I know exactly who you are, Captain Hook**." She replied.

 _"_ **Well, then, I'm at a disadvantage**." Hook maintained a level voice with just enough edge and just enough nonchalance to keep her from figuring him out.

" **My name's Ariel. And you're gonna pay for what you've done**." Ariel said.

 _Ariel…Ariel…_ Hook wracked his brain. _Ariel helped the Queen and the Dark One get the box thing. Mermaid. Right._

It didn't take much for the Hook to get the upper hand on the mermaid. He never intended to kill her but he never expected to hear what she was going to see.

" **Go ahead... kill me. But I still know you're lying. One of Eric's men escaped, so I know the ship that took him was yours... the** ** _Jolly Roger_** **.** " Ariel practically spat.

Hook couldn't believe what he was hearing. His ship. His ship! " **The** ** _Jolly Roger_** **?** " He worked hard to control his breathing and the many things he was feeling. " **Are you certain? Answer me!** "

It finally dawned on Ariel that Hook had nothing to do with kidnapping her Prince, but Hook didn't care about that. He wanted to know everything he could about his ship. Her whereabouts, who was on her, what had happened.

 _If I could just get my ship back, then I won't be…wishing for something I can never have_. Hook thought. _But on to more pressing matters_. _Who the bloody hell has her?_ " **What else do you know about who's captaining my ship? Did that man tell you anything else?!** "

" **Only that he was able to escape with a weapon that he stole from the armory... the dagger that's against my throat.** " Ariel reported and one look at the dagger told Hook everything he needed to know.

 _Blackbeard._


	9. Chapter 9

AN: I'm continuing my journey into the head of Killian Jones during the missing year/season 3B. Words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, as always, I own nothing. Enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 9**

The men didn't question Hook's presence when he made his way back into the tavern, shouting " **Rise and shine, you bilge rats!** " Then he turned to Smee, realizing his rather poor word choice. " **No offense, Mr. Smee**."

The rotund little man was, fortunately, not slighted. For Smee, being turned into a rat had apparently not been terribly traumatic. " **None taken. I keep dreaming of cheese**. **What is it**?"

Hook sat and explained it all to Smee and the smattering of crew he had. At first the thought of facing Blackbeard was frightening, at least for the others. This was the only thing Hook was living for at the moment, so if he failed…it would finally be over. And if he succeeded, having his ship back would help him get himself back. He didn't have to be this sad shell of a man who couldn't get over a woman. A woman he'd never even had to begin with _._

 _You will need your ship if the walls ever come down. Then you can sail your ship through a portal. Maybe if you help this Ariel, she can open one for you._ Hook thought as he explained.

Smee was not convinced. " **Let's not be hasty. We've been having fun robbing carriages. Getting rich from it, too. M... m... maybe we should forget about the Jolly Roger. You said it yourself. We don't need a ship to be…** "

Hook couldn't let him go on. " **She's not just a ship.** "

 _She's all I have left._

" **I'm fairly certain she is**." Smee insisted.

" **She's more than that. I haven't been myself since we've returned**." Hook said, and the still, small voice in his head said _because Emma is gone._ But Hook ignored the voice and continued, " **I should have realized the reason why. It's because I don't have her**." and the still, small voice in his head added, _That's not the her you're looking for._

" **"** **Her"? You talk about the vessel as though she's a woman.** " Smee said, hitting very near the truth of the matter.

 _I will not be ruled by this._ Hook thought, and threw himself into his new path. " **Women come and go, Mr. Smee, but a pirate's life... it's forever.** "

As Smee continued to try and talk him out of his plan, Hook remembered the words he said to Rumplestiltskin before he became the Dark One. _A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets_.

 _Are you sure the Jolly is what you want? Truly?_ The little voice in his head asked.

" **Don't be a coward!** " Hook did not like cowardice, and nothing was going to stop him from getting his ship back. He had nothing else. " **I know where he moors his vessels. It's less than a day's trek. And then I'll have my ship again**."

" **And I will have my prince.** " Ariel chimed in.

Hook was not expecting the blasted mermaid to still be around. Hadn't she had enough when he had her at knife point? " **Few people have held a dagger to my throat and lived to tell the tale. I'd leave before I change my mind.** "

" **No. I've crossed paths with enough pirates to know your code. Any valuable information a pirate captain ascertains shall be compensated in equal favor**." Ariel was not backing down.

 _Amazing that the one person I run into that knows about my ship is a bloody mermaid. Of course she knows all about pirates. And our code. Which is more like guidelines. But it would be bad form not to help her, she did help me._

 _Bad form? Since when do you worry about Bad Form, Captain?_ The still, small voice of his conscience was getting snarky - and starting to sound more like Emma Swan.

 _I've always believed in good form._ He thought, then realized. _I'm having a conversation with myself. Like a bloody mad man. At least no one else can hear it…_

Pushing his thoughts aside, he reluctantly agreed to take Ariel along and began to lay out his plan.

After a few hours of travel, Killian was at his patience limit with the little mermaid.

 _And here I thought it was rough trudging through Neverland with a Prince, a Princess, a Queen, and a…let's face it, Emma was not the outdoorsy type…But one born to swim in the sea was ten times worse than the four of them put together. And this time, we don't have to worry about deadly vines or danger around every corner._

Then, because things in life could apparently _always_ get worse, he accidentally ripped her cloak.

Hook rolled his eyes. " **It's a _cloak_.** "

Ariel was indignant. " **It's Eric's cloak. And he's had it since before we met. He left it with me while he was away to keep him close, and now you have ruined it!** "

 _You've clearly led a privileged life, little mermaid._ Hook thought. _If walking a bit and a slight tear in a cloak constitutes this much of an outburst. Or perhaps no one has ever pointed out how ridiculous you sound. "_ **If mending a cloak is our biggest obstacle, we're in fine shape**."

 _Ah, sarcasm worthy of Emma Swan._

Hook didn't want her to get her hopes up. He was intimately familiar with the pain of knowing a loved one was gone. And hope was the cruelest thing in cases like this. " **You realize you might not find him... or survive**?"

" **I will**." Ariel said with determination.

 _Bloody hero types. I bet she's just like the damn royals._ _Probably wont be able to reason with the sea-lass but it's good form to at least try._ " **Didn't you see the fear Blackbeard's name struck into my crew? You don't become a pirate captain through mercy. If I were you, I would prepare myself for the worst**."

Ariel was taken aback. " **Why? What are you saying... that you would kill Eric if you had him?** "

" **You don't believe that?** " He asked.

" **Well, honestly, I was a little surprised to hear that you might be responsible for Eric's kidnapping... after the stories that I've heard**." Ariel answered.

 _Stories? There better not be any bloody stories about me unless they're talking about my prowess as a ruthless pirate._ Hook had to know what was being said. " **What stories**?"

" **Well, the ones of you helping reunite Snow White and her family in Neverland. Some people say that you're a hero**." Ariel said, as if the whole journey in Neverland had been as simple as that.

 _I tried the hero thing. It didn't take._

 _And I don't want to think about bloody Neverland or Snow White or her Prince or their beautiful, passionate daughter._

" **Don't believe every story you hear**." Hook practically growled, he needed to maintain his reputation. He needed desperately to become the man he was before returning to Neverland, before Emma. He needed, more than anything, to keep everyone else from discovering how empty he was inside.

Like a typical hero, Ariel started in with what Regina had so accurately dubbed "the hope speech".

 _The Evil Queen's biting humor is useful in explaining the annoying things in life. It almost makes me miss her. Almost._

Ariel continued her hope speech, but Hook couldn't listen. He _had_ to go back to being Captain Hook, Scourge of the Seven Seas. He had nothing else. " **You may have changed. I haven't. I'm a pirate, and I always will be**."


	10. Chapter 10

AN: I'm continuing my journey into the head of Killian Jones during the missing year/season 3B. Words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, as always, I own nothing. Enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 10**

Moving along, it didn't take much time to reach the dock where the _Jolly Roger_ sat. Hook's heart soared to see his beloved ship again.

" **Up close, she's even more beautiful than I remember. Don't worry, my dear. You'll soon be back in my loving arms**." Hook said.

Ariel regarded him curiously. " **You do realize you're talking to a boat**?"

" **You have your love. I have mine**." Hook replied. _It's the only love I have left. All that remains of Milah and Liam is on that ship. And if I can't have Emma, I will bloody well have the Jolly and my memories._

Hook decided on a course of action and took it. After all, he stood to gain quite a bit and if he lost? Well, then he lost. " **Stand at attention, mates! Now boarding the ship... the rightful captain of the Jolly Roger. Now, if the coward who tried stealing her from me would kindly show his face, I'll give him the punishment he deserves**."

Hook was pretty sure Emma would make fun of him for _hours_ over that little speech, but he was _Captain Hook_ and he had a reputation to protect.

It was refreshing to fight with someone verbally and with the sword after so many months of facing no one more challenging than a few cowardly knights and drunk pirates. Blackbeard was good. Very good. On both counts. But he didn't know the _Jolly_ like Hook did. No, there wasn't a soul alive that knew the ship as well as he did. And good thing too, because Blackbeard was moving toward just the right spot…and then Hook had him. He had the blasted pirate at his mercy.

" **Finish it**!" Blackbeard bellowed, and Hook admired the man's courage.

He couldn't resist replying, " **Fancy a shave, do we? Well, I'll be happy to oblige**."

" **Wait!** "

 _Blasted mermaid! What now?_

Ariel continued. " **Eric's not on board. You have to get him to tell you where he is**."

 _Is that all? With pleasure._ Hook pressed the sword a bit. " **You heard the lady. Where is he?** "

Blackbeard actually laughed. " **So, that's what this was... a rescue mission for some wench? Ha! They were right about you, Hook. You have gone soft**."

Hook ignored the man and continued. " **I can either make this painful... or quite painful. Now answer**!"

That threat would have worked on any man short of Blackbeard…and maybe David, who was certainly brave. And stubborn. If it had been an ordinary pirate, or an upstart member of some crew, or some soldier in a king's army, he would have his answers without a thought. But Hook hadn't lied when he told Ariel earlier that you don't become a Pirate captain by being merciful. You got there by being brave, calculating, devious, and a mercenary.

Blackbeard was calculating now. " **I have him stashed safe and sound on a deserted island. Only I know where. I was planning to ransom him when the time was right**."

Hook didn't like the way this was going when Ariel's offer to pay was essentially ignored. So when he heard Blackbeard's price, it wasn't a total surprise.

" **The satisfaction of proving Captain Hook is no longer a pirate**." Blackbeard said.

Hook's verbal response was suitably dubious, but his head was spinning.

 _He's right. You're not the same man anymore, no matter how hard you try._ The still, small voice was back.

 _I am a pirate. That hasn't changed._

 _No. You told Pan that Emma was starting to see you as more than a pirate. And she was. You are more than this, Killian Jones._

Blackbeard began to lay out his terms. " **By giving you a choice. Surrender the** ** _Jolly Roger_** **to me, and I'll tell you where I'm holding her prince. Or refuse, and he dies along with me**."

 _Never!_ Killian thought. _I can't. She's all I've got._

 _But you did tell Ariel you would help her. It's bad form to go back on your word._ _You beat Blackbeard once, you can do it again. And she'll help you._

 _No she won't. Because it's not happening._

 _You're better than this._

 _No, I'm not. Now, for the last time, go away!_ Killian was getting tired of this voice in his head that kept trying to keep him on the straight path. _There's no Emma so there's no point in being a hero. Give it up._

"Smee." Fortunately, his crew knew what to do. In no time, Smee had the little mermaid under control, and Blackbeard was making his way down the plank.

" **You can't do this. We had an agreement. You promised me that you would help find Eric. Please. I know that you are a good man, and I know that man Is still in there somewhere. It's not too late to do the right thing. Isn't true love more important than a few planks of wood and a sail?** " Ariel was sounding too much like his conscience for his liking.

 _And what could she know about my love? Love has brought me nothing but pain._ " **She might just be a few planks and a sail, but she's mine. She's all I need**." Hook said. _You hear that, conscience? I don't need anything else but the Jolly!_ " **Love brings nothing but wasted years and endless torment. I'm doing you a favor**."

Adding a little slice to draw in the predators, Hook forced Blackbeard off the ship and demanded loyalty from the crew, which he readily received. Pirates are mostly loyal to living Captains, and have no compunctions of changing loyalties when their old one dies.

 _Now to get the mermaid off my ship._ " **You may release her, Mr. Smee**."

Ariel was glaring daggers at him, and the disappointment in her eyes made him feel terrible - he hadn't felt this guilty since stealing the bean. " **I was wrong about you, Captain.** " The venom in her voice was evident. " **You're selfish, and you're heartless. And that is what will bring you wasted years and endless torment. I feel sorry for you. You'll never be happy.** "

Again, Ariel sounded too much like his bloody conscience. And then she was climbing on to the plank. " **Where do you think you're going**?" Hook asked, confused. He was reeling from the realization that he was…unhappy with his own misconduct, which was putting a damper on his joy at having his ship back.

" **Eric's still out there, and whatever it takes, I will find him.** " Ariel replied and jumped in.

It reminded Hook of the saying he had lived by for so long: _A man (or, apparently, mermaid) unwilling to fight for what they want, deserves what they get._

 _And what do you deserve, mate?_

Hook touched the etching near the wheel gently. _I deserve what I get. I really am nothing but a pirate_. Shaking off his melancholy, he grinned at his new crew.

"Celebrate tonight, mates. Tomorrow, we set sail!" He shouted, and the pirates cheered.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: I'm continuing my journey into the head of Killian Jones during the missing year/season 3B. From here, it gets a little...weird/magical, but hey, it's OUAT. Also, here's a few friendly reminders: words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, as always, I own nothing. Enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 11**

It took some convincing, but Smee finally left with the rest of the men to celebrate while Hook made his "preparations". In truth, there were none to be made, save a minor navigational issue, which took him all of half an hour. He just wanted to be with his ship and savor her alone.

 _Don't worry, I know you're more than just a few planks of wood and a sail._ He thought as he walked the length of the ship. _And you're back with me, darling, all is well_.

"You realize you're talking to a ship, right?" A hauntingly familiar voice asked.

Hook turned to see Emma - or some apparition of Emma - standing on the deck of the ship in a simple white gown.

"You're…" He couldn't find words. The wasn't real, it couldn't be.

"You're right, I'm not real. I'm just a figment of your imagination. I'm your own personal Jimmy Cricket." Emma-that-wasn't-Emma smiled. "And you're not crazy, just conflicted."

 _How…?_ Hook shook his head. "What are you doing here?"

"Did you not hear the whole Cricket-conflicted thing?" She looked at him. "I'm your conscience, Killian Jones. Or an imaginary manifestation of it, anyway." His conscience looked herself over. "Nice. Very…innocent."

"So you're appearing to me because I'm conflicted?" Hook tried to maintain his cool, unflappable demeanor but this was a little crazy, even for a pirate. "And you're appearing as Emma because…"

"You keep using her as a sort of moral compass." His conscience shrugged. "And you don't really have that many people you can imagine so clearly."

"So what do I call you?" He asked.

"What do I call _you_?" The conscience countered.

The reply of "Hook" was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't quite say it.

"There's your issue, buddy." It was amazing how much the manifestation of his conscience not only looked like Emma, but sounded like her as well.

"I…" He began. But it was useless. "I'm Killian Jones."

"Exactly. You're not Captain Hook, the Scourge of the Seven Seas, you're a _good_ man with a good heart who should be going about the business of being a hero." The conscience said.

"I am Captain Hook." Killian retorted. "And I'm no hero."

The apparition rolled her eyes. "You were. And you could be again. You've gotta do something, because that little stunt with Blackbeard? That's going to haunt you. You're already feeling guilty. Tell me, two years ago, would you have the slightest feeling of guilt?"

"No."

"You feel guilty because you know when you are doing wrong. And no matter how many times you tell me to go away, I don't. Because you really don't actually want me to go away. I think you know, too, that this ship is not going to fill the void in your heart."

Killian tensed. "But Emma doesn't even know who I am - who _she is_ \- anymore, and I have no way of getting to her."

"Do you truly think that Snow White and Prince Charming will not find a way? Do you not think Bea and Regina will try everything in their power and then some to get back to Henry?" The conscience challenged. "And you're grand plan is to sulk in a tavern for the next few decades or so, not even hoping for the chance to see her again."

"False hope is worse than no hope at all." Killian shrugged.

" **Look out for yourself and you'll never get hurt**."

Hearing those words in her voice again made Killian's heart break all over again. He had made the wrong choice that day too. And if he hadn't stolen the bean, then Henry might not have been kidnapped, and Pan wouldn't have made it to Storybrooke and enacted the curse, and he wouldn't be separated from Emma.

"Don't look back. The past is a country you can never visit again." Emma-not-Emma said. "Besides, if you keep going down that train of thought, you can keep spiraling back until you get to the point where you blame Emma for leaving you on the beanstalk. Or even further, wishing that Snow White hadn't made Regina so mad she cursed an entire land. But what chance would a pirate have had with a Princess?"

"I get the point." He held up a hand. "You claim I'm conflicted. How do I right myself so you disappear?"

"Ah, yes. This - seeing her - would be difficult for you." She - it smiled. "We know what we are, but know not what we may be*"

 _Bloody Shakespeare._ Killian thought.

"You're the one who read _Hamlet_." The conscience shrugged. "And you loved it. When was the last time, before Storybrooke, that you read, just for fun?"

"Why do you ask when you know the answer?" He countered.

"Because you need to talk to _someone_ and since there is no one within a few days ride that even remotely understands you, you have to talk to yourself. Or me. Which is talking to yourself." The conscience explained. "Just…try it."

"Fine. I hadn't read, in a long time. I did rather enjoy it. Especially the ones about Henry. Or, many men named Henry." Killian crossed his arms. "What good does that do?"

"And did you plan on going back to the library to get more books?"

"Aye."

His conscience with the face of Emma (he couldn't call it Emma, because it _wasn't her_ ) rolled its eyes. "Killian, you made a plan that in no way forwarded your revenge on Rumplestiltskin or harmed another person. You did it purely because you enjoyed it. When was the last time you simply enjoyed something?"

Memories flashed unbidden into his mind. Emma looking jealous of him and Tink, Emma sailing home on the _Jolly Roger_ , being welcomed in Storybrooke as a semi-hero, Emma kissing him…

"What if I did?"

"Well, if you exist solely to kill the Dark One, yet you found enjoyment elsewhere, you've failed miserably at your self-appointed reason for being." not-Emma shrugged. "Think about it. What did you feel? After you stabbed him? Or shot Belle?"

Rarely a man without words, he couldn't find any to answer the question. No, it wasn't that Killian _couldn't_ answer the question it was that he didn't _want_ to answer the question. If he did, the persona, the bubble of a false life he had created would shatter and there would be no picking up the pieces this time.

"Come on." not-Emma goaded him. "What are you afraid of?"

"I am not afraid." Killian bit out.

"Then answer the question." The green eyes of his conscience bored into him, much like Emma's had when she was checking him for a lie.

"I felt nothing." He whispered, the pain and anguish clear in his voice. "Are you satisfied?"

"Yes." The conscience murmured. "Now, answer the question. What do I call you?"

 _We know what we are, but know not what we may be._ * Killian thought. _I know who was I was. I was a villain._ Words from an old pirate song sprang to his head. _We're rascals and scoundrels, we're villains and knaves, drink up me hearties, yo ho_ …But that wasn't the case now. _Who am I now?_

"Who do you want to be?" not-Emma asked softly.

"Both. I am still a pirate, and I always will be. But perhaps…I can be a more noble pirate." He replied. "More Killian Jones than Captain Hook."

"You cannot walk the line between good and evil. Not for long."

"I need to try. I can't…I'm not a hero."

"Nor are you a villain." his conscience pointed out, but she was fighting a smile.

"Perhaps I'll settle for scoundrel and dashing rapscallion." Killian smiled, and for the first time since leaving Storybrooke, the smile was genuine.

"Then I will leave you to it." not-Emma said.

"I am no longer conflicted, then?" He asked.

"What do you think?" She - it - grinned and vanished in a cloud of white smoke.

Killian walked the length of his ship again. Yes, she was just planks and sails, she was not more important than another person, he had made a mistake and he would have to live with it. But now he knew who he was. He was still a pirate, but the ruthless Captain Hook was no more.

"I'm done with you, Crocodile. If Bae brings you back, you're safe from me." He whispered to the night air, breathing deeply and feeling freer than he had in centuries.

He would continue to be Captain Hook, but in name only. They would rob King George and all those who could afford to lose some. They would show mercy and not kill needlessly. They would lavish their attentions on poor port towns, spreading the wealth while still being pirates. And he knew just where to start. A rumor of a jewel on an island off of the coast of the Enchanted Forest. He wouldn't have to kill anyone and the jewel was a prize worth chasing.

 _Much like another jewel that was very much worth chasing._ Killian sighed. He would not try to escape his thoughts of Emma. It was all he had left, aside from a small hope that he might, perhaps, see her again. So he would stop trying to fight it and would stop drinking himself into oblivion to banish Emma from his thoughts.

 _Good for you, Pirate._ The still, small voice that was, thankfully, only in his head, said.

Killian just rolled his eyes. Apparently there was no way to silence your conscience once you decided to listen to it.

* * *

* _Hamlet_ , Act 4 Scene 5


	12. Chapter 12

AN: please continue enjoying this jaunt into the head of Killian Jones from Season 3B and on. Words in strongbold/strong are lines from the show and words in emitalics/em are thoughts/dreams. Enjoy :)

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**  
 **Chapter 12**

The quest for the Jewel of Sheeba was successful. His crew, even now, were taking turns guarding it and admiring it and celebrating. He should be happy. It was a very valuable piece, he hadn't hurt anyone to get it, and he could find a dozen or so buyers now that he was (slightly) more trusted by royalty.

 _I am not unhappy. Progress, I guess._ Killian thought. _And I am proud, the men acquitted themselves famously. I should be celebrating with them instead of sulking here._

Truthfully, it was hard to sulk overmuch. The day was beautiful, the hold was full, and if this was the rest of his life, Killian could manage to survive it. But Emma had shown him that life was not just about surviving, you had to live it to make it worthwhile. He knew now that he would never be fully happy, he had accepted that. Killian had learned a thing or two from Snow White: _love is part of happiness,_ and _happiness starts with hope._ He didn't have much hope, and if he was being honest, he didn't truly deserve happiness.

 _You are being too hard on yourself._ His conscience said.

 _As my conscience, you cannot deny that I have done some truly terrible things in my life._ Killian thought, then wondered aloud "I'm talking to meself. When did that become normal?"

His introspective reverie was shattered by the arrival of a bird on the wheel of the ship.

"What is this?" Killian asked, taking the note and small vial off the bird's foot. It appeared to be a piece of fabric with a hastily scrawled message.

"New curse is coming. Everyone in danger. Go to New York and bring Emma home. Storybrooke needs the savior. The memory potion is for her. Keep out of the curse." Killian read, and couldn't help the smile spreading across his face.

 _Emma. I'm coming._

Ditching his crew had been easy. He paid them well for the jewel heist and sent them off to celebrate. He knew the direction the bird came from, and reason stated that the curse would be coming from the Enchanted Forest. He pointed the _Jolly Roger_ in the opposite direction and sailed off. Barely a day into his journey, he spied the tell-tale curling smoke of a curse. He sped the _Jolly_ along as fast as she could go. He threw anything overboard that had any weight. It was almost a year ago to the day that he'd watched Emma's yellow driving machine roll away while the curse clouds rolled in.

 _You will not get me this time._ Killian thought and continued to do his best to increase his speed.

Finally, the curse grew so close that he feared for a moment he would be swept up in it. But just as it came dangerously close to the still-moving ship, the clouds stopped, and curled back in on themselves.

 _Now to find a bean._

There were a few places outside the curse's reach. One of them had to have something to get him to the Land Without Magic. There had been rumors of an old magic woman near the Seven Isles that had all sorts of magical odds and ends. With the jewel of Sheeba, Killian reckoned he could easily get a bean from her and be in New York in two days. He had the compass tucked away safely in his cabin, all he needed were the beans.

The old woman lived on an island called Midsea. Not a terribly creative nor accurate name, it had a small port and was used as a stopping point for travelers on long journeys. Killian docked the Jolly Roger and set off to find the old magic woman.

"Madam Dee?" He asked, walking into a small shop. "They say you can get magical items?"

"I can indeed." Dee nodded, she was a slight little woman, probably in her late 80s, but she had a spring in her step and a fire in her eyes that told Killian not to tangle with this woman. "What do you seek?"

"A magic bean." Killian said.

"Those are rare and valuable indeed." Dee cocked her head to the side. "If you wanted to return to the Land without Magic, why didn't you just go with the curse?"

"I didn't know that's where they were going and I need my memories to save the savior." Killian responded, then looked curious. Why had he told her all of that?"

"You tell me that because I can read people, and many people can sense that, so they tell me everything." Dee shrugged. "Do you want the bean?"

"Yes." He nodded. "I'm willing to pay handsomely."

"I do not have any." Dee said and Killian felt his heart drop to his stomach.

"I do not have any but I can send you to one who does. For a price."

"Name it."

Madame Dee smiled. "That jewel in your possession will do."

"I was saving that to trade for the bean. I have other jewels." Killian bartered.

"I will not tell you where to go for less than the Jewel of Sheeba." Madam Dee crossed her arms. "They told you about me, yes? When you inquired at the docks?"

"They did." He nodded. "Please, Madam. I'm desperate."

"Oh, I know. You have to get back to the woman you love. To save her from her false memories and reunite her with her family that has only just been cursed." She said. "Do you know what Madame Dee stands for, Killian Jones?"

"I heard tale that you were Destiny." Killian said softly. "But that you don't ever tell anyone their destiny."

"You are correct, young man. To know one's destiny is to change it. That is not the way of things. And before you go on about you making your own fate, I agree. I can read your destiny - the path you are most likely to take and it's outcomes but I cannot and will not interfere. You must choose the path, just as you had to choose what sort of man you wanted to be."

"Then…you'll help me?" Killian asked.

"Of course. For the jewel." She nodded and he reluctantly handed it over. "Thank you. Now, if you step out this door and head into the pub, you'll find an old…friend who has a bean. You'll know his price."

"Thank you, Madame Dee." He smiled and turned to go.

"Killian Jones, wait." Madame Dee said, stopping him. "Just remember that happiness always starts with hope. Don't give up on it."

Strangely uplifted by her last comment, Killian took his leave and made his way into the pub. What he saw there stopped him in his tracks and made his blood boil.

 _Blackbeard._

"Ah! Hook. Or do we call you Captain Pillow now that you've gone soft?" Blackbeard said drolly. He didn't look much like the fearless captain that Hook had thrown off his ship nearly two months ago. He must have had a rough time since.

 _Captain Pillow?_ Killian thought. _Surely you could come up with something better than that! Perhaps he truly has fallen on hard times._ "Aye. Hook will do." He glared, in no mood for games. "Since you apparently won't die, lets do some business."

Blackbeard, who was clearly drunk (which explained the pillow comment), sat back in his seat. "What sort of business could we have with each other?"

"I need a magic bean." Killian explained. "And I hear you've got one."

That seemed to sober Blackbeard up, and he called for some tea to help chase the remaining for of alcohol away. "And why would I want to do business with you?"

"Because I can pay." Hook shrugged, swirling his rum around in his glass while Blackbeard sipped his tea. This had to be, by far, the strangest meeting the two men had ever had. _If only he knew about coffee…it brings you to your senses much faster than tea._

"I doubt it." Blackbeard shrugged. "You aren't a hero and you aren't a pirate. A man in-between can get nothing done."

"We know what we are but not who we may be*" Killian shrugged. "I know who I am. And I know you have a bean. Now, are we going to sit here and trade barbs or are we going to do business?"

"Let me make this quick, because I don't want to be around you." Blackbeard said. "I want the _Jolly Roger_. I'll take nothing less."

To his credit, Killian didn't visibly react. But the words of Madame Dee came back to him _She said I'd know his price. Deep down, I knew this had to be it._

 _Yes, and wonderful though she is, a few planks and a sail do not compare to Emma._ His conscience reminded him.

 _I know._ Killian thought. _I've made my choice. It's an easy one._

 _I choose Emma._

"Deal." Killian said, only hesitating a fraction of a moment. He had the satisfaction of seeing Blackbeard's shock before the other man schooled his face to hide his reaction.

"Shall we, then?"

"I give you the _Jolly_ , you give me the bean. I just have to get a few…personal items off her. Meet me at the docks in an hour." Killian nodded.

* * *

* _Hamlet_ , Act 4 Scene 5


	13. Chapter 13

AN: I'm continuing my journey into the head of Killian Jones during the missing year/season 3B. From here, it gets a little...weird/magical, but hey, it's OUAT. Also, here's a few friendly reminders: words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, as always, I own nothing. Enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 13**

It took him only a few moments to grab the absolute necessities: the compass, a journal, a little trinket of Liam's, and a piece of the rigging.

"I'm sorry, darling." Killian said as he tucked the rigging in his pocket. "I know you understand. You've seen me through a lot."

"Talking to a ship?" A familiar voice asked.

Killian turned to see the version of Emma his conscience had manifested itself as a few months prior.

"I am sure in my decision, so why are you here?"

"For comfort." Not-Emma shrugged. "And to cheer you on?"

Killian raised an eyebrow. "She's been my home for a long time. I will miss her and the last person I ever wanted to turn her over to is that bloody idiot Blackbeard."

"But…" His conscience prompted.

"But it's worth it. Emma is worth it." Killian shrugged. "It's not enough to just survive anymore. I can't stay here and any curse like that…I know I do not have the time to go about finding another way."

"Congratulations on some personal growth, Killian Jones." His conscience smiled.

"Aye." He said softly and leaned against the railing. His conscience didn't say a word, just stood with him. Killian was prepared for the next part. He knew it would hurt. This was by far one of the most difficult things he had ever done. But deep down he knew it was the right choice, and the right thing to do.

Funny, how after 200 years of self-service and anger, Killian now found himself wanting to do the right thing. And though his heart was breaking a little for the loss of the only home he'd known for so long, the ship that had the memories of Milah and Liam, part of him was excited. He had a chance to see Emma again. He could restore her memories. Perhaps she will realize her feelings for him once that happens.

"Slow down. You know Emma." His conscience warned.

"Aye, I do. I know she's tough and her walls are up, but I made a lot of progress on them before the curse and when she remembers, I'll begin again." Killian smiled. "Even if she's rebuilt a few."

Killian turned to his conscience and smiled at his own imaginary version of Emma. "Thank you."

Not-Emma just winked and vanished. Killian stood for another half hour, drinking his ship in and enjoying her one final time.

Blackbeard was punctual, at least, and much more sober.

He seemed to stare at Killian as if he had three heads. "Why do you want a bean this badly?"

For once, Blackbeard had dropped the hard pirate persona and was simply looking at Killian. He was confused and calculating, trying to figure out what was worth more than the _Jolly Roger_ that required going through a portal.

"That's my business, I'm afraid." Killian said calmly. "Do we still have a deal?"

"Aye." Blackbeard pulled out a bean. "Trade at the bottom of the gangplank?"

"Any double crossing nullifies all deals." Killian nodded and started down the gangplank. He did not let Blackbeard pass until he had the bean.

"Whatever it is, I hope it's worth it." Blackbeard said softly.

"Believe me, it is." Killian said and walked away, bean in hand.

Once he felt he was safe, Killian took out the compass, smiling at the memories it brought him, and focused on getting to Emma in New York. He threw the bean on to the ground and jumped in. In no time, the portal spat him out in a large park.

At first, Killian thought he might be in the wrong place. Then he looked up and saw buildings reaching the sky and he knew he was back in New York. The last time he was here, his goal had been to find the crocodile. That had been easy, he knew where they were going and New York was a surprisingly simple place to navigate. This time, however, he had no idea where Emma lived. He knew where to start, though. The library. And as luck, or fate, would have it, he landed in a park quite near the library.

 _Perhaps fortune is on my side this time._ Killian thought and happily made his way into the grand old building that was the central branch of the New York Public Library.

Most of the people of the land without magic used their talking phones to find things. Killian Jones had found this useful item called a phonebook in the Storybrooke library. If his hunch was correct, Emma would be a bail bonds person. The library was a welcome sight, the marble floors and rows of books feeling familiar - some things were the same across the realms - and Killian, with a bit of charm, found the location of the phonebooks. There were _many_ bail bondsmen in New York. Killian eliminated any that had years of experience, and any that were clearly geared towards a person who spoke another language.

 _Still too many._ Killian thought. _Perhaps a little help wouldn't be amiss…_

Killian walked back to the desk.

"Apologies, lass, but I appear to need some assistance." He said, smiling.

"Sure, what can I do for you?" The woman asked.

"I'm looking for a bail bonds person. We were chasing the same villain when she accidentally took my bag with my belongings and identification. I've got a name and a description, but I've no idea what agency she works for. I just want to get my identification back, and possibly my change of clothes." Killian explained. "Can you help a fellow out?"

"I'll try googling it." She smiled. "Name?"

"Emma Swan."

The woman typed for a moment, staring at the magic box the people of this world loved so much. "Ah. Got it. She works for a local company. Big Apple Bonds, LLC."

 _Nice, Regina._ Killian thought. _Couldn't help yourself, could you?_

"The office isn't too far from here. I'll write down the address for you."

"You've been terribly kind, thank you." Killian laid on the charm.

"You're welcome." She handed him a piece of paper with the address. "Good luck."

Killian just winked at her and left the library. It was too late to start searching tonight, so he made his way to Baelfire - Neal's - old apartment. It was fortunately still undisturbed, and he even noticed that Henry had left his device for capturing images there. If Swan wasn't convinced, sending her here might be a good plan B. Falling asleep the minute his head hit the pillow, Killian had his first peaceful night's rest in nearly a year.

Early the next morning, he set out for the address on the scrap of paper. It would be easy to follow Emma home. Pulling out the book he had…borrowed from the library, Killian Jones settled in for a long day of reading and waiting. Emma arrived with a cup of coffee and it took everything he had to stay where he was.

 _Beautiful_. Killian thought. She really was. Her blonde hair hung in curls and she seemed more dressed up than usual. However, the look was missing her signature red jacket. He thought he'd memorized her features, her gait, and her look but seeing her again after a year showed him how far off the mark he'd been. Emma was _stunning_. There was no other word for it. But Killian was resolute. Stopping her on the street like this was a bad plan, and then he wouldn't be able to find out where she lives. So he sat and read. When she went to lunch, he followed her (at a good distance, she was _still_ Emma and the daughter of Snow White, tracker extraordinaire.) Emma seemed lighter here, a bit more carefree, but also less…real. Like deep down she knew something wasn't right, but had decided to delude herself and ignore the feeling so she could be happy. Which wasn't true happiness but this was Emma, her stubbornness and her denial were, at times, intense. So, when she merely went to a sandwich place, Killian returned to his post at her work.

Finally, it was time for her to head home. Following her, again at a discreet distance, Killian was happy to see that she lived close to a park, south of the Library, near a street called "Madison". After verifying her name was on the door, he returned to Neal's apartment, which was about 20 blocks away but much easier to traverse than the paths through a forest. He also knew exactly when he needed to arrive. Emma was a creature of habit, so her morning routines would be the same every day. (camping in the jungle for weeks on end will teach you things about a person…)

Getting into the apartment building was ridiculously easy. _This is not a protected building at all._ Killian thought. _Just anyone could walk in here._ All he had to do was hold the door for a woman walking out with a few things in her hand and say good morning pleasantly. She nodded her thanks and went about her business, completely fine with the fact that she'd just let a pirate into her building. Though, to be fair, she probably didn't realize he was a pirate.

Killian felt a thrill of anticipation as he knocked on her door. He heard music from inside and thought, perhaps, his first knock was too quiet, so he knocked again, this time louder. Emma opened the door and all the rational parts of his brain shut down.


	14. Chapter 14

AN: I'm continuing my journey into the head of Killian Jones during the missing year/season 3B. From here, it gets a little...weird/magical, but hey, it's OUAT. Also, here's a few friendly reminders: words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, as always, I own nothing. Enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 14**

Killian felt a thrill of anticipation as he knocked on her door. He heard music from inside and thought, perhaps, his first knock was too quiet, so he knocked again, this time louder. Emma opened the door and all the rational parts of his brain shut down.

" **Swan**." He breathed.

Her eyes got big, whether from some sort of recognition deep-down or the fact that he knew her name. He took a step forward. " **At last**." _It's been a long year without you, love._ He thought.

Emma held out a hand to stop him. " **Whoa! Do I know you?** "

 _Remember, idiot, she doesn't have her memories._ Killian reminded himself. " **Look, I need our help. Something's happened. Something terrible. Your family is in trouble.** " _Come on, Emma. Remember!_

Emma was on the defensive at that comment. " **My family's right here. Who are you?** "

 _Loaded question there, love_. " **An old friend**." He said, then tried for one more desperate move. " **Look, I know you can't remember me, but... I can make you.** "

Killian moved towards her and kissed her, the same feelings rushing through him as the ones he felt in Neverland. Then it was all over as he doubled over in pain. It'd been a century since he'd been kicked _there_ but the pain was as bad as ever.

Emma was clearly angry. _Any woman who kicks a man…like that…is most definitely angry_. But her " **The hell are you doing?** " didn't quite have the fire of an angry Emma, more like a confused one. Confused was good.

Killian grimaced. " **A long-shot. I had to try. I was hoping you felt as I did**." The words of Dee and Snow White rose unbidden into his head: _happiness always starts with hope. But it didn't work…_

Anger had finally won out over confusion as Emma retorted, " **What you'll feel is the handcuffs when I call the cops**."

Making one more desperate plea as she began to shut the door, Killian tried once more, this time trying to apply to her more rational side, " **Look, I know this seems crazy, but you have to listen to me. You have to remem—** "

And she slammed the door in his face.

 _That went well._ Killian scowled and made his way back to the park. He needed to think, come up with another plan. He would not give up. _A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets._

Killian paced and thought for what seemed like hours. He returned his book to the library and "borrowed" a new one (he was sure that this was what libraries were for but he was certain that his method of obtaining books would be frowned upon). Emma came home, her hair a little disheveled but a smile on her face.

 _Good day at work?_ Killian mused. _But now what?_

He still had no idea how to approach her again. He couldn't go to her home - she'd not open the door again. And if he met her on the street she'd run. but then she re-emerged from the apartment dressed up with her hair done. Killian may not have been from the land without magic, but he'd been there long enough to recognize a woman dressed for a date. He discretely followed her to a restaurant and inspiration struck. He didn't want to think about the fact that she was on a date with a man, but it would provide a unique opportunity. Whenever the Ponce got up to use the facilities, he'd swoop in, sit down, and try out plan B. And apologize for kissing her. It was a desperate moment but Killian _was_ a gentleman and gentlemen didn't do things like that.

Emma laughed softly at something the Ponce said. Killian felt anger and jealousy course through his veins. _Just because you were celibate the last year doesn't mean she was. She doesn't remember you, or Neal, or any of the others she knew in Storybrooke._ He tried to reason with himself. _And once she remembers, she'll surely get rid of the Ponce. You can tell by her look that she doesn't really love him. She thinks she does, but only because she's denying that something in her life is missing and is confusing contentment with happiness._

Finally, the other man got up and Emma pulled out her phone. Killian swooped in and sat in the chair across from her.

She didn't look up. " **Hang on, I'll just finish one quick work thing**." Then Emma put her phone down and realized who was sitting in the chair. **"You!** "

Killian cut her off. " **I can explain.** "

Emma was clearly angry. " **You are a stalker**!"

" **Don't scream. Just hear me out.** " He held out a hand, hoping his honesty and desperation gave her enough pause to listen. And he had a rather odious duty to attend to. " **I don't do this very often. So treasure it, love. I've come to apologize.** "

Emma was incredulous. " **For trying to kiss me?** "

 _Yes for trying to kiss you! I had my reasons._ " **I was simply trying to jog your memory**."

" **It's time for you to go. Now**." She said, and at some point she had picked up the butter knife, though what she expected to do with such a blunt weapon…

 _Might as well try the whole truth_. Killian thought, then said, " **Your parents are in great danger, Emma**."

" **You really have no idea what you're talking about.** " She scoffed.

" **Cause you think you're an orphan? Because that's haunted you your whole life? I'm here to tell you everything you believed is wrong**." He explained.

" **You don't know me**."

Even without her memories, Emma was an open book. " **Alas, I know you better than you know yourself. I have proof. Take a gander**." Here Killian handed Emma the scrap of paper with Neal's address on it. He was sure that whatever fake memories Regina had given her, Emma would know Neal, even as only the father of her son. " **Here's an address. If you wanna know who you really are, who your parents are, go there**."

It was all too strange and confusing and terrifying for Emma. " **Leave. Now**."

Killian intended to, but he had to get out one more plea. " **You've been there before. A year ago. You just don't remember.** "

He could see her clinging to her false memories for dear life. " **A year ago I was in Boston. Till a fire destroyed my apartment and I moved to New York to have a fresh start with my son**."

While her lack of memory was certainly irritating, Killian could appreciate the level of skill involved in creating such a thorough fake life. " **Regina did really a number on you**."

" **You're a crazy person.** " She said. " **Or a liar. Or both**."

" **I prefer dashing rapscallion**." Killian tried charm, but to no effect. " **Scoundrel**?"

" **Give me one good reason not to punch you in the face.** " Emma threatened him.

" **You really don't believe me?** " He asked. _I'll prove how well I know you. And in the process, prove to you that I am not lying._ Killian leaned a bit closer to her. " **Try using your superpower.** " He repressed a grin at her shock. " **Yep, I know about that. Use it. See that I'm telling the truth**."

But Emma could rationalize anything when she was stubbornly denying something. " **Just because you believe something is true, does not make it real.** "

 _She does have a fair point_. " **Maybe. Maybe not.** " Killian conceded, but he could tell he was getting to her. " **I know you, Swan. You sense something's off. Go to that address. Take a chance. Then you'll want to talk. When you do I'll be in Central Park. By the entrance of the zoo. Don't do it for me. Or you. Do it for your family. They need your help**."

And with that, Killian left her. _Your move, Swan._ He thought. Getting to Central Park was going to take a while, especially from Neal's apartment, but he could use the stack of money he found in the apartment, hidden in a can, and take the public transportation of this place known as the "subway". Thus secure in his plan, Killian set off for his temporary home. He needed to get out early enough that Emma wouldn't encounter him and he'd have to lock the door so she wouldn't be suspicious.

He made his way to the library first thing in the morning and returned what had been a very informative book on the city of New York and grabbed another book to while away the hours waiting on Emma (and it would be hours, at least two, if he had to guess). The "subway" was a long series of carriages that sped by but they were color-coded and the maps were easy to understand. In no time, Killian was sitting on a bench by the entrance to the zoo reading a story called _Henry V_ (he wasn't sure if anyone in the Land Without Magic enjoyed his works, but Killian Jones was definitely a fan of Shakespeare, whoever he was).

After a few hours, he tucked the book into his coat and stood to stretch his legs. Emma came walking towards him, clearly disconcerted.

Killian was relieved that plan B had worked. " **Swan, I knew that'd work. It's good to see you again**."

He could practically feel the anger radiating off her. " **Why didn't you tell me it was Neal's place?** "

 _Really love? You're having this reaction and you want to know why I didn't tell you?_ Hook gave her an apologetic look. **"I think the tone of your voice answers that quite clearly. You never would have gone if I had**."

" **What does Neal have you up to? Is he trying to get into Henry's life?** " Emma was getting ready to work herself into a full-on panic-fueled interrogation. " **How does he even know about him?** "

" **I've already told you I'm not here because of Neal**." He tried to calm her fears. " **I'm here because your parents are in trouble. Their entire kingdom has been cursed, ripped back to Storybrooke**." The worst thing he could to right now would be to tell her a lie.

" **What are you talking about?** " Emma asked, doubtful. " **My parents? Their kingdom? A curse? Do you know what you sound like?** "

Killian had to give her that. " **Like a mad man, I'm sure. But it's true. Your parents need you. You're the only one who can save them**." He narrowed his eyes. Sometimes Emma needed to be challenged to come to the truth of things. " **If you don't believe me at all, why did you come here?** "

Emma reached into her bag. " **Because Neal has a camera with my son's name on it. How?** "

 _That's what that thing was called. A camera!_ Killian thought. He couldn't remember the name of the contraption when he'd found it earlier. But now he had real, physical evidence that Emma could not deny even if she wanted to . " **Don't you see? That is proof of what I'm saying. Henry must have left that in the apartment when you were in New York last year**."

" **Not good enough. I want answers. Real ones**." She wasn't ready to believe, yet, but he was making progress.

Killian sighed and pulled the memory potion out. He could reason with her all he wanted, but they only way she'd really believe is if she could remember. " **There's only one way you'll get those. Drink this**."

Emma eyed the potion but made no move to take it. " **Drink the thing the crazy guy just offered me? No, thank you**."

" **It'll help you remember everything you have lost.** " Killian said, trying one last time to appeal to her intuition, which, though she'd never admit it, she trusted above just about everything else. "I **f one small part of you senses that, don't you owe it to yourself to find out, if I'm right?** " He was reminded for a moment of the two of them atop the beanstalk, her clearly fighting the fact that she trusted him even when logic dictated that she shouldn't. " **What do you say, love? Take a leap of faith. Give it a go**." **_Try something new, darling, it's called trust_** _._

" **Call me love one more time and you'll lose the other hand**." He should have known what was coming by the look on her face, but Killian was trying to convince her so completely that he didn't realize she had cuffs until she slapped them on him.

 _Again, really?_ He thought, but what was she going to do with him handcuffed to a bench? Leave him?

Emma's walls were slammed back into place. " **Making sure that you never bother my son and me again**." She whistled and two uniformed men, which thanks to a bit of reading Killian knew were police officers, walked toward them. " **This is the guy. The one who assaulted me."**

 _Assult? When? Wait…_ Killian was incredulous. " **It was a kiss**."

She was walking away, quite proud of herself. " **There. He confessed**."

He called out to her but it did no good. The police officers were telling him he had the right to remain silent, and Killian wisely chose to do so once it was apparent that Emma was _not_ coming back.


	15. Chapter 15

AN: I'm continuing my journey into the head of Killian Jones during the missing year/season 3B. From here, it gets a little...weird/magical, but hey, it's OUAT. Also, here's a few friendly reminders: words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, as always, I own nothing. Enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 15**

The brig was similar to the one in Storybrooke but much larger. He was checked in and had to give up his hand (he'd wisely left the hook at Neal's) while they fingerprinted his one good hand. Then he was led into a room to have lunch, but whatever he was eating (and he was told he _had_ to eat it) was unappealing to say the least.

"Mate, what do they call this?" He asked the person sitting next to him.

The other man looked at him curiously for a moment. "Bologna."

"Bologna?" Killian looked dubiously at the pink circle. "What is it."

"It's…" The man trailed off. "It's meat. Just eat it. What are you in for?"

"I kissed a woman, I thought she was someone else, and now they're charging me with assault." Killian shrugged. "You?"

"Smashed the windows of my girlfriend's car." The man said. "I'm Franklin."

"Killian." Killian nodded and forced himself to eat the strange looking (and even stranger tasting) food.

Fortunately, he was only in the crowded holding cell for a few hours. One of the guards came in the cell calling for Killian Jones.

"Aye." Killian stood.

"You're being released. The lady decided to drop the charges, seems to think you made a mistake." The police office said.

Killian was excited to collect his things and get out of there. Re-attaching his hand, he made his way onto the street, looking at the sky and reveling in his freedom for a moment.

" **Hey.** " Emma's voice snapped his attention to where she stood, holding something. He was happy to see she looked extremely out of sorts. Hopefully that meant she was finally coming around. " **We need to talk**."

Killian was just happy to see her, happy that, on some level, she believed him. " **I knew you wouldn't let me rot in that cage. I've been in my fair share of brigs, but none as barbaric as that. They force-fed me something called bologna**."

He could tell she was confused and frustrated to the point of distraction when his comment didn't even earn him an eye-roll.

Instead she began questioning him about the images in her hand. " **What the hell are these? We never lived in a town called Storybrooke. We never took a flight from Boston to New York. We never did any of this.** "

" **So you believe me, then**." He kept his voice even.

" **I don't know. You could have photoshopped these pictures?** "

She was so in denial that she was spouting nonsense. What in the realms was she talking about? He looked at her, the confusion evident in his face and voice. " **Photoshopped**?"

" **Faked**." Emma translated.

She was so close to accepting the truth, but he had to tread carefully so Killian applied logic. " **If you think these are forgeries, then why'd you spring me from the brig**?" He pressed her a little more. " **Because as much as you deny it, deep down, you know something's wrong. Deep down, you know I'm right**."

She shook her head, stubborn to the end. " **It's not possible. How can I forget all of this**?" Emma was confused, her whole life was being turned on it's end and she knew it, but she wasn't ready to accept it.

" **I promise you there's an explanation**." Killian said.

" **Not one that makes sense**." Emma countered.

He pulled out the memory potion again. " **If you drink this, it will**."

" **If- If what you're saying is true I'd have to give up my life here**."

 _Now we come to the real reason for the denial._ He thought. _Contentment is easy, it doesn't require opening yourself up completely, and she doesn't want to risk getting hurt_. " **It's all based on lies**." Killian pointed out, knowing how much she hated lies.

" **It's real and it's pretty good**." Emma was going to cling to her comfort as much as possible. " **I have Henry. A job. A guy I love.** "

That one hurt. Even knowing that she didn't _really_ love the Ponce didn't soften the blow much. " **Perhaps there's a man that you love in the life you've lost**." Killian tried to control the emotion in his voice. This was about her, not him. " **Regardless, if you wanna find the truth, drink up. Do you really want to live a life of lies? You know this isn't right. Trust your gut, Swan. It will tell you what to do**."

" **Henry always says that**." Emma said.

 _Aye, and so do your parents, and even Regina._ " **Then if you won't listen to me, then listen to your boy**."

Emma took the bottle and after a few moments of hesitation, she drank it all down. He could see the memories returning, even though her eyes were closed. Emma stepped back and he could see the emotions flutter across her face. When she opening her eyes, he knew it had worked.

" **Hook**." Emma said, and Killian had never felt such joy at hearing his moniker.

He couldn't help the slow smile that spread across his face, or the teasing tilt of his his head as he asked. " **Did you miss me?** "

He was finally, finally awarded with a genuine Emma Swan eye-roll. "Come on." She shook her head. "We need to talk and we can't do it here."

Back at her apartment, he told her, briefly, and leaving out many significant details, about what had happened in the year they were apart while she gathered rum and glasses. " **Snow and the Queen settled their differences. Frankly, I was bored. I had a life to get back to. A pirate's life**."

" **Glad to see you haven't changed**." Emma scoffed.

Killian paused, letting the initial sting pass before moving just a bit closer. He knew an Emma Swan defense mechanism when he saw one. She was reeling and trying to deal with the realzation that her whole life (or, what she thought was her life) was a lie. But he wanted, no, he _needed_ her to feel the true weight of his words. " **There wasn't anything for me in the Enchanted Forest. Why would I stay**?" Killian clinked glasses with her, and sat back, allowing her to process what he said. " **All was well until I got a message. A message saying that there was a new curse and that everyone had been returned to Storybrooke. The message told me that the only hope was you**."

" **You came all the way back here to save my family**?" The lost girl who never had anyone take care of her and the independent woman that life had created had a hard time believing what was happening. And she had a point, why would a pirate risk his life to help a few royals who weren't terribly fond of him?

Killian simply replied with the honest, heartfelt truth. " **I came back to save you**."

Emma paused a moment and looked away from him. " **Who could have done this**?" She asked, changing the subject a bit.

He shrugged. " **Someone powerful enough to reach into this world**."

" **Any more specific thoughts**?"

" **Alas, you're the savior, not me**." Killian said.

She shook her head. He could tell it was too much for her. " **You know what I was yesterday? A mother. Till you showed up and started pocking holes in everything I thought was real. When I drank that potion it was like waking up from a dream. A really good dream**."

 _I know, darling, and I know just how you feel, but it had to be done. For all our sakes._ " **Well, you have what matters most. Your son**."

 **"** **Now, I have to figure out how to explain this to him**." Emma said.

" **Alas, I could only scavenge together enough for one dose of memory potion**." He shook his head. _I don't envy you this problem, Swan, but I was not using the potion on anyone but yourself._

" **Better start figuring out what I'm gonna tell him**."

The doorbell rang. " **Who's that?** " Killian asked but the sinking feeling in his stomach told him it was the Ponce.

" **Walsh**." The way she said his name made his stomach plummet further. " **Henry invited him**."

Killian moved to stand " **I could get rid of him**." And he could. Killian could think of a thousand ways to get rid of the man who couldn't possibly deserve her affections. But her quick response of " **No** " stopped him.

" **My memories might not be real, but he is and so are the eight months we spent together.** " Emma sighed. " **I owe him an explanation**."

Killian panicked for a moment. What if she decided to tell the Ponce the truth and take him with her? " **What are you gonna say to him**?" Killian didn't want to know but at the same time, he had to.

" **I don't know. But I care about him too much to drag him into all this. Wait here**."

With that, she left the apartment and Killian was on his third refill of his rum glass before he realized what she said. Emma said "I care about him" not "I love him" which meant that she wasn't in love with him (truly, anyway), and that she was breaking up with him for good. But then he heard a thump and made his way to the door so he could hear better. He told himself it was for her safety only - not out of any morbid curiosity.

There had been no noises following the initial thump, so he was about to return to the rum. But then he heard screeching sounds and he bounded up the stairs and through the roof door just in time to see Emma looking over the edge at something…whatever had made those noises was long gone. In it's place stood Emma Swan, the savior.

She was sad that her nice, normal life had gone up in smoke and Killian desperately wanted to tell her that she could have love and family and all the truly important things that she felt like she was giving up in Storybrooke. With people who really love her. But Emma wasn't ready to hear all that just yet. Someday, maybe, but not tonight and probably not until after they broke whatever new curse had befallen the former residents of the Enchanted Forest.


	16. Chapter 16

AN: I'm continuing my journey into the head of Killian Jones during the missing year/season 3B. From here, it gets a little...weird/magical, but hey, it's OUAT. Also, here's a few friendly reminders: words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, as always, I own nothing. Enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 16**

This time when Killian knocked on her door, he knew a much friendlier Emma Swan would answer. He leaned against the wall, and the minute the door opened, he pretty much barged in, smiling at her expression as he walked passed. He could hear the clack of her heels as she hurried after him.

" **Henry. This is…** " Emma paused at his name. " **Killian**."

Killian reveled in hearing his name on her lips. It was the first time she'd ever used it. Emma was clearly flustered by not only his presence, but explaining all of this to the lad.

" **He's- I'm, uhm, I'm helping him with his case**." She said.

"Did you skip bail?" Henry looked confused.

Killian smiled. " **Oh, he's still a little spitfire**." Now that he knew the boy's parentage, it was easy to see how much he inherited from both Emma and Bae and what he picked up living with Regina.

" **Still?** " Henry asked.

" **He's not a perp**." Emma explained and judging by context, Killian figured that a 'perp' was a 'perpetrator'. " **He's a client**."

Henry gave him an appraising look. " **Why are you dressed like that?** "

 _I'll have you know that I am dashingly handsome and awe-inspiring. Whereas, you, lad, are wearing a woodcutter's garment_. Killian thought, and the tone just begged to be countered, " **Why are you dressed like that?** "

Emma put a stop to the line of questioning. " **Alright. Alright. Just make yourself useful, Killian, and get our bags. Henry, lend him a hand**."

Killian could almost feel the small eyebrow raise and smirk from Emma as she realized her little joke about giving him a hand. And she needed to distract Henry. The lad had clearly not believed whatever Swan had told him before Killian arrived and was curious.

" **Wait. We're really going?** " Henry asked.

Emma handed Henry his coat. " **Yes, I just need one last thing**."

Killian was surprised how much room there was in the little yellow vessel. It wasn't large but he wasn't uncomfortable. And it certainly wasn't going to jostle him the whole way like a horse or even a carriage would.

"So, how far is our journey?" Killian asked after they pulled away. Henry was plugged into some small device and seemed perfectly content in the back, for now. Killian knew it wouldn't be long before the lad's natural curiosity made him start to ask questions.

"About 7 hours." Emma said. "You can sleep, if you want."

"Someone needs to keep you awake to captain the vessel, Swan." Killian smiled. "What better way than my stirring company?"

She rolled her eyes. "Just…just remember Henry is here and he will emerge from the video games eventually."

"Not a problem, Swan. Shall I tell you of my adventures in New York?" He asked, knowing she needed to focus on something else - anything else - than last night and the fact that fate kept bringing her back to Storybrooke and magic and all those things she was trying to run away from.

"Fortunately, I've learned the use of libraries, so I went there first and borrowed - "

"Stole." Emma corrected.

"Aye, but I did return it, so it was not really stealing." Killian grinned. "So I borrowed a book on the city of New York, it was interesting and I learned how to use things like the subway. I know most people use their devices to look up information but I defy anyone to say that there is not more information to be found in books."

"You're probably right." She nodded. "I never pictured Ca-you being a big reader."

"Well, from what I can tell, this world rarely gets the story right, but that's no excuse for not being well-read. You learn all sorts of useful things from books. I found the Storybrooke library very helpful." He shook his head. "And the New York Library is an impressive place."

Emma looked at him sideways. "What else did you 'borrow'?"

"Well when I was in Storybrooke before, I acquired a story called 'Hamlet' from the library. Have you heard of this fellow named 'Shakespeare'?" Killian asked.

Emma burst out laughing.

 _That wasn't a bloody joke. What…_ Killian thought but then was distracted by the sound of her laughter. It was pure and clean and happy. She needed to laugh more.

"Sorry." Emma said, getting herself under control. "He's kind of like, the most famous author, ever. Playwright, actually." She glanced back to see Henry still completely absorbed in his game, headphones on and all. "I figures someone as old as you would appreciate Shakespeare."

"Why?" Killian asked, curious.

"He lived like 500 years ago and wrote all these plays that everyone has to read in high school and hates, but all the old people love it." Emma shrugged. "So you read Hamlet. What else?"

"A few plays about these kings named Henry." He answered. "Fascinating stories. And you hate it?"

"Well…I didn't enjoy reading it in high school. I guess it was just too…I liked things with simpler language." She replied.

"Doubt thou the stars are fire; doubt that the sun doth move; doubt truth be a liar; but never doubt I love.**" Killian quoted. "Beautiful words, Swan. I don't know how anyone could not like it."

Emma was quiet for a moment. "Wow. I guess…" She paused and Killian thought for a moment she was going to say something serious, affected as she seemed to be, but then she smiled. "I guess you need an old person to explain it to you."

" _Experienced_ , Swan, and appreciative of a fine use of language." He said, mock offended. "But not old. Definitely _not_ old."

"He doesn't look old, Mom." Henry said, startling both of them.

"Bad form, scaring us like that, mate." Killian smiled at the lad. "Your mother happens to be a mere two years younger than meself, so she likes to tease and say that I'm old."

Emma shot him a grateful glance.

"So you guys have known each other a long time?" Henry asked.

Killian had been waiting for the naturally curious boy to start asking questions. Emma's explanations were vague at best and Henry didn't do vague.

"Not exactly." Emma said.

"Sometimes, lad, going through some tough things brings you closer than years. Your mother and I were in competition at once time. Then we worked together for a bit. But she didn't trust me, and I almost can't blame her because my actions weren't exactly trustworthy, so we went back to being in competition, but after clearing the air, we became friends." Killian explained. It was all the truth, just without the magical compass, Cora, a giant, and the beanstalk.

"So…you're a bounty hunter?" Henry furrowed his brow. "She said you're a client."

"I specialize in acquiring rare and valuable objects, stolen goods, that sort of thing. I do dabble in some bounty hunting, but objects are more my forte." Killian answered smoothly. _Emma is the one that should be explaining this, but by the look on her face she has no clue what to say to him._ He shook his head at the thought. _I'll save you, Swan, even if it's merely from an uncomfortable talk with your son._

"Who wants a pit stop?" Emma asked abruptly.

 _Pit stop?_ Killian looked at her curiously.

"Me! Can I get a snack?" Henry said.

"Killian? Do you need a break to stretch your legs and get a snack?" She looked at him, subtly explaining the meaning of the word.

"Sounds lovely, Swan." Killian smiled. This was turning out to be quite a nice trip, even if he was confined in the small yellow vehicle.

Emma pulled him aside once Henry disappeared into the facilities.

"Thanks." She said simply.

"Whatever for, Swan?" Killian asked.

"For giving Henry a decent cover story. I don't think I could have come up with anything as believable." Emma explained.

"I simply told him the truth." He smiled. "Without some magical extras. Though perhaps being confined like this for so long does give you an opportunity to tell him everything."

"Yeah…no." She scoffed. "I'll get us some snacks."

** _Hamlet,_ Act 2, Scene 2


	17. Chapter 17

AN: I'm continuing my journey into the head of Killian Jones during the missing year/season 3B. From here, it gets a little...weird/magical, but hey, it's OUAT. Also, here's a few friendly reminders: words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, as always, I own nothing. Enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 17**

The rest of the ride was pleasant. Henry asked many questions about the cases they'd worked together and some of the items Killian had "retrieved". For his part, Killian told the boy as much of the truth as he could without revealing anything about magic to Henry. Emma stepped in on occasion to help and the boy seemed mostly satisfied. By the time they reached Storybrooke it was late, and Henry was asleep in the back. Emma looked around at the town, the apprehension clearly written on her face.

Emma pulled into a parking spot and they climbed out of the care. " **It's really back. I'm really back**." She said.

 _Aye, you are_. Killian thought, and said " **As quaint and homey as you remember?** "

" **As cursed as I remember**." She looked around as Killian fished in his pocket for his hook. He may not identify by the moniker anymore, but the hook had its uses.

He grinned hearing the familiar click. " **That's more like it, isn't it, Swan?** " Killian touched her hair gently with the hook, happy that she didn't even flinch.

Emma was not amused. " **How you gonna explain that to him**?"

 _I'm not walking around with that hand all the time_. Killian shrugged. " **Well, that's more your concern. Perhaps it'll jog his memory.** "

" **Or give him nightmares**." Emma pointed out. " **Last time, this curse took away everyone's memories**."

Killian nodded, but unfortunately had no information on the effects of the curse at all, this being his first trip back into Storybrooke since the second curse. " **This time we don't know what it did.** "

Emma said she'd check it out, leaving Henry with him. _For someone who doesn't trust easy, you're trusting me with an awful lot here, Swan_. Killian thought, looking at the sleeping boy. This was certainly an interesting development. _And not an unwelcome one_.

A few minutes later, Killian was carrying a sleeping Henry up the stairs to a room at Granny's, Emma following close behind them.

"I have my parents meeting us downstairs in the living room, I'm going to tuck him in and make sure he's out. You're staying, right?" Emma asked in a whisper after they closed the door.

"Aye, I just need to secure my own lodgings first." Killian nodded and went to take care of business.

Granny didn't seem the least bit cranky to be dealing with him. "So you weren't part of the curse?" She asked.

"No. I managed to avoid it." Killian said vaguely, pulling out a few doubloons. "You take these?"

Granny took one and bit it. "Sure. How long?"

"No way to be certain." He shook his head. "How long will that last me?"

"This amount? A month." She narrowed her eyes. "But you be the man you should be and not the man you were."

Killian grinned and gave her an exaggerated bow. "No promises, but I'll try, miLady."

Granny glared at him but he winked at her and she softened the look into a small smile.

He beat Emma into the living room where her parents sat waiting. Killian schooled has face into a neutral expression but it was a bit of a shock to see Snow pregnant.

 _Remember the cave? She said she wanted another child._ He thought. _But what will this do to Emma?_

Before he could say much more than "hello", Emma walked in. " **Okay, Henry is asleep upstairs. If he wakes up, you two are helping me with the case**." She sat down on the couch. " **So, what the hell happened here? I mean, besides the obvious.** "

Snow replied, " **We don't know. We watched you drive over the town line with Henry. Regina started to cast her spell to take us all back to the Enchanted Forest and then...everything went black**."

Like clockwork, the other half of the Charmings chimed in. " **And the next thing we remember is waking up in our beds like it was any other morning in Storybrooke**."

" **Except it clearly wasn't**." Snow gestured to her protruding belly.

Killian knew the Charmings were excited about the new child. And to be reunited with their daughter. But to be pregnant and not remember announcing it, telling the father, and of the important milestones, was terrible, especially after they already missed so much with Emma. And not remembering creating the baby? _Terrible luck, indeed._ " **Almost harvest time and you can't remember the planting. It's bad luck, mate**." Killian shot David an apologetic look, which won him an eyeroll from both mother and daughter. _Oh I have missed winding them up…_

Emma steered the conversation in a safer direction. " **Clearly a year's passed. I was in New York, I know I was**."

David sighed. " **And we don't know where the hell we were. We don't even know if we left Storybrooke**."

Here, Killian could help. He explained their return to the Enchanted Forest, meeting the other royals, and his departure. " **The last I saw of you lot, you were making your way to Regina's castle.** "

" **And now you're cursed**." Emma shook her head. " **Why doesn't that surprise me?** "

 _I don't think it was Regina, love._ Killian thought. And Snow echoed his sentiment, thought for different reasons. " **Regina seems as clueless as the rest of us. I'm not quite sure she was involved in this**."

" **So she says**." Emma added dubiously.

David turned and addressed Killian. " **I don't understand: If you left the Enchanted Forest before the curse, how did you know to find Emma and come to Storybrooke**?"

For once, the Prince was addressing him with genuine confusion and not mistrust. Killian knew he'd have to answer this question, and he had expected it from Emma earlier, but from the look on her face, she hadn't thought to ask him until her father said something. " **As I was sailing the realms a bird landed on my ship's wheel with a note instructing me to retrieve Emma and bring her back here. There was a small vial of memory potion tied to its leg**."

" **Who sent it?** " Snow asked.

 **"** **I assumed you did**." Killian answered.

David agreed. " **A message via bird-that does sound like you.** "

 _That's what I thought too, mate._ Killian thought, and then looked up as several dwarves barged in. He recognized the first one as Grumpy…Leroy…but he couldn't remember the other one…Happy, perhaps? They were going on about not being able to find a few dwarves. _That's concerning. Storybrooke isn't exactly a big city_.

Emma was clearly following the same line of thinking. " **Wait. What is going on?** "

Leroy - the grumpy one - was happy to see Emma (as happy as he could be) " **Thank God you're back, sister**."

Snow stepped in to explain. " **It's not just our memories that are missing. Ever since we woke up, people have begun disappearing**."

" **Whoever cursed us is picking us off, one by one**." Leroy added.

 _Not a bad plan_. Killian thought as he listened to the explanation. _You could pick off a few fringe folks, who no one will miss immediately, then go for bigger fish._

Killian was interrupted from his thoughts when Emma asked a question that sent his stomach plummeting. " **Wait. Neal. Is he here?** "

Two parts of Killian were warring. He knew that Baelfire had wanted to bring the Dark One back, which meant some terrible dark magic, he might even be the one snatching all the dwarves. He wanted to see him, to make sure that Bae was okay, that he hadn't paid a dark price to get back to his son. The other part of him did not want Baelfire to come back, for purely selfish reasons. If Bae was around, or remained unaccounted for, Emma would use that as an excuse to keep her walls up, to keep him at a distance. And it was clear that her parents still hoped for Emma and Baelfire to get back together. Of course, that could just be her mother trying to cheer her up, Snow White's optimism was incredible.

" **He'll turn up, Swan.** " Killian said, only a little bitter. " **He always does.** "


	18. Chapter 18

AN: I'm continuing my journey into the head of Killian Jones during the missing year/season 3B. From here, it gets a little...weird/magical, but hey, it's OUAT. Also, here's a few friendly reminders: words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, as always, I own nothing. Enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 18**

As usual, morning in Storybrooke broke with a crisis. One of Robin Hood's men had disappeared, which meant that Emma and David and Killian were out at the town line just after breakfast. Killian was pleased Emma had simply assumed he was coming with them when she knocked on his door at Granny's this morning. It was a step in the right direction, and frankly, he had done more than enough to earn her trust at this point.

Robin was explaining the situation about Little John and Killian was getting the feeling that this was much bigger than just a few people going missing. Or even just stopping people from leaving.

" **What exactly took Little John?** " David asked.

Robin Hood answered, " **We didn't get a good look. Some manner of a beast with wings.** "

" **That sounds a lot like the monster who attacked me in New York**." Emma said.

Killian knew this was big, if it was connected to the Ponce that Emma had dated in New York for _eight bloody months_. " **The monster you were gonna marry?** " It maybe wasn't the nicest thing to say at the moment, but watching another man propose to her and hearing all about her concern for Neal, he just couldn't quite reign in his jealousy.

David's shock was entertaining. " **You were gonna marry someone?** "

" **Did you just miss the part where I said "monster"?** " Killian looked at him curiously. _Come on, your Highness, keep up!_

Robin Hood clearly had enough of the Emma marrying a monster sidebar and brought them all back to the problem at hand, " **We need to find Little John**."

" **It may lead us to those who've gone missing. David, take him and the rest of his-** " Emma paused, and it was humorous to see her still struggle with the knowledge that all these stories she knew were real.

" **Merry Men**." Robin Hood supplied.

" **Right**." She said, unwilling to use the words herself. " **Them. Run a search grid and see if you can find any sign of their missing guy.** "

Emma turned back to the yellow bug, which confused Killian. It wasn't like Emma to leave a search. " **You're not joining, Swan?** "

" **Not yet. Regina was right. I'm not gonna figure out who's behind this curse by talking to people one by one**." She explained.

" **What are you gonna do?** " David asked.

" **I'm gonna talk to everybody**." Emma said and walked away.

Killian snuck a look at her as she walked away, which was a beautiful sight, but schooled his features into a more neutral expression quickly - if David caught him looking at Emma like that, Killian was pretty sure the swords would come out, and that was _not_ what he needed if he was to win Emma's heart.

Trekking through the woods with the other men felt good. Killian would never admit it, but being part of a search party that included such honorable men as Prince Charming and Robin Hood was…nice. It made him feel like he could some day regain the honor he had as a soldier. Not that he would ever disclose that, he had a reputation to protect after all. For now. And this search grid idea was truly ingenious. If he ever had another treasure to search for, this is what he was going to do. In almost no time they found the missing man.

" **Is he alive**?" Killian asked. _He's bloody huge. Anything that could take him out has got to be dangerous, indeed. How can they call a man like this "Little John"?_

" **Barely**." Robin said, shaking the large man slightly. " **John, I'm here. We've got you**."

From his vantage point, Killian could see the bite mark. It was like nothing he had ever seen before. It wasn't wolf, or dragon (though, truly, if a dragon got to you, they wouldn't just bite). It wasn't any of the water creatures either. " **I've never seen bite like that before**."

David shook his head. " **Me neither**." _Seen a lot of creature bites, your Higness, really?_ Killian thought, assessing the other man. _Or is it something you've learned here, during the curse?_

" **Okay, help me get him up. We gonna get him some help**." Robin said, shaking Killian out of his thoughts. Together, the searchers lifted the oxymoronically named Little John so they could get him to the hospital.

They rushed into the hospital, the medical folks all speaking rapidly and using words that Killian couldn't even begin to follow. Then Little John started to shake, violently. And then, because it was Storybrooke and things like this happened, he grew some manner of a tail.

 _What the hell is that?_ Killian thought as he watched. Anyone who tried to restrain or help the man was whacked in the face and toppled over by what was definitely a tail. " **Bloody hell!** " Killian exclaimed, ducking as the tail whipped out his direction. He grabbed Robin's arm, holding him back, whatever was happening to the man's friend was dangerous.

John shook and started to change. It took maybe ten seconds for the transformation to be complete. Then, standing on the rolling bed John had been on, was a monkey, of sorts, with giant wings. The beast stood and screamed a high pitched, horrible scream that Killian immediately recognized before flapping its wings and flying out the window. _Bloody hell, that's what the Ponce turned into?_ He thought. _Oh Emma, that must have been a very unpleasant surprise. And telling her about this is only going to make it worse…_

But it had to be done, so it wasn't long before Killian found himself outside the Charming apartment, debriefing on the day.

David kicked things off. "We know what happened to the missing people. One of Robin's men, Little John, was attacked this morning by a flying monkey, and we found Little John in the woods with a big bite wound on his shoulder, and when we got him to the hospital, he started to change. He hit everyone with a tail, then transformed and flew out the window."

Snow was shocked. " **They are being turned into flying monkeys?** "

" **Yes, he took a simian form with the added bonus of wings**." Killian confirmed.

" **Do you think this is what happened to the missing dwarves, too?** " Snow asked.

David nodded. " **It would explain why we haven't found any traces of them**."

" **And Neal?** " Emma asked.

" **No sign of him, either**." David answered. " **So, yeah, it's possible**."

" **Wouldn't be the first flying monkey I've dated**." Emma muttered, earning her a stare from her mother.

Regina began putting the pieces together, " **The person who escaped our trap disappeared in cloud of green smoke. And now, there are flying monkeys in this town? I think we know exactly who cursed us.** "

" **The Wicked Witch of the West?** " Emma joked, but at Regina's nod, she added. " **Seriously? She's real, too?** "

" **Says the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming.** " Killian pointed out. Emma could be delightfully, and stubbornly, incognizant sometimes.

" **I don't get it. It's not like we're in Kansas. Why would the Wicked Witch of the West wanna come to Storybrooke?** " Emma asked.

 _That is the question, isn't it._ Killian thought. _Who angered the wicked witch so much that she'd do this? And to what end?_

"Okay, meet back here in the morning, we'll start to figure this out." Emma sighed.

"Agreed. I guess I'll go brush up on my knowledge of Oz." Regina nodded, then quipped, "Let's hope it's more accurate than _Peter Pan_." And with that, they all separated for the night.


	19. Chapter 19

AN: I'm continuing my journey into the head of Killian Jones during the missing year/season 3B. From here, it gets a little...weird/magical, but hey, it's OUAT. Also, here's a few friendly reminders: words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, as always, I own nothing. I'm trying to update these as often as possible, and I don't actually know where they're going from here, so enjoy! Sorry for the delay in uploading, I was on vacation :D

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 19**

After the morning meeting, Killian found himself going through Regina's office looking for evidence. Despite the hook, he was actually very good at this, finding tiny bits of information, but there wasn't much there. The witch had been thorough in covering her tracks.

David was kneeling over something on the floor. " **I think I have a partial footprint. You guys see anything?** "

" **Other than an austere sense of design, nothing**." Killian replied.

" **Is that blood?** " Emma asked as they walked over to David.

David sniffed the red substance, which looked too light to be blood. " **It's berry**."

" **Like a fruit?** " Emma asked, a little surprised.

" **No, like holly berry**." David explained. " **They grow on bushes.** "

Killian was impressed, and asked, " **Are you some sort of botanist in this life, mate**?"

" **I worked in an animal shelter, saw dogs track them all the time**." David remained focused on the berry, then he looked up at Emma. " **The bushes grow in the woods.** "

" **You know where?** " She asked.

" **Yeah... in the northwest corner, not far from the troll bridge**." David stopped to pull out his cellphone, which was vibrating. He opened it and sighed.

" **Everything okay**?" Emma asked.

" **Uh, Mary Margaret needs me to come back to the loft**." David explained. " **We're getting a midwife, and she wants to meet the both of us.** "

" **A bit demanding, isn't she?** " Killian asked and a searing look from Emma had him adding, semi-apologetically, " **I meant the midwife.** "

"I **t's fine. Go.** " Emma told her father.

 **"** **No. W... we just got on track here.** " David argued and Killian was beginning to think that David really didn't want to go meet the midwife, for whatever reason.

Emma interrupted him. " **And I've got it covered. She needs you. Just meet us when you get done**."

David acquiesced with a sigh. " **All right."**

And they parted ways. David to head home for a bit, and Emma and Killian to trek through the woods looking for holly berries.

It did not take long to find the berries, David's directions were good. Killian pulled at the branch with his hook a little, just to see if they looked the same on the ground.

" **You'll look for any excuse to use that thing, won't you**?" Emma asked.

Killian ignored the comment, " **At least we know we're in the right place. What now?** "

" **Now, we start searching**." She said.

 _Trekking through a forest looking for an evil witch. Sounds about right_. He thought, then said. " **You know something, Swan? Whenever you're around, I inevitably find myself trekking through some manner of woods or forest, courting danger**." _trying to find a beanstalk, mucking about in the jungles of Neverland, navigating the forest of buildings in New York…_

" **Here, I thought you weren't afraid of anything** ," Emma replied, " **always looking for the next adventure**."

" **Oh, is that what this is?** " _I missed this, Swan, this banter of ours_.

" **Isn't it?** " She asked. " **The hell were you doing for the last year alone on that ship? I'm guessing it was one swashbuckling tale after another…** " Something in her tone told him that Emma wasn't buying his tale. " **Till you decided to come back and save me?** "

" **Exactly.** " Killian said, wondering how their light banter had turned serious so quickly.

" **You're lying.** " Emma said and turned to face him.

" **Excuse me?** " He knew better than to deny it, she'd see right through any lie he told, best to just let her know it was something he wasn't ready to talk about and maybe, just maybe, she'd leave well enough alone.

" **What happened back there? What aren't you telling me?** " She asked.

Killian didn't budge. " **Nothing. It's my tale, and I'm sticking to it.** "

" **Still don't believe you**."

" **Well, let's leave it at that, and you can just say thank you**." He tried moving the conversation to safer ground.

" **For my memories? I already did**." Emma pointed out.

" **Well, for saving you from a loveless marriage**." Killian countered.

" **Is that what you think you're doing?** " She asked and he was taken aback.

" **He was a flying monkey**." _Don't be ridiculous Swan, you never intended to marry that man, monkey or not._ Killian thought, but then wondered, _maybe I can't read her as well as I thought…maybe she was going to say yes._

" **I didn't know that**."

Killian stayed silent for a moment, contemplating his next question. He didn't want to know but he had to know. " **Were you considering it... his proposal**?"

Emma looked at him, trying to figure out where he was going with this. Killian could tell she was also trying to avoid answering the questions and dealing with the emotions she'd simply buried a few days ago. " **Does it matter**?"

" **Humor me**." He _had_ to know.

" **Yes, okay? I was in love, so of course I was considering it. As usual, he wasn't who he said he was, and I got my heart broken. That enough humor for you?** " Emma kept her voice even but he could hear the pain.

 _I'm sorry I had to do that, Emma, but you wouldn't be able to move on until you talked to someone about it. And "considering it" isn't a yes, it's a maybe. Which means deep down you know you didn't really love him._ Killian looked down, what he had to say next she wouldn't appreciate or really understand. Not yet. " **Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm glad to hear that**."

Emma's answer was a mixture of incredulity and pain. " **You're glad to hear I had my heart broken?** "

" **If it can be broken…** " Killian took a few steps toward her, enjoying her physical reaction to his closeness and her sharp intake of breath. But he wanted more than just the physical, he wanted her heart, as well. " **It means it still works.** " _And I still mean to win it._

She searched his face, confused, and Killian let his emotions shine through his eyes. She wasn't ready, not even close, but he needed her to know that he was there, he wasn't leaving, and he had every intention of waiting for her. Emma couldn't or wouldn't deal with that at the moment, so she turned and continued on up the path. Killian fell into step behind her, and the pair walked in silence, though not an entirely uncomfortable one.

They reached the crest of the hill and discovered a farmhouse.

" **You have to appreciate the irony**." Emma commented.

Having sped through the book last night, Killian understood her comment. "Aye."

"Let's have a closer look." Emma said and they approached the farmhouse.

The walked around the farmhouse, skulked, actually.

" **There's definitely someone living here**." Emma whispered. " **Looks empty right now, though**."

" **Why are we whispering?** " Killian asked.

" **Because good hideouts always look empty**." She explained. " **Trust me. I spent a lot of time tracking down people who don't want to be found. I know about hiding out**."

 _True, love, true. You are very good at hiding_. Killian thought as he followed her around the house. Then he saw Emma's eyes wander towards the storm cellar. _This is not going to be a good idea._

Sure enough, Emma was ready to barrel in to the locked storm cellar. She even tried to goad him into going with her but he held firm. No matter how much she wanted to check it out, the wicked witch's locked cellar, with only one way in or out, was a terrible idea unless they had magical backup. And as much faith as Killian had in her _abilities_ , Emma's control and capability of using said magical powers was questionable.

Killian did not like the way this was going. The Wicked Witch he read about was evil, certainly, but actually trying to figure her out, trying to figure out how to face her, was different. It was a lot to take in. And then, when they found Dave in the woods whiter than a sail, he knew the task of defeating the witch would not be an easy one. Anything that could scare the Prince that much…it was frightening. Then when Regina added that she took the symbol of the Prince's courage it was even more disconcerting.

When they made their way back up to the farmhouse, it only got worse. The lock on the storm cellar was busted, and it looked like someone - or something - had forced its way out of the cellar. One look from Emma and Killian drew his sword. They opened the door and crept down into the cellar.

As soon as she entered the cellar, Regina said. " **There's definitely dark magic here**." The sound she made was one of apprehension, which didn't help Killian's nerves at all (though he'd never show it).

" **Can you feel it?** " Regina asked.

" **I don't know. Maybe**." Emma answered, " **Whatever I feel, it's not good. What would the Wicked Witch keep in a cage... monkeys?** "

" **No, not monkeys.** " The Prince whispered, reaching for the light.

* * *

Thanks for sticking with me! Reviews are welcome and appreciated, I will try to be more regular with the uploads :D


	20. Chapter 20

AN: This is a look inside the head of everyone's favorite Pirate/Hero Killian Jones. I love how his character has grown over the last two years and was inspired to delve deeper into his transition from villain to hero. As always, here are few friendly reminders: words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, as always, I own nothing.

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 20**

Killian felt his stomach plummet. A spinning wheel. In a cage. This was not good. Not only was the Wicked Witch a dangerous foe, she also had the Crocodile under lock and key, which means she had the Dark One's dagger. So even if the Dark One wasn't against them anymore, which Killian believed would change as soon as it suited his purposes to stop helping the heroes, he didn't have any say. If the witch had the dagger, than she had control of the Dark One.

" **Now, how many people do we know…** " David picked up a piece of straw. " **Who can spin straw into gold?** "

" **Rumplestiltskin**." Emma said, her tone echoing Killian's own thoughts: this was very, very bad. Very bad indeed.

The re-grouped outside of the storm cellar.

"That lock was broken from the inside, which means Rumplestiltskin escaped." David said.

"And the witch doesn't know it yet." Regina pointed out. "We need to find him or the dagger before she does."

"Aye. The witch herself is bad enough, but the witch in control of the Dark One…" Killian trailed off, they all knew how bad the situation was.

"Okay, I'm going to go through this house and area to see if I can find any clue to who she is or where he is. Dad, Killian, go through the woods on the way home, try and track him." Emma said, and turned to Regina. "Regina, can you take care of Henry? Maybe get my mom and go get dinner or something?"

"You can't stay here by yourself, Swan." Killian shook his head.

"Hook's got a point." David added. "He should stay and be your lookout."

"No, you need as many eyes looking as possible." Regina shook her head. "I'll put up a proximity spell, if she tries to come back, you'll hear an alarm and you can leave."

Emma nodded and they went their separate ways.

By the time Killian and David made it back to town, the sun had gone down. Emma had checked in with her father about thirty minutes ago saying she was almost done and was just going to go get Henry and go straight to bed after that. Killian had been unusually quite on their ride back in David's truck, his thoughts were solely on the Dark One and the witch.

"Go to the Rabbit Hole, blow off some steam." David practically ordered Killian as they made their way back towards Granny's.

"What?" Killian looked at the other man, confused.

"You haven't said a word since we left the farmhouse, other than to answer my questions with as few words as possible." David pointed out. "This can't be easy for you. So go, have a drink, do…whatever it is you do, and be ready to meet at Granny's at 6:30 AM."

Killian liked the local bar. It was rather like a tavern, albeit this world's "modern" version of one. The Rabbit Hole had a nice crowd, not so large that it was difficult to order a drink, but large enough to produce a general buzz of activity. Killian spotted Robin sitting alone at the bar. He seemed like a good fellow the other day, and he was clearly still dealing with the whole friend turning into a flying monkey incident.

"Fancy some company, mate?" He asked, sitting down next the the man in lincoln green and summoning the bartender. "Rum."

"Captain." Robin just nodded. "Is Storybrooke always like this?"

"What, crazy monster attacks and witches and curses?" Killian asked. "Aye, at least that's been my experience."

Robin looked at him for a moment. "You weren't here during the first curse."

It wasn't a question. "Perceptive." Killian nodded. "I managed to escape the curse by…well, essentially being frozen in time for 28 years until Emma broke it."

"Sounds like what happened to us." Robin nodded.

"I think Regina missed a lot more people than she realized with that first curse." He smiled and sipped his rum. "When I made my way here the first time there was a giant and two imbeciles trying to destroy the town, to destroy all magic. Then, of course, there was the great evil himself, Pan."

"And now?"

"Now the bloody wicked witch." Killian shrugged and took another swig.

"Lovely." Robin sighed. "So…you're Captain Hook, yes?"

"That is my moniker." Killian nodded.

"But…Sheriff Swan called you something else."

"Aye." Killian smiled and held out a hand. "Killian Jones, at your service."

"Robin of Locksley." Robin shook his hand. "So tell me, how exactly does a pirate get so close to the law?"

"That…is a very long story, mate. Let's just say that we found a common enemy in Pan and grew to…tolerate, even like, each other." Killian explained. "I've saved the Savior enough to have earned their trust. And in this town, that's a good thing to have."

"I could see how it would be." Robin nodded.

"Well, if no one's said it yet, welcome to Storybrooke." Killian smiled and they clinked glasses.

"Thanks." Robin sighed, downing his drink. "I should be getting back. One of the boys is watching Roland."

"Your lad?"

"Yeah. His mother died before the first curse. But the men've been great helping me raise him. They kicked me out of camp tonight and told me to find a place to get a drink and relax."

Killian chuckled. "That's about what happened to me. The Prince ordered me here to 'blow off some steam'."

"Well, next time you need to blow off some steam, look me up." Robin smiled. "It's no good to drink alone."

"Aye." Killian nodded. "Just one question before you go. How did you ever give that man the nickname 'Little John'?"

Robin burst out laughing and launched into the story of Little John. Nearly three hours later, he and Killian were still sitting there, laughing, drinking and telling stories. Though their reality was still somber and concerning, in those few hours, Killian was enjoyed the escape from the problems of the Dark One and the witch. That ended when the arrival of the dwarves reminded Killian of his early morning, which in turn reminded Robin of his desire to get back to his camp.

"I'll be in touch, mate." Robin waved as he and Killian went their separate ways.

"Aye, see that you are!" Killian replied. It had been a long time since he had enjoyed himself so much without the presence of a lady. His crew he could drink with and such but never as equals. And the Prince sort of hated him and only grudgingly liked him occasionally, which made that relationship tense at best. Perhaps in Robin, he'd found an actual friend. Robin understood, he may be a noble thief but he was still a thief. But he was also a hero. Perhaps Robin could teach him how to walk the fine line between Killian Jones and Captain Hook without falling completely to the darkness again.


	21. Chapter 21

AN: This is a look inside the head of everyone's favorite Pirate/Hero Killian Jones. I love how his character has grown over the last two years and was inspired to delve deeper into his transition from villain to hero. As always, here are few friendly reminders: words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, as always, I own nothing.

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 21**

The next morning, Emma was the last to arrive at Granny's. _She must have gone back to the farmhouse_ , Killian thought _because it's the appointed time, and the Charmings (Nolans? Royals? who bloody knew?) and Regina were already present and waiting_. Finally, Emma arrived, along with a warning from Granny that they had a limited time for their meeting before she opened the doors.

" **Is there any sign of our quarry**?" Killian asked, not having heard from her since they all split up yesterday.

The news was not good. " **I went all over that farmhouse and the land around it... nothing.** " Emma shook her head.

" **Well, now that the sun's up, we should hit every place Gold might go... his house, shop, his cabin**." The Prince suggested.

" **Cause dead men love vacation homes**." Emma quipped, but she was clearly still disturbed at the prospect of Rumplestiltskin possibly being alive. " **Can someone explain to me how this is even possible? We all saw Gold. He…** "

" **Disappeared into nothingness**." Snow finished for her daughter, clearly thinking along the same lines. " **I know**."

The discussion brought back a conversation with Baelfire right after the curse swept them back to the Enchanted Forest. _Had Bae truly succeeded?_ " **I might have an inkling**." Killian said. " **When we went back to the Enchanted Forest, Neal was talking about the possibility of getting his father back**."

The Prince was intrigued. " **What? How?** "

 _I don't know all the particulars, and I don't think I want to know_. Killian thought, and said " **He didn't know how. He just…** " _Might as well admit this part, no matter how jealous it makes you, mate_. He told himself. " **He missed his family. And he was desperate to find a way to return to this world. He believed that bringing his father back was the key**."

" **Well, if that was his plan, then obviously something went wrong, because while Gold might be alive and kicking, Neal is…** " Emma trailed off, trying to find the words. Killian watched her emotions flit across her face, trying to stem the thoughts of jealousy and sadness in himself.

She continued. " **he's... we don't know what he is. We don't even know if he made it back to Storybrooke. No one's seen him since this new curse.** " Emma was frustrated, to be sure, but there wasn't that distinctive despair of someone missing their true love in her voice.

" **He's out there somewhere**." David said.

Regina broke in before the conversation could derail completely. " **With all due respect, we have bigger issues right now than who brought Gold back**."

 _Thank you, your Majesty_. Killian thought. He felt guilty for not wanting to find Bae but at the same time, they did have bigger fish to fry.

" **The fact that he was in the Wicked Witch's basement, for one. I want to know what the hell she was cooking up with him**." Regina said.

" **Well, the best way to find that out would be to ask Gold, right?** " Snow asked.

David nodded, picking up his wife's train of thought. " **He could tell us who the witch is... maybe how to track her down**."

Regina was clearly done sitting and talking. " **I'm gonna head back to that farmhouse. It's possible this witch left behind some trace of potion or a special ingredient**."

" **Have at it. Just be careful**." Emma warned.

A year, well, really, nearly two years ago, if someone had told Killian that the Savior would be telling the Evil Queen to be careful…he'd have laughed at their face and asked what they were drinking.

" **Well, she's the one who needs to be careful. She invaded my space. When I return the favor, I'm not pulling any punches**." Regina's voice had a definite edge to it, which made Killian feel better. He understood the call of revenge, and though he'd let his with the crocodile go, this one gave him hope that Regina would succeed. Revenge didn't make her angry or careless, it made her determined.

"We need to tell Belle." Snow pointed out after Regina had left. "She deserves to know."

"And she's probably the first person he'd go to." Emma nodded, downing the rest of her coffee quickly. "Let's go. Thanks Granny."

They walked into Gold's shop, and Killian immediately hated it. He stole things as a pirate, yes, and even put a few things on display from his more difficult enemies, but Gold's shop was like a collection of trophies gathered defeating and destroying the innocent. Killian could not figure out how Belle could ever love the man, except…perhaps Belle loved the _man_ , not the Dark One. And as a man, Rumplelstiltskin had grown from a coward to a hero a year ago when he overcame the darkness and put and end to his menacing father, Peter Pan. He did it to save his son and love. He sacrificed his life for the good of all. That wasn't the Dark One, the Dark One was selfish and cruel and craved power above all things. That had to be difficult for Belle, loving the man who was also the Dark One.

Belle had gone through the same questions they had when they first learned he was alive. But she caught on quickly to what was happening. Killian realized he had always really underestimated her.

" **Keep your eyes out for him, too**." David warned Belle. " **If he comes into town, he'll…** "

Belle was quick on the uptake. " **He'll come to me. Yeah. I know.** "

A look and an eyebrow raise from Emma told Killian exactly what he needed to do. It wasn't his first choice, he'd rather stay with Emma, but David knew the woods better and she needed someone she trusted to watch over Belle, just in case the Dark One did return to her.

" **I will stay here with you**." Killian sighed, and added " **I'm surprisingly good at research**." Which earned him the faintest smile from Emma.

Belle was incredulous. " **You will stay with me?** "

Killian nodded.

" **He'll protect you if the witch comes**." Emma explained.

" **You do know he tried to kill me**." Belle pointed out.

 _That was two years ago_! " **Well, there were extenuating circumstances**."

" **Twice**." Belle added.

 _What do you expect me to say?_ Killian thought, " **Sorry?** " He gave her his best I really am sorry but I'm also handsome face.

Emma's response was dripping with sarcasm. " **You really know how to charm a girl, don't you?** "

If it weren't such a serious situation, he'd enjoy winding her up a little more. But he had a job to do and a Dark One to find. They needed to get moving. Best to appeal to Belle's sense of fairness and second chances, most of the heroes bought in to all that. " **This will be my way of making it up to you. Hmm?** "

" **Fine**." Belle acquiesced.

That settled, Emma was ready to get moving. " **All right, we should really get out into the woods**."

When Snow moved to join her, David stopped in. " **Hey, maybe you should stay home**."

" **Me? I'm the best tracker here**." Snow argued, and it was true.

" **I know, but we'll manage. Remember what Zelena said... you need your rest**." David said and Emma looked away, not wanting to enter the disagreement.

 _I don't blame you Swan, he's brave soul that tells Snow White she can't do something. And I was right, the midwife is a bit demanding._ Killian thought. But Snow held up her hands and turned, clearly this was one argument she was just going to let go.

Emma brought them back to the problem at hand. " **Belle, thank you for your help. Don't worry. We're gonna find him**."


	22. Chapter 22

AN: As always, here are few friendly reminders: words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, of course, I own nothing. I love this section of season 3b/season 4a, as we see Belle struggling with the reality of loving someone tethered to the Dark One and I think it's going to make for some interesting parallels in Season 5 with Killian and Emma. I also love, love, love Killian's personal growth in 3b/4a. So I'll hopefully be taking this story all the way to season 4a, maybe further. We'll just have to see how it goes. This is a HUGE chapter, I almost broke it up but I really couldn't find a natural place. So enjoy this nice, long read!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 22**

Killian actually enjoyed research. He was a voracious reader and research always seemed a little like a treasure hunt through a book. Despite the company, and the fact that he'd rather be out there with Emma, he felt good knowing he was _doing_ something at least, helping in some way. Belle seemed to be of the same mind, and had almost immediately hopped up on a stool and started looking at the spines of books.

She handed him one, then another. " **Uh, watch the cover on that one**." Belle instructed.

Killian tried to keep the look off his face, but he couldn't stop the incredulity in his tone. " **Dealing with a hook here**." _I should think that's fairly obvious, it's a big shiny sharp thing instead of a hand_. He thought. _She must still be mad at me for -_

His thoughts were interrupted by a noise at the door. He gently set the book down while Belle charged ahead (she had said to be careful). Then he pulled his sword and joined her, watching _someone_ trying to push the door open. Belle was sure it was "Rumple" but Killian was wary. But the person who came crashing through that door was the last person he ever expected to see.

" **Neal**!" Belle exclaimed, checking over the unconscious man.

"Is he alive?" Killian asked.

"Yes." Belle pulled out her phone and called an ambulance. Killian knelt next to Neal and checked his pulse.

 _Baelfire. I assumed bringing back the Dark One had cost you your life, but now I wonder if it wasn't something much worse_. He thought as he looked Neal over. He noticed a strange burn on the man's hand. _That's not good._

"Inform Emma. She will want to know." He said softly.

 _Now is not the time to be jealous. Something is clearly wrong with Baelfire. And if Emma chooses him, you cannot stand in the way_. Killian told himself. _She is not in love with him any more, you know this. Besides, jealousy will not win her heart_.

Again, the hospital staff spoke in rapid, large, unfamiliar words. He did catch "dehydration" and noticed that they had attached Neal to some large water bag.

"What the hell happened?" Neal croaked, finally coming to.

"To you, or in general?" Killian asked.

"All I remember is…watching Emma drive away. Then I was in the woods." Neal shook his head.

"That's a long story."

"Summarize for me."

"Aye." Killian paused, considering how much to tell Bae in this condition. "After we were cursed, we spent a year in the Enchanted Forest. I got word of the new curse, and made my way back to New York to get Emma and Henry so they could come back and break it. Meanwhile the Wicked Witch of the West is turning people into flying monkeys. We also think she was the one who enacted the new curse, which also wiped everybody's memories." He explained.

"Except Hook's." Belle pointed out.

"I didn't get swept up in the new curse, but I was on my own for most of the missing year so it's not much help." Killian countered.

"Whoa, hold it, it's been a _year_?" Neal asked.

Before they could answer, Emma and David ran in. " **Neal, you're here. What happened?** " she asked.

" **I... don't know**." Neal replied. " **I... I remember seeing the yellow bug cross the town line, and next thing I know, I'm running around a forest back in Storybrooke, where, apparently, there's been a whole lot going on**."

 _We need to tell him everything_. Killian thought, and looked at Emma. " **Are you gonna tell him, or shall I?** "

" **Tell me what?** " Neal looked at Killian.

" **Neal, we think your dad's back**." David explained.

" **Back?** " There was no denying the emotion and confusion in Neal's voice. " **I just watched him die. What do you mean he's back?** "

Emma put a steadying hand on him. " **Take it easy**." Then she noticed the strange burn on his hand and picked it up. " **What the hell is that?** "

" **No idea**." Neal said as Emma took a picture of the burn. " **It was there when I woke up**."

" **Belle, can you do some more research**?" Emma asked the other woman.

Belle nodded. " **Yeah, sure. Absolutely.** "

Emma fiddled with her talking phone. " **I'll send you the picture**."

Killian could tell Neal was overwhelmed. Emma was in full on sheriff mode, investigating. Now that he was back, Neal would want to talk to Emma the mother of his child. _And possibly the love of his life_. Killian quashed the thought as soon as he had it. _Jealousy does not become you, mate_.

" **Hey, guys, can we... can we have a minute?** " Neal looked around at him, Belle, and the Prince.

" **Yeah, of course**." David nodded.

Killian was the last person to leave the room, but he noticed Emma had looked at him as soon as Neal made the request. He studied her face for a minute: panic, worry, relief. No obvious signs of love. More likely, Emma was dreading telling Neal about Henry. He looked at her, but made no move to stay in the room and allow her to avoid the conversation. _If Regina and I can't convince you to give the boy back his memories and stay here, maybe his father can_. Killian thought as he followed David and Belle out. _It's time for you to stop running, Swan_.

He wandered the halls of the hospital, knowing that Swan was in for an argument. And for once, he did not have Emma's back on this. Baelfire deserved to have his son know him. He deserved to have his son remember all that he went through on Neverland…

 _I've never even told Bae that I'm glad he's alive._ Killian realized. _All that time…fighting over a woman instead of enjoying each other's company again, this time as equals. And I…we wasted it._

When he returned to the waiting area, Emma was talking to her father.

"Killian, I need you to stay here and keep an eye on Neal." Emma said.

Killian raised an eyebrow. "Where will you be?"

"David and I are going to keep looking for Gold. Neal doesn't need to be running around in the cold looking for his father." Emma explained. "He's sick and we don't know what that thing on his hand means."

 _And you don't want him running in to Henry._ Killian thought, but wisely didn't voice that opinion. "So you wish me to stop him from leaving?"

"Yeah." Emma nodded, handing him a piece of paper. "These are cell phone numbers. You can reach me or David if anything happens."

"And how do I use the numbers?" Killian asked. He knew you used them on a cell phone and telephone, but he did not have the portable talking phone and there didn't appear to be any other talking phones around.

"Ask one of the girls at the desk to borrow the phone and you'll see." Emma answered. "Okay, let us know if anything happens. We'll be in the woods."

With that, Emma and David walked out. _Do I watch him from out here or in the room?_ Killian asked himself.

Then he saw it. A tray of…jello, he believed was the name. It was not blue, like the strange substance he had been given when he broke his ribs, but green. Still, the jiggling mass clearly had medicinal properties if they were intending to serve it to other patients. Killian grabbed a bowl and spoon and decided it would be his peace offering to Bae.

" **Thought you could use some sustenance**." Killian set the bowl down as he walked in. Neal was studying the strange burn on his hand with some consternation.

Neal smirked. " **Nothing like a green blob to get the appetite going**."

Killian smiled. " **Well, I gather it has great medicinal properties**."

" **They put you on babysitting duty, huh**?" Neal asked, and Killian raised his brows. _Watch your words, mate. Captain Hook is not a babysitter._

Neal continued. " **What, no one trusted me to stay here?** "

 _Of course not. I still don't trust you to stay_. " **Emma's simply concerned about you**." Killian explained. " **She thought it best you weren't out in the cold running after your father**."

" **Thank you, by the way.** " Neal said, looking down.

Killian was confused. What, exactly, did Bae have to thank him for? " **For playing nanny**?"

" **For getting Emma the message to come back.** "

" **You would have done the same**." And it was true.

" **Yeah**." Neal nodded. " **What's it feel like to play the hero after being a pirate for so long?** "

Of course Bae would ask the question that Killian had been working through for a few months. " **Unfamiliar**." That was the best, and most honest, answer he could come up with. " **And you... how does it feel to play the villain?** "

Neal looked surprised. " **I'm a villain now?** "

 _You, of all people, know the price of magic, Bae_. " **Well, if you truly had a hand in bringing your father back, I suspect you had to use the darkest of magic and paid an even darker price** ," Killian clarified. " **Though I'm sure you felt the ends justified the means**." Which, if it meant getting back to his family, it did.

Neal looked as though he hadn't even thought of it from that perspective yet. And that thought spurred him into action, ripping out the clear plastic tube with a grunt. " **I should be out there looking for him to set things right with him and my son**." Neal grabbed his coat and Killian moved to block the exit. " **Question is, are you gonna stand in my way**?"

There was a double meaning there, in both the question and the answer. " **I am in your way**." Killian watched as the look on Neal's face hardened. _I am in your way now, mate, and I'm still trying to win Emma. And what's more, she trusts me. Can you say the same?_ Killian thought, but then he remembered his earlier thought. _This is the second time Bae's lived when I thought he was dead_. Killian reached out and pulled Bae into a tight hug.

Neal was confused. " **What the hell are you doing?** "

Memories of the young Baelfire flooded Killian's mind as he hugged Neal. In this moment, there was no jealousy, only the relief of finding him alive. " **Oh, this is long overdue**." He pulled back a bit, keeping a hand on Neal's shoulder. **"Sometimes, when I look at you, all I see is a man. I forget that, beneath it all, you're still that boy... the one I looked after all those years ago**."

Neal nodded. " **Yeah, I haven't forgotten**."

" **We got caught up in so much nonsense over…** " Killian paused. _Be honest, Emma._ " **a woman**."

And suddenly, with that moment of honesty, whatever had broken between them was repaired. " **I need to do this, Killian. You know that, right?** " Neal said.

And it was true. Killian knew that look. He would not deny this man, his _friend_ , the chance to make things right with his family.

He thought for a minute, weighing the consequences. It felt like the right thing to do. " **You have 10 minutes** ," Killian conceded. "a **nd then I alert the others you've gone**."

Neal grinned as he left, " **Thank you**."

Killian watched him go, hoping it was the right choice. True to his word, he gave Neal ten minutes and then went over to the desk and borrowed the telephone.

His first thought was to call Emma, but then he reasoned that David would be more understanding.

"Neal left. He's gone out to look for his father." Killian reported.

"Why didn't you stop him?" David asked.

"It's his father. He should be allowed to search for him if he's able." Killian answered. _You'd have done the same thing in my place, mate_.

"You're right." David sighed. "I'll let Emma know, later. You head to Gold's shop and keep an eye out and help Belle if you can."

"Aye." Killian said and hung up the phone.

Belle was flipping through a book when he walked in. "Did they find him?" She asked.

"No. I'm here to keep an eye out and help you." Killian answered.

Her face fell, but there was less hostility in her tone now. "Look at all those items on the table. See if anything looks like the mark on Neal's hand. It's probably metal."

They worked in silence for a while, until the door bell jingled, and Snow and David walked in. One look at their faces and he knew something had gone terribly, horribly wrong. Snow didn't say a word, she just walked over and hugged Belle.

 _I know that look_. Killian thought, turning to David. _Someone has died. But it's not Emma. So it has to be…_

"Neal's gone." David said quietly.

Killian closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his emotions. They'd only just found him, only just found peace with each other and now… _how could he be gone?_ David put a hand on his shoulder.

Baelfire always turned up, always survived somehow. Killian was beginning to think they had that in common. They were survivors. But the look on the Prince's face said everything. Neal - Bae - was well and truly _gone._

"I…uh…" Killian trailed off.

"Go. You'll be at the Rabbit Hole? Or the docks?" David asked, and Killian was shocked how well the other man had read him. Perhaps there was more of David in Swan than he realized.

"Aye." Killian nodded, his voice tight.


	23. Chapter 23

AN: As always, here are few friendly reminders: words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, of course, I own nothing. Because I absolutely love Killian's personal growth in 3b/4a, I'm going to keep exploring his inner thoughts and actions. I loved how he and Neal made up, only to lose him. And I can only think of one way Killian Jones would deal with the death of a friend...enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 23**

The docks were mercifully quiet and empty. Killian Jones might be a changed man, but that didn't mean he was going to share his private pain with all of Storybrooke. Or that he would bear that pain sober.

"You want to talk, mate?" A voice asked from behind him.

"No, I want to drink." Killian grumbled, not turning around. _I came here to be alone._

Robin sat down next to him, a bottle of rum and two glasses. "I can do that too."

They drank in silence until the bottle was empty. Then Killian used his flask to keep them going. He was grateful, again, that his flask magically refilled itself. He had not been drinking as much since his conscience got hold of him, but the death of Bae meant the only sleep he'd get tonight was when he passed out. So tonight, Killian Jones was going to drink.

"Magic?" Robin asked, motioning to the flask. It was the first words either of them had said since Robin arrived.

"Aye. The most useful kind." Killian nodded.

Both men could hold their drink, so neither were terribly drunk at the moment, nor were they quite sober.

"So…I take it you and Neal were close?"

"He…I took him in, as a boy. At the time, his name was Baelfire. He changed it to Neal when he got to this world. Anyway, Peter Pan's shadow had captured him, but Bae had been dropped in the sea before reaching the island of Neverland. I took him aboard with every intention of turning him over to Pan…but…I couldn't. I took care of him, tried to keep him safe but…in the end, Pan got him anyway." Killian closed his eyes at the memory.

"How'd he end up here?" Robin asked. "How old was he when he arrived?"

"Actually, Bae's almost as old as I am, technically." Killian laughed mirthlessly. "Neverland'll do that to you. But he got off that cursed island. I don't know what happened to him in the interim. I did not see him until about a year before the curse that took us all back to the Enchanted Forest. It was then that I learned he was the father of Emma's boy."

"I knew that. I met him when he was sent back to the Enchanted Forest. He did not seem happy to be going back to Neverland."

"I don't blame him. There is not a more horrible place in all the realms, I wager." Killian took a long sip of his drink. "Bae was the first person in a long time that I cared about. He…he was a friend."

"To lost friends." Robin raised a glass and Killian joined his toast silently. "You know." Robin said, after taking a sip. "It paints you in a nice light, sitting here, grieving over the man who was in love with the same woman as you."

He couldn't help but chuckle at that. Robin hadn't been here long, but he was remarkably well informed. "We settled that." Killian's expression darkened. "I wish that we would have settled it earlier. I should have warned him. I knew not to mess with the Dark One…no one knows more about that infernal creature than I do…but we were both so focused on winning Emma, getting back to Emma…I allowed my emotions to cloud my judgement."

"Love doesn't always lead to us making our finest choices." Robin pointed out. "And you couldn't have known."

"I did. All magic comes with a price. I knew the price for raising the Dark One would be immeasurably high. I did not know it would cost him his life, but I knew messing about with that would lead nowhere good."

"Do you think telling him that would have stopped him?" Robin asked quietly.

"No. He was determined to get back to his son." Killian shook his head. "And to be fair, I never thought bringing back the Dark One was a good idea, regardless of whether or not it got us all back here."

"Did it? You are the only one who seems to remember anything from the last year."

"I was sailing the realms. I have no knowledge of who cast the curse, I'm not even sure who warned me about it, but given that the note was delivered by a bird, I assume it was Snow White. The warning allowed me to escape the curse, then come here with a magic bean to get Emma." Killian sighed. "Now that we know who the bloody witch is, we should be able to catch her."

"The sooner the better." Robin shook his head.

There was something in his voice that told Killian there was a reason Robin wanted this over with. Normally, he wasn't one for gossiping or listening to the troubles of others but he was curious. Having just lost one of the people who saw him as more than just Captain Hook…perhaps it was time to show another that he was more than just a pirate.

"Something you're after, mate?" Killian asked, raising an eyebrow. "Or someone?"

Robin looked at him for a moment, clearly deciding on whether or not to trust Killian with this information. "What do you know about Regina?"

"Oh, her Majesty and I have a long history." Killian smirked. "The Evil Queen? Really?"

"She no longer seems particularly evil." Robin pointed out.

"She's not. She's worked hard to change." Killian sighed. "I can offer a unique perspective on that, at least."

"You don't seem like much of a villain either. And if the Sheriff trusts you, that's good enough for me." Robin shrugged. "Do you think…an outlaw and a Queen?"

"I think that she deserves a little happiness. And perhaps someone who has walked on the wrong side but never become a villain." Killian pointed out. "Do you see someone like Regina being happy with someone like David?"

Robin chucked. "No. Not at all. Perhaps, then, there is a chance. For _both_ of us." He patted Killian's shoulder. "I should be getting back and I know you want some time alone."

"Thank you." Killian said softly. "For the drinks…and the company."

"What are friends for?" Robin smiled and walked off, a tad slowly and only slightly unsteady.

Killian smiled as he took another drink. He would never admit it, but it was nice to have friends.

A few hours later, Killian sat up, suddenly aware that he had fallen asleep on the docks. But what had awoken him?

"Good, you're up." A familiar voice said.

Killian turned to see Neal, wearing a simple white shirt and the light colored pants this world called khakis. He shook his head and rubbed a hand over his eyes, but Neal was still there, the dim light of an overcast sunrise and the sea behind him.

"I'm real, Killian." Neal smirked. "Sort of."

"How?" Killian wondered exactly how much he had to drink last night.

"Relax. I'm not a hallucination or anything. I'm really here. I'm…I guess you could say I'm a ghost but that's not quite it. Let's just say I'm allowed to come back for a few minutes to take care of some unfinished business."

"What sort of unfinished business?"

Neal sat down next to him, where Robin had been. "I need you to take care of them for me, Killian. Henry and Emma."

"Why me?"

"Because you're the one I trust. Look, my father…you know what he is. I've made peace with that, but he's not the man to look after my family. David will but he's got other concerns and he never trusted me. August is a kid, so he's not use. And honestly, you were the person I thought of because I know your word is good."

"Now I know you are a hallucination. I'm a pirate, remember?"

"Yeah, but you do keep your word most of the time. You believe in good form. And I know that you'd keep your word to me." Neal shrugged. "Besides, you're not really a pirate anymore. Pirates require a ship and a certain disregard for others. You have neither. So, you ever gonna tell her?"

"That I traded the _Jolly Roger_ to get back to this realm? Not unless she asks." Killian shook his head. "I said I would win her heart without tricks. It'd be bad form to make Emma think she owes me anything."

"And you really wonder why I'm asking you to take care of them?" Neal asked. "You're a good man, Killian. Well, you're becoming a good man."

"You have my word of honor, for whatever that is worth, that I will take care of them both." Killian nodded.

Neal patted his shoulder. "That's worth a lot, Killian." He smiled. "Now, I, uh, gotta go. But I'll be watching."

"Is that a threat?" Killian raised an eyebrow, smiling.

"Nah. A promise. Keep it up, Killian. Go find Tallahassee." Neal smiled and then vanished.

Killian Jones woke up, blinking his eyes at the light. It was an overcast morning, appropriate, considering what was happening today. He had a slight headache, no surprise given the amount of rum he drank last night. He even vaguely remembered dreaming of Neal…what on earth was Tallahassee? He shook his head, it had to have been a dream.

"But just in case…" He looked up at the sky. "I'll look after them, my friend."


	24. Chapter 24

AN: Sorry for the delay in posting! I was house-sitting and didn't bring my computer. Lame excuse, I know. But the chapters will come faster now. As always, here are few friendly reminders: words in **bold** are lines from the show, words in _italics_ indicate thoughts (or dreams), and, of course, I own nothing. Because I absolutely love Killian's personal growth in 3b/4a, I'm going to keep exploring his inner thoughts and actions. I loved how he and Neal made up, only to lose him. And I can only think of one way Killian Jones would deal with the death of a friend...enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 24**

The funeral was a somber affair. He stood next to Emma and Henry, watching them closely and trying to figure out how to best console them. If Henry had his memories…it would have been so much easier.

Still, he could tell him about Bae as a boy…leaving out a lot of the magical nonsense. Now to convince Emma that he could do that. He knew she trusted him with Henry, but would she trust him to tell Henry about Neal?

Like all good funerals, the next step was to go somewhere and eat and drink. Granny pulled out the good stuff, and the mourners talked quietly and drank. Except Emma. Emma was throwing darts at the dart board like she was trying to make them go through the wall. Or Zelena's skull.

Killian stepped up next to her. " **Perhaps I should paint a bull's eye on the Wicked Witch's back.** "

Emma was seething. " **She'll get more than a dart when I find her.** "

 _I know where this goes, love, and you don't want to go there. Anger and vengeance aren't going to bring Bae back and they aren't going to do you any good_. Killian knew he had to try and calm her down. " **I know you're hurting, Swan, but there are better ways to grieve Baelfire's death than letting anger overcome you**."

" **Let me guess—rum?** " She turned to look at him, not sure what to make of Captain Hook telling her to lay off the vengeance.

Killian pulled out his flask. " **Never hurts**." That's how he'd dealt with a great deal of grief last night.

" **I'll stick with anger. At least, until I've dealt with Zelena**." Emma replied.

Killian knew he had to get through to her, and decided to remind her that he spent 300 years trying to get his revenge and it had done him no good. " **Take it from me: vengeance isn't the thing that's gonna make you feel better**."

" **It'll make this town safer. Besides, I promised Henry I'd find the person responsible for his father's death**." Emma turned and looked a Henry for a moment before turning back to him. " **It's really all I can do for him right now**."

 _And now we get to real issue. She wants to make Henry feel better, but the boy doesn't even know who his father really was._ " **That can't be true. Have you tried talking to the boy**?" He suggested.

" **As far as he is concerned, I haven't seen Neal since he left me in jail. So anything I'd tell him about his dad being a hero sounds like I'm making that up just to get him to feel better**." Emma explained.

" **Perhaps I can talk to him**." Killian said, and was awarded with a look of surprise.

" **About what?** " She asked. " **Leather conditioner and eyeliner?** "

 _That was low_. Killian thought, but then reminded himself that she was lashing out because she was grieving and angry and she didn't know what to do. And from her expression, he knew she regretted the callous remark. " **I knew Bae as a boy.** " He reminded her. " **Perhaps Henry'd like to hear what his father was like when he was his age**."

The look on Emma's face was pure, confused awe. " **You'd really do that?** "

 _Oh Emma, plenty of people in this town would love to help you if you would only let them. Myself and your parents being chief among them_. " **Aye. Could help the boy make peace with his father's passing. And me.** " Killian added that last bit to test the waters. He knew now that Emma was well and truly over Neal, and having her stand here and confide in him, to let him in to what was going on in her life, was a big step for her. He knew from her responses to their closeness that she was attracted to him, _who wouldn't be?_ , but now he had hope that she wanted more. And what was it the royals were always saying? _Happiness begins with hope_.

" **Be careful**." Emma warned, not even hesitating to put Henry in his care. " **Zelena's still out there**."

He had promised Neal, now he was promising the same to Emma. " **I assure you, nothing will happen to the boy while he's in my charge**."

Killian took the boy down by the water, with the _Jolly_ gone, he had to be creative with his selection, but he spotted a boat immediately that seemed to be perfect.

" **Here. Now that'll do**." He motioned at the boat he intended to steal - technically, borrow as he was going to return it.

" **Another boat**?" Henry asked and there was something in his tone that made Killian pause.

" **You don't like the sea**?" He inquired.

The boy shrugged. " **No, it's not that. It's just my mom always seems to put me off to friends that have boats when she's working on a case**."

Killian tucked that little nugget away for future. So even when she didn't have her memory, Emma seemed drawn to the sea, and hopefully, to him. But that wasn't the point of today. Today was about Henry. "Y **our mother didn't put you off to me. I wanted to bring you here**."

" **Why**?" Henry asked.

" **You might not believe this, but your father and I were mates long before he met your mother.** " Killian smiled.

" **Really? You knew my dad?** " Henry's curiosity was piqued. " **What was he like?** "

 _More like you than I realized. A good man. A hero._ " **Hop on board and you'll find out**."

The two had a great deal of fun sailing, Killian taught Henry everything that he could think of. They sailed until dusk, and then Killian had Henry tying knots from a book - one of the few that Killian had borrowed (still rather illegally) from the Storybrooke library. Henry had been plenty distracted on the water, asking questions about the boat and sailing and generally enjoying himself. He even enjoyed tying knots, but soon tired of that and finally asked Killian directly about his father.

Killian was proud of himself, he managed to be truthful and only slipped up once when he talked about knowing Bae as a boy. Which, of course, prompted the question about his age. _What would Henry do if he knew how old I really am?_ That's for Emma to deal with, and maybe if he slipped up more that would force the issue with Emma, but then she'd not be too happy with him.

Killian sighed as he tried to explain to the boy why Emma was doing all the things she was doing. Her son had enough of the Swan lie detector to know that she was hiding something from him. " **Your mother isn't keeping things from you because she doesn't want you to know the truth**."

" **I know she's doing it to protect me**." Henry agreed, but added, " **But how am I supposed to feel anything about him being gone if I don't know what he was like when he was here**?"

 _It's a good question, really_ , Killian thought. " **Fair enough, mate. What I haven't told you is why I taught your father to sail. Because he'd just lost his father. I thought the sea would help ease his sorrow.** "

This was news to Henry. " **Wait. He lost his dad, too?** "

" **Aye. To something dark and evil**." Killian felt a slight shudder at the thought of Pan - who he didn't think could get fouler, yet somehow knowing the whole history of the evil imp made him worse. " **When he wasn't much older than you**." _Well, technically speaking anyway._

" **Really?** "

Killian nodded. " **Indeed. You see, you might not think you know much about your father but you have more in common with him than you realize**." _And you would realize so much more if your mother wasn't stubbornly trying to hold on to her fantasy of a "normal" life_.


	25. Chapter 25

AN: See? I told you it will be quicker. A few friendly reminders: **bold** words belong to the show and are not mine. _Italics_ are thoughts. Enjoy this little jaunt inside the head of our favorite pirate. We're getting to the more hero than villain part now, so exciting. I don't know if I'll do any Dark Swan era thoughts...we'll see. As always, I own nothing. Enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 25**

Killian was almost sad to drop Henry off at his and Emma's room at Granny's.

" **Thanks, Killian**." Henry said walking towards his mother. " **Maybe we can go out on your boat again sometime**."

Killian's grin was genuine. " **Anytime, lad**."

He wisely waited until Henry was in the room before asking Emma about the goings on with the Wicked Witch. " **How did the Queen fare against the Witch?** "

" **She survived**." Emma's answer was unsatisfying. " **But the rest is definitely more than a doorway conversation.** "

Killian nodded his agreement. _Perhaps a night cap?_ He thought, but her expression didn't bode well for continuing the conversation much further that night.

" **Thanks for taking him**." Emma said, and there was still the slight, almost undetectable, edge of awed gratitude in her voice. Like she was still surprised that he wanted to spend time with Henry.

Killian figured this might be a good time to press her about Henry a little more. Surely she had to realize that this whole fantasy of a normal life in New York was just that - a fantasy. The boy needed to remember his father for the man he really was, he needed to know his family. And _both_ of them needed to stay in Storybrooke, where they belonged. " **There's more Bae in your boy than you realize**." _Maybe she'll listen to me this time_ , Killian thought, and took his chances adding, " **He needs to know about his father, Emma. You can't just take him back to New York when this is over and pretend like none of this is real**."

He knew when she'd turned her head that she wasn't going to listen to him, at least not tonight. So when her " **Thanks again** " sounded more like a dismissal, he wasn't overly shocked. This is what Emma did. She ran. She pushed people away. It was the lost girl in her that she just couldn't quite shake.

The next morning, Killian found himself waiting at the docks after receiving a message from Smee. He'd seen almost nothing of his crew since returning to Storybrooke, because, to be honest he felt like they were a relic from another life. Speaking with Smee demanded that he adopt the Captain Hook persona more than he had in a while, but he slipped into it with an ease that scared him a bit.

" **It's about time, Mr. Smee. You know how much I abhor waiting**." Killian heard the disdain dripping from his tone and almost smirked at how like his old self he sounded. " **What is it that's so urgent?** "

" **It's just, um, me and the men were talking about how we haven't seen much of you since we all ended up back here.** " Smee stammered.

" **Is there a point to that rather odd observation**?" Killian asked, though he knew the answer. Smee was going to ask him about the _Jolly_. The corpulent former rat didn't need to know he traded the ship for Emma, and he had absolutely no intention of leaving Storybrooke while Emma was in residence. He tried to explain it, but Smee was not getting the idea.

" **Mr. Smee, I've tried letting you down easy. Now let me be more direct**." Killian said, his voice hard. " **I have no intention of leaving this town.** "

Smee was nothing if not persistent. " **Captain, I agree with you This place has its bright spots. I have never tried anything quite like frozen yogurt before. But the Wicked Witch is here. And with that sort of danger, what possible reason do you have to stay?** "

 _So that's why you want to leave, you're afraid_. If Killian had been less irritated, he might have been more understanding. But Killian was annoyed with the smaller man. He turned slightly when he heard footfalls and saw Emma and Henry making their way towards him. Killian stepped towards Smee and let the other man hear the dangerous edge that came from anyone suggesting he leave Emma. " **My reasons are my own. Question them again at your peril.** "

And with that, the rat was gone.

He heard Emma walk up behind him. " **Didn't he used to be a rat?** "

" **Aye. In many ways, he still is.** " Killian felt his irritation leave him as he turned to face Emma Swan. " **To what do I owe the pleasure, Swan?** "

 **"** **Um... I was wondering if you could take care of Henry again**." She asked.

Killian smirked and moved closer to her. " **If you want to get close to me, you just need to ask. There's no need to use the lad as an excuse**."

" **Why am I not surprised you're making this about you?** " Emma sighed. This must be serious if his antics didn't even earn him an eyeroll. " **I need your help, 'cause Regina needs to train me in magic. We think together, we might be able to defeat the Wicked Witch.** "

 _About bloody time. Someone is finally using their head in this town_. " **That's the first reasonable plan I've heard since this all began**." Killian said. " **Magic is a part of you, Swan. Don't forget... I was there when Cora tried to steal your heart."**

Killian remembered how the pure shot of power had literally blown Cora back. And he had felt a warm sensation as the light passed over him. Emma Swan was incredibly powerful, and if she'd embrace it, she could do anything. Even the Dark One acknowledged that nothing is more powerful than true love. And he knew from that day that her power was as pure and light as true love itself. **"I saw the power inside of you. It's about time you embraced it. It's what makes you the Savior.** " _It's one of the many reasons why you belong here_.

" **I'm not embracing anything**." Emma's answer was quick. " **I need to learn magic to defeat Zelena and make sure everyone here is safe. After that, I'm done**."

" **Done with what, exactly**?" Killian asked. He felt that he knew the answer but he needed to ask anyway. He needed to know the extent of what she was done with.

Emma looked over at her son before continuing. " **He doesn't belong here... not anymore. He belongs in the real world, in New York, and the life that he remembers. It was good. And it didn't involve vile villains**."

 _Stop using the boy as an excuse, Swan_. " **What about the life you remember?** " Killian couldn't quite keep the emotion out of his voice. " **You can't just pretend like this never happened. Trust me.** " _If you listen to nothing else I say, hear this, Emma. It's painfully won advice_. " **I spent the last year trying to do just that…return to the person I used to be... and it didn't work.** "

" **Why? What happened over the last year that you're not telling me?** " Emma's lie detector had been up about what happened to him during the missing year since that day in the woods and she clearly hadn't let it drop yet.

" **It matters not. Just take it from me just this once**." Killian was almost begging, but if ever Emma needed to hear something it was what he had to say. " **No matter how much you wish you could go back to your old life... you can't.** "

 _It was a year of torture for me, Swan, and I was never once truly happy. Not until I saw you in New York._ Killian thought. _I am not the man I was, just as you cannot go back to being the woman in New York who knew nothing about magic or Storybrooke or wicked witches and evil queens_.

Emma simply sighed and shifted gears, telling Henry goodbye and leaving to go meet with Regina. Killian smiled at Henry, who seemed pleased to be left with him.

"What do you say to lunch? My treat?" Killian asked.

"I could go for a grilled cheese and fries." Henry nodded. "Is Granny's grilled cheese any good?"

"Let's find out." Killian smiled and they walked off together.


	26. Chapter 26

AN: Wow. 26 chapters. This one is a long one. A few friendly reminders: **bold** words belong to the show and are not mine. _Italics_ are thoughts. Enjoy this little jaunt inside the head of our favorite pirate. We're getting to the more hero than villain part now, so exciting. I don't know if I'll do any Dark Swan era thoughts...we'll see. As always, I own nothing. Enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 26**

Granny's was busy at first, but as he and Henry made their way through lunch at a leisurely pace, it started to thin out. Killian pulled out his dice and decided to play Henry for the french fries, finally revealing that the dice were, in fact, loaded, which is how he always won. Henry pointed out that it was cheating, which Killian knew, but cheating a bit at dice to get french fries? Hardly a moral crisis. All the personal growth aside, Killian was _still_ a pirate.

The door bell tinkled, signaling a new customer, but when Killian looked up he saw the Prince with a serious look on his face. He handed the dice to Henry so he could pact and stood, wondering what was wrong now.

" **Uh Hook, this is a friend of ours…** " The prince motioned at the door and the last person Killian ever expected to see stepped through. " **Ariel**."

Killian vaguely heard the Prince explain that Ariel was looking for someone, but all Killian could think about was the last time he'd seen Ariel. how he had betrayed her and sacrificed her Prince's life for the _Jolly Roger_. When he didn't think about it, the guilt didn't bother him, but seeing Ariel brought it roaring back. He schooled his features to a more neutral expression, but every word coming out of the little mermaid's mouth made him feel worse and worse. _Perhaps this is fate punishing me for teaching Henry to cheat at dice…_

" **He's from a maritime kingdom, and he loved to sail. Perhaps... you came across him on the high seas? His name's Prince Eric**." Ariel explained.

Killian briefly thought of confessing exactly what had happened the last time he had seen Ariel, but the Royals would skewer him on the spot for what he did. And then there would be questions about the _Jolly Roger._ Questions that Killian was not ready to answer. " **Sorry, lass. I wish I could help, but I've never heard of him**." The look on Ariel's face after he said that made his stomach twist up in knots. Lying had only made things worse, life was much easier when he didn't feel guilty about the bad things he'd done.

 _Then tell the truth_. His conscience suggested.

 _Not bloody likely_. Killian retorted.

" **Come on. Think hard, Hook**." David encouraged him. " **Are you sure you can't remember anything that can be useful?** "

" **My apologies, mate, but if I'd run across a prince during my adventure, I think I'd remember it**." Killian replied. _Honestly, I'm not the one who lost my memories_.

There were tears forming in the little mermaid's eyes, " **I just... I don't understand. How could he vanish without a trace**?"

" **That's it.** " Snow said. " **Maybe he didn't**."

Snow explained about the things that were brought over during the curse sometimes ended up in Gold's shop. This was news to Killian, he might find a few things there he needed. But he doubted if there would be anything they could use to locate the lost prince. And their plan provided him with the perfect escape route.

" **Sounds like a plan**." Killian moved to head back over to where Henry sat. " **Best of luck with that**."

" **Oh, wait, no.** " Snow called after him. " **You should come with us. You might remember something that we won't... or can't. You'd be far more helpful than us**."

 _No, I need to not think about this because I can not stand the guilt_. But he still had Henry, maybe that could be his escape. " **Well, someone has to keep an eye on the boy**." Killian tried again.

David was way too quick with his answer. " **Well, Mary Margaret and I can take over**."

Killian knew there was only one way to get out of this now. Perhaps he could reason with David. " **Could we... have a talk for a moment?** "

" **What is it?** " David asked once they were out of hearing range of the ladies.

" **You sure this is such a good idea, mate?** " Killian asked, " **Let's be honest... there's only one obvious explanation why the little mermaid here can't find her prince. He's dead. There's no reason to ply her with false hope**." _Come on Dave, don't torment the poor girl. Just let it go, let her grieve, and let me move on_.

" **In my experience, there's no such thing. You just have to believe**." David patted him on the arm. " **Now go. Good luck**."

 _Bloody hero types_. Killian thought as he made his way back over to Ariel and Snow.

Belle greeted Ariel warmly as they walked in to the pawn shop. What is it with all these Princesses being friends? Well, I guess Snow White is technically a Queen but still…Killian returned his focus to the task at hand. Belle was no longer openly hostile to him, and treated him with civil indifference. The ladies were looking around the front, so Killian headed into the back. Looking over to his right, he say his spyglass.

" **I've been wondering where you went**." Killian chuckled, grabbing the spyglass and opening it. Using the spyglass he surveyed the items in the room.

None of them looked familiar, until his eye landed on a familiar looking cloak fastener. One with Ursula on it. Attached to a cloak that he ripped traipsing through the forest with Ariel. This was most certainly fate's revenge for teaching Henry to cheat. Before he could even decide what to do with the cloak, the ladies walked in.

" **That's Eric's**." Ariel said. "How did you know that was his?"

" **I, uh…** " Killian quickly thought of a reason why he would recognize the cloak. " **I wasn't sure. I saw the sea-creature clasp and remembered he was from a maritime kingdom**."

" **He is.** " There was no containing Ariel's excitement. " **He was. And now he's here.** "

They followed the cloak through the town, but as they drew closer and closer to the docks, Killian knew this wasn't going to end well. And it was all his fault. When the cloak fell in the water and then was sucked in, Killian knew. Eric was dead, and he'd as good as killed him. So when Ariel buried her face in his shoulder and cried, Killian felt his guilt like a knife in the stomach. How could he have been so selfish? Maybe that idiot Greg had been right. Maybe villains _don't_ get happy endings. Maybe they just can't help but screw it up, and when they're finally trying to be good, their actions, and the consequences of those actions, catch up to them. And if he'd told the truth from the beginning, they would still be here and he would still feel guilty, but perhaps it would not feel as though someone were twisting a knife around his insides.

Ariel finally calmed down enough to go and watch the sunset. Killian didn't say anything, he felt he didn't have the right to say a word. This was all his fault.

" **I saved Eric from the sea once before**." Ariel remarked after a while, her voice thick with emption. " **I just never thought that I would lose him to it in the end**."

There was nothing he could say to make her feel better, but Killian tried anyway. " **A sailor couldn't hope for a better resting place**."

" **Thank you.** " Ariel said.

Killian felt like the worst person in all the realms receiving thanks from a woman who should hate him, if she only knew. " **I didn't do anything**."

" **You found Eric's cloak. I would have never stopped looking for him. At least now I know that our story's over**." Ariel sighed. " **I just wish I knew how it ended**."

She put a hand on his arm and looked up at him. " **You're more than a pirate, Hook. You have a true heart. I'll always be grateful that you tried to help me**."

Killian didn't know what to say. If he didn't know any better, he would think that Ariel was trying to make him feel horrible about what he'd done. He was already haunted by his actions, now he would be forever haunted by her anguish and her undeserved gratitude.

 _Ariel doesn't deserve this. She deserves the bloody truth._ Killian thought, taking one last look at the sea to steal himself for the coming conversation. It wasn't going to be easy, and admitting it would hurt like hell, but it was the right thing to do.

He raced after her, calling her name as he hurried down the ramp after her. " **Ariel! Wait!** "

" **What is it**?" She turned to look at him.

" **I have a confession. I haven't been entirely truthful with you... with myself.** " Killian began, unsure of how to do this, but determined to do it. " **You and I met before. Our paths crossed during the missing year**."

Ariel was surprised and confused. " **What?** "

Killian sighed. "E **ric had been kidnapped by the pirate Black Beard. You asked me to find him**."

" **I... I don't understand.** " She said, then her voice took on an accusatory tone. "Why didn't you say anything?"

" **Because I was too ashamed.** " As soon as he said those words, the feelings of shame and sorrow broke through the dam of self control and Killian's voice cracked with emotion. "I **sacrificed saving your prince for my ship. I am so sorry, Ariel**."

Ariel slapped him. " **You're a coward! And a monster! You let a man die for your ship?! What kind of person does that?** "

" **The kind who's empty** ," He explained. His pain did not excuse him, but she deserved to know why he did it. " **who believes that a ship can fill a void left by a broken heart**."

" **And that makes it okay?!** " Ariel demanded.

" **No, it doesn't. I would give anything to take it back, to make things right.** " Killian replied, wishing he could do something, anything to make this better.

" **Anything?** "

" **Yes... anything**." _My bloody life if you need it._

" **How am I supposed to trust a man who no longer believes in love?** " Ariel asked.

" **I still do.** " He answered.

" **Then swear to me on it. This woman that broke your heart... do you still love her?** " Her voice was a mixture of anger and sorrow.

Killian looked down and admitted it out loud for the first time. " **Yes**."

" **Then swear to me on her name**."

" **I swear on Emma Swan**." He said.

Ariel smirked and her whole attitude changed. " **Thank you, Captain. That's exactly what I needed to hear.** " She flicked her hand at him and he felt...something on his lips.

Killian was still reeling from the guilt and emotions of the conversation, this sudden change and whatever she'd done had him off-balance. " **What the hell?** " Whatever had just happened, it wasn't good, Killian knew dark magic when he felt it. When he looked up, Ariel changed in a puff of green smoke into the wicked witch herself. " **Zelena? It was you**."

Then it dawned on him, if Zelena was here, something had happened to the little mermaid. " **Where's Ariel?** " He pulled his sword, but Zelena quickly magicked it away.

" **Relax. She was never really here**." Zelena said, and Killian felt his stomach drop. It had been Zelena the whole time? " **After she left you on your beloved ship, she actually found where Black Beard had been keeping her prince**."

" **She found him**?" Killian asked. " **How do you know that?** "

" **My spies are always circling, Captain, through every realm... always circling. She found him on Hangman's Island, which was outside the force of the curse. They've been living happily ever after ever since**." Zelena was telling the story in such a way that it sounded almost like she was gloating. " **Don't you just love a good twist?** "

Killian needed to figure out exactly what was going on here and why Zelena had done this. It seemed a bit of an odd move on the witch's part. " **I don't understand. Why would you pretend to be her?** "

" **To corrupt your love**." The witch answered, and went on. " **As I said earlier, I've known about your dirty little secret for quite some time... seen the guilt on your face over the decision you made that day. I knew it haunted you. And I knew I could use it.** "

" **Use it for what?** " He asked, almost afraid of what the answer would be.

" **When you invoked the name of your love in a selfish plea for redemption, I was able to curse you... more specifically, your kiss**." Zelena explained. " **See, the next time your lips touch Emma Swan's, all of her magic will be taken. Everything that makes her special, that makes her powerful, that makes her a threat will be gone**."

 _You will never make me hurt Emma._ Killian's resolve hardened. He would not let the witch best him. " **I won't do it. I'll tell her. And she'll defeat you**."

" **Then I'll send The Dark One to kill her before you can**."

 _If you could do that, Emma'd be dead already._ " **No, you won't. If you could have killed her, you would have**." Killian called the witch's bluff. " **You need her power removed. It's why you didn't kill her when she came to the town. It's why you had a monkey look after her in New York instead of killing her. For some reason... you can't**." The look on Zelena's face confirmed his hunch. She couldn't hurt Emma. It was the one ray of hope in an otherwise horrendous day.

Zelena seemed to have thought of that. " **It no longer matters, because you're going to remove her powers. I may not be able to hurt Emma, but I can hurt those around her... her parents, her friends... her child.** "

" **Do not go near them**." Killian's voice was even, but had a dangerous warning in the tone. No one messed with Emma _or_ Henry. Not on his watch.

" **Oh, yes. You've become quite fond of the boy, haven't you?** " Zelena laughed, clearly unconcerned. " **I will enjoy turning him into a monkey's breakfast**."

 _Like hell you will. You'll touch that boy over my rotting corpse._ " **I'll stop you.** "

" **No, you won't.** " She looked down at his hook. " **That pointy little hook of yours can scratch a mere mortal, but me?** " Zelena laughed. " **You're out of your depth, pirate. The choice is yours. Kiss Emma and remove her powers or everyone she loves dies**."

With that, Zelena disappeared in a column of green smoke. Killian knew he needed to tell someone. Then it dawned on him. The Royals. Charmings. Nolans. Whatever you wanted to call them. They wouldn't be happy with him but they would be more focused on keeping their daughter and grandson safe. The night had been too much of an emotional roller coaster for Killian Jones, and he needed someone to talk to.


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: Thanks for sticking with me folks. As the holidays grow closer, there might be a bit longer delay in the updating but I'm going to do my best. This part in the show made me happy/sad. It was not cool for there to be a huge setback on the Captain Swan front, however, I think this is where Killian really turns things around 100% and gives up all traces of being a villain. He still makes mistakes, of course, but he's finally learning from them. Remember, words from the show (aka, words I don't own) are in **bold**. Thoughts are in _italics._ Enjoy chapter 27! I'm going to take this at least 3 or 4 more, up until the end of Season 3. Then we'll see how it goes from there.

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 27**

By the time he'd made it to the Charming's apartment, Killian had resolved to tell them everything, starting with his betrayal of Ariel in the Enchanted Forest and ending with the encounter with Zelena.

Upon knocking, the door opened and Killian's plans went up in smoke. Apparently, it was his night to be off-balance. " **Swan? I didn't expect to see you here.** " It was the first time in his life he was not entirely happy to see Emma. He couldn't tell Emma. She'd hate him and Zelena would go after the Charmings and Henry.

" **What do you mean? Where's Henry? Is everything all right?** " Emma's tone was concerned.

" **He's fine. He's with his grandparents**." Killian assured her. " **I thought they might be back here**."

" **We haven't seen them**." Emma eyed him curiously, she knew something was going on. " **If you're not with Henry, what have you been doing all day?** "

" **I was enlisted to help Ariel find her lost prince.** " Killian answered simply. It was the truth, but there was a whole lot left out in that statement.

" **Really?** " Regina's voice was dripping with disdain. " **That fish is in Storybrooke?** "

On a better day, Killian would have smirked at Regina's word choice, or even made a comment about the Savior and the Evil Queen hanging out and having coffee together, but he was still too raw from the emotions and the shock. It was all he could do to keep it together enough that Swan wouldn't suspect him. " **She was, yes**." Again, Killian was careful not to make eye contact with Emma when he was glossing over or stretching the truth. " **And we found a clue in Gold's shop which led us to discover that Eric had been shipwrecked on Hangman's Island, just off the coast of the Enchanted Forest**."

" **Zelena's curse must not have reached that far**." Emma reasoned.

" **Ariel's on her way there now**." Killian reported, and added " **She wanted me to say goodbye to Mary Margaret for her**." That way, no one would question why he was really at the apartment.

" **At the rate mermaids swim, she's probably already there. In fact, let's find out.** " Regina stood and walked over to the mirror.

 _No, no, no, no, no. Let's not find out._ Killian balled his fist up. _Will I never be free of my mistake with that infernal mermaid?_

 **"** **I thought you couldn't use mirror magic to look between worlds.** " Emma walked over to where Regina stood in front of the mirror.

" ** _I_** **can't**." Regina explained. " **But after seeing the raw power you possess, I think maybe you can**."

Killian sighed. " **There's no need. I'm sure she's fine. Anyway, it's bad form to spy on such a private affair**." _Surely we could just have a cup of coffee? Call the Charmings? Forget about this whole thing?_ Killian wondered if it would be better to just fess up now. If the mirror revealed his falsehoods, which kept expanding as the day went on, the two women would have his head and never trust him again.

" **How do I do it?** " Emma asked.

Regina fell back into teacher mode. " **Well, you've focused. You've let emotions awaken your power. Now you have to look inward.** "

Killian looked with trepidation as Emma focused. Then the mirror showed Ariel and Eric, embracing on the beach. Perhaps fate was deciding to be nice to him, just this once. For all appearances, the mermaid could have just arrived on the beach.

Emma turned to him, a small smile on her face. " **You did this? You brought them together**?"

 _This counts as a trick, and I will not win you this way, Emma_. " **No. It was Ariel. She never stopped believing**." Killian said softly. He deserved no credit for this, in fact, he nearly prevented it from happening.

" **Modesty?** " Emma was shocked. " **You're just full of surprises today.** "

Before Killian could respond with another negative (he was doing his best to take absolutely no credit for this), the door opened and David, Snow, and Henry walked in. Killian tucked his hook behind his coat - Emma had been right when she thought the hook might scare Henry. It was still a lethal instrument, and would raise questions Emma was clearly not ready to answer.

" **Where have you guys been?** " Emma asked.

" **Only having the best day ever**." Henry said. " **David let me drive his truck**."

" **You let him what?!** " Regina exclaimed, slipping easily back into her role as mother, and then caught herself. " **Oh. A... as mayor, I can't let an unlicensed, underage driver on the streets of Storybrooke.** "

" **As mayor, you might want to throw a little money at road repair**." David said, he and Henry looking like the cat who swallowed the canary.

" **Excuse me?** " Regina asked.

" **Nothing.** " Dave said as he and Henry made their way into the kitchen.

" **This is a terrible mistake**." Regina was definitely perturbed, and had Henry had his memories, she'd have been scolding both David and Henry. Killian almost wished he could see that.

" **She's right. Someone could have been seriously hurt**." Emma said.

" **Only if you're a mailbox**." Snow said under her breath.

" **It was so much fun**." Henry grinned.

David looked at his daughter with a self-satisfied smirk. " **What can I say? I've got a reckless, carefree... fun side**."

Killian had hoped to make a quick exit, but Snow had other ideas. " **Killian?** " She asked. " **Where's our friend?** "

Killian thought for a moment about how to say this without tipping Henry off to anything untoward. " **It turns out her missing... husband was back home after all.** "

" **It's true.** " Emma added. " **We just checked in on them on... Skype.** "

 _What is skype if it's a plausible substitute for mirror magic?_ Killian thought. " **She sends her regards, but she was too excited to wait**."

" **A happy ending**." Snow smiled, her ever-present optimism enjoying what she thought was a 'win' for the good guys. " **Well, maybe our luck's about to change. Dinner at Granny's?** "

" **Can I drive?** " Henry asked.

The adults, minus Killian, all exclaimed " **No!** "

" **Well, I guess I'll leave you guys to it.** " Killian made his way to the door.

" **You're not coming?** " Emma asked, confused and concerned.

Any other day, Killian would have been ecstatic at this inclusion in the family environment. And he wanted, desperately, to stay and tease Emma and wind up Snow and Charming and Regina. But he couldn't handle being around Emma right now. Not when he could still feel the dark magic of the curse on his lips. Not that he was afraid of kissing her - they certainly were not there in their relationship. He was afraid of confessing everything to her and having her hate him.

" **Another time, perhaps**." Killian just needed to get out of there.

Emma stood at the door. " **Well, if you change your mind, you know where we'll be. And, Killian... whatever happened this past year, whatever you're not telling me... I don't care. I'm tired of living in the past**."

Only superb self control, earned over a century, kept him from groaning out loud. Emma was willing to let him in, and now he had to push her away for her own safety. " **I know how you feel**." _I wish I could leave the past behind, but I can't. I'm still dealing with the consequences of my past._


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: I got nothing. Remember, words from the show (aka, words I don't own) are in **bold**. Thoughts are in _italics._ Enjoy! Also, I own nothing, it belongs to Disney/ABC/etc.

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 28**

After leaving the loft, Killian took a long walk. He felt like he couldn't win. Just when he was trying to turn things around, his past mistakes caught up with him. And now, even if he did get Emma to open up to him, even if they did start something, Killian could not - he _would not_ \- take her powers from her. Today only proved to him that he needed to start doing the right thing. Doing the right thing got him invited to dinner. Doing the wrong thing got him cursed.

He could see it now, if he'd made different choices…if Zelena had been a more rational, predictable adversary…he'd be sitting in there now, stealing a fry of Swan's plate and grinning at her. And he could flirt with her all he wanted without any remonstrations from David because he couldn't play the part of peeved off father with Henry there. That would certainly raise questions, and Henry already had a lot of those. Emma would smile at him, Regina would say something snarky, which Mary-Margaret, Snow, would pretend to be offended by. Then they'd all laugh and talk and act like what they were, what they should be: family. And he could have been a part of that. Killian wished, not for the first time tonight, that he could go back in time and fix things. But what had his mother always said? _The past is a country you can never visit_. But how could he solve this predicament he was in? Zelena had backed him into a corner and she knew it. Killian sighed, feeling defeated. His only option was to keep Emma at arm's length. He would not do anything to harm her or take her powers, even if that meant he'd be miserable for however long it took them to defeat the bloody witch.

The next day, Killian found himself at Regina's mansion, waiting for the others to arrive. He grabbed and apple and tossed it up and down, trying not to dwell on his personal quandary.

Emma opened the door and walked in. " **I'd watch out for the apples in this house**." She said dryly.

" **Aye**." Killian said absently, he knew she was teasing, but he was in no mood to laugh.

"I **t was a joke. Where's your sense of humor?** " Emma asked.

Killian knew she didn't deserve his ire. He sighed, " **It left when the witch arrived**."

 **"** **Well, we're gonna take care of that. Regina said she has a plan.** " She said optimistically, sounding like her parents.

" **I'm sure she does.** " He said and sat down at the table where the Charmings were clearly having a disagreement.

" **Emma, will you please tell your mother that we're not gonna name your brother 'Leopold'?"** David asked his daughter.

Of course, Emma didn't even get a word in, as Snow and Charming kept arguing about names. _Dave's right, your highness. Leopold is quite ridiculous for a wee fellow. Though to be fair, Dave hasn't offered up any alternatives to Leopold._ Killian rubbed his forehead. This was the last thing he needed when he was already feeling the weight of his secret and his curse.

Regina bustled in and began pouring something from a teapot. " **Sorry to keep you waiting. I was making this special tea**."

David reached for one of the small goblets and Regina shouted in alarm, " **No! Don't drink it. It's a deadly poison for summoning the dark vortex**."

" **I prefer Earl Grey**." David quipped.

" **The dark what?** " Emma asked.

" **Zelena came by this morning. While the dark one was stealing my heart, she was here gloating.** " Regina explained. " **She said that my weakness was that I don't know enough about her past, so I've decided to summon someone who does. We have to talk to my mother.** "

 _We have to talk to bloody Cora?_ Killian thought, alarmed. _Whoever is in charge of fate must hate me for some reason._ Regina explained the process and why they could do it. It was still a little difficult to think that Snow, optimistic, bird-loving Snow, was responsible for Cora's death. But that did work out in their favor, as Snow was more than willing to participate in the ceremony. Their job was easy. Hold hands and focus on Cora. At least Regina wasn't requiring them to think of good thoughts of Cora. Killian was pretty sure he didn't have any of those.

 _At the moment, I'd take her as a villain over Zelena. Cora had weaknesses, was rational and at least somewhat predictable. The bloody witch is insane._ Killian sighed as he took Snow's hand and felt Emma place her hand on his arm, right below the hook. _Well, that's a new sensation._ Killian thought. He and Emma _never_ touched. He felt a shudder of electricity run down his arm and he wondered if she felt the same. Killian shook his head and refocused his attention on Cora, like he was supposed to, and nothing happened.

They sat, holding hands in the dim light of the candles, for what felt like a full minute. Then the fire went out, an a loud noise directed their attention to the ceiling, where a creepy swirling blue vortex had appeared. Regina was calling for her mother, and all Killian could think was what would Cora say if she appeared and saw him and Regina sitting alongside the heroes? Working with the heroes? _She'd think we'd lost our bloody minds. And maybe we have_.

Emma's hand twitched and her thumb rubbed a little circle on his arm, causing Killian to jump a little in surprise, which knocked the table and startled Snow, who gave a shout and dropped his hand, cutting the connection off.

 _Quick, think of an excuse! Think of an excuse!_ Killian wracked his brain for something, anything. " **Sorry love**." He said and it came to him. " **That was me. I crossed my legs and bumped the table**."

Regina let out a sigh and blew out the candle Snow had used to kill Cora.

" **Do we try it again?** " Snow asked.

" **No. There's no point**." Regina was clearly disappointed. " **It worked. The portal opened, but nothing came from it. She doesn't want to talk to me. I guess whatever secrets lie in her past, she wants to keep buried there**."

They prepared to leave Regina's, brainstorming ideas about how else to stop the witch. David suggested getting Belle more involved, which wasn't a bad idea, the clever woman was excellent at research and willing to help. Emma was getting more confident in her powers, which was also a good thing. But Regina…Killian had never heard her Majesty so…lacking in confidence. Regina was _always_ confident, always full of bravado, but her response to Emma to make sure she was ready, it sounded like Regina had no thought that she could handle her sister herself. That was a scary thought, Regina was fond of saying that monsters ran from her, not the other way around. Snow had elected to stay, while the others were to head off to continue to research the witch and what, exactly, she was planning.

Emma and Killian arrived at Granny's and unlocked the door. The old woman had given Emma and David keys so they could use the diner as a base during a crisis, and there was _always_ a crisis. Killian opened the book he'd found at the library and dutifully began reading. Or, at least, pretending to read. Emma was in a strange mood. She seemed to sense something was off with him and seemed to be trying her best to…lift his spirits.

"I can't sit and read, yet. I need hot chocolate." Emma said. "You want one?"

"No, I'm fine, Swan." Killian replied, not looking up from his book. Curious, he raised his eyes oh so slightly and saw a pout on her beautiful face.

 _Damn it Zelena. This is torture_. He groaned inwardly but kept his face placid and pretending to focus on the book. Emma set about making her hot chocolate, but didn't bring it over. Instead, she stood at the counter and…he couldn't tell what she was doing, she had her back too him.

All of a sudden, the hot chocolate appeared on top of his book.

" **Boom!** " Emma smacked the counter. " **Granny's to go. I should open a franchise.** "

She walked over to him, clearly pleased with herself and clearly not willing to be ignored.

" **It's impressive**." Killian said, picking up the mug and putting in in front of her as she slid into the booth.

It really was impressive. But it was also torture. Killian knew that Emma was flirting with him. _And if it weren't for the blasted witch, we'd be having the time of our lives. She finally opens up to me and I have to…damn you, Zelena_! Killian thought.

Emma evidently wasn't done. " **You want to see something really impressive?** " She waved her hand and a tinkling noise alerted Killian to the sight of his hook hanging from the coat rack. Emma burst into the most adorable giggles, which made this whole situation that much worse for Killian.

" **That's bad form, Swan Tampering with a man's hook**." Killian said, harsher than he intended, as he got up to retrieve the appendage.

" **Okay, seriously, what is up with you?** " Emma asked.

 _It's not her fault, idiot. You shouldn't take it out on her._ Killian clicked the hook back in place. " **I apologize for my rudeness. It's a long story Too long for now.** " He pulled out his flask. His heart couldn't take it anymore, he needed a drink.

Emma was taken aback, but she pressed on, determined to get to the bottom of the issue. " **Okay. Obviously, something's** -"

She was interrupted by the door opening and Belle running in. " **Emma! Emma, I found it!** " The brunette plopped a book down in front of Emma, opening to a specific page. " **We have to tell Regina and the others**."

And just like that, Emma was in Savior mode and Killian was reprieved. " **Okay, Belle, slow down. What did you find**?"

" **Zelena's plan. I figured out what she's doing.** " Belle said and Killian sat up a little straighter. Finally, some good news.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: Loving all the story follows, guys, it makes me happy and write semi-faster (sorry, the holiday season is going to make the updates less frequent but I'm going to try my best!). Remember, words from the show (aka, words I don't own) are in **bold**. Thoughts are in _italics._ Enjoy! Also, I own nothing, it belongs to Disney/ABC/et al.

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 29**

Killian listened to Belle explain Zelena's plan. His horror grew when he realized that this would mean no Emma and no Henry and probably a host of other terrible things. But how was she going to do it if no one had ever succeeded? Killian 's stomach fell when David figured out how the witch was planning on time traveling.

 _The baby._

 _Bloody hell._ Killian thought. _Cora was cruel, and so was Regina, and they would have not hesitated to use a child, certainly, but they would never hurt them, and they would never murder a baby_. _And even at my most villainous stage, I would never do such a thing._

Killian walked over to Regina as soon as the others left to help Mary Margaret out to the car.

"Can she really do this?" He asked.

"Yes." Regina nodded. "Would you…"

"Never." Killian said fiercely. "You wouldn't either."

"No. I killed a lot of people but even I drew the line at killing a baby." She shook her head. "I think she's nuts."

"Nuts?" He asked, confused.

"Insane." Regina clarified.

"Aye, I think she must be." Killian shook his head. He thought about telling Regina, perhaps she could help un-curse his lips. But thought better of it. She had a difficult night already, he didn't need to compound it. "Good evening, your Majesty."

The next morning, Belle sent him what Killian learned was a "text" on his brand new talking phone that Emma purchased for him.

"Meet me at the library first thing, I need your help." The text read.

So, after eating a quick breakfast and getting his newest addiction, coffee, to go, Killian headed for the Storybrooke public library.

"Morning, what can I do for you?" He asked, walking in. Belle was pouring over another book and looked as if she hadn't gone home or slept the previous night.

Belle jumped, startled. "Hook, you scared me. You know, you could have responded to the text and told me you were coming."

 _I've only just learned how to read the damn things_. Killian thought and shrugged. "Sorry, I saw it this morning and headed over first thing, like you asked."

"Right." Belle shook her head, focusing back on the text. "I need you to translate something for me. It's in a language I don't recognize but I think you will."

"Me?" Killian raised an eyebrow.

"It's elvish, but it's not normal elvish." Belle explained. "I can't make it out, or what I am making out makes no sense."

Killian walked over to where she had piled several books up, a few of which were open. Belle pointed to a very old one.

"This, I know, is a reference to time travel." Belle pointed to a particular piece of text. "But the rest…I can translate most of it but it doesn't make much sense."

"That's because it's dark elvish." Killian said, and he did know how to read that a little, due to his obsession with the Dark One and revenge for the last century or so. "It's a warning, I think."

"A warning?"

"Aye. My elvish isn't great but I think it says that all…this word here means 'practitioners of magic'. Let's see…ah, this word here means 'time' and this is, it's a word for something that just is, like the sun rising every day." Killian explained, translating as best he could.

"Like…a natural law?" Belle asked.

"No." Killian shook his head, that wasn't quite it. "A fundamental law. So essentially, this bit here says 'all practitioners of magic be warned: time is fragile. It goes against the fundamental laws of magic, all attempts at time travel are to be stopped by any means necessary.' Laws of magic. Fascinating." Killian looked over the book some more. "The rest I can't even begin to translate."

"That's not good." Belle said.

"Clearly." He nodded.

"No. I mean, yes, it would be helpful to know the rest. But what I mean is, this text here is a dark magic text. It says the exact same thing as this text on light magic. If both sides have warned against time travel, then it must be extremely dangerous." Belle explained, pulling up another book and opening to a specific story. "This one goes into more detail. It gives an example of why even the smallest change could be lethal. It's kind of a…parable. It says there once existed a man named Dale who went back in time to meet his grandfather…

Upon arriving in the past, Dale stole a horse and cart from a farm to get to his grandfather, who was a great and powerful wizard, faster. He thought the horse and cart wouldn't be missed, it'd only be for a day and then he'd return it. He arrived and met his grandfather, and the two talked of magic and had a wonderful time. The next morning, the doors of the wizard's keep burst open and a peasant ran in, breathless.

"Great one," the peasant said, "Milea's child is in peril. You must come quickly. I would have been here sooner but our cart was stolen and so I had to run all the way here."

The wizard used magic to transport himself and his guest to the same farmhouse that Dale had stolen the cart from. But it was too late. Milea's child had died and there was nothing to be done. Suddenly, Dale noticed he was fading.

"What is happening?" he asked the great wizard.

"You are vanishing" the wizard answered.

Then Dale recognized the distraught mother and it dawned on him. Milea was short for MiIlenora, His mother's name.

"Milea, what was the child's name to be?" the great one asked his daughter.

"Dale" she replied. "For his father. If you had been here sooner, he would be alive"

As he vanished, Dale realized it was his own fault, by stealing the cart, he'd prevented his own birth, and would now cease to exist."

"Pleasant story." Killian said.

"Yes." Belle sighed and looked at him. "We have to stop Zelena. There's no telling what damage she could do, not just to Emma and Henry and Regina and Snow, but to all of us."

That thought in mind, Killian left the library to tell Emma or David about Belle's findings. It wasn't really new information, but it was most certainly important to know. Even the smallest changes in the past could have horrendous repercussions. And Zelena wanted to make _big_ changes. He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice Rumplestiltskin driving up behind him. In a flash, literally because of the Dark One's magic, Killian found himself in the trunk of a car, bound and gagged.

 _What the hell?_ He asked himself, looking around. _This can't be good_.

They didn't drive for very long, but really, no one could leave Storybrooke so there were a limited number of places to go in a vehicle. He still took whatever time he could and tried to wriggle out of the bonds, irritated with himself that he hadn't chosen to wear his hook that morning. Soon, Killian felt the car stop and heard muffled voices. One he knew was the Dark One. The other wasn't hard to guess. The trunk opened to reveal Rumplestiltskin and Zelena, who was holding a red rose for some strange reason.

 _Now I know I'm not the best at using the modern conveniences, but this is ridiculous. She won't kill me, because she needs me to take Emma's power, which means she's brought me out here to threaten me. What a bloody waste of time_. " **We're in Storybrooke. You've never heard of a telephone?** " Killian asked.

Zelena laughed, ignoring his question and rubbing his lips with the blasted rose. " **Such pretty lips. And so wasted. Why haven't you used those luscious lips and kissed Emma?** "

" **A fellow likes to be courted**." Killian quipped. _Surely you didn't think I'd actually do it? I won't do anything to hurt her._

" **This isn't a joke**." The witch snapped. " **I need to have her magic removed. If Snow's baby is born before your kiss, I'm going to have no other option. I'm going to have to start killing people. People that Emma loves. Starting with her son**."

Killian felt his fury rise, like it always did, when someone threatened Emma or Henry. Zelena couldn't physically hurt Emma for some reason, but she could hurt Henry. He struggled against his bonds and she tossed the rose on top of him.

" **Take away her magic, Captain, or the next rose will be on her little brat's grave**." Zelena slammed the trunk closed, leaving Killian to his fury and struggling with his bonds.

A/N: I totally made up Dark Elvish. We all know Killian is smart/perceptive/sometimes the only one on the show with a clue, so I figured in his quest to destroy the Dark One he learned a thing or two (or a language or two...why not?) If you think that's crazy, just suspend your belief for this one little chapter. I just figured he had to have more than just a cursory discussion with Belle about it because in 3x21/3x22 he's all up on time travel and the danger it produces. Thanks for reading!


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: Wohoo! 30 chapters. And there is so much more story to tell. Look out for a lovely Christmas interlude because after 5x08, we need some good old fashioned Captain Swan fluff. Usual reminders still apply: **bold** words are from the show, _italics_ are thoughts, and I own nothing but the imagination that thought up the bits not in bold. Enjoy this nice, long chapter :)

Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?

Chapter 30

As he was apparently driven back to town, Killian began forming a plan. Zelena couldn't harm Henry if he wasn't in Storybrooke. As much as he railed against Emma and Henry going back to New York permanently, perhaps the boy would be safer there until the witch was out of the way.

Fate seemed to agree with him. The car literally spat him out right near Main Street, and as soon as he turned onto the main thoroughfare of the town, he saw Henry opening the driver's side of the yellow bug. He knew that look, it was a look Emma had on her face when she was about to run from something she was afraid to deal with. Henry was running away.

" **Where are you off to there, mate**?" Killian asked, startling the boy.

Henry turned to look at him. " **Uh, nowhere.** "

 _Liar_. Killian raised an eyebrow. " **You're quite in the rush to go nowhere.** "

" **Fine. I'm going home**." Henry fessed up.

" **Mm. You're running away**." Killian walked over to the boy.

" **Whatever.** " The boy threw up his hands, caught but still determined.

Killian wanted to know exactly what the progeny of Emma Swan and Baelfire had planned. " **So, you're planning on driving all the way back to New York? One lesson and you think you're ready for that?** " Henry, unlike his parents sometimes, seemed to be an extremely responsible lad. _Must be Regina's influence._

" **No, just to the nearest bus station**." Henry answered.

 _Yes, definitely Regina._ Both Bae and Emma would be driving all the way back. Or attempting to, anyway. But driving to the bus station would leave Henry unprotected and alone from a danger he knew nothing about - a danger he didn't even think existed. No, Killian had to stop him. " **I'm afraid I can't let you do that. It's too dangerous**."

Henry opened the door of the bug. " **I don't care what you think**."

Killian used his good hand to close the door again. " **Well, you should. Cause I've got a better way.** " _I need to get you out of town, but we'll be doing it my way. With no memory and the witch after you, you can't be alone_.

On the way, Killian called Smee. He was going to stay behind and help protect Emma. Smee wasn't the best and brightest, but he was unfailingly loyal, and if Killian told him to protect the boy, Smee would give his life to see it done if necessary.

Henry was dubious of the plan and recognized Smee's name from this world's completely ridiculous story (and several movies) of Peter Pan. The snow was falling heavily, making visibility an issue, but that would protect Henry and Smee once they were in open water.

" **Why are you helping me?** " Henry asked, clearly confused as to why an adult was helping him run away from his mother.

Killian hadn't prepared an answer for that. He was hoping Henry had been so ready to leave that he wouldn't question his motivation. Before he could answer, there was a distant sound of flapping wings.

" **Captain?** " Smee asked nervously, looking towards the sound.

Killian turned and looked, recognizing the only thing that could be heading towards them that made that sound. One of Zelena's monkeys. He had to keep Henry safe. " **Mr. Smee, we need to get the lad to the boat house**."

Henry was confused. " **Why? What's going on?** " He turned to look and saw, for the first time, the flying monkey. Without his memories, this was even more of a shock for the lad. " **Killian, what is that**?"

Killian hurried the boy into the boat house with Smee hot on his heels. Smee locked the doors, but with the open boathouse, that would not deter the monkeys in the slightest. He had to get Henry to safety. " **Take the boy there. Far exit. Find a new boat. I'll stay here to deal with our winged friends.** " Killian turned to the boy. " **Henry, go with Smee. Don't stop, no matter what you hear**."

Smee and Henry tried to run, but when he got to the open area of the boat house, Henry caught sight of one of the monkeys and froze in fear. Killian was desperate to save the boy.

" **Henry, go!** " He shouted, his desperate tone spurring Henry into action. Killian fired at the monkey, catching it dead in it's chest. He took out a second monkey the same way and prayed that Henry had made it out.

Killian turned to see Henry trip, a third monkey landing on the rafters above him. Killian aimed his pistol, but the shot had already fired, it was useless. Before the monkey could get to Henry, Killian heard another loud boom and the monkey vanished. _Swan! Perfect timing!_ He thought as she ran in, gun drawn, David and Regina behind her.

David threw his sword and Regina took care of one with a fireball while Emma shot a third. One more fireball from Regina and the monkeys were gone.

Emma helped Henry to his feet. The lad was shaken, not only from seeing the winged beasts but from seeing David throw a sword and Regina throw fire.

" **Henry, are you okay**?" She asked.

Henry was likely _not_ okay, he was shocked. But physically, he was fine. " **Y… Yeah. What were those things? Why does he have a sword?** "

Henry was asking a million questions, a sure sign that he was, at least physically, fine. An inquisitive Henry was an okay Henry. But there was no explanation for what just happened. At least, not a non-magic one. But for once, Emma didn't seem like she was trying to come up with one. In fact, from what she was saying, it sounded like she had found a way to restore Henry's memories and was going to do it.

 _How will you run off to New York when he remembers his other mother and grandparents?_ Killian thought, and couldn't help the feeling of hope blossoming in his heart. _Perhaps you've decided to stay_.

Emma handed the lad the book and Henry froze for a moment. Killian wasn't sure it had worked until Henry looked at Regina and said " **Mom**?"

Regina pulled Henry into a tearful hug, glad that he knew her again. There was no missing the joy in his voice when Henry told both of his mothers " **I remember**."

Regina put her hands on the lad's shoulders as he faced Emma. " **Do it, Emma. Break the curse**."

Killian watched as Emma leaned forward to kiss Henry, which is how he heard she broke the first Dark Curse, but Henry vanished before she could.

Killian whirled to see Zelena, holding Henry, one arm around his front, perilously close to a chokehold.

" **So, sorry to interrupt. Now, who wants to say good-bye first?** " The witch asked.

For his part, Henry struggled valiantly against his attacker. " **Who are you?** " He asked, having never heard about Zelena and the curse.

" **You can call me Auntie Zelena**." The witch answered the boy.

Regina stepped forward. " **Enough of this**."

But Zelena was prepared and sent Regina flying backwards, where she landed on the ground in a heap and didn't move.

" **Let him go. He had nothing to do with this**." Emma was seething and frightened.

" **Don't blame me. The captain failed me**." Zelena replied.

 _The bloody…_ Killian couldn't think of enough curses to throw at that blasted woman. " **Damn you, Zelena**." And now they'd all think he was working with the witch.

Emma looked at him sideways, confused. " **Hook, what's she talking about?** "

Killian was glad to hear only confusion, and not accusation, in her voice. But that didn't solve the problem at hand.

Zelena had her hands around Henry's throat. " **He knew what the price of that failure was: Your son's life.** "

Killian felt his heart plummet. _No!_ But what could he do? He didn't have magic, he was no match for Zelena. For maybe the second time in his extended adult life, Killian Jones was utterly useless. But Emma wasn't.

Killian turned to see Emma in a pose of intense focus. Then the bright, pure light of Emma's magic shone down on Henry and Killlian smelled burning flesh and leather. With a shout of pain and frustration, Zelena released the boy.

" **Run**!" Emma shouted, and caught Henry in a hug as he made his way to her.

Zelena was furious. " **Enjoy this moment together because you don't have many left!** " With that, she vanished in a cloud of green smoke.

" **Henry, are you okay?** "

Henry nodded, relieved. " **Yeah. Yeah.** " He knelt down beside Regina and started to gently shake her. " **Mom!** "

 _Come on, your Majesty. You're not done yet_. Killian thought as Henry continued to try to rouse his mother. Finally, Regina woke and stood, hugging Henry close. Emma let out a sigh of relief, and Killian felt the same. _I never thought I'd see the day where I'd want Regina to be okay._ And then Regina kissed Henry on the forehead and Killian felt a rush of light magic pass over him, _What the devil was that? Did she just…break the curse_?

Emma was stunned. " **It wasn't me. It was you.** " She turned to her parents. " **Mary Margaret. David, did it work? Do you remember the missing year**?"

" **Yes, everything.** " Snow looked at her husband with trepidation. Something had happened in that missing year. Something bad.

" **How did Zelena cast the curse?** " Emma asked.

Snow shook her head. " **She didn't, Emma. We did**."

 _What?_ Killian thought, and Emma echoed his sentiment. " **You cursed yourselves?** "

" **Zelena's weakness is light magic**." Snow nodded. " **I mean, it's clear now, more than ever. You're the only one who can defeat her**."

 _I could have told you that from bloody day one._ Killian thought.

" **That's why we paid the price for Regina's curse. To find you**." David explained.

 _The price of the curse is killing the thing you love most_. Killian looked at the pair. _Hold on. Why are you both alive?_

Emma asked the same question. " **The price of the curse is the heart of the thing you love most. If one of you cast it, how are you both still here?** "

Snow and David explained, briefly, about casting the curse, Zelena adding the memory potion, and how they now shared a heart. Meanwhile, Henry was telling Regina all about New York and catching his mother up on the vital things that happened to him during the missing year. At some point, Robin had showed up, but Killian was more focused on what was happening _next_. There was no way Emma would let what Zelena said slide. He was going to have to own up to everything. This was not going to be a fun conversation. Emma's trust was a fragile thing, and if he didn't handle it the right way, he'd be back at square one with her.

Sure enough, as soon as the royals were done explaining, Emma walked over to him.

" **Are you gonna tell me what Zelena was talking about? She said you failed her.** " Again, the tone wasn't accusatory, more hurt and surprised. Which Killian decided was much, much worse. Actually, he was pretty sure she was more angry that he hadn't told her about Zelena's plan than his foolishness in getting into the situation in the first place.

" **Don't listen to her.** " Killian said, _I'd never do anything to harm you or the boy, Swan. I didn't have many choices here, but I did the best I could_.

" **Killian, what's going on? Were you working for her?** "

 _Maybe I could tell the truth without going into details_ … Killian thought, and explained. **"The witch tried to back me into a corner. I did everything I could to resist her plans.** "

" **So, whose idea was it to kidnap Henry and stick him on a boat?** " She demanded.

" **It was mine. I was trying to save him**." Technically, he was running away, so it wasn't a kidnapping, but Killian doubted Emma would see it that way.

" **From what?** " Emma asked. " **What is she doing?** "

Killian looked down and decided he needed to fess up. To everything. What could Zelena do now? " **She cursed me. My lips, actually**."

" **Your lips? Why?** " Emma was confused.

 **"** **She wants to steal your magic. She thought I was the best way of doing that**." He explained. " **She knows what we all know: That you can defeat her.** "

Emma kept her voice low and even. She was angry. Angry at him for keeping this a secret, angry that he tried to send her son away without telling her, angry that he'd not even bothered to warn her that Henry was in danger. " **It should have been my decision to protect Henry. Whether she forced your hand or not, it doesn't matter. I can't trust you now. How can I?** "

Killian had no defense. He should have tried to tell someone. He was just afraid that the witch would do something to Henry and Killian had done everything in his power to keep that from happening. But before he could even explain his reasoning, David and Mary Margaret walked over.

 **"** **She's right not to.** " David interjected. " **He has lied about more than just this**."

Killian looked at the pair, confused. He hadn't lied about anything else, lately, that he knew about.

Mary Margaret narrowed her eyes at him. " **You said you brought Emma to Storybrooke because you received a message from us with a memory potion.** "

Killian was still confused. " **Aye, what of it?** "

" **We didn't send you any message**." David said.

" **Well, I got one.** " Killian turned from the royal couple and to Emma. " **It's the truth. Somebody bloody well sent me the message. Who else would have an antidote? Who else would have known where to find the savior?** " _How was I supposed to know it wasn't you? It wasn't signed! It came from a bird. If that doesn't scream 'Snow White' then what does? It wasn't like I ever told them I was positive the note came from them_. Killian thought bitterly. _And here I'd thought I'd earned their trust_.

Emma wasn't in the mood. " **Just…I can't deal with this right now. I need to see if Henry's okay**."

With that, Emma walked out of the boat house.

" **Stay away from her.** " David warned as he and Snow walked out.

 _Bloody royals._ Killian glowered and headed off for the Rabbit Hole. He needed a drink, badly.


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: Be on the look out for a lovely Christmas interlude because after 5x08, we need some good old fashioned Captain Swan fluff. Usual reminders still apply: **bold** words are from the show, _italics_ are thoughts, and I own nothing but the imagination that thought up the bits not in bold. Enjoy, follow...maybe review? :)

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 31**

Killian awoke with a pounding headache in his room at Granny's - not entirely sure _how_ he got there. He sat up slowly and let out a string of curses in surprise when he saw Bae - Neal - sitting on the edge of his bed, wearing the same white shirt and khakis he'd seen him in earlier.

"I think you might be the reason behind the expression 'curse like a sailor'." Neal teased.

"Are you going to be my hallucination every time I get drunk?" Killian countered.

"No." Neal shrugged. "And I'm not really a hallucination."

"If you're not a hallucination, why are you here?"

"To help. You can't give up on Emma and Mary Margaret and David."

"Give up?"

"They trusted you. When you lied, they felt betrayed. They lashed out in anger. Especially Emma. You know you scare her. You see through all her walls and that terrifies her. She's pissed you lied to her, and she is subconsciously looking for a reason to run. You betraying her - even if you didn't actually betray her - is her new excuse to take Henry and get away from Storybrooke and all it's magic and emotional messiness." Neal explained. "She's not afraid of the witch - not really. She's afraid that she could be happy here, and in Emma's experience, it's only a matter of time before happiness is ripped away from you. So she doesn't want to risk it."

"I did actually know that." Killian sighed. "I'm quite perceptive, you know."

"I know you are." Neal smiled. "So, what's your plan?"

"Plan?"

"Come on, Killian. I know you have a plan."

"The only plan I have at the moment is to somehow get into the diner and get coffee without making this blasted headache any worse. Or hallucinating further." Killian shook his head.

The hallucination of Neal crossed his arms and leaned against the wall in a remarkable likeness of the real man. "And after coffee?"

"I'm going to find them and do what I can to help." Killian sighed, "I know Emma expects people to leave. So I'm going to stay and help. Even if she is mad at me."

Neal nodded and Killian's talking phone rang. When he looked back up after picking up the ringing device, Neal the hallucination was gone. The former pirate shook his head, and instantly regretted it - he had _got_ to stop drinking like that. He held the phone as far away from his ear as he could to keep the hangover from getting worse.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Hook?" The voice from the other line was none other than the Prince himself - David.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Dave?" Killian asked, confused.

"I…I think we were a bit unfair yesterday." David sighed. "I'd like to hear your side of the story."

 _Really, mate?_ Killian was pleasantly surprised at the hero. "About the note? Or Zelena?"

"You're right. It was a good idea to assume that Snow sent the note." David acknowledged. "Whoever it was, they were trying to help. What happened with Zelena?"

"She…" Killian had intended to tell David only about the curse but somehow, he ended up spilling the whole bloody story - from the missing year on. "I wanted to tell you or Emma or someone, but Zelena is crazy. I…I didn't want anything to happen to Henry. I care about the lad too much."

David had listened to the whole tale patiently. "Wow. I'm impressed. I mean, you made a pretty awful choice, but we all make mistakes. And owning up to them is a good way to start fixing them." The prince paused for a moment. "Look, we're going to take Henry to visit Neal's grave. After that, why don't you and I meet for a few beers and we'll talk over this more? Trust takes a while to build back, but you have to start somewhere."

Killian felt a sudden surge of…yes, it was gratitude towards the prince. "Sounds good mate."

"Now go get some coffee. You sound awful." With that, David hung up.

 _Well, wonders never cease_ … Killian smirked and stood, but the movement provide too much and he collapsed back in bed with a groan. _Just beer this afternoon, I swear it, not one drop of rum._

Killian was on his second cup of coffee when he heard his phone beep. His hangover was (thankfully) mostly gone, thanks to a hearty breakfast and Granny's strongest coffee. But he wasn't ready to rejoin the modern world just yet.

"You do know you just got a text, right?" Ruby asked, leaning over the counter. Before Emma, Killian would have leered at the way Ruby's assets were spilling out of her white top, now he just saw Ruby.

"Aye. I've learned how to text." Killian nodded. "This talking device is a bloody nuisance."

"We all think that from time to time. But they're good to have here. I mean, how else can you alert the rest of the town to the giant attacking or the next monster?" Ruby grinned. "I got a question."

"Ask away, lass." Killian shrugged. He had nothing to hide. Not anymore.

"You don't like going by Hook, do you? I mean, you seem to really enjoy everyone calling you 'Killian' around Henry. So…I was wondering. Do you want us to start calling you something other than Hook?"

"Killian Jones is my name. Hook is my moniker. I have no preference as to which I am addressed as. And now that Henry's memory is returned, there will be no need to hide it." He answered. _Liar! You love being called Killian._

"Nah. Hook is the name for a villain. You're not one of those anymore. But I can't be like everyone else and call you 'Killian' either." Ruby said thoughtfully. "I know, I'll call you Jones."

"You could use any name you like. It's Storybrooke. Everyone's got two names. Or three." Killian replied, smiling. "But if it suits milady's wishes, I'll happily allow her to call me 'Jones'."

Ruby grinned. "Good. Now, Jones, do me a solid and answer your phone before the text alert noise drives me nuts."

Killian rolled his eyes as she moved on to other customers. He picked up his phone and saw he had a text from David. "MM in labor." It read. "Come help at hospital. Need to keep the WW away."

 _MM…that has to be Mary Margaret. Snow. And WW is the wicked witch._ Killian thought. Then the other word hit him: labor. The baby was coming. Now.


	32. Chapter 32

A/N: Can't believe we have to wait until March...ug. Here's a nice long chapter since it's been so long since I last posted. I guess this'll help get me through the hiatus. Usual reminders still apply: **bold** words are from the show, _italics_ are thoughts, and I own nothing but the imagination that thought up the bits not in bold. Enjoy, follow...maybe review? :)

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 32**

Oddly enough, when he had arrived at the hospital, the person sitting at the large desk immediately directed him to the maternity wing. He was clearly hanging around the royals too much. Emma and Regina were discussing something when Killian walked in.

" **Swan**?" He asked, trepidation evident in his voice. _I hope she's not still too angry with me._ " **I heard the little royal was on his way.** "

Emma turned to look at him, her eyes and voice hard. " **I don't think it's a good idea for you to be here right now**."

 _Yes, definitely still angry with me._ Killian didn't let her words hurt him. Emma was in desperation-fear mode, which meant she was pushing away any emotional entanglement with all her might. " **I want to help**." Killian said simply. And it was, for the first time in a long time, completely true. Mary Margaret had won his respect, so had David. And Belle's warnings about messing with time and his own scruples at not harming innocent children meant that he truly, truly only wanted to help keep the baby safe.

Emma wasn't buying it. Or wasn't willing to let herself buy it. " **If you really wanted to help, you would have told me when Zelena cursed your lips.** "

Killian was not going down this road again. He was trying to do the right thing. " **I had no choice. She threatened you and your family. I was trying to help.** "

" **Telling me what was going on would have been help**." She said.

" **And the death sentence for your boy.** " He reminded her.

Emma paused for a moment. " **Henry's safety is my concern, not yours, which is why I'm taking this fight to Zelena. This ends today**."

Killian recognized the edge in her voice. She was terrified and getting desperate. Emma had never encountered anything like the witch before. Regina's magic was usually equal to whatever foe they faced and they had Rumplestiltskin as a magical last-ditch effort. With the witch, Regina was not as powerful as her sister and Zelena had the Dark One on her side. That meant that Emma's magic alone had to be strong enough. Killian didn't doubt it was stronger than Zelena's by far, but Emma was less sure. And Emma in this state was never a good thing.

She turned from him and was walking away, likely towards facing the witch. Killian made to follow her but stopped when David appeared out of one of the doors on the hall and stopped her.

" **Emma, wait.** " He said. " **You don't have to do this alone**."

Killian watched as David and Emma had a father-daughter talk that Emma clearly wasn't pleased with. He made out Emma's question of " **are you insane?** " followed by David answering something Killian couldn't hear.

Then the prince turned and looked back at him. " **You're going with her.** "

 _That was never in doubt. But…did I really regain the Prince's trust? Wasn't he just talking about that this morning?_ Killian regarded the royal thoughtfully. " **Mm, I thought you didn't trust me, mate**."

" **Zelena backed you into a corner. You did the best you could**." David shook his head.

Killian looked over David's shoulder at Emma. " **See? Even your father gets it.** "

" **Yeah, because he knows about keeping secrets from loved ones**." Emma retorted.

Killian fought back the urge to wince. That was low. Emma Swan was _not_ a happy person at the moment, in fact, Killian would hazard the guess that she was furious.

Emma continued despite the two men's reactions. " **I'm sorry. I'm doing this alone**."

 _You bloody well are not_. Killian thought, the same time David said aloud, " **No, you're not. This isn't about you. It's about all of us**."

" **What's he gonna do?** " Emma asked. " **I have magic. He's got one hand**."

" **You know, I'm good in a fight.** " Killian pointed out. _And I believe the last time we fought, Princess, I had to go easy on you. No need to be insulting_.

" **At the very least, he can draw fire.** " David tried a different tactic.

 **"** **What, now I'm cannon fodder?** " Killian asked incredulously.

" **Fine. He can come**." Emma acquiesced.

Killian made his way to leave, but Emma had other ideas. She made sure to say goodbye to her son before leaving. Not a terrible decision, considering the foe they were off to face. But when she walked back down the hall towards him Killian noticed the emotions written on her face: fury, not only at them but at the witch, and steely determination, but also a tumultuous mix of fear, excitement, worry…it was not often that your parents had another child so long after they had you.

The ride out to the edge of the trail leading to the witch's house was quiet. Killian didn't mind, it gave him time to think. Yes, Emma was clearly still angry with him, but at least she wasn't avoiding him.

" **I never should have brought Henry back to Storybrooke.** " Emma sighed, breaking the silence.

" **You did what you thought was right**." Killian replied, trying to hide the exasperation in his voice. _This woman…_

" **I did what you manipulated me into**." Emma said accusingly.

 _There it is. Good. Lash out at me all you want, Swan. You know it was the right thing to do. I didn't manipulate you into anything._ Again, Killian fought down his irritation. " **Your parents needed you, Swan. The town needed you**."

" **Henry also needed me. We were happy in New York.** " Emma said. " **Once I'm done melting this witch, I'd like us to be happy again**."

Killian tried a new angle, thankful that a century of chasing the crocodile had, at the very least, taught him patience, " **You know as content as you were in that city, it wasn't real**."

Emma wasn't ready to admit defeat. " **It was real for me. For him. Everything that happened happened**."

" **Minus all the things you'd forgotten**." Killian countered. " **Part of you is not the real you. And like it or not, the big part of you and Henry belongs in this town**." _With your family. With your friends. With people who bloody understand you_.

" **Yeah, the part of us that's always in danger. We're leaving**." She said, stubbornly repeating her one excuse to run back to New York.

" **What does the boy think?** " He asked.

" **He's a kid. He wants chocolate milk in his cereal. I'm his mother. I know what's best for him**." Emma replied.

" **What's best for him? Or for you?** " Killian turned to look at her, knowing that he was on dangerous ground but the only way to make Emma see sense was to push her towards it.

Emma looked at him like his suggestion was ludicrous before looking away. " **Excuse me?** "

 _I'm tired of your little defense mechanism of pushing people away, Swan. You're out of excuses._ " **You've taken care of the boy quite well here. You can talk about danger all you like, but it isn't that**." He turned to look at her and softened his voice, " **So, tell me, what is it? Why are you so scared of staying?** "

Emma didn't respond and looked away from him, looking for any excuse to avoid this conversation.

Killian knew she wanted to run because she was afraid to stay. Afraid to actually open up to her family and really belong to something. At heart, she was still a Lost Girl and the thought of permanency and belonging…it was what she always wanted but always feared the most because that security was aways, always taken from her in the past.

He decided to voice his opinion. " **I think it's because you can see a future here. A happy one.** "

" **Let me guess: With you?** " Emma asked, a touch of snark in her voice.

 _Possibly. I would certainly like that, but that is not the only reason. Regardless of anything that happens with us, you belong here with your family and people who care about -_ Killian's thoughts were interrupted by an " **aw** " from a familiar voice.

" **You two are so adorable. But instead of looking for each other, maybe you should be focused on me**." Zelena said.

Killian was really beginning to hate that woman. She continued, " **Although, without magic, that could prove to be a challenge**."

" **The next time you try to take my power, why don't you try enchanting the lips of someone, I'll actually kiss?** " Emma asked.

 _Low blow, Emma. Just because you can't see it yet doesn't mean others don't._ Killian held his tongue, now was _not_ the time.

" **See, Emma, you've got a decision to make. You can keep your magic which makes you oh so sad, or you can save the man that you can't wait to run away from.** " Zelena replied, mockingly. Then the witched turned to Gold. " **Rumple.** "

Killian felt himself fly through the air and land in the water. It was freezing, he couldn't pull his head out and he couldn't breathe. He fought with everything he had. _Captain Hook will not die like this!_ He struggled for what felt like minutes, until the edges of his vision began to go black. _No! Not yet._ Killian felt his life flash before his eyes, and the last thing he saw before everything went black was a memory of Emma, kissing him senseless in Neverland.

The next thing he knew, Killian was on his back, turning to the side to cough up water, Emma's concerned face hovering over him.

" **Swan?** " He asked, and then realization dawned on him and he touched his lips. _No, no, no. The crazy witch isn't supposed to win! Better to let me die, then you could keep yourself and Henry safe._ " **What did you do? What did you do?** "

"I…" Emma paused, unsure of what to say. She stood up and helped him to his feet. "We have to go. She's going after the baby. Can you walk?"

"Aye." Killian nodded, running a hand through his wet hair. It would be a cold walk back to the bug, but at least he'd be dry by the time they made it to the hospital. He just hoped they'd make it in time.

When they arrived to see Regina, Henry and David standing in the hall, Killian knew they were too late.

" **What happened? Did you find Zelena?** " David asked, a desperate tremor in his voice.

" **I... I did, but I couldn't stop her.** " Emma replied.

" **She took your brother.** " David said.

Emma's whole body seemed to sag with guilt. " **Because I failed?** "

 _No, Dave, don't get your daughter in a tail-spin, we still need her._ " **We're all still here, So you haven't failed just yet**." Killian pointed out.

That's all David needed to go charging along. " **Hook's right. Come on**."

" **No, wait**." Emma stopped him. " **Zelena took my magic**."

Killian's heart broke a little for Emma in that moment, considering how he was the reason Zelena had been able to do that.

" **How the hell did that happen?!** " Regina demanded.

" **Doesn't matter how. It just happened. So, we need to find another way to stop her.** " Emma replied and Killian felt his whole body sag with the weight of guilt. It anything happened to the littlest royal…it'd be his fault. His selfishness was the reason Zelena was able to curse him in the first place.

Regina was in shock. " **There is no other way**."

" **That's not true**." Henry, ever the optimist, broke in. " **You can do it.** "

The others continued to talk and Killian realized they were right. Regina had broken the curse. Regina had changed a great deal, for the better, just like he had. She was no longer the evil queen, so it stood to reason that she could, in fact, use light magic. Regina seemed unconvinced, but Henry would have none of it. Killian wondered what he would have been like, growing up in the Enchanted Forest. He had all of David's bravery, Snow's optimism, and Emma's strong will. Henry probably would have been the greatest of knights, capable of inspiring men to run through a wall for him.

" **Once upon a time, you were a villain, mom."** Henry said with conviction. **"But you've changed. You're a hero now. And defeating bad guys is what heroes do. I believe in you. Now you need to believe, too**."

Killian knew the words were meant for Regina, but he took them to heart as well.

"We need a plan." Robin said, keeping a hand on Regina's back.

"She's got to protect whatever spell she's doing, and she'll be fighting Regina. Which means the Dark One will have to take care of the rest of us." Killian nodded. "No matter his powers, he can't take on four of us at once, especially if we split up."

"Split up?" David looked at him.

"No, I get what he means." Emma nodded. "If we stay far enough apart, Gold can't take us all out at once. That gives us a better shot of disrupting whatever she's doing and get the baby back."


	33. Chapter 33

A/N: This is super short, but it just flowed better for this to be a chapter unto itself. Sorry. I'll post the next chapter quickly. Usual reminders still apply: **bold** words are from the show, _italics_ are thoughts, and I own nothing but the imagination that thought up the bits not in bold. Enjoy, follow...maybe review? :)

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 33**

Finding Zelena was surprisingly easy. That much magic made it simple for Regina to track her. The five of them walked in, weapons ready, as Zelena stood in front of a giant mass of swirling colored flames. She didn't betray any nerves when David went after his son and Robin went after the heart, merely ordering the Dark One to get rid of them.

 _Good_ , Killian thought. _That means she thinks she can't be stopped. Her overconfidence is a weakness we can exploit_.

Killian and Emma moved to deal with Gold. " **Please, no more water**." Killian said.

Gold flicked Emma's gun away but left his cutlass alone.

" **Get the dagger. Then the dark one will be on your side**." Gold hissed.

" **It's easier said than done**." Emma replied, looking very vulnerable without her magic or a weapon.

Killian realized that Zelena had not been specific about her order to the Dark One, meaning he was "getting rid of them", just not very quickly, giving them a better chance at succeeding.

" **Do as I say, or I will destroy you both. I have no choice!** " Gold pushed them backwards into bales of hay, and the world went black for the second time that day.

Killian came too in time to see Robin steal Regina's heart back and Regina knocking Zelena back with the purest light magic. Regina ripped the emerald off her sister's neck and the swirling fire went back into the ground, leaving the timeline unchanged. David was about to grab the baby when they all heard the tell-tale sounds of the winged beasts that Zelena used to do her bidding. Killian looked around for his weapon, but saw Emma pick it up. _What the bloody hell I am supposed to fight with, Swan?_ But then the beast turned back into the large man that Robin had so comically called Little John.

 _It's over._ Killian let out a breath as he and the others headed for the door. The baby was safe. Time had not changed. All would be well in Storybrooke.

Killian went with the rest to the hospital. He figured some of his crew had been turned to flying monkeys, and sure enough, two were there that had magically returned to human form as soon as Little John had. After making sure they were indeed all right, Killian went up to the maternity ward. He needed to thank Emma for what she did…in all the rush and fighting, he hadn't gotten the chance to thank her for saving his life. She heard him enter and turned, a smile on her face.

 _She is beautiful_. He thought. " **Never thought I'd see one of those.** "

Emma turned and moved towards him. " **It's called a baby**."

" **No, Swan**." Killian said, raising an eyebrow. " **A smile**."

" **We won**." She replied, her smile growing a little.

Killian looked down for a moment and gathered his thoughts. They needed to talk about this. " **In all the chaos, I never got a chance to say thank you.** "

" **You really think I'd let you drown?** " Emma asked, a little taken aback.

" **Given our…history, can you blame me for being uncertain?** " He countered, smiling. Their teasing banter was making it's way back and he was rewarded with a grin that made his stomach do little flip flops. _Focus, there are things you need to know._ " **Has your power returned now that Zelena's been defeated?** "

" **No**." She replied, a little too unconcerned for his liking.

Killian felt guilty again. It was all his fault. " **I'm sorry, love**."

" **It's okay. I won't need it in New York**." Emma looked beyond him and clearly spotted Henry. " **Hey, kid. You want to meet your new uncle?** "

And with that, Killian Jones had been summarily dismissed. To be honest, he half expected that. She was still planning to run and Killian was the only one who knew it and who had pushed her not to. He watched, heart breaking, as she joined the family who she planned to run away from. And the worst part was, none of them knew it. Not even Henry. _This is wrong, Swan, and you know it_. Killian thought, watching the scene that only he realized was truly tragic. _I understand why you usually run, Swan, but I don't know why you're doing it now. Don't you see how happy you are?_ He smiled in spite of himself. _Don't you see how happy you make all of us_?


	34. Chapter 34

A/N: Usual reminders still apply: **bold** words are from the show, _italics_ are thoughts, and I own nothing but the imagination that thought up the bits not in bold. Enjoy, follow...maybe review? :)

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 34**

All victories in Storybrooke, no matter how big or small, inevitably end up with a party at Granny's. Of course, this was a double celebration. The littlest royal's name would be announced along with the obligatory celebration for defeating the Wicked Witch. All was as it should be, except Killian was still sticking to beer thanks to two rather unfortunate recent instances involving rum and hallucinating. Henry was even reading a story to the infant.

" **Really? I can't hear the kid's name yet, but I have to hear this story again?** " Emma smirked.

David responded well to the teasing. " **Well, my son should know where he comes from**."

" **Are you sure you want the first thing he knows to be that his parents fell in love during an armed robbery?** " Emma asked.

Mary Margaret jumped in immediately. " **I wasn't armed!** "

Killian smirked at the good natured ribbing Snow White was receiving from her husband and friend. _This is certainly a more interesting story than I ever thought_.

Mary Margaret ignored them and spoke to her son. " **But that's just how we met. It's not how we fell in love**."

" **Yeah, that was a bit more complicated**." David turned the page. " **See? There were Black Knights, and I saved your mother's life**."

Killian cut his eyes over to Emma to gauge her reaction. They'd certainly done that a time or two.

Mary Margaret wasn't having it as she turned the page again. " **And the attack on the Troll Bridge when I saved his.** "

David turned the page yet again. " **But it wasn't until I saw my mother's ring on her finger that I knew in my heart there was no other woman I would ever love**."

" **You should've told me then. We would have saved so much time.** " She looked up at her husband.

" **Well, how could I?** " David asked. " **I had to get to my wedding**."

Killian furrowed his brow. _Wedding?_ " **Sorry, did I miss something? You were previously betrothed, mate?** "

Ruby nodded towards a blonde woman talking to Granny. " **To Kathryn. Though, she was Princess Abigail back then**."

 _Abigail…Abigail…_ " **King Midas' daughter? The man who can turn anything into gold?** " Killian asked. " **Why would you leave that opportunity?** "

Mary Margaret gave him an indignant " **Hey!** " as Emma slapped Killian's arm.

" **Well, what can I say,** " David shrugged, " **my heart was destined for another.** "

 **"** **You just had to find her first.** " Ruby added, then explained as this part of the story was apparently missing from the book. " **She ran away and was living on a farm**."

" **Oh, that sounded like such a peaceful life at the time**." Mary Margaret shook her head. " **Leave everyone and everything behind**."

 _Well that sounds familiar…_ Killian thought, and added out loud " **Like mother, like daughter.** "

Emma glared at him. " **Hook.** "

" **What is he talking about?** " Henry asked.

Killian almost felt like explaining further, but then he realized his miscalculation: he'd assumed Emma had at least told her parents, but the look on their faces betrayed their shock. _It's out there now, Swan, you've got to deal with it_.

David clearly felt bad for Emma as he hastily suggested they read some more stories. But it was to no avail, as Regina had overheard. _I didn't mean for it to go this far, Swan. But you've got to face this sooner or later, you can't just steal off into the night_.

" **Actually, I'd like to know what the pirate is talking about**." Regina said.

" **It's nothing**." Emma looked at her mother and Henry.

" **You're not planning on going back to New York, are you?** " Regina asked.

Henry clearly thought they were not. " **Why would we go back to New York?** "

Regina's smile was like not friendly. " **You're not. Right, Ms. Swan?** "

" **Actually, it's complicated.** " Emma replied and Killian looked down, feeling guilty. He had not meant for Emma to get railroaded by the ex-evil queen.

" **Why would we leave?** " Henry asked. " **This is our home.** "

" **Henry, this isn't the time or place.** " Emma clearly did _not_ want to have this conversation.

" **I think it is.** " Regina challenged.

" **No, it's not**." Emma turned on a heal and left.

 _That did not go well._ Killian sighed. " **I'll talk to her.** "

Killian set down his beer, and before he could turn, Henry had closed up the story book and was handing it to him. " **Wait, take this. It might help her remember where she belongs**."

Killian shoved the book in his rucksack and walked out to find Emma. She had two spots she went to when she needed to think: the docks and the lake. Since the lake was much closer to Granny's, Killian decided to check there first.

" **You're making a mistake**." He said, as a way of announcing his presence. He did probably need to apologize, but Killian thought for sure she'd at least told her parents and Henry about her plans.

Emma was still irritated with him. " **I don't want to talk to you about this**."

 _Enough, Swan. You're being ridiculous_. " **Don't listen to me, listen to your son**." Killian handed her the book. " **He thought this might remind you of what you're leaving behind -your family.** "

" **Henry is my family and I am taking him where he is safe.** " Emma repeated her tired old reasoning which was no longer going to fly.

Killian called her on it. " **No, Swan. The safety-first nonsense is just that. You defeated the bloody Wicked Witch. You defeated Pan. You broke the curse. And you keep running. What are you looking for?** "

" **Home**." She answered quietly.

 _Finally, we're getting somewhere._ " **And that's in New York?** " He asked. " **That wasn't real**." _You have to let it go, Emma. You know it wasn't real and you know it will never make you truly happy. It's just safer emotionally for you._

Emma still clung to her sanctuary of no emotional entanglements. " **The last year was**."

" **They were false memories. It was based on magical nonsense**." Killian countered. _You cannot be serious, Swan_.

" **Now we have our memories back. Now we can make it real**." She replied.

 _I do not understand, Swan. New York is just a city, a crowded and dirty one at that._ " **Why can't you do that here with your entire family**?" _Do you know how lucky you are to have them?_

Emma grabbed storybook from him. " **Because of this. I don't see my family here. I see... fairy tales. I see stories of princes and princesses. It-It's not me. I was never a part of any of this**."

" **Then what are you a part of, Swan?** " Killian asked, sitting down. This conversation was reminding him of one they had over a year ago, where Emma was convincing _him_ to be a part of something.

" **Besides being with Henry, I don't think I've ever been a part of anything**." Emma admitted.

 _Because you won't allow yourself to let people in._ Killian thought. Then he remembered what she had said to him with the bean in Granny's diner so long ago. " **You could be**." It felt like she was at a similar turning point. Hopefully she would figure it out faster than he did.

" **Look, when I was a kid, I ran away. It's just what I did**." Emma explained. " **But the first time I did it, I had the same exact thought. I wondered, What if I'm making a mistake? What if I miss this place**?"

" **Did you?** " He asked.

Emma shook her head. " **Not the first time. Not any time.** "

Killian was finally beginning to understand. " **So you just keep running.** "

" **I learned something a long time ago, Hook.** " She said sadly. " **Home is the place when you leave, you just miss it. so, yeah, I'm gonna keep running until I feel that**."

 **"** **So you're just gonna leave your parents, then. Do you even care about them, or anyone in this town?** " Killian's voice broke slightly as his control on his emotions slipped just for a moment. _This is not about you, it's about her! Keep it together man!_

" **Of course I care**." Emma replied. " **I just have to do what's right for me and Henry and—** "

Emma trailed off as she looked away from him, a tinge of emotion in her voice as well.

Her whole body tensed and Killian turned to see what it was. A giant yellow beam was shooting up into the sky.

" **What the hell is that?** " Emma asked.

Killian studied the beam. " **I have no idea**." _But it certainly isn't anything good._

Emma set the book down and stood. " **I'm checking this out**."

Killian grabbed the book, and ran off after her calling for her to stop. Their trek took them to the farmhouse Zelena had used to create her failed time portal, and the light was shooting right out of the roof of the building. _I have a bad feeling about this._ Killian thought.

" **Whatever's going on in there, it can't be good.** " He said.

Emma had her phone up to her ear, listening to something. " **It's Zelena's time portal. David left a message. Somehow she died and triggered it.** "

She moved to open the door, but Killian grabbed her arm. " **Wait! Let's get out of here.** " _Why am I always the bloody voice of reason?_

" **Not until we find a way to close it.** "

 _How do you plan to do that, Swan?_ " **You got your magic back?** "

" **No**." Emma replied.

" **Well then, we're not bloody well messing with any of this!** " He said. " **Let's go!** "

Before they could move away, and Killian wasn't entirely sure she planned on moving away, the doors flew open and pulled the two of them towards the glowing, swirling vortex.

Desperately, Killian grabbed for a hold with his hook and managed to anchor himself, grabbing on to Emma's hand to keep her safe as well. " **Hold on!** " He yelled.

Emma was clearly struggling, and he watched in horror as the seem on his coat began to rip. " **I can't!** " She yelled and the cuff came free, sending her flying into the vortex.

 _I can't let her go there alone_. Killian sighed. " **One of these days, I'm gonna stop chasing this woman.** "

And with that, he let himself get dragged into the vortex right behind Swan.


	35. Chapter 35

A/N: Probably the last update until New Years (sorry guys, holidays!) But here's a nice long chapter for you! Usual reminders still apply: **bold** words are from the show, _italics_ are thoughts, and I own nothing but the imagination that thought up the bits not in bold. Enjoy, follow...maybe review? :)

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

 **Chapter 35**

Killian hit the ground hard, and as he stood up, he felt his stomach plummet. They were in the bloody Enchanted Forest.

" **Appears we're back in the Enchanted Forest.** " He sighed, more for Emma's benefit than his own.

" **Yeah, I got that**." Emma replied, dusting herself off.

Killian looked around. It was hard to tell what era of Enchanted Forest history they were in from just the trees. " **The only question is when**?" But Emma didn't appear to be listening, she seemed to be looking at something. " **Swan**?"

" **I've got a pretty good idea**." She said, and Killian didn't like her tone as she moved closer to a tree.

He then noticed the sign. It was a familiar one, they'd been posted all over the Enchanted Forest before the curse, when Regina was looking for Snow White to kill her. _Well, it could be worse_. Killian thought. " **I suppose we're lucky we wound up in this time. We could've appeared in the middle of the Ogre Wars or smack dab in the belly of a whale**."

Emma didn't appear to be listening, she had the story book out and was flipping through it. " **Why are you reading that now?** " He asked.

" **Cause when we were falling through, I was thinking about Henry and the story we were all reading at Granny's**." Emma explained.

Killian began putting the pieces together. " **You think that time portals work like any other sort? They take you back to where you're thinking of**?" _So we're in the past, specifically when Snow and the Prince met._

" **Not where**." She corrected. " **When**."

" **Excellent deduction**." He nodded, having already reached that conclusion. " **Alas, it appears they share another quality - they don't stay open for the return trip**."

" **Nope. We're trapped in the past. I should have left Storybrooke the instant we defeated Zelena**." Emma began, and Killian knew what was coming next: the New York is safe excuse. At this point he wasn't even listening, really. He didn't have to.

When she finished, Killian gave her a cheerful look. " **On the bright side real estate's much more reasonable here**."

" **Don't**." Emma warned.

" **I understand your frustration. But we've been in dire straits before. There's no need to be antsy. We have our wits**." Killian tried his best to be reassuring. " **We just have to focus on being constructive**." He looked around thoughtfully. " **So, any ideas how to go back?** "

" **How would I know how to get back to the future? Who do I look like? Marty McFly?** " Emma demanded.

 _You've lost me now, Swan_. " **Marty Mc - who?** "

Emma began explaining, and Killian immediately knew it was one of those movies that the Storybrooke First Curse residents (affectionately known as natives) seemed to love watching. _I'm not going to have a frame of reference for whatever she was talking about except - did she just say back in time?_ " **Is he some sort of wizard?** " Killian interrupted.

Emma shook her head. " **No, Marty McFly is not a wizard. He's - Maybe a wizard is exactly what we need. We could find Rumplestiltskin**."

Killian heard the sound of hoofbeats and immediately sprung into action, momentarily forgetting her idea to find the Dark One. He pushed Emma towards the tree so they would be out of sight. " **Black knights.** " He warned. _Well. That was never a good sign._ Killian thought as they watched the knights ride by. _Black Knights usually just means…meant? one person…_

Sure enough, as the knights were organizing the peasants, a large black carriage approached and the Evil Queen stepped out of her coach. And this was the Evil Queen, _not_ Regina. If the crazy black leather didn't give it away, then the demeanor did. As Killian listened to her speak, he finally realized just how much Regina had changed. _I couldn't take her seriously if she said all of this 'squalor and despair peasants' nonsense now_.

" **That's Regina**." Emma whispered, and it sounded like she was shocked. Emma had never really seen Regina like this. Sure, she'd seen evil Mayor Mills, but even that version of Regina was much nicer than the Evil Queen.

" **Not Regina, love.** " Hook corrected her. " **The Evil Queen**."

Emma seemed to understand what he meant. " **She's even worse without the sensible pantsuits**."

They watched as the Evil Queen interrogated and threatened the villagers. The Queen revealed a poor peasant woman who had apparently aided Snow White in some way and was now facing death for it. The poor woman begged for help, which would not come. Killian felt, more than saw, Emma move toward the woman and caught her quickly.

" **Wait. What are you doing?** " He asked.

" **I'm helping that woman.** " Emma answered. " **She's just an innocent -** "

Killian interrupted her quickly. " **No, Swan. When Belle figured out Zelena wanted to change the past she warned us it was dangerous. Messing with events could do untold damage to all of us.** "

Emma didn't like it. " **I'm supposed to let her rot or die?** "

 _How do I always end up being the bloody voice of reason on these adventures?_ " **Whatever her fate we can't interfere**." He insisted. " **Not, if we want a chance at getting back to the world we know**."

" **We need to find Rumple.** " She sighed. " **The sooner we get out of here, the better.** "

" **Aye. Agreed**." Killian said, but grabbed her arm before she could leave. _We can't go traipsing after the bloody Dark One with you dressed like the Savior from Storybrooke, Swan_. " **There's one thing we need to do first**."

Finding a laundry line out of the way was not too difficult. Fortunately, it seemed that there were plenty of clothes so Killian stole a whole set and presented it to Emma.

"Time to blend in." He said.

She groaned and disappeared behind a bank of tree stumps and bushes that provided privacy. It seemed to take quite a while.

"You have got to be kidding me." He heard Emma curse as she apparently got dressed.

" **Come on, Swan, let's get a look**." Killian said and she stepped - more like struggled - out.

His first glance told him everything he needed to know: corsets did wonders for a woman's assets. Killian couldn't help giving her a good once-over. " **Oh, well, that's much better.** "

" **Is this really necessary**?" Emma asked as she put on her gloves.

 _Right. Focus on her face. Focus on the problem._ " **What would you have done if Regina had spotted you back there**?" Killian countered.

" **My guess? Run**." She replied.

Killian knew he needed to explain further. After all, he hadn't had a chance to tell her what Belle found, and he hadn't thought anyone else needed to know the details other than time travel was dangerous. " **And even if we had, she'd seen you. She might remember you when you first arrive in Storybrooke.** "

Emma was a little incredulous." **She's gonna remember a glimpse of a face 30 years from now?** "

" **The point is to minimize you making a lasting impression**." Killian said, and couldn't help his eyes wandering down her body again. " **Sadly, red leather jackets don't come into vogue here. Ever**." _Think of how lovely she'd look in that corset with the red jacket…and maybe those black pants…focus, Jones._ He commanded himself and scratched behind his ear uncomfortably.

Emma fidgeted, trying to get comfortable in the restrictive garment. " **Fine. The only lasting impression I'm concerned about right now, is what this corset is making on my spleen**."

Killian's eyes were wandering south of her face but he couldn't help it. Emma was a beautiful woman. " **Your discomfort is a cross I'm willing to bear**." He finally commanded his eyes to look up at her face and was rewarded with an eye roll and smile for his last comment.

 _Keep it together, mate, you are not at a bar flirting, you are in a serious situation_. _One wrong move and you could destroy the entire future._ " **Nothing compared to what might happen if we affect the timeline which means proceeding with all caution**." Killian warned and pulled Emma's hood up, covering her lovely long blonde hair some. " **You're not from a world of magic. I am. Even the smallest of changes could have catastrophic consequences. Things must happen as they always did**."

He set off into the forest, Emma behind him, and on up to the road where they walked side-by-side in silence. _Swan, the things I do for you. Do you even realize what a terrible state you'd be in if I didn't follow you in to that blasted portal? Of course, if you'd listened to me we wouldn't have been that near the portal in the first place…_

Killian's thoughts were interrupted and he and Emma both turned towards the sound of hooves. He grabbed her arm. " **It could be the Queen again**."

They hid off the road behind a fallen log as a white carriage with several knights rode up and stopped at a log across the road. The knights seemed to be saying something to someone inside the carriage when that someone stepped out.

" **Is that-?** " 

Killian nodded. **"Your father. We should go.** " Killian was thinking of the millions of ways father and daughter could mess up the timeline if they stayed. Emma was in awe, she'd never really seen Prince Charming in full on Prince mode before, _though the man did still carry a sword around so he hadn't changed too much_. 

Emma looked up and Killian followed suit. There was a figure in the tree. Emma's face broke into a grin. _What's going on Swan?_ Killian thought as she crouched back down and broke a twig. It hadn't made much noise, but in the silence it sounded like a gun shot. The person in the tree fell from her perch, and watched the knights for a moment before deciding to flee. Emma looked back and forth between her father and the fleeing person again, a look of panic seeping its way on to her features. He couldn't ask yet, however, and they waited in silence until the carriage had rolled away. Emma watched them go with a strange look on her face.

" **You know that thing about small changes having consequences?** " Emma asked, and with a grunt of assent Killian turned to look at her, feeling more and more concerned. Emma continued with trepidation in her voice. **"What about big changes?** "

Killian was confused. Nothing had happened. No one had seen them. **"Why? What did we do?** "

" **That bandit was Snow White. This was the moment my parents first met.** " Emma explained and Killian felt his heart plummet.

" **And because of us, now they didn't**. **"** He said, and immediately began thinking of the consequences. No meeting means no curse, which means no frozen in time and no Storybrooke. No meeting means no Emma. Or Henry. Or Killian Jones. Because, if he was being honest with himself, he never would have changed _this much_ without her. _And to be perfectly honest, I don't want to live in a world without Emma Swan._


	36. Chapter 36

AN: 36 chapters and not anywhere near the end. Wow. Happy New Year, folks! This was one of my favorite sections to write, I absolutely **love** the fact that 3x21 and 3x22 (the finale of season 3) were totally Captain Swan, through and through, but in a fun way. So, my jaunt into Killian's head continues. As always, I own nothing, bold words are from the show, italics are thoughts, and...reviews are welcome? Happy 2016!

Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?

Chapter 36

It was not far to the Dark One's castle, half a day's walk at their somewhat quick pace, but Killian's feet felt heavier and heavier as they drew closer. This was not Mr. Gold who could be reasoned with - though to be fair Gold was still a terrible person - this was the full-fledged Dark One who was spinning deals and manipulating the citizens of the Enchanted Forest. The Dark One who would kill him on sight. _I just hope you're ready with an explanation, Swan, or you're going to be on your own._ Sooner than Killian liked, they were in view of the castle.

He pointed it out to her. " **Look ahead, Swan. The Dark One's castle"**

" **A little more imposing than the pawnshop."** Emma remarked. " **So, what do we do now? Knock on the door and introduce ourselves? Hey. We're from the future.** "

 _This might need to be as far as I go._ " **Might be best if I stay back. The Dark One and I have a rather complicated past. I'd wager he want to kill me on sight.** "

" **Oh, I'll take that bet.** " A familiar voice said causing Killian and Emma to both turn around. Rumplestiltskin giggled excitedly. " **I can't tell you how long I've been looking forward to this. Oops. I suppose I just did.** "

Rumplestiltskin flicked his wrist and Killian felt his throat constrict. He tried to tell Emma to start talking or run, but the only thing came out was " **Swan!** " _Come on Swan! I'm not going to die in the past at the hands of the bloody Dark One!_

" **Stop!** " Emma exclaimed, panicked.

Rumplestiltskin simply flung her aside. " **I don't know who you are, dearie, but why don't you run off and let me enjoy my killing in peace."**

Killian felt his throat getting tighter and tighter. First the bloody witch had him drowned, now the Dark One had him in a magical choke-hold. _I know now I prefer death by sword. This is awful._

Emma was quickly up on her feet, arguing with Rumplestiltskin to let him go. The Dark One didn't seem to care. Finally, Emma pulled out the trump card: " **Because if you don't you'll never see your son again."**

Rumplestiltskin paused for a moment. _If this doesn't work, I'm a goner._ Killian thought as he began to black out. _Sorry, Emma._

Just before he lost consciousness, Rumplestiltskin released Killian, and he fell to the ground with a groan.

" **What do you know of my son?** " The Dark One demanded.

" **His name is Baelfire. You're planning to enact a curse in hopes of reuniting with him.** " Emma explained.

Rumplestiltskin looked confused, and a little thrown. " **Who told you that? What are you? Some kind of witch?"**

" **No, I'm not a witch. I'm the one who breaks the curse so that you can find him. I'm the product of true love.** " Emma said, and Killian knew that had to be hard for her. She was still only just accepting her parents as her parents, then there was that whole pesky wanting to move back to New York to get away from the emotionally complicated, and probably somewhat crazy, life she had in Storybrooke.

" **That's speculation. Part of my plans. But I haven't done it.** " Rumplestilskin was confused, for once in his immortal life, and Killian took a little secret pleasure in that.

" **You will and you will succeed.** " Emma assured him.

The Dark One was catching on. " **If that's true, then that means-** "

" **We're from the future, mate."** Killian interrupted, knowing that Rumplestiltskin wouldn't hurt him and honestly wanted to get in a few digs.

" **But time travel hasn't been done, mate."** The Dark One snapped back.

Emma sighed. " **Yeah, well. Someone's cracked that code. We need your help."**

" **Help**?" Rumplestiltskin did that annoying giggle again. _What is that? He didn't do that as a man, surely._ " **You need my help? Then answer me one question: Do I find my son?"**

 _Don't answer, Swan. He can't know too much about the future. That's got to be just about as dangerous as changing the future._ Killian watched as she hesitated, which clearly angered the Dark One, and he demanded that Emma answer him.

" **Yes**." Emma looked down.

 _Oh, Swan. I know this is painful, but you've got to keep your wits about you._ Killian thought as Rumplestiltskin muttered to himself about finding Bae, the emotion in his voice hit Killian, and he realized how much he missed his friend, and he felt himself sympathizing, just a little, with the Dark One for the first time. _But only a tiny bit_.

" **Don't tell me**." The Dark One Held up a hand, realizing the problem with too much knowledge. " **If I succeeded, I don't want anything in my head that might throw it off"**

" **It might already kind of be thrown off."** Emma confessed.

 _Kind of? Swan, it's very thrown off._ Killian thought.

Rumplestiltskin stared at her for a moment, incredulous. " **You've changed things. What have you done?"**

Emma looked at him but there was nothing to it but to tell the Dark One the truth. " **We interrupted my parents meeting**."

Rumplestiltskin whisked them to his palace and led them to the library, which was clearly set up to be his office of sorts, where he made all his deals. _Emma, darling, you're babbling - a bit of a nervous habit of yours I'm noticing - which normally is somewhat adorable, but today is very stressful._ Killian thought as he listened to her talk. Who knew what damage she could do with a misspoken word? But then the Dark One was pointing at him. _I was wondering when we'd get to this…_

" **Why haven't I killed him**?" Rumplestiltskin asked.

Killian held out his hands in a bit of a mocking shrug. " **If it makes you feel any better, it wasn't for lack of efforts. Let's just say we bury the hatchet**."

" **Yes.** " The Dark One replied. " **But why not in your skull?** "

Before anyone could respond, Belle walked in. Killian looked down in frustration - the more people they encountered in the past, the worse it was going to be.

Then Emma turned around and said " **Belle** ", like she was greeting an old friend.

 _Dammit Swan!_ Killian thought, and suppressed a groan when she told Belle that the Dark One had mentioned her. _If it was an appropriate time to "face palm" as the boy calls it, I would. You, darling, are a terrible time traveler._

Rumplestiltskin seemed to be on the same path of preserving the timeline and sent Belle away, rather rudely, but he _was_ the Dark One.

" **It's a miracle you two fall for each other.** " Emma muttered.

 _I now fully understand the concept of face palming, I will have to tell Henry. Providing, of course, that he exists when we return._ Killian sighed.

Unfortunately, the Dark One heard her and was asking questions.

 _Enough._ Killian thought and spoke up. " **Yes. She has a strange sense of humor. But let's get back to her parents**."

" **Yes. Who are they?** " Rumplestiltskin asked.

Emma explained the whole story of who they were and how they were supposed to meet. " **See, that's what I'm trying to tell you. This marriage isn't supposed to happen because the ring he was going to give her gets stolen by Snow**."

" **It's quite a tale you're spinning.** " The Dark One said.

" **Here, let me show you. It's in the book**." Emma turned to Killian and he pulled out the story book. But when she turned the pages, there was nothing there. " **Wait. What?** "

" **It's all gone.** " Killian said, a niggling of the cause forming in his brain, and it wasn't a pleasant thought. " **Anything that was supposed to happen after they met has disappeared**."

" **The ripple effect**." Rumplestiltskin trilled his r's dramatically. " **Once you change something in the past, anything from that point forward becomes uncertain. The future, as you can see, is a blank page**."

" **We need to get Snow to steal that ring, so we can put their story back on track**." Emma's voice was stronger, glad to have a plan.

" **You're in luck.** " The Dark One explained. " **There's a ball tonight at King Midas' castle. Prince James will be there and so will his ring**."

" **So, we just need to get Snow there**." She nodded.

Killian wasn't as convinced of the plan. " **How? We don't even know where she is**."

Rumplestiltskin held up a hand. " **Allow me**."

The Dark One walked over to his crystal ball and Killian and Emma followed.

Emma brightened a bit at seeing her mother. " **There she is**."

" **She's with Black Beard. She's trying to secure passage on his ship**." Killian explained, recognizing the pirate.

" **And, it appears failing**." Rumplestiltskin added.

" **She can't escape the Queen without the money she's supposed to get for the ring**." Emma reasoned, and turned to the Dark One. " **Can you help us**?"

" **Help you? I can work on get your portal to the future open again. But getting your parents together? You made that mess, dearie. Only you know what you did. Now go, undo it.** " Rumplestiltskin said dismissively.

Killian got an idea. " **If she's looking for passage out of town I might know a ship's captain who might help us**."

" **Who**?" Emma asked.

He smiled and raised an eyebrow. " **Me.** "

Emma turned back to Rumplestiltskin. "One more thing you can do for us."

The Dark One raised an eyebrow, but, Killian thought simply because of Emma's pluck, he granted her request and sent them to the harbor.

"That didn't go too badly." Emma sighed. "How close…"

"Very." Killian replied, rubbing his neck. "Good thing you brought up Bae."

"Well, he did die for him once." She shrugged and turned to him. "Now where to?"

"A tavern." He smiled. "Normally I'd be happy to take you to a tavern, after visiting the Rabbit Hole, I think you'd like it."

"But?" Emma prompted.

"Never mind." Killian shook his head. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something about this felt like a bad idea. He couldn't find any alternative, however, this was their best bet. "It's the right move. Let's go find myself."

They made there way to a table where they had a good view of Hook without being seen. Killian kept his collar up and his head down. They watched for a bit, sipping their drinks, as Hook and his crew played dice.

This has got to be the strangest thing I have ever done. Killian thought as he watched himself. Then it hit him: the bad feeling he had was about _himself_. _Emma's going to have to distract me. Yes, I somewhat had a code of honor but that man there…what will she think?_

 _She can't know that I have any reservations, but I'm going to warn her_. " **There I am. Rather dashing, don't you think**?" Killian asked, using humor to cover his own insecurities.

" **Is this even a good idea**?" Emma asked. " **What about preserving the future**?"

" **It'll be fine. Given what I'm drinking, if I remember anything, I'll simply blame the rum.** " Killian shrugged and turned back to her. " **Just make sure that I - he - remains occupied. Doesn't return to my ship. I'll take care of the rest**."

" **Okay.** " Emma sighed and pulled back her hood.

Then she started doing the strangest thing - she started unlacing the bloody corset. " **Wait. What are you doing?** " He asked, his voice going up almost a whole octave out of shock.

" **Making sure he stays occupied. Shouldn't be difficult. You and I both know I'm his type**." Emma said, and stood.

 _No, no, no, Swan. This is a terrible idea_. Killian stood to stop her. " **Swan, that man sitting there…you don't know him. Just be careful**."

Emma smiled. " **If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're jealous.** "

Killian didn't say a word, he couldn't, because it was true. He took one last look at her face and her assets and left the tavern quickly. He didn't want to watch Emma fawn all over his past self. That man didn't deserve her.


	37. Chapter 37

AN: When I started this, I had no idea of it going beyond Neverland. Now we're on the cusp of Season 4. (Not to worry, there's another chapter or five left in season 3. Maybe more.) I hope this helps tide you over until March. As always, I own nothing, bold words are from the show, italics are thoughts, and...review maybe? Enjoy!

Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?

Chapter 37

Brooding the whole time, Killian made his way to the _Jolly Roger_. Stepping on board for the first time in months lifted his spirits somewhat and he managed to stop Smee from killing a rat. _Fate is a funny thing, indeed._

" **Captain. I wasn't expecting you back from the tavern so early.** " Smee said. " **Vermin. I'll get the bugger, sir**."

Again, Killian stopped the man. " **Let it be. You'll understand someday, Smee**."

" **Is that a new vest?** " Smee asked.

" **Of course not**." Killian bit back, trying to get the Captain Hook persona back in place. _Of course Smee would notice my vest. And now the bloody observant little man is asking me if I feel fine. Come on, Jones, think like Hook._

" **Maybe, that's because I'm used to my first mate asking me what his captain needs when he's on deck**." Killian said, evenly but dangerously.

The first mate snapped to attention. " **Of course. Sorry. Is there anything I can do for you, sir?** "

Killian explained what he needed and, like the loyal man he was, Smee set about doing it immediately. Now that he had other things on his mind besides revenge, Killian finally realized the value of the man. Smee was observant, loyal, and helpful, though not always the brightest person. He headed down to the cabin, secure in the knowledge that Smee would get Snow on board.

 _Hello old friend_. He thought as he made he way through the ship. I _t's good to see you again_.

Killian knew he'd done the right thing in trading her, but this was the ship that housed Bae for a time. It's where Liam had drawn his last breath. Where Milah had died. It'd been home for two hundred years. Right choice or not, his decision didn't make the sacrifice hurt any less.

"If I never see you again, darling, you were wonderful." He whispered to the ship and then got into place. It was vital that Snow White not see his face. The hook, if she caught a glimpse of it, was fine. He was known, yes, but a pampered princess and runaway was not likely to know her pirates, especially given her stance both in the tavern and at the docks. They betrayed her lack of comfort in those locations. Thief, yes, but Snow White wasn't truly a criminal in the strictest sense of the word, so it seemed right that she was very naive about the seedy underworld of the realm.

Killian's musings were interrupted by the woman herself climbing down. _Show time_. He thought, and started in on his speech.

The whole thing went smoothly. Snow White took the job and was out of there with very little fuss. Killian put the cabin back in order, knowing himself, he would notice if things were suddenly in the wrong places and might not think it was the rum. He turned after straightening the last thing to see Emma climbing down.

Her eyes went wide when she saw him. " **What are you doing here**?"

" **I could ask the same of you**." Killian retorted. " **I thought I told you to keep him occupied.** "

" **I am**." Emma answered.

" **By taking him back to my ship?** " He demanded.

She immediately corrected him. " **His ship**."

" **You know what I mean**."

" **I stalled as long as I could. I thought you'd be gone by now**." Emma explained. " **I'll try to keep him above deck so you can get out of here**."

But that was not in the cards. Killian heard the door opened and dove for cover. Emma turned to greet his past self.

" **Where may you be going**?" Hook asked, and Killian could tell his past self was very drunk. " **I do hope you're not having second thoughts**."

" **No. I just got tired of waiting**." Emma grabbed his lapels and kissed him, letting out a little giggle as she turned them around.

Only the fact that Emma was clearly playing a part and not totally into the kiss kept Killian moving towards the door.

" **Apologies**." Hook rubbed her shoulder. " **A woman as beautiful as you deserves my full and prompt attention**."

Killian watched as his past self moved Emma towards the table. _That's it. I'm stopping this nonsense_. Killian grabbed his past self's shoulder and turned him around, slugging him and knocking him out.

" **Are you kidding me? How's that not gonna have consequences?** " Emma demanded.

" **He was asking for it. And like I said he'll blame the rum. Let's get out of here**." Killian kept his voice even, trying to calm the fury he was feeling towards himself. Like Regina, he hadn't thought about how much he'd changed until he saw his past self in action. He was still angry as they climbed out of the cabin. hating that Emma had seen him like that.

"You know, you were right." Emma said after a while of walking in silence. They were making their way to Midas's castle, which was fortunately quite close to the harbor.

"About what?" Killian asked, finally having gained control of his tumultuous emotions.

"That man wasn't really you." She shrugged. "It was, you know, all the eyebrow raising and innuendoes. But it didn't feel like I was talking to _you_."

"Well, that's who I was." He shrugged. "I hope it is no longer who I am."

"Yeah. I still don't think you needed to hit him that hard."

"Oh, I did. Trust me, Swan, he deserved that. Remember, I was him, I know what he was thinking." Killian smiled. "This is by far one of the strangest things that has ever happened to me."

"Which is saying a lot because, aren't you like, ancient?"

"Two centuries does not make one ancient, Swan." He shook his head, glad they were back to teasing one another. Killian wanted to bring up a lot of things right now, like her moving to New York or this…thing they had between them, but he hesitated. Killian refused to believe it was one-sided. Not after the way Swan had acted this whole trip and even before, in Storybrooke. The past or not, whether she liked him or not, this was still Emma and that required patience and time and knowing when to push and when not to. Now was not the time to push.

"I can't blame you. Punching yourself in the face…that has got to be weird." Emma shook her head, and bit her lip to keep in her laughter.

"Go ahead and laugh, Swan." Killian chuckled. "It is pretty amusing."

Emma let out a giggle and soon they were both laughing. The whole situation was frankly, ludicrous, so the only solution was to have a good laugh.

"Well, I'll finally have a story to top Robin." Killian said after they'd calmed down.

"Oh?"

"Swan, part of the whole men-in-a-tavern scene is one-upping each other with stories. Particularly exaggerated examples of our prowess or power or the strange things that happen to us. In Storybrooke, we have no shortage of strange, but I do believe knocking out my past self in order to repair a mistake in the timeline has got to take the cake. I mean, the men turned into monkeys can't even beat that one." He explained.

"You and Robin are, what, _mates_?" She imitated his accent terribly.

Killian rolled his eyes. "You've got to stop trying to copy me accent Swan, you're terrible at it. And are you really surprised that the pirate and the thief are friends?"

"No, I guess not." Emma shook her head as they made their way through the forest.

Killian realized they had reached their destination. "Ah, here we go." He sat down on a log in front of the lake and patted it. "We should be able to see some of what's happening from right here."

Emma sat down next to him and put her head in her hands, looking across the water to Midas's castle. "Can we get a closer look?"

"Perhaps a bit closer." He said, remembering the spyglass in his coat. He pulled it out and looked through it. " **A predictable access of pomp and grandeur. Snow should have no trouble sneaking inside**."

" **What about us? We're supposed to just sit here and hope that she pulls it off**?" Emma asked. " **I don't like leaving things to chance**."

" **You know, I feel exactly the same way, which is why I never do**." A voice to the left of them startled them both and had them both standing and looking over to see Rumplestiltskin. He produced a piece of paper magically. " **See? An invitation to the ball.** "

" **So, you'll be inside to watch out for her?** " Emma asked.

" **No. No. I'll be far too busy sorting out how to get you home.** " The Dark One replied.

 _Bloody unhelpful imp._ Killian thought. " **Well, who's the invitation for?** "

" **Well, isn't it obvious?** " Rumplestiltskin asked.

 _Clearly not if we can't figure it out. Surely you don't mean…_ but then the Dark One pointed at them. " **The two of you**." He said.

 _Let's make sure you can get us home, Crocodile._ " **So, when we're done inside, you can open our portal?** " Killian asked.

Rumplestiltskin explained his plan with a wand that he " **came to posses** " which Killian knew meant stole or forced or murdered for. But whatever he'd done to get it was already done, and it would get them home. With that settled, Rumplestiltskin handed the invitation to Killian.

" **Please do it quickly. We'll be in and out before you know it. I want to get the hell out of here**." Emma said, and Killian heartily agreed. Having lived through the past once, he really would rather not be stuck in it.

" **Uh, confidence. I like it.** " The Dark One said, but stopped them when they turned to leave. **"Wait. Not like that.** "

Then he did that damned annoying giggle again and Killian felt himself enveloped in red smoke. When it dissipated, Killian noticed he was wearing a very nice coat and his hook was gone, replaced with a fake hand.

" **The savior can't come this far and not play princess for a day**." The imp giggled again.

Killian looked over at Emma, who looked stunning. Red was certainly her color, and that dress…he tried to remain focused on the problem at hand but he gave her a good look and decided that the Enchanted Forest style suited her _very_ well.

" **But, I'm not supposed to stick out. What if someone remembers me in the future?** " Emma asked, concerned.

Rumplestiltskin gave her a look. " **Because what you had before was such an intricate disguise? Now, speaking of which I've returned those stole rags. Luckily, before they were missed**." He continued, " **I mean, it's a miracle the timeline hasn't imploded already. Amateurs. Allow me**."

The Dark One magically produced a mirror and showed the two that more than their clothes had been changed. It was like looking at two strangers wearing the same clothes as them.

" **A glamour spell. This is how you shall appear to one and all.** " Rumplestiltskin explained. " **Now, run along and do everything you can to make sure Snow White gets that ring. Once they're back on track, everything else will be, too.** "

With that, the Dark One vanished.

"Shall we, Swan?" Killian held out his arm and she laced her hand through it.


	38. Chapter 38

AN: Ah, the ball. I loved this scene. I'm going to get into more stuff that wasn't in the show, but this who episode was SO good and SO important I had to include a lot of it. As always, I own nothing, bold words are from the show, italics are thoughts, and...review maybe? Enjoy!

Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?

Chapter 38

They walked right into the castle without a second glance from anyone and Killian handed their invitation to the valet as smoothly as someone who'd been doing this all their life. Which, of course, he had done more than his fair share of events like this in his Navy days and after.

Emma had quickly discovered that her dress was just as uncomfortable as the first. " **Just when I thought the clothes here couldn't get any worse**."

" **You might not be able to move, Swan, but you cut quite the figure in that dress**." Killian smiled and gave her he best flirtatious once-over.

Instead of rolling her eyes, Emma smiled proudly and looked down, a little embarrassed by the compliment. _Come on, Swan, you've got to know you're a beautiful woman._ Killian was about to tell her again how very much he appreciated the effect of corsets on her when they were startled by the approach of King Midas himself.

" **Greetings. I'm King Midas, father of the bride.** " The elegant, glitteringly dressed man said. " **Who do I have the honor to welcome into my home?** "

" **I'm…Prince…** " Killian trailed off. _We didn't bloody think of this_! _Da-_

" **Charles.** " Emma finished for him, not quite smoothly but smooth enough. " **Prince Charles. And I'm princess…Leia**."

On cue, the two of them bowed and curtsied. Killian hoped Midas would assume it was because they were in awe of all the gold on him, not because they were here with motives other than wishing the bride and groom well. _Which, really mate, I love gold as much as the next pirate but that's a bit much to wear it head to toe_.

Midas bowed slightly. " **I'm honored to have you both**." He looked over at the valet. " **Announce Prince Charles and Princess Leia**."

The valet tapped his staff and bellowed. " **Presenting His Royal Highness Prince Charles and Her Royal Highness Princess Leia**."

Killian nodded at Midas and they moved on into the crowd.

"So, what do you think?" He asked quietly as they walked.

" **Mary Margaret and David are always going on about this ball and that ball - what's the big deal about these things?** " Emma trailed off as they made it into the ball proper and she saw the splendor of the guests, the music, the dancing, the lights.

Killian smiled at her clear wonder and turned to look at her. " **You were saying?** " _Oh, Swan, you are a princess at heart. This is in your blood, and it's what every little girl, even a Lost Girl, dreams of_.

Her face was a mixture of awe and a very mild amount of panic. " **What I'm supposed to do**?"

Killian took her hand and smiled, resisting the urge to bring it all the way up to his lips for a kiss. This moment was about her. " **Blend in**." He said, leading her out on to the floor.

Emma's trepidation was tinged with excitement and curiosity now. " **Wait. Are you saying you know how to do…whatever this is?** "

" **It's called a waltz.** " Killian explained, pulling her close and adjusting her hands slightly. " **There's only one rule: Pick a partner who knows what he's doing**."

He began the basic steps of the waltz, and they fell into a rhythm, moving in time with the music and other dancers perfectly. Killian couldn't help the grin on his face, and neither could she.

"Okay, seriously. How does…" Emma dropped he voice. "a pirate." She returned to a regular volume. "Know how to do this?"

"You have your secrets, Swan, I have mine." Killian raised an eyebrow teasingly. "No. It was a required course at the Royal Naval Academy. And since my…occupation after the Navy required an occasional association with the wealthy, it seemed prudent to maintain the skill."

"Why would that be a course at the academy?" She asked, confused.

"Well, lets just say the academy wanted to make sure it's cadets could appear in public without embarrassing themselves or the uniform so all were required to learn." He explained. "Navy cadets were very popular escorts for events like this one. Surely you've heard the saying 'women love a man in uniform?' I could never tell if that was actually true or if it was just my devilishly handsome self."

Emma pursed her lips in an amused smile. "I'm not answering that. Your ego doesn't need any stroking."

Killian grinned. "Ah, but that reply in itself answers the question." She rolled her eyes at him, but never stopped smiling. Killian noticed the other dancers adding the more complex steps to the waltz. "Care to try something new?"

Emma nodded and he briefly told her how to do the steps. She faltered only for a moment, then quickly picked up the steps. Killian beamed, he couldn't help it. Clearly she was born for this life of glittering balls and dances, and she didn't even realize just how natural she was.

" **Watch the mocking. I'm actually getting the hang of this**." She said.

" **I'm not mocking you, Swan**." Killian replied. " **I'm just thinking about what you said in Storybrooke, about not being a princess**."

" **Really?** " Emma asked, " **You get my first real dance and my first royal ball and all you can say is I told you so**?"

 _No, Swan. Not at all_. Killian stood and bowed. " **I believe what I'm trying to say, Your Highness, is that you appear to be a natural.** "

Emma gave him the same bashful smile she had earlier when he complimented her dress. They danced a moment more before Emma was distracted by something. " **There's Charming** " she said.

Killian looked over his shoulder briefly and subtly led them closer to where Emma's father stood talking to Princess Abigail. Listening to their exchange, Killian knew that could have never been a happy marriage. He clearly didn't love her, and she didn't love him. In fact, he wouldn't be surprised if the icy Princess Abigail hadn't lost someone she loved. Killian and Emma continued to dance, pretending to be lost in each other - which was easily done as he felt like he could dance with her in his arms forever - while Charming walked by.

Suddenly, the doors to the ballroom flew open. Killian assumed it was some other royal wanting to make a grand entrance. None of the dancers seemed to notice either, until the Black Knights started marching in. Emma paused and her whole body tensed.

" **Regina is here. Damn it. That definitely was not in the plan**." She whispered.

" **Breathe, Swan. She's a guest**." Killian explained calmly. " **The king's head would vanish to another realm, if he didn't invite her**."

" **Yeah, good point**." Emma nodded, looking around the room. " **Where's Charming?** "

" **He can't have gone far."** Killian looked around.

One of the guards approached Midas, and Killian and Emma were close enough to hear him say Snow White was here. Emma and Killian snuck away from the assembled guests, towards where the bedrooms and private areas of the palace were.

"We can get a better look up here in the tower." Killian said, leading her up the tower and out the door. They came just in time to see Snow White disappear over the edge.

" **She did it.** **She must have stolen the ring**." Emma breathed a sigh of relief.

Then, in the tower above them and to the right, Charming stuck his head out and yelled " **You can't hide from me! Wherever you are I will find you!"**

Emma smiled. _That must be something she knows he said in the original timeline. Which is good, it means we're fixing things_. " **Mission accomplished. Now all we have to do-** " She was interrupted by the appearance of a Black Knight who armed his bow and pushed Emma roughly out of the way.

Killian caught her as the archer notched his bow and said " **You'll find her sooner than you think, milord**."

Before Killian could even think of a plan, Emma launched herself at the archer, pushing him over. From the ground, she held up the ring.

" **The ring**." She said.

 _Bloody hell._ Killian thought. _This is not going to end well._ He pulled his sword. " **You've got to get it to Snow. Go! I've got this**."

Two hundred years of piracy and practice had made Killian an excellent fighter and swordsman. He managed to defeat all of the Black Knights, giving Emma time to go after Snow. He just hoped she made it or everything they'd done would be for naught.


	39. Chapter 39

AN: Still in season 3. I'm going to get into more stuff that wasn't in the show, but this who episode was SO good and SO important I had to include a lot of it. So you have a few more chapters before we get to season 4. Thank you lovely people for reviewing and being so complimentary. As a reward, I busted out a chapter earlier than I usually would :D As always, I own nothing, bold words are from the show, italics are thoughts, and...review maybe? Enjoy!

Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?

Chapter 39

After dispatching the black knights and Midas's guards, Killian noticed the archer from the parapet was gone. _Damn. If he catches Emma…_ racing down back into the ballroom, Killian arrived just in time to see Emma struggling in front of the Evil Queen in the custody of two Black Knights.

Killian could only watch paralyzed in horror as Emma was lead away. _You must not go after her now. You can't rescue her if you're in jail as well. The Queen won't kill her immediately_. He told himself over and over, his fist clinched tightly in frustration at his sheer helplessness.

Killian left the ball quickly, before anyone decided that since he arrived with Emma, he needed to be arrested as well. He sat down near the gate out of sight to think. He needed help. And he needed Snow to get the ring. Which Emma had. And the last thing Killian wanted to do was to go crawling to the Dark One for help.

The door to the castle flew open and he could hear yelling.

"Just give her my apologies. I'm getting that bandit!" Prince Charming yelled to someone and then Killian heard the distinct sound of a horse running.

 _Perhaps I could kill two birds with one stone…_ Killian thought and rose to follow the prince. _The Prince is surely going after Snow White. If I play my cards right, I can have Snow White and Prince Charming help me rescue their daughter. And save the timeline in the process. How's that for heroic?_

It was easy to follow the Prince, even though he was on horseback and Killian was on foot. David had to stop every so often to check for tracks, look around, and rest the horse. Killian maintained a steady pace and ended up being close enough to track the prince but not close enough that they would meet. It wasn't time just yet for that. He needed the Prince to find Snow White and _then_ figure out that someone else had the ring.

He spotted David's horse tied to a tree out of the way, if he hadn't been following the horse tracks so closely, Killian never would have seen it. They'd passed a camp near dawn that morning which looked like that of a thief on the run. Clearly David was planning on setting up _something_ further along the road to catch Snow White. Sure enough, as he approached them, he heard two familiar voices arguing. And they were arguing over the ring!

" **I don't have your ring**." Snow White said.

David crossed his arms. " **Then, why don't I believe you?** "

 _Perfect timing._ Killian walked out of the woods. " **You should. She's telling the truth, mate.** " He bowed to the startled royal and continued, " **Prince Charles. Lovely ball the other night. The mutton was a tad overcooked, but that happens. Snow White doesn't have your ring. But I can tell you who does. My princess. And I need your help to get her back.** "

" **She has my ring? That's two women who robbed me. Where is she?** " Charming asked.

Killian grimaced. " **Well, that's the problem. The Queen's castle.** "

" **Actually, that's not a problem at all**." Snow White interjected. " **I know it well. It used to be mine. I can get us in there, but not from up here. So you let me down, you get your princess, you get your ring and I never have to see your charming face again**."

Killian looked over at the Prince. A blind man could see the connection between the two, except they couldn't. And everything was going to plan. Snow and Charming were going to help him rescue their daughter, and hopefully along the way, fall in love. Charming pulled his sword and cut the rope, causing Snow White to fall from the net with a crash.

 _Not the best way to treat your wife, mate_. Killian thought. The Queen's castle was a fair distance away and they needed to keep Snow White hidden.

"There is a town nearby, perhaps we can procure some transportation there?" Killian suggested as Charming helped Snow extricate herself from the net. "I assume you do not wish to be seen?"

"You're right, and I don't want this one out of my sight. We'll need some sort of cart." Charming nodded. "Let's get moving."

It was simple to convince a widow on the outskirts of town to sell her cart. She couldn't use it anymore and had no family to leave it to. Killian sent a thought of thanks up to whoever was running this crazy show. The cart would hopefully not affect the timeline overmuch, and they really did need it. Killian's feet were killing him from his nearly two straight days of walking. His time in Storybook and on the seas meant that, while he _could_ walk great distances, he certainly did not do it often, and the dancing shoes the Dark One gave him were not made for an overnight trek through the woods.

The road was not easy, and Snow White had to stay far down in the cart. Each time it jostled, she was thrown uncomfortably. The cart hit a particularly bad patch and she let out an audible sound of pain.

" **Apologies, lass.** " Killian looked back at her for a moment.

The Prince chuckled.

" **You're really enjoying this, aren't you, Charming?** " Snow asked acidly.

" **It is not my fault your face is plastered on every tree in the forest**." Charming shrugged. **"What's that around your neck? I thought you were not the jewelry type**?"

Killian heard Snow answer evasively, then apparently Charming grabbed the necklace in question.

" **Careful. That's a weapon.** " Snow warned.

" **Dust**?" Charming asked incredulously.

" **Fairy dust. From a dark fairy.** " Snow explained. " **It transforms the most fearsome adversaries into a form that's easily squashed. I'm saving it for a special someone**."

 _What? You are really going to try to kill the Evil Queen?_ Killian thought and then shook his head, tuning them out. He needed to focus on his driving as they neared the castle.

" **We're here.** " He announced.

" **We're gonna need help to get past the guards. Wait here. We go at night. I'll be back with help**." Snow White instructed and left the cart.

"You think she will come back?" Killian asked the Prince. This was not how he expected Snow White to behave. Of course, he only knew her from his brief meeting in the past, and Mary Margaret in Storybrooke. She'd changed quite a bit since this time. Which apparently was true of them all.

"She will. She wants to kill the queen. She'll be back." Charming nodded. "It'll be dark soon, let's make camp."

"Aye." Killian nodded, staring at the castle a moment. _I'm coming, Swan._


	40. Chapter 40

AN: As always, I own nothing, bold words are from the show, italics are thoughts, enjoy! (side note: 40 chapters? wow. I never anticipated this story going that far! Thanks for everyone who has read and reviewed and followed this story!)

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

Chapter 40

Before long, the two men had gathered wood, made a fire, and eaten some of the rations Charming had brought with him. It was odd, to be sitting here with David, the man having no idea who Killian was or all that he had done, as Hook or later when he tried to help the Charmings against the witch, tried not to be a villian.

Killian finished cleaning his sword, and then decided to take advantage of the opportunity to speak to David without any of his past getting in the way. He liked the Prince, he reminded him of Liam, in the present David tolerated him at best, might be close to actually liking him, but they certainly weren't friends.

" **You exited for your nuptials?** " He asked, putting the sword away.

" **I'm marrying Midas' daughter. What's not to be excited about?** " David said, without the slightest bit of pleasure or anticipation in his voice.

" **I don't mean to pry, mate, but you don't exactly look like a man who's doing this by choice**." Killian observed. _Neither does she, by the way, though I'm sure you've noticed that_.

" **Mm. I always thought I'd marry for love**." Charming shook his head. " **And here I am about to enter into what amounts to a business transaction. A merger of two kingdoms. I don't know this whole ordeal makes me wonder if there's even such a thing as True Love**."

Killian decided to be honest with the man. He hadn't spoken about his feelings for Emma out loud to anyone. Except to confess to Zelena, disguised as Ariel, that he still loved her. And sort of to Pan. But he hadn't _really_ talked about the changes he'd gone through since meeting Emma. To anyone. " **I once felt as you did, mate. All it took was meeting the right person and everything changed.** " _And I do mean everything_.

Charming nodded. " **Princess Leia? The one we're rescuing?** "

" **Aye. I'd to go to the end of the world for her.** " Killian said seriously, then added. " **Or time.** "

" **And she for you, I take it?** " The Prince asked.

Killian chuckled and shook his head. _That's a conundrum, there mate. See, in a few years you have a baby and you abandon her for her safety and the good of all. But it turns her into a Lost Girl, and peeling back the layers on a Lost Girl takes time, and even the smallest thing can put the walls back up. Plus, it makes their emotional state…volatile when it comes to relationships. Though, to be fair, the Dark One's son did a lot of damage to her as well…_ So, while Killian knew Emma liked and trusted him, he couldn't say with any certainty beyond that. " **I don't know**."

" **What's the problem?** "

" **There are many…complications.** "

" **Family?** " Charming asked. " **Because my father is making things quite difficult for me.** "

" **Aye. There's that**." Killian suppressed a smile and added. " **I'm not so sure her parents approve of me**."

" **Given the length you've gone to save her, they'd be crazy not to**." Charming remarked.

" **Hope, you remember that**." Killian said under his breath. _Please remember that, mate, because the last thing I need to deal with is over-protective father mode Dave in Storybrooke_.

A rustling in the woods drew both of their attention, and Charming stood, pulling his sword. " **What the hell was that?** "

Killian likewise unsheathed his saber. " **I think we're about to find out.** "

A young woman approached who Killian immediately recognized as Ruby.

" **Hey! Who the hell are you?** " Charming demanded.

Ruby stopped in front of them and set down her basket. " **Name is Red. I'm a friend of Snow's. She sent me to help you get into the Queen's castle**."

" **How?** " Killian asked, thinking back to what he knew of Ruby. How could she help them get into the castle? She was a waitress who wore revealing outfits and ran frequently. And called him Jones.

" **You'll see**." Red answered cryptically.

She began taking off her cloak. "We're going underground. I'll scare the guards toward you and you take care of them. Throw this back on me when it's time to turn back." She instructed, tossing the red cloak to Killian.

Then, he and Charming watched as the young woman morphed into a wolf and ran off. The two men looked at each other for a moment and then dashed off after her. Killian had to admit, having a very scary wolf as your distraction was seriously effective. He and the Prince were in the dungeon in almost no time.

" **I'm glad the wolf is on our side**." Killian said as he threw the cloak over the wolf.

Charming nodded as Red stood. " **She's a fearsome one. Better hurry, when he awakes, they'll be on to us**."

Killian smirked at Red as he walked by. He _had_ to have a conversation with Ruby about this lovely little development. Suddenly, the woman tensed and began loosening her cloak. " **Wait. Someone's coming**."

Killian drew his sword and stepped to the front of their little trio, ready to take down whoever was coming around the corner. He did not expect to see Emma come round the corner and nearly impale herself on his saber.

" **Swan**?" He asked.

" **Hook**." She smiled.

" **What the hell are you doing? You're depriving me of a dashing rescue.** " Killian said. _Also if you keep talking like this, calling me Hook, your father is going to remember something and this is going to end badly. For all of us_.

" **Sorry. The only one who saves me is me. Speaking of which…** " Emma pulled the ring off her finger. " **I'm not gonna be around much longer unless we find where this belongs**."

Charming grabbed the ring. " **I think that belongs to me**."

" **You guys have a way out of here?** " Emma asked.

" **Follow me**." Red replied. " **Snow told me where to meet her.** "

It was then that Killian's brain finally registered that there was a woman standing behind Emma. She walked by Emma, thanking her, and set off following Charming and Red.

" **Swan, you didn't.** " Killian said.

Emma looked back at him guiltily, " **She was to be executed in the morning. I couldn't just leave her there to die**."

" **Actually, if she's to die, she pretty much has to.** " Killian whispered in almost a growl. _Why am I always the bloody voice of reason? And why doesn't anyone listen to it_?

Before Emma could reply, David walked back to them. " **I hate to break up a reunion but we have to keep moving. We have to find Snow White**."


	41. Chapter 41

AN: As always, I own nothing, bold words are from the show and italics are thoughts (or dreams) nice, long chapter this time folks :)

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

Chapter 41

Red led them through a series of passages that seemed deserted. She really must know where she's going. Killian thought. As they reached a hall with a large window at the end, he heard a sound that drew his attention to the ornate window. Killian walked over to investigate and, upon looking out the window, felt like he had been punched in the gut.

" **What is it? Did you find Snow?** " Emma asked, walking over to him.

 _No! Damn it all! This can't be happening._ " **I'm afraid so.** "

Emma put her hand on the glass to steady herself. " **We have to get down there before it's too late**."

" **I don't think we can.** " Charming said sadly.

They watched in silent horror as Snow White was tied to the stake. Emma whispered an emotional "no" and Killian didn't even think, he just pulled her towards his chest, wrapping her in his arms. _I've got you, Swan. I'm not going to let you go. There is no way to make this better but you are not going to go through it alone_. _You are NOT alone_. Killian desperately tried to think of something, anything he could do to help Snow or fix the situation, but there was nothing to be done. _Absolutely bloody nothing_. Killian felt like using every curse in every language he knew, which, being a pirate, was a lot, or punching out the window. But he couldn't. Emma was leaning on him, sobbing. And she needed him to be strong. Even though he felt his own heart breaking - not knowing how they could fix it or how Emma would even continue to exist - Killian had to stay strong. For her. She needed someone to be there for her. And dammit, he was going to do just that.

They escaped the palace without issue, but the walk back to the campsite was nearly silent. Everyone felt a little numb, having witnessed the execution of Snow White. No one more than Emma and Killian. They knew the far-reaching consequences of that death, and they were catastrophic.

Charming, Red and the woman went off to gather supplies and wood, allowing Killian and Emma a moment alone. Emma merely sat on a fallen log, staring at the fire. _I've got to give her some kind of hope…_ Killian thought. _I can't let her dwell on that moment…it doesn't help you grieve_.

" **After my brother passed, all I could do was relive that final terrible moment.** " He said after a few minutes of silence. " **Don't do that to yourself, love. All we can do in times like these is try to live in the here and now.** "

" **Here and now**." Emma repeated his words and then paused, as if realizing something. **"I'm still here. How's that possible. We saw her die. Which means I would never be born**."

Killian nodded, catching on. " **You should have faded from existence**." _Mind, I'm very glad you didn't_. _But how could that be?_

" **Exactly**." She looked down.

" **Well then, perhaps…** " Killian didn't want to say it. He couldn't quite believe it and he didn't want Swan to get her hopes up when it could have been just an elaborate ruse pulled off by Regina.

" **She's still alive.** " Emma stood. " **If Snow is out there, we have to find her.** "

Killian stood too, and tried to swat the bug that had been flying all around him. " **Cursed vermin**." He groused. " **We should head back to the Queen's castle. Take a look around. Perhaps it's a trick by Regina**."

" **No. Whatever happened. Regina thinks Snow is dead.** " She said and he saw the ladybug land on her shoulder. _I've got you now, vermin._

" **Stay still, love**." Killian grabbed something to squish the bug and was about to do so when Charming came running over, yelling.

" **Wait! Don't harm that thing.** " He warned. " **When we were coming to rescue you, Snow told me what her dust would do to the Queen. She said it would turn her into a form that could easily be squashed.** "

Charming picked the ladybug off Emma's shoulder carefully. " **A bug**."

" **You think Snow turned herself into that?** " Emma was dubious. Killian didn't blame her.

" **Well, if she timed it right, she could have escaped that fireball. Faked her death and flown away.** " the Prince examined the bug carefully. " **Yeah, that's her. Just need to find a way to bring her back**."

Emma leaned closer. " **She's saying something.** "

" **Wonderful. Anyone fluent in bug?** " Killian quipped, frankly a little relieved that he hadn't accidentally killed Snow White.

" **She's calling for me**." The Blue Fairy said, floating from out of the woods.

Emma looked pleased and amazed. " **Blue**." Killian again felt the need to 'face palm'.

" **That's right. And you are**?" The floating woman asked.

 _Don't answer that, Swan. Fairies can sense lies._ " **Leia**." Emma answered.

Blue studied her for a moment. " **No, that's not it. But your secrets can be yours. I sense it's better that way.** "

Killian breathed a sigh of relief. At least the fairy understood there was a good reason behind the lies. In no time, Snow White was standing with them in human form. Emma practically leapt at her mother to hug her, and Snow was very surprised to have a complete stranger acting that way. Then Snow turned and embraced Red like family and Emma stepped back, tears in her eyes. Killian knew they were happy tears but they were tinged with a little sadness. Her mother didn't know her. That had to be difficult, to spend time with your parents and not have them know they are related to you at all. Killian gently wiped her tears away. No sense worrying about that now, they had a timeline to fix, and finally seemed to be on the verge of actually accomplishing their task.

" **Looks like we're back on track, love.** " He smiled.

" **Yeah**." Emma nodded, clearly overwhelmed by the sheer roller coaster of emotions she'd been on the last day or so.

"Get some rest, love. It's almost over." Killian said softly. "I'll take first watch."

She simply nodded and made herself comfortable in front of the fire. The woman they rescued did the same thing, and Red vanished, presumably to do…whatever it is a woman who turned into a wolf did on nights like this. Snow and the Prince made their way over to the fire, carrying wood.

"I'll take first watch. Leia was exhausted." Killian explained. "I think this was the first time she'd ever seen anyone die. Or been in the kind of trouble she was in." Both of those were outright lies, but Killian didn't think either of them could detect a falsehood through the glamour spell.

"It wasn't easy. I'm just glad you didn't squish me." Snow smiled. "I'm going to rest. It's tough to fly this far as a bug. Wake me in a few hours and I'll take watch."

"Of course, my Lady." Killian nodded. "Four hours sound good?"

"That's a long watch to have by yourself." The Prince said. "Why don't I stay up with you?"

"You're dead on your feet, mate." Killian shook his head. "I've a lot on my mind. Sleep isn't going to come easy, so I might as well be useful."

"Still, wake me in two hours. I'll do two or three and wake Snow if I feel tired. It should be about morning by then." David suggested.

"Deal, mate." Killian nodded and the other two settled down for the night. He noticed that the Prince situated himself so that to get to the cart or the supplies, Snow White would have to step over him, and he had positioned himself to see her. _Interesting_.

Soon, the only sounds were from the fire and the soft breathing of his companions. Killian hadn't lied when he said he had a lot on his mind. First was the little issue they now had thanks to Emma's good heart. He couldn't blame her for saving the woman, in her place, he might've done the same thing. _Especially if they were the only two in there and the woman helped her escape. But now what to do with her? She can't stay here, she was supposed to die. That could have untold repercussions on the timeline. A memory spell from Rumplestiltskin and send her to the furthest nunnery? But there was still the chance someone would recognize her. That would be disastrous. And they wouldn't be here to control the situation. Take her back? Perhaps. But what if she ended up being someone evil in disguise? Like Morgan La Fay or…who knew? The woman was in Regina's custody, and in her Evil Queen days, Regina was much like Rumplestiltskin in that sometimes she had a plan inside a plan inside a plan, just to ensure she got her way. And what would they do with her then?_

Killian couldn't figure out a satisfactory answer to that riddle. The best choice seemed to be bringing her back, but that wasn't great either. _What we should do is kill her, really, but that was never going to fly with Emma and I don't really feel like killing a woman who had done nothing and didn't appear to deserve it._

 _No. We're not killing her._ He sighed and let his mind wander to his other quandary: _Emma._

Sometimes he could read her like a book, like he always knew when she was pushing him away or planning to run. And he could see the hurt of her past, things she hid well from others, with ease. Her feelings about himself, however, were about as clear as mud. The physical attraction was there. Killian wasn't just being vain when he said he knew Emma wanted him. The physical side of things had been very evident, on both side, since Neverland. Really, since the beanstalk. Killian hadn't forgotten the way her breath hitched when he tied his scarf around her hand, tightening it with his teeth. No, the physical want had always been there. Emotionally…Emma had played a strange game of push and pull with him. Sometimes she would be clearly flirting with him and accepting of his advances, and other times she was downright cold. Some of those times he knew she was just protecting herself. Like the taunt to Zelena. That was partially anger at him and partially fear that she could have any vulnerabilities. Clearly he wasn't the last person in the world she'd kiss, she'd done it once and clearly enjoyed it.

 _So why is she so determined to run?_ Killian asked himself.

"You know the answer to that _."_ A voice said from next to him.

Killian turned to see Neal sitting there in his khakis and white shirt. "You weren't kidding about watching."

"Can you blame me? You two…okay, _she_ has been messing with the time line. The whole future is in flux right now." Neal sighed. "What the hell are you guys doing, Killian?"

"Look, it's been…difficult." Killian replied. "And how do you recognize me?"

"Dead, remember?" Neal shrugged. "Not even the Dark One's magic works on the dead."

"So you are a ghost?" He asked.

"Probably not the best word for it. But sure." Neal shrugged. "I thought you thought I was a hallucination?"

"Oh, I still do. But apparently my hallucinations are very thorough." Killian smiled. "So…why are you here?"

"Let's just say I want you and Emma to succeed." Neal said. "Don't let her run, Killian. She's doing it because she's afraid. You're the only person in her life who will push her to confront her fears and tear down the walls."

"Surely her parents…"

Neal gave him a look. "Please. We are never completely honest with our parents. We never truly see them as equals. For that we need a partner."

Killian scoffed.

"You know I'm telling you the truth." Neal said. "Just…keep on the path."

Killian sat up, suddenly awake. "It was a dream. A dream." He looked at Emma's sleeping form. _Partners? I have got to stop these hallucinations._


	42. Chapter 42

AN: As always, I own nothing, bold words are from the show and italics are thoughts (or dreams) Sorry for the long wait, folks. A bit of a crazy week. And more sad news...March is really, really far away :(

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

Chapter 42

Morning at the camp was a quiet affair. They ate a brief breakfast of bread that Red somehow acquired in the night and stamped out the fire. Emma sat next to Killian on a log after discretely checking the book in his satchel. They watched as Snow and Charming seemed to be getting along (finally).

" **They're warming up to each other. This is good. This'll work**." Emma smiled.

" **That may be, Swan. But we have another problem**." Killian nodded towards the woman.

Emma was resolute in her decision. " **I had to save her**."

" **Sure, you did the noble thing, but she's supposed to be dead."** Killian nodded. **"Her presence in the Enchanted Forest could have unforeseen consequences.** "

" **She's just a sweet, innocent woman**." She countered.

 _Not the point, Swan, and you don't know that for sure._ " **What, if she had a child who grows into a mass murderer? Or she gets tipsy some night and rides her horse into one of the dwarves and there are only six of them? Who knows? We're best not finding out. She doesn't belong here**." Killian argued.

Emma's eyes widened. " **I know exactly what we can do. Take her with us.** "

"Aye. It's the best solution I came up with, as well." He nodded. "But you saved her, you're going to be the one to tell her."

Emma pouted, and Killian thought that might just kill him. "Me?"

Fortunately, he was not swayed by her charms. Or at least, not enough to cause him to acquiesce to her unspoken request. "You're the Savior, love." _Oh bloody hell, fine._ "I'll come with you."

The woman was, understandably, incredulous. It sounded crazy even as they were explaining the whole situation. And she clearly was not going to cooperate.

The woman was adamant. " **All due respect, I don't trust you. Or believe you. So, unless you're kidnapping me I'm going to go find my family**."

Emma moved behind her and, grabbing a large log, knocked the woman out. " **Well, then, I guess we're kidnapping you.** "

Killian grabbed the prone form and set her down in a way that looked like she was sleeping. It wouldn't do to have Snow and the Prince ask about why they knocked her out. But he couldn't help the grin that spread over his features.

" **I always knew there was a little pirate in you, Swan**." Killian chuckled and was rewarded with a proud smile from her.

Charming chose that moment to walk over. " **What happened to her?** "

" **She's, uh, resting. What's up?** " Emma lied quickly.

" **Has either one of you seen Snow? She went to the stream but she hasn't-** " The Prince stopped and patted his tunic. " **The ring. She took it.** "

" **Really?** " Emma asked, not sounding the least bit surprised. " **Do you know where she might be headed?** "

Charming grabbed the bag of supplied. " **She was seeking passage on a pirate ship. There's only one way to get to the harbor from here. The Troll Bridge.** "

With that, he was running off after Snow. Emma moved to follow him and Killian stopped her.

" **Swan, wait. The bridge. Isn't that where you want them to be? Isn't that where Snow saved your father from the trolls?** " He asked, confused.

" **Yes, but the only reason she was able to do that was because she had a weapon. The dust**." Emma explained.

Realization dawned on Killian. " **Which she's already used on herself. Bloody hell.** "

She nodded. " **Come on. They gonna need help**."

 _I am never bloody time traveling again_. Killian thought as they ran after Emma's parents yet again.

They made it to the troll bridge just in time to see Snow standing like she had…something in her hand and the trolls were backing away slowly. _She's bluffing! I have always underestimated that woman._ " **Wait**." He said to Emma.

Charming thanked Snow, somewhat awkwardly, for saving him and they began handing back each other's possessions. They were saying…something to each other, but Killian didn't know what, he was too enthralled at Emma's reaction. She had tears glistening in her eyes and he understood why.

" **It's okay, Swan. Not everyone gets the chance to watch their parents fall in love**." Killian smiled at her.

Snow and Charming spoke some more and then headed their separate ways. _Bloody hell, not again_. " **They're heading away from each other**."

 **"** **No, it's okay. That's how it happened the first time**." Emma explained. " **It took my parents a while to accept their feelings**."

 _That explains quite a bit._ " **Must run in the family.** " Killian remarked.

Emma ignored him and went into the satchel, grabbing the book. As soon as she opened it, the writings and pictures appeared again.

" **Look. We did it.** " She grinned.

"Aye, we did. Now, let's get back to the Dark One so we can go home." He smiled at her.


	43. Chapter 43

AN: Sorry for the delay, guys! It's been a busy few weeks. As always, I own nothing, bold words are from the show and italics are thoughts (or dreams). Thanks for all the lovely reviews, follows, and favorites :)

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

Chapter 43

As usual, things did not go as planned, and now the Dark One had sent them to some sort of…vault. Killian heaved the prone form of the woman on to a table and began poking around. The situation was bleak, but the decidedly creepy vault of the Dark One _had_ to have some way to get them home. As he walked, Killian caught sight of himself in the mirror, and shallow as it was, it gave him hope.

" **At least he did us one favor. I'm devilishly handsome again**." Killian remarked. _If I'm going to die in some magical holding area, at least I'll die as myself._ Then he noticed a cabinet. _What have we here?_

He opened the door and pulled out an urn. _A genie perhaps?_

" **Wait! Don't touch anything!** " Emma exclaimed. " **If Rumple is afraid of this stuff, there's gotta be a reason.** "

 _Point, Swan_. Killian placed the urn on a table. " **I'm just trying to figure a way out.** "

" **I don't think there is one. And, what's the point? You heard what he said.** " Emma sounded defeated.

 _Yes, only those who used the portal can recreate it's magic._ " **But you can. All he said we need is magic. You're the savior, Swan. You can do it.** " He tried to convince her. _I believe in you, Emma, even when you don't believe in yourself_.

She shook her head. " **Not anymore. I lost it.** "

 _Yes, you said that, but it never made much sense to me._ Killian thought, and reasoned aloud " **When Zelena died, all of her spells were undone. Your powers should have been restored**."

" **Believe me, if I could make it work, I would.** " Emma insisted. " **You think I'm faking it?** "

" **I think not having magic makes it a lot of easier for you to run back to New York and pretend to be somebody else**." Killian took a step closer. _If you hear nothing else I ever say, Emma, hear this_. " **But listen to me, Swan. You're not.** " _You are Emma Swan, Savior, and daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. No amount of running, though I'm sure it's the easier choice, is ever going to change that. It's messy and it's emotional and it requires trust and vulnerability, but it's the only way to live a life that's real and true_. **"It's time to stop running**."

" **You think, I don't know that?** " She asked, and Killian was thrown by that admission a bit. Emma continued. " **Yes, I run away. That's how I always survived. But, believe me, I want this to work. I wanna go back. I wanna stop running**."

 _And by this do you mean the wand, your life in Storybrooke, or your family? Or all three? And when did this happen?_ Killian regarded her curiously. " **What's changed your mind?** "

" **Watching my mother die**." Emma confessed, pausing. This sort of admission was difficult for her, Killian knew. But it was also necessary. " **Thinking she was dead. You saw what happened. I was so relieved when she was okay. And I hugged her.** "

 _Yes, I follow you Swan_. Killian watched the emotions begin to fill her eyes with tears and resisted the urge to pull her close. This moment, letting him in and letting her feelings out was exactly what Emma needed. It wasn't a moment for comfort; it was a moment for clarity.

" **And you know what I saw in her eyes? Nothing. She didn't know who I was**." Her voice broke and Killian's heart broke for her. _I can't imagine how horrible that must have been, Swan, and I was so damn worried about correcting and keeping the timeline I barely even considered how hard it had to be for you to interact with you parents without them knowing you_.

" **I had saved her and lost her, too. And that's what I've been doing to her since I met her. It's got to stop**." Emma's mood started to shift from sad to determined. " **When Henry brought me to Storybrooke he told me I was the savior. I didn't see what he was really doing: He was not bringing me back to break a curse. He was bringing me home.** "

Killian felt a small, proud smile forming on his face. He couldn't help it, she had truly come a long way - in a very short time. It'd taken him almost a year to figure out that he couldn't run from whoever he was now. There was no going back to who you once were.

 **"** **Neal was right.** " She smiled.

 _Neal? What does Bae have to do with this?_ " **About what?** " Killian asked.

" **You don't have a home until you just miss it. Being with my parents the last few days, but not really being with them? I've never missed them more. Storybrooke. That's my home**." Emma explained. As she spoke, Killian looked down and noticed the wand had started to glow. By the time she confessed that Storybrooke was home, it was emitting a bright white light.

Killian smiled at her, knowing she hadn't realized it yet.

" **What?** " She asked, clearly noticing his smile.

He smirked. " **Look down**." _I knew you could do it, Swan._ " **I'd say you've got your magic back. Now, shall we go?** "

Killian watched as she concentrated, and sure enough, the same glowing vortex appeared. He grabbed the woman off the table, swinging her back over his shoulder. " **Yup. Well done, Swan**." He said before jumping in, happy to finally be heading home.


	44. Chapter 44

AN: I do not own OUAT. If you've made it this far, you know the drill: italics are thoughts, bold words are lines from the show, reviews are welcome, and enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

Chapter 44

Killian landed with a thud on the ground, the woman next to him and Emma right behind him. _I bloody hate magic. Sometimes_. He thought with a groan. He stood and helped Emma up. Before he even had much of a chance to think, she was ready to run to her family ( _about bloody time_ ), but not before asking him to prep the woman for what was surely a great shock.

 _No problem, Swan. I am probably one of the best equipped to do so._ Killian sighed, dusting himself off slowly.

The woman, Marian, he learned, was rather strange. She was angry, which he thought was rather odd considering her previous dire circumstances. _I'm sorry that you don't like what's happened to you, but surely you prefer it to the other alternative, which was your death._ And not once did she seem confused over the glamour spell explanation. _You've been spending too much time in the land without magic, mate. It's not too surprising for someone from the Enchanted Forest to hear about a magic spell_.

"Look, I know it's all a bit of a shock, but you might actually find your family." Killian tried to cheer her up. "Regina's curse was…well, it was a curse but it had some benefit because your family might be here, alive and well."

Then, all of a sudden, the anger turned to desperation and Marian worried about seeing her son again. _Gods, this must be what people are like who come to this world without a goal or plan._ Killian thought.

"Come on, love, let's get you to Granny's and get you a drink. You'll be just fine in Storybrooke. Most everyone here came from the Enchanted Forest, so you'll fit right in."

Killian led Marian in, and after explaining the situation to Granny, the older woman took Marian over to the corner and filled her in on all that she needed to know. Killian looked over at Emma, engrossed in telling her parents the story of their adventure, and smiled. It was about time she enjoyed her parents. The family she had…it was precious. He made his way out to the patio, he needed a drink and a moment alone to process everything that had happened.

 _You can change. You are braver than you think. You chose the kind of man you want to be._ Killian heard a voice in his head, a voice he thought he'd banished long ago. He popped the lid off his flask and took a long drink.

 _Can I change?_ Killian thought. _Have I changed?_

"Of course you have." Neal said from the table next to him. At least the hallucination had the decency to be wearing a white coat over the usual khakis and white shirt.

"Can I go back to the Emma hallucination of my conscience?" Killian sighed. "Cause she was better to look at."

"Still not a hallucination, Killian." Neal smiled. "Think of me as the little angel on your shoulder."

"My what?"

"Right. Cartoons. Not something you'd know." Neal shook his head. "Anyway, why are you out here sulking?"

"I'm not sulking." Killian took another drag from the flask. "It's been an eventful few days and it almost feels like they didn't really happen."

"You're worried about what Emma thinks of you now."

"Not…there's that, a little, but it's more of the visceral reminder of who I used to be." He studied his rings for a minute. "I used to consider these trophies. The other day I wanted to rip them all off my fingers…"

"So what stopped you?" Neal asked.

"I want them to remind me of the man I was, so I will never be him again." Killian looked at claims-he's-not-a-hallucination Neal levelly. "I let the darkness in once. I don't want to give in to that darkness again." He took a deep breath and continued. "That man…the version of me that I…"

"Jealously punched." Neal finished smugly.

Killian narrowed his eyes. "He deserved far worse. I still deserve far worse. I don't deserve her."

"You don't ever have to be him again." Neal smiled. "You chose the man you want to be."

"Aye. I know." Killian took another sip. "For the first time in a while, I like the man I want to be." He raised his flask to the hallucination, which promptly disappeared, leaving Killian to contemplate the whole ordeal in solitude.

A little while later, Emma came out, still smiling from her discussion from her parents and evidently content in her decision to stay in Storybrooke.

" **So, do you think Rumplestiltskin was right? I'm in the book now**." She said proudly, sitting down across from him.

Killian chuckled, _welcome to the party, love_.

Emma continued. " **He said everything, besides our little adventure, would go back to normal. Do you think that it is**?"

" **He's right. Otherwise I'd remember that damned bar wench I kissed**." He looked up at her and was rewarded with a smile.

" **How would that prove anything**?" Emma asked.

Killian fixed her with a flirtatious smirk for just a moment. " **I know how you kiss. I'd have gone after her. But I didn't. My life went on exactly the same as before**."

She gave him a teasing smile. " **Yeah, must have been the rum**."

" **Everything's back to normal**." He nodded. " **You're a bloody hero, Swan.** " J _ust as it should be_.

" **So are you**." Emma said, and Killian couldn't help the self-deprecating chuckle that escaped his lips.

Emma continued, determined. " **I wanted to thank you, Killian. For going back for me in the first place. In New York. If you hadn't** -"

 _That wasn't anything, Emma._ " **It was the right thing to do**." He interrupted her.

" **How did you do it? How did you get to me**?" Emma finally asked the question he'd been dreading since the moment he arrived at her door.

 **** ** _When I win your heart; and I will win it, it'll be because you want me._** Killian heard his own promise in his head. He had never wanted to tell her the whole truth, he didn't want just another…appreciation kiss where Emma could easily retreat from any emotional entanglements.

 _Better just tell the truth. Though I'll not go into details about the ship unless she asks._ " **When the curse was coming I ditched my crew and took the Jolly Roger as fast and as far as I possibly could to outrun it.** " He explained simply.

" **You outran a curse**?" She asked, clearly impressed.

" **I'm a hell of a captain**." Killian shrugged, then continued. " **Once I was outside the curses purview I knew that the walls were down. Transport between the realms was possible again. All I needed was a magic bean**." _We'll leave out the whole hallucinating my conscience dressed as you nonsense_.

" **Those are not easy to come by**." Emma remarked.

Killian looked down at the flask lid in his hand. " **They are if you've got something of value to trade**."

Emma smiled, clearly thinking he'd traded gold or jewels or something equally pirate-like. " **And what was that?** "

" **Why, the Jolly Roger, of course.** " He said, forcing himself to sound cheerful. He watched as Emma's demeanor changed entirely. She couldn't believe it.

" **You traded your ship for me**?" Emma asked, clearly shocked that anyone would do anything like that for her.

A thousand explanations and flowery declarations flowed through Killian's brain, but none seemed to convey the gravity of his actions or his willingness to do them again if necessary. He looked right at her and solemnly nodded. " **Aye.** "

Emma moved closer and, like magnets, Killian felt himself drawn to her as he captured her lips in a kiss. This was a much sweeter kiss than the one in Neverland, it held so much more promise and emotion than that first blast of raw passion he'd felt on that cursed island. And in that moment Killian knew: he would never tire of kissing Emma, holding Emma, running his fingers through her glorious blonde locks. He would never tire of her because he loved her.

Killian grinned, resting his forehead on hers. He wanted to tell her right in that moment, but hard-won experience taught him with Emma, patience was always the way to go. It took a while for the euphoria to settle and for both of them to realize that they were, as the natives of this world would put it, "making out" right in front of a window and her parents and son.

"Want to go in for some coffee?" Emma suggested.

"No, but this is hardly the place to continue this rather enjoyable…discussion." Killian teased, kissing her gently one more time.

Emma just rolled her eyes. Killian stood and offered her his hand. They walked into the diner hand-in-hand and made their way over to check on Marian. Killian just listened intently, sipping his coffee, as Emma and Marian chatted. He was enjoying the fact that Emma kept a hand on his arm or shoulder or had her leg touching his the whole time she was seemingly focused on Marian.

Suddenly, Marian gasped. " **That's the Evil Queen**." she bit out, shocked and angry.

Emma held up a hand. " **It's okay. She's different now. She's not the same person anymore. You'll see. I'll- Just stay here**."

With one final pat on the shoulder, Emma was off, explaining something to Regina. Then Emma came to retrieve Marian and bring her over and that's when all hell broke loose.

 _Bloody hell._ Killian thought, watching the scene unfold in front of him. _It's Robin's wife!_ He could see Regina's face. He knew that look: it was utter heartbreak. And Killian understood why. Robin had a strict ethical code and this woman was the mother of his child. _Poor Regina, she can't win._

" **You? You did this**?" Regina asked, her voice breaking.

Killian could see from the slump of her shoulders that Emma felt awful. " **I just wanted to save her life**."

The former Evil Queen shook her head. " **You're just like your mother. Never thinking of consequences.** "

 _At least she sounds more hurt than angry. I guess that's a…what did Henry call it? A silver lining?_ Killian thought morosely.

" **I didn't know.** " Emma said apologetically.

" **Of course, you didn't. Well, you'd just better hope to hell you didn't bring anything else back.** " And with that, Regina stormed out.


	45. Chapter 45

AN: I AM SO, SO, SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY YOU GUYS! (I felt that needed to be in all caps...) Let's just say the full time job, adulting, and RL completely bogged me down so much I've barely read in months, much less posted. I pinky promise that the wait will be less for the next few chapters. I'm really trying to get it up by next week (but, again, adulting/full time job/RL is still there so don't hold me to it!) I still do not own OUAT. If you've made it this far, you know the drill: italics are thoughts, bold words are lines from the show, reviews are welcome, and enjoy!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

Chapter 45

Emma followed her out, so did the Charmings, Henry, Robin, Marian, Roland and of course, Killian himself. Marian was _not_ pleased to see them all so concerned.

" **Don't you know who she is?** " Marian demanded.

Henry was confused, having missed the whole exchange, only having seen Regina storm out. " **Mom, what's going on?** "

Marian pointed accusingly at Regina. " **She's a monster.** "

Regina's hand raised for a second, but she thought better of it.

Emma tried to step in, but Marian was having none of it. She scooped up Roland and headed back into Granny's. Robin watched helplessly as Regina walked away, but Emma made to follow her.

 _No, Swan. Not a good time for this, love_. " **Nothing good has ever come of pushing that woman**." Killian warned, grabbing her arm. _Have a little faith, Marian isn't a smoking pile of ash right now, which is progress for Regina_. " **Give her space**."

Henry was clearly very worried for Regina. Emma shot him a look which Killian understood to mean that they would discuss what happened this evening later. It made Killian nervous, to give her time, but he could also see that Henry was concerned about his mother and needed the comfort of family at the moment. Plus, giving Regina space wasn't exactly the same thing as not keeping an eye on her. He vividly remembered his feelings when he first found out Neal was alive in Neverland. And anyone who had delved deep into the darkness like he and Regina had…the pull to react violently and in their old way was so strong…Killian shuddered a little at the thought.

"I'm going to keep an eye on things. From a safe distance." He said to the gathered royals.

"Call us if you see anything." David nodded and Killian headed off into the night.

Truthfully, he knew Regina had poofed herself somewhere and wasn't going to be found if she didn't want to. He'd check Regina's usual places and then would go with plan b: following Robin. While Regina would be difficult to find, Robin and Marian, on the other hand, were quite easy. When he returned to Granny's an hour later, Robin was sitting outside, a glass of beer untouched in front of him.

"You're in a tricky situation, mate." Killian said, walking over.

"Understatement of the century, there." Robin pinched the bridge of his nose. "What am I to do?"

"You're on your own with this one." Killian shook his head. "Though I will say I don't envy you in the slightest."

Robin glared at him. "That's not even remotely helpful."

Killian sat down, dumped the beer, and poured some rum from his flask. "Sorry, I don't give advice on matters of the heart. I'll drink with you to get your mind off it, though." He took a swig from his flask. _Was it really just a few hours ago that I was out here with Emma_?

Robin took a drink. "This isn't helpful either."

"Perhaps not. But I feel like it might be necessary." Killian shook his head as Robin downed the whole glass.

Despite all the emotional highs and lows and liberal amounts of rum of the previous evening, Killian woke the next morning with a smile and without even the slightest headache. He quickly sent off a text to Emma.

"Breakfast at Granny's before starting the search?" He asked.

Her reply came quickly. "Already ate. Searching now. Can you check the mausoleum?"

"As you wish." Killian replied and readied himself quickly. "Perhaps lunch then?"

Again, the reply was quick and, like the first, was not the response he wanted. "Having lunch with mom. Sorry."

 _You can't avoid talking about it forever, Swan._ Killian sighed, knowing she was possibly pushing him away. Again. _Stop being such a pessimist, she probably made these plans last night and wants to connect with her mother more_. His conscience lectured him.

"I guess it's off to the graveyard I go." Killian said and made his way downstairs.

As he suspected, the Mausoleum was empty. Killian figured he'd visit the library for a few new books before heading back to Granny's. He couldn't shake the feeling that Emma was avoiding him, thus avoiding a conversation about whatever they were. Still, Killian planned to give her a solid day of ducking him before he called her out on it. But, as fate would have it, when he turned the corner onto Main Street, there was Emma, walking with her mother and the baby, David and Henry not far behind.

" **Swan**!" He called, crossing the street. _Now I can report in person instead of using that infernal phone_. " **Mausoleum is all clear.** "

Emma didn't even look at him. Her " **great, thanks** " sounded dismissive and evasive. _Most certainly avoiding me_. _And pulling away again._

" **Swan, are you avoiding me?** " Killian asked. _You'll have to try a lot harder than that, Emma_.

" **Will you give us a minute?** " Emma turned to her mother, and Snow White turned around to head back towards her husband. Emma walked quickly around the corner, Killian following her.

 _What's the excuse, Swan? Henry's safety was what you used to run from your family, what excuse will you give to run from me?_ Killian waited for her to speak.

" **I'm not avoiding you. I'm just... dealing with stuff.** " She explained, rather weakly. " **We have a crisis right now**."

 _Crisis? A bloody crisis?_ _It's Storybrooke!_ " **There is always a crisis**." Killian reminded himself that this was her pushing him away, but decided he was going to do something about it. " **Perhaps you should consider living your life during them. Otherwise, you might miss it.** " _300 years of wisdom here, Swan, you might want to listen_.

And then came Leroy. Killian rolled his eyes. The mouthiest of the dwarves had terrible timing. He was going on an on about his car being _literally_ frozen by magic when Emma noticed a trail of ice.

 _Here we go again._ Killian thought ruefully. _Why must we always trek around looking_ _for_ _the monsters_?

And what a monster. As tall as a building and made up of what appeared to be ice and snow, the thing that formed in front of them was like _nothing_ Killian had ever seen before. Which was saying something.

" **We don't want to pick a fight**." Emma held her pistol in a less threatening manner.

 _Are you bloody crazy?_ Killian grabbed her arm. " **Swan**." He warned.

" **I just want to see what it wants**." She insisted.

The creature growled, blowing them over, Emma landing on top of him. If it weren't for the raging snow monster, Killian would have come up with a witty and innuendo filled remark, but self-preservation, at the moment, was more important.

As soon as the monster made it on to the main road, the citizens began to panic. _Really? All the monsters and curses and giants that have come through here and this is how you react? Running and screaming?_ Killian thought.

" **I think the noise is scaring it**." Emma remarked. " **It's headed for the forest**."

"Well, it wouldn't be a day with you if we didn't spend at least some of our time traipsing through some manner of forest." Killian quipped.

Emma rolled her eyes. "Come on."

David joined them in their pursuit. "I sent Regina a message. Maybe she has some previous…experience with this kind of monster."

"Plus one of her fireballs might be just what we need." Killian nodded.

"It seemed not to like all Leroy's screaming." Emma said.

"Swan, no one likes Leroy's screaming." He commented dryly.


	46. Chapter 46

AN: I still do not own OUAT. If you've made it this far, you know the drill: italics are thoughts, bold words are lines from the show, reviews are welcome, and enjoy! (PS, I know this one is short. Sorry. It's just how the cookie crumbled for the pacing of the story...)

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

Chapter 46

They made their way to Robin's camp, only hearing and catching a glimpse of the monster a few times. When they reached the camp, however, a loud growl alerted to them to the monster's location.

" **It's getting closer, coming from the north**." Killian said and they moved to intercept the creature. Somehow.

Little John raised his crossbow and Emma tried to stop him but it was too late.

 _Dammit._ " **It only attacks when it feels threatened.** " Killian explained. _Which, now it does. We're not properly equipped to win this battle._ " **Pistol, sword, hook…my cunning wit.** " He couldn't help but add. " **I don't think we have what it takes…** "

" **Emma does**." David turned to look at his confused daughter.

" **Your magic, love**." Killian reminded her. " **You can do this**." _I've got faith in you, Swan_.

The magic only made the beast angrier, and for the second time that day, Killian felt himself blown off his feet and everything went black.

When Killian came to, the monster was gone, and only Regina stood in it's place.

 _Well done, your Majesty_. He thought as he helped Emma to her feet.

Marian appeared to have just discovered what the rest of them already knew - Regina was no longer a monster.

Emma moved to try and talk to Regina, but the former evil queen vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving the younger woman behind. She marched off to the remains of the snow creature, visibly frustrated.

"I'll talk to her." Killian said as the others made their way back to the camp.

He watched as she tossed a piece of snow. _Something_ was going on with her, but he wasn't sure what.

" **So, crisis averted**." Killian said cheerfully.

Emma chuckled a little. " **Now you want to go home and see what's on Netflix**?"

 _Just when I think I've got a bloody grasp on the language…still, for once, you don't sound entirely like you're pushing me away._ " **I don't know what that is, but sure**." He smiled.

" **Killian…** " He could tell by the tone of her voice that she was still in savior mode. " **someone created that... Snowman. This isn't over**."

" **It never is. All the more reason to enjoy the quiet moments, and right now…** " Killian stepped towards her and dropped his voice. " **We have a quiet moment**."

" **I know.** " She whispered, stepping away when clearly she wanted to kiss him. " **I just got to do something**."

" **Right. Of course. Go ahead.** " He waved in the direction of the town. _You're not going to dismiss me that easily, Swan, with some vague excuse. You're pushing me away and I want to know why._ " **Don't tell me you're not avoiding me anymore because I'm actually quite perceptive, and this... this is avoiding me**."

" **No, I know. I am**." Emma admitted, looking down. " **I just feel... Right now, I just feel too guilty.** "

 _No we're getting somewhere. It's not the real reason, but it is a reason_. " **Over Regina?** " Killian asked, challenging her. _Come on, Swan, tell me what's really bothering you_.

" **She lost someone she really cares for because of me**." She explained, her eyes still not meeting his.

 _She did, and I warned you not to. Perhaps you'll start listening to me now_. He considered her for a moment. Emma wasn't lying, but she wasn't telling the whole truth. " **No, there's more to this than just Regina, isn't there?** " _If you don't want to try this…whatever it is…then let me know_.

Now it was her turn to regard him. Though he had a hard time reading her when it came to her feelings towards himself, Killian understood the emotions that flickered across her face. Fear was first and foremost. Emma stepped towards him and kissed him gently.

" **Be patient**." She said softly, and walked off.

" **I have all the time in the world**." Killian muttered, then added, " **Unless... Another monster appears and kills me**." _It was still Storybrooke, after all_.


	47. Chapter 47

AN: I still do not own OUAT. Season 4. Finally! Some good stuff in this season, so we'll see how far I take it.

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

Chapter 47

Killian decided he would give her some space. Emma would tell him the real reason for her fear when she was ready. Hopefully. So he stopped at the library to get a new book. With Belle on her honeymoon - however that worked when you couldn't actually leave town - one of the fairies was watching the library. Belle had given up on getting him to follow the rules and get a card and all, and so she just let him take and return books at his leisure. It was one of the sprites he didn't know, but she was occupied with the box device the natives of Storybrooke enjoyed so much. Killian returned his book ( _12th Night_. While good, it wasn't the same as the Henry stories or _Hamlet_ ) and plucked another called _MacBeth_ from the shelf he knew contained Shakespeare and the girl never looked up once.

He spent a pleasant evening reading, and was just getting to a particularly good part when the lights went out.

"What in the blazes…" Killian marked his spot in the book and went to the window. _The whole bloody town is dark…_

A ring from the nightstand startled him a bit with the light it threw off in the dark room. Emma's name flashed on the screen, along with a picture that Henry took of his mother drinking hot chocolate.

"Emma." Killian smiled, answering the phone. "To what do I owe the honor?"

"I think you noticed the lights all went out?" Emma wasted no time on pleasantries. "Power's out all over town."

"I noticed." He nodded. "Any idea why?"

"No. David said it was everywhere. We're headed to the town line to see if anything is wrong with the power lines coming in." Emma sighed. "Can you check things out in town?"

"As you wish." Killian said, knowing that Emma always smiled a little when he said that, though he wasn't entirely sure _why_.

"Thanks, Killian." She said and hung up.

He climbed onto the roof of the library, where Belle had placed a telescope, and used it to scan the border of the town.

"Bloody hell…" Killian murmured, scanning the town with the telescope. "What the hell is that?"

Grabbing the lantern he brought with him, Killian decided to make his way to the town line to see just what that thing blocking the harbor was and what it was made of. Although, he had a feeling it had something to do with the snow monster from earlier, which was definitely not good.

He cut through the woods, stopping at Robin's camp to recruit them into checking the rest of town and continued on to the border. As soon as he saw the wall - and that was the only way to really describe it - he knew it had to be related to the snow monster. If his guess was correct, that meant that there was an ice wall surrounding Storybrooke.

 _You may want to get a move on whatever it is you have to deal with, Swan. A monster may come and get my any day now that there's no escape._ Killian thought. _Not that anyone was actually going anywhere. But still. An ice wall is never a good sign. And in Storybrooke, it's never meant to keep the bad things out…_

Finally he could see the woods thinning a bit. Once he got closer, he could see Emma and David staring at the wall, considering, like he had, the possibilities of what it's for, where it came from, and who built it.

" **In case you were wondering, it goes the whole way 'round**." Killian said, announcing his presence.

David regarded him curiously. " **Hook, I didn't know you were joining us**."

 _Back to that now, are we? Could it have something to do with myself and your daughter?_ " **I get a distress call from a fair maiden, and I'm on the spot**." Killian smiled, knowing that this would get a reaction out of both of them.

" **I was not distressed** ," Emma was all business. " **and you're saying this wall goes around what... the whole town?** "

" **Aye, that it does**." He nodded.

" **So, once again, we can't leave Storybrooke**." David sighed.

Killian looked around and noticed... _what had the boy called them? Power lines._ The power lines had clearly been knocked down by the wall. " **Doing more than keeping us inside, by the looks of that.** " He motioned at the fallen wires and logs. " **Guess that's what caused the loss of power**."

" **Look at you becoming a 21st-century man. Yeah**." Emma sounded a little bit impressed.

 _I did figure out the New York City subway system all on me own, Swan. I'm not completely in the dark_. Killian thought as Emma continued:

" **It looks to me like whoever was putting up the wall wasn't trying to take out the lights. They were just putting up the wall**." She said.

" **To keep us in... why**?" David asked.

" **Kill us all one by one.** " Killian said nonchalantly. " **It's what I'd do**." _It's actually not a bad plan. Zelena was doing it too, with the whole monkey thing. Effective and efficient_.

A noise from the vehicle drew David's attention away. Since his pleasant demeanor hadn't broken through the all-business Savior facade Emma was currently putting up, Killian decided to try a different tactic and began going on about this being their second date. Mostly it was because they did have the world's largest ice bucket or cooler. _Do not worry, Swan, I'm merely teasing._ Killian thought as he continued to explain his reasoning to an amused Emma. _This is not a date put on by Killian Jones. I know how to plan an evening out and this…this is not it._

" **After all, if I only count the quiet dinners** ," He said, stepping close to her. " **We wouldn't even get one.** "

Emma was about to respond when something caught her eye. " **I think I see something by the wall. You wait here with your ice bucket while I check that out.** "

 _Well, that's something. Do you count this as a date then, Swan?_ Killian thought as he watched her approach the wall.

" **I think it's time you and I have a little talk about your intentions with my daughter.** " David said walking up to him.

" **That's a little old-fashioned, even by my standards, and I still pay with doubloons**." Killian replied. _Didn't we hash this out back in the Enchanted Forest? I mean, you didn't know it was me then, but you do now, and clearly you approved then. Make up your mind, Dave_.

" **Oh, remember, I know your reputation**." The Prince warned. " **Emma is not some conquest**."

" **I wouldn't risk my life for someone I see as loot**." _And Emma could never be just loot. She deserves much more than that_. Killian knew this was David's over-protective father instincts kicking in, so he turned to the man with a level, serious, and honest look. " **Whatever we become, It's up to her as much as me**."

David gave him a small smile and Killian knew he'd given the right answer. Not that the Prince really had any say in what Emma did, but it was nice to have her father's approval anyway.

Killian and David moved over to where Emma stood with a woman wearing the most impractical blue gown Killian had ever seen. Unfortunately, the sight of the two men seemed to make the young woman panic.

" **Emma**!" Killian called, alarmed.

" **Stay back**." She warned.

David was charging in and pulling out his weapon.

Emma held up her hands. " **Stay back, it's okay, she's just trying to find-** "

The wind, which had been growing steadily, suddenly became too much and ice shot out from everywhere and fell from the heigh of the wall, knocking David and Killian off their feet and cutting them off from Emma.


	48. Chapter 48

AN: I still do not own OUAT. I know this is the bro-ing out episode for Killian and David (sort of) but since Killian is kind of in a panic the entire time, going into his head is going to be...short. So you won't get a lot of the action from this particular episode ( _A Tale of Two Sisters_ I think?). Sorry those of you who wanted to see that. There is still plenty of panic, I promise, just not a whole episode. This will be the last chapter for at least a week, but I made it a nice long one for you!

 **Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?**

Chapter 48

Killian stood and looked at the ice wall, there was no sign of Emma anywhere. Normally he was the level-headed person in a crisis, but this was too much. He'd never really even entertained the thought of the possibility of losing her. Not really. And losing her like _that_. Killian had done enough sailing close to some very cold environments to learn quickly that ice was a terrible thing and a truly horrible way to go.

" **The device…call her.** " Killian said, gaining enough control of himself to remember that David had a communication device with him but too agitated at the moment to remember to call it a radio.

When there was no response, Killian felt the panic rise in him again. He wasn't used to caring about another person like this. Plus, that person had not been in danger without him before. If Killian were with Emma behind the ice wall, he wouldn't be quite so hopeless. Fortunately, Dave had more practice with this kind of drama and was behaving more rationally.

David tried the radio again. Still there was no response. Killian was starting to hear the desperate edge in Dave's voice that he felt in his heart.

Finally, the radio crackled to life and it was the best sound Killian had heard all day. " **Dad, can you hear me**?"

Killian grabbed the radio, relieved to hear her voice. " **Emma, say again**."

Emma explained that the woman was looking for her sister, and all about finding the necklace in Gold's shop.

Even though it meant dealing with the Dark One, Killian felt better _doing_ something. And they were making progress: From Gold's shop, David had figured out that he had known the sister in the Enchanted forest who'd been branded by a warlord. Then, he seemed to know that the local butcher was some kind of warlord in the Enchanted Forest who branded people with a magical shepherd's staff. With flowers on it. And ribbons.

Killian would have felt ridiculous retrieving the item if Emma wasn't in mortal danger. Elsa, the woman who trapped her, didn't sound particularly vicious or even evil, she sounded scared. That was worse. Evil, revenge, they all had motives for doing what they were doing. While Elsa was clearly trying to find her sister, it seemed more like she had the idea of using the ice wall as leverage _after_ she created it. He hoped she could _un-create_ it, or Emma was as good as dead.

They made it back to the ice wall just in time, it seemed. Killian felt his heart return from his stomach as the ice began to melt and he got his first glimpse of a very, very cold Emma Swan. _Thank god for David's bloody good memory. And that's not something we can often say in Storybrooke._ Killian thought as the hole grew larger. Finally they were able to pull her out and Emma clung to him for dear life.

" **Let's get her home, warmed up**." David instructed before turning back to help Elsa.

" **You okay**?" Killian asked and felt her nod as he pulled her even closer. After a few seconds, she faltered and Killian scooped her up and walked with her to the car.

Emma clung to him like she never wanted to let go. David helped them into the car and then got on the phone with Whale.

"Whale, just listen. Emma's freezing. She was trapped in an ice wall. What do we do?" David asked, not bothering with pleasantries. He listened for a moment and hung up.

"What do we do?" Killian asked. He already had his coat wrapped tightly around them both.

"Rub her hands, get her under some blankets, and get her something warm to drink." David explained. "He said as long as nothing looks black, she will be okay and won't need to go to the hospital. But we need to keep an eye on her."

Emma's teeth chattered and Killian pulled her even closer. Her skin was so cold, and she was visibly shaking.

 _Get her mind off it, get her mind off it…aha!_ Killian leant down to whisper in her ear.

"If we didn't have an audience, I could think of a few ways to warm you up quickly." Killian gave her his best eyebrow waggle.

"In…in…courage…a…ble." Emma replied, shivering. "You're…wa…warm."

"Aye. Take all the warmth you need, love." He kissed her forehead. "Let's think warm thoughts, shall we?"

"Like…what?"

"In my reading, I have discovered a similarity between our worlds. As lads in the summer, Liam and I spent many a day swimming in the sea. I've found that is also common here. Playing in the water, then laying in the warm sand until the sun dried you. Toasty and comfortable." Killian lowered his voice so that David wouldn't hear. "Of course, if we were to spend a summer day swimming in the sea, it'd be on a private island where swim clothes are unnecessary."

"Hook." David said sharply. "I appreciate that you're trying to help, but please refrain from whispering. I'd rather just hear whatever it is you're saying to my _daughter._ "

"Just trying to raise her temperature." Killian replied innocently. "Emma, love, think of the roaring fire in Granny's sitting room. Or that big, warm comforter you had on your bed in New York."

David shot him another glare, but they'd arrived at the loft. Once they had Emma inside, they piled blankets all around her. Soon, the power came back on, and as reluctant as he was to leave her, Killian remembered that there was some kind of heat box in the bathroom. He grabbed it and put it in front of Emma before wrapping her up in his arms again.

" **Oh, that's good**." Emma's voice had stopped shaking.

 _I came so close to losing her today._ Killian thought as he watched Henry offer his mother hot chocolate. _And it wasn't even due to a bloody villain, from what I can tell, Elsa can't help what she does all the time_.

Killian wrapped his arm around her again. That might be the only good thing to come out of this event: Emma had spent most of her time after they pulled her out wrapped in his arms. She'd been his arms and seemed determined to stay there. He listened intently as David and Elsa attempted to locate her sister using the staff. While he hoped for Elsa's sake they found her sister, Killian was having a difficult time focusing on anything other than Emma.

Mary Margaret came in and David began explaining Elsa's presence, but Killian didn't notice, Emma was leaning into him and he couldn't help but kiss her hair gently. _Don't do this to me again, love._ He thought. _I can't do another day like this one_.


	49. Chapter 49

AN: I still do not own OUAT. Italics are still thoughts, and there are no lines from the show in this (sorry!) short chapter. I promise the next one will be a bit longer (and Killian will quote Shakespeare). Enjoy :)

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 49

The text alert on his phone woke Killian far earlier than he anticipated the next morning. It had been a long night. Emma had slept, but Whale instructed them to keep a close eye on her for the first few hours just to make sure she was recovered. Since Killian refused to let her out of his sight, he spent about four hours sleeping on and off at the loft, sitting up with David and Mary Margaret and baby Neal at times, and once even Emma herself.

Of course, that meant his usual hour of rising with the sun was out of the question. Killian groaned as he fumbled sleepily for his phone. _Just stop bloody beeping._ Finally, he managed to grab it and pull it close so he could read the text.

"Going to the town line with Elsa. Trying to get rid of the wall." Emma's text read.

 _Too early to type_. Killian thought and pressed the number one to dial Emma. After Emma had gotten him the mobile device, Henry had set up something called "speed dial". All Killian understood was that when he pressed the 1, it called Emma. There was also a button for Henry, David, Granny, and Mary Margaret.

"Swan, it's far too early to be up." He said, still groggy.

"Sorry to disturb your beauty sleep." Emma replied. "I figured you for an 'up with the sun' kind of person."

"Normally, yes. But someone kept me up all night." He couldn't help but smile when he added: "And _not_ in a good way."

"You're hopeless." She said, and he could almost _hear_ her eye-roll.

"Do you need me to come with you and Elsa?" Killian asked, getting back to business.

"No. But meet us at the loft in an hour." Emma replied.

"I assume with coffee?"

He could picture her shy smile from the sound of her voice, so different from the voice she used when rolling her eyes at him. "Please. And…maybe a bear claw?"

"I'll see you in an hour, Swan. Good luck with the wall." Killian smiled and hung up the phone.

By the time he made it downstairs, Granny was finishing up from the usual morning breakfast rush.

"Jones, late this morning I see." She said as she finished handing off trays to her waitresses.

"Unfortunate ice-related late night." Killian sighed. "I've got to get my beauty sleep to keep my dashing good looks."

"Of course." Granny shook her head. "I assume you want coffee?"

"Sure." Killian nodded.

"You know, your dashing good looks might be more approachable if you…acclimated to this century more." Granny remarked as she poured him a cup of coffee.

"I think I've acclimated very well for someone who doesn't have the benefit of cursed memories." He countered.

"No…you're right. You've done so well it's like you're a native. I meant in terms of appearance." She explained. "You know, we have this tailor. They can take the clothes that you can get at the store and rework them so that they fit perfectly. It's just a thought."

"Aye." Killian nodded. _Clothing from this world? I look dashing in everything, true, but that would shock Swan. That is, of course, if she's even willing to see me other than to chase some monster or another. You never know with her…_

Emma was like a city with a high retaining wall. He'd breached the wall twice during storms, but mostly he felt like the tide, rising and making progress only to inevitably be pulled away again. _Like that bloody yo-yo Henry showed me_. Killian looked at the clock on the wall.

"Milady Lucas, I'm going to run a few errands. Can I have two coffees to go and one of those odd teas? I'll be back to pick them up in half an hour."

"The chai tea?" Granny asked and he nodded. "Who's it for?"

"A friend who doesn't drink coffee." Killian replied. They had decided last night to keep Elsa under wraps. For now.

Granny just shrugged. Storybrooke was a small town, she'd find out eventually. "Anything else?"

"A bear claw, a cake donut, two regular glazed, one chocolate with sprinkles, and a Boston cream." He ordered. _The should take care of everyone's donut order_. "I'll be right back." _If I'm going to get the clothing of this world, I intend to do it right_. Killian thought, mentally tracing his steps back to the location of one of his (many) hidden stashes of gold and money.


	50. Chapter 50

AN: Still not mine. Happy 50th Chapter _Devils or Black Sheep_. (seriously, it was supposed to stop at like...15?) In honor of the 50th, this is a nice, long chapter. Italics are thoughts, bold words are lines from the show, and the lovely little asterisk is my version of a footnote - which I found appropriate considering that the anniversary of Shakespeare's death was yesterday. Enjoy, me hearties, yo ho!

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 50

Returning to Granny's, Killian carefully hid his retrieved treasure upstairs, grabbed his rucksack, and went down to collect his donuts and coffee.

Granny had bagged up the donuts so he could carry them with his hook and placed all the drinks in a drink tray. _You are a remarkably kind woman, Lady Lucas_. Killian thought, and with a grateful nod, he headed for the loft.

Elsa was pacing when he arrived, clearly agitated.

"Here. Have some tea and try a donut." Killian said, handing her the drink and pulling out the box of pastries.

"Just tea." Elsa shook her head. "I can't eat right now."

"Suit yourself. These are a wonderful discovery from this world." Killian shrugged, setting his coffee on the table and grabbing a glazed donut. "Emma's not back yet?"

"No. She got a call on our way back from the ice wall and had to go investigate." Elsa sighed.

"She'll be here soon." He said, finishing his donut quickly and pulling a book from his bag. "Might as well relax and eat, love." _Seriously, love, this is pretty much a normal day in Storybrooke_.

Elsa didn't relax. Killian shrugged and made himself comfortable in the chair, book open on the table so he could read and sip his coffee. That seemed to finally get the frosty woman's attention.

"What are you reading?" Elsa asked, stopping from pacing for a moment.

"It's called _MacBeth_. It's by this fellow called Shakespeare. He was apparently a very famous author in this world and he's quite good." Killian explained. "Wrote all sorts of plays, actually."

"This world is already so confusing. I do not know that I could understand any literature from here." Elsa sighed. "What's it about?"

"A lord who plans to kill his king. He gets some help from witches and such." Killian explained. "Shakespeare I find I always understand. I may not know what the devil 'France' or 'Scotland' are, but they're kingdoms, and that's all I need know."

"Has he written many stories?"

"Quite a lot. There are a whole set of stories, rather like histories, of a place called England. Some Kings are good, some are bad, some die too soon, some are murdered, and some live much too long. The royal courts are like those in the Enchanted Forest, which makes it easy to understand, and I have a tremendous appreciation for his use of words."

"Like what?" Elsa asked, clearly into learning about Shakespeare.

"Um…let's see…one King, when wooing his bride, says 'you have witchcraft in your lips', and another says 'for within the hollow crown that rounds the mortal temples of a king keeps Death his court.'. I rather like the ones about the kings."

"That is beautiful." Elsa nodded. "And true. Kings and Queens…we're still all mortal. And someone is usually plotting to kill us."

"Aye." Killian nodded. "And you should hear the spells the witches chant. It's clever, actually. I'll have to ask Regina if it would really work."

"Not you too!" Emma exclaimed, startling Killian and Elsa.

"What?" Elsa asked.

"Is he gonna get you sucked into his Shakespeare thing too?" Emma sighed.

"Emma does not appreciate the stories as much as I do." Killian explained to a still bewildered Elsa.

"You like them because they're ancient, like you." Emma muttered.

"I heard that." Killian stood. "And you should never discount the skill of using words in such a masterful way."

"Right." Emma replied, a touch sarcastic.

He walked over to her and looked her in the eye. _I'll prove my point, Emma. You'll see_. _Though I'll have to paraphrase._ Killian cleared his throat and poured just enough emotion in to his speech to give weight to his words. "For where you are, there is the world itself, And where you are not, desolation; live, then, to enjoy thy life; myself no joy in nought but that you live"***

"That's beautiful." Elsa sighed. Emma's eyes were open wide with shock and her lips parted just slightly in the smallest gasp.

"See Swan? Words have power." Killian winked at her and turned to Elsa. "So, then, to business. The wall didn't come down?"

"Not even a little." Elsa sat down at the table and put her head in her hands, apparently not fazed by the sudden shift in conversation.

"Could it be someone else with powers like yours?" Killian suggested.

"I've never met anyone with any powers like mine." Elsa shook her head. "Emma and I both tried, but that wall is not going anywhere."

"That's a problem, then." He furrowed his brow. "Perhaps Regina could help?"

"Except she's not really talking to me." Emma sighed, grabbing for the bear claw Killian brought. "I'll text my mom."

"Where are your parents? I expected them to be here with the little royal." Killian remarked.

"Mom is getting ready for her first fireside chat and Dad is dealing with an issue Katherine had." Emma replied.

"The call you went to look at this morning?" Elsa asked.

"Yeah. I thought it was a break in, but it wasn't. Jim forgot his keys and couldn't get in and didn't want to wake her, so he tried to pry the window open. Not a good idea when he'd just come from a night out with his boys that was cut short by the power outage. He figured he'd tell her in the morning about the broken window and the table he knocked over and the vase, but she got up before him."

"So Dave is keeping the peace?"

"Not exactly. He's volunteering to help clean up so Katherine won't kill Jim." Emma explained. "Which is why I'm here and he's not. So…what's the plan now?"

"If we could get my memory back, we could figure out who put me in that urn and why. That might explain some things."

"The urn that was in Rumplestiltskin's vault." Emma said thoughtfully. "And the necklace came from Gold's shop."

"I doubt he'll help us." Killian shook his head. _Married or not, he's still the Dark One, still a demon bent on gaining power at almost any cost_.

"He will. Well, Belle will want to help us, so he'll do it." Emma sighed. "Come on. Let's go visit Gold."

The visit to the Dark One started out exactly how Killian expected it to. Gold replied to everything with lots of condescension (less though, then usual, due to the presence of Belle). Really, Killian could practically predict what patronizing statement was going to come out of his mouth next. But then something interesting happened. Gold was so insistent on proving that he had no knowledge of Elsa or her sister that he had Belle bring out the dagger. The moment he saw the dagger and the Dark One's face Killian knew. _The dagger was a fake_. He checked his temper - that little bit of knowledge could serve him well a little way down the line, considering he now had leverage on the Dark One. Even if he was trying to be a hero, he wasn't righteous enough to give away a free shot at his nemesis. _Besides,_ Killian reasoned, _this could end up helping everyone later._

Disheartened, the trio left the shop and headed for the Mayor's office. Perhaps by now Snow had gotten hold of the former Evil Queen and maybe Regina would talk to them.

It seemed to be the day for the unexpected, however. When they arrived, Robin's wife Marian lay frozen - quite literally - on the couch, Regina clearly trying to fix whatever had happened. Of course, accusations immediately flew at Elsa, but it didn't make sense. She'd been trapped with Emma a good part of the day yesterday and had spent the rest of her time with the Charmings and himself. _Good thing we're keeping Elsa under wraps._ Killian almost sighed out loud. _Nothing is ever simple in Storybrooke._

Elsa chimed in as Regina continued to contemplate the problem of a frozen Marian. " **The only way to cure a freezing spell is an act of true love**."

Killian almost visibly winced. Having spent a night or two with a drunk Robin, he knew that wasn't going to work. _Of course it's always the same answer to every curse: True Love's Kiss. But what did you do when your True Love didn't love you anymore_? Killian wondered, looking from the pained look on Regina's face to the expression mirrored on Robin's.

The thief decided to go for it, and, as Killian expected, nothing happened.

" **What's wrong? Why isn't it working**?" Robin's worry and frustration were palpable.

 _He knows why this isn't working and blames himself._ Killian felt for the other man, and mentally scheduled an evening of drinking with his friend very, very soon.

" **I've seen this once before, when Frederick was turned to gold**." David said.

" **Who the hell's Frederick?** " Emma asked.

 _My sentiments exactly, Swan_. Killian nodded.

"Jim the gym teacher." Henry sighed. " **Long story**."

" **So…the cold is acting as a barrier?** " Robin asked. " **Is there nothing we can do?** "

Regina sighed. " **Well, every curse is different. I need more time to study this one.** "

" **I'm going to go find who did this before it happens again**. " Emma turned to go, but Regina's voice stopped her.

" **Well, I hope you bring backup**." The former Evil Queen said.

Killian mentally winced. _But maybe this is good. The two of them need to get back to whatever odd relationship they had before we brought Marian back_.

Emma turned to face Regina, clearly not happy with the remark. " **What the hell was that supposed to mean?** "

" **Well, between the snow monster and the cave-in…** " Regina pointed out. " **It seems like the Savior needs saving these days**."

 _Low blow, your Majesty_. Killian thought. _Though I'll happy save the Savior as often as required_.

Emma narrowed her eyes. " **I think you're bitter and you're taking it out on the wrong person. I'll be fine.** "

 _Both are right, really. Regina is taking this all out on Emma, but Emma does not need to go alone. It's too dangerous when we don't know our enemy_. Killian nodded and turned to follow her. " **Well, I like that battle plan, so I'm with you, Swan**."

" **No**." Emma stopped him. " **Take Elsa to the sheriff's station. Keep her out of sight. Once people get word of this, they're going to be calling for her head**."

 _Nice thought, and all, Swan, but it's not really her head I'm worried about_. Killian thought, and told her so.

" **I don't have time to argue with you about this. Can you for once just do what I say?** " Emma said sharply, and left.

 _Damn stubborn woman._ Killian let the surprise, and a little bit of anger, dissipate before he turned back to Elsa. "Shall we? I don't think we can do anything more here."

*** _Henry IV part II_ , Act 3, Scene 2 (paraphrased a bit)


	51. Chapter 51

AN: If you've made it to this point, you know: italics are thoughts, bold words are lines from the show, and the characters belong to Adam and Eddie. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, followed, and favorited this story. I'm glad you guys are enjoying it.

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 51

As they made their way down the back exit to the Mayor's office, Killian got an idea. _Let's see how up for adventure you are, Elsa_. He looked back at the ice witch, who was following him deftly. They made their way to the end of the alley and Killian checked for pedestrians. He had heard Leroy and the mob and waited until they had safely passed.

" **All right. Coast is clear**." He said and began walking away, but Elsa didn't follow. Killian sighed. " **That means go, love**."

" **I'm not coming with you.** " Elsa shook her head. " **There's someone out there with powers like mine. I need to find out who. I...I can't just hide out in some sheriff's station**."

 _Good on you, lass._ Killian smirked, " **Oh. Well, that works out quite nicely, then. 'Cause that's not where we're going**."

" **It's not?** " Elsa asked, surprised.

" **With Emma running into danger? Not a chance in hell.** " Killian replied, and pointed, just for future reference. " **And the sheriff's station's that way**."

" **And what's that way?** " She nodded in the direction he'd been heading.

He smirked again, " **With any luck, danger.** "

 _Just one stop to make first. I'd hoped to hold on to this a bit longer._ Killian opened the door to Gold's shop, Elsa's look was curious, but she said nothing. Apparently, the ice queen was content in the knowledge that they were going to look for the person who froze Marian and created the wall. And by now she'd probably figured out that the Dark One was their go-to for magical answers.

"Wait here. And have that hair ready for if he agrees." Killian instructed and walked over to Gold, ready to blackmail the Dark One.

As expected, Gold had a counter for almost every argument, until Killian pulled the trump: Belle. The Dark One couldn't be with his wife all day every day. It would take almost nothing for Killian to tell her the truth and get her to attempt to call the Dark One. Despite a rocky start to their relationship, Killian liked to think that he and Belle were almost friends and certainly no longer enemies. And Rumplestiltskin's history meant that Belle could (probably) easily question whether or not her husband had given her the real dagger.

Gold was furious. " **That's a very dangerous insinuation**."

Killian raised an eyebrow, maintaining a stance of almost threatening nonchalance. " **So we have a deal?** "

" **I do hope Miss Swan's worth it.** " The Dark One muttered.

 _Aye, she absolutely is worth this and more_. Killian smiled and turned to Elsa. " **Good news! He's agreed to help**."

Elsa wasted no time. She held out the frozen hair. " **This hair is from Marian. Someone cast a freezing curse on her. We need to know who it is**."

" **Well... you're in luck. Magic can change forms, but never be destroyed. We'll simply return it to its natural state.** " Gold explained and waved his hand.

The hair vanished and in it's place were snowflakes.

" **Magic similar to yours, dearie, though not quite the same**." The Dark One pointed out. " **Much like a snowflake, each person's magic is unique.** "

 _Spare us the magic lesson, please_. " **Poetic. How does that help us?** " Killian asked.

The Dark One blew the snowflakes into the air and told them to follow it to the person who created them.

 _I've ten doubloons that we end up trekking through the forest_. Killian sighed as he and Elsa started off after the small little white flakes.

Sure enough, as they reached the edge of Main Street, the flakes headed off into the woods. As they walked, Killian marked a tree every so-often. Elsa was curious about why.

" **Leaving a trail**." Killian explained. _If you knew how many times I've journeyed through the woods following something or trying to find something, you would understand_. " **I'm more accustomed to outrunning bad weather than following it.** "

Elsa seemed to take offense to his statement. " **Snow isn't bad. And we're following magic**."

" **Try to outrun that, too, when given the chance**." Killian replied. At that, Elsa giggled. " **What's so funny?** " He asked.

" **It's just Emma has magic, and you clearly don't want to outrun her.** " Elsa pointed out.

" **More like the other way around.** " Killian sighed.

" **Maybe she feels the same way about pirates as you do about magic**." Elsa suggested.

 _A year or two ago, that might have been true._ He thought about it a moment, but that couldn't be it. Emma had never really cared that he was a pirate, only about his actions and who's side he was on. " **I've worked to change. Though, in fairness, being a pirate is not necessarily a bad thing. Particularly a charming one like meself**."

" **I think your self-appreciation is blinding you to a simple fact…** " Elsa said with certainty. " **This isn't about you. It's about her.** "

" **Is that right? A few short days, and you know Emma so well?** " He asked, clearly not satisfied with the blonde's assessment. _To be fair, she might be right. A lot of Emma's running is due to her past, not necessarily to the people around her_.

Elsa shrugged. " **We're a lot alike. When you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, it can be hard to let people in, to trust them. Even when they want what's best for you**."

 _The certainly does describe Emma. Maybe Elsa is on to something here…_ Killian thought over his interactions with Emma and his knowledge of her. She was certainly one to take on more than her share of responsibility and she'd been an orphan, that left trust issues that ran deep.

His reverie was interrupted when the pair stumbled on to the Snow Queen. Quickly, they ducked behind a log and Killian tried to call Emma on the mobile device. She didn't answer. _Dammit, Swan_. " **Why should I carry around this ridiculous thing if you're never there when I use it? We found the person who froze Marian. Get to the west edge of the woods right away**." He said quietly, leaving Emma a message.

Keeping out of sight proved to be more difficult than he thought. Elsa was extremely curious about the Snow Queen, having never seen anyone with powers similar to hers, so she kept trying to look at the woman. Killian was getting antsy, Emma hadn't returned his calls and the longer they stayed there, the more likely they were to be discovered. As soon as they tried to make a move, Killian found his legs stuck in ice, unable to move his feet.

The conversation between Elsa and the Snow Queen was fascinating. The Snow Queen clearly knew Elsa, but based on the younger woman's expressions and face, Killian decided she did not know the Snow Queen, or at least didn't remember that she did. _This is Storybrooke, lost memories are kind of a rite of passage_.

Killian listened as the Snow Queen justified her actions and claimed that Marian was an accident. _Like hell it was_.

" **No, it wasn't. You wanted them to think it was me. To blame me. Why?** " Elsa demanded, clearly agreeing with Killian's mental assessment.

" **I was trying to teach you a lesson. Eventually, everyone turns on people like us. Even friends. Even family. They're just waiting for a reason**." The Snow Queen waved her hand and sharp icicles above Killian's head began to grow and shook like they were ready to drop.

 _Bloody hell, this isn't good_. Killian thought, and saw out of the corner of his eye Elsa try to use her powers, but nothing happened. He started chipping at the ice with his hook, but he wasn't making any progress.

" **When your friend is found, you'll look responsible. Then they'll turn on you and they'll treat you as the monster that they truly see you as, and you'll know that I'm right**." The Snow Queen said.

Just then, Killian heard his favorite voice and he knew the calvary had arrived.

" **Hey! Dairy queen!** " Emma called, distracting the Snow Queen from her current plan to murder him.

" **Emma?** " The older blonde asked with a tone of recognition.

 _That sounds like they know each other. How does this woman know both Emma and Elsa but neither of them know her?_ Killian thought as the two women exchanged words and Emma blasted the Snow Queen back. David was by his side, helping him chip away at the ice. Suddenly, the icicles shook and Killian knew they were about to fall, but then he felt himself pushed away by a warm wind that smelled faintly of lavender and vanilla and cinnamon - Emma. Unfortunately, the momentary distraction of having to save her father and Killian had allowed the Snow Queen to escape.

They checked the forest for a few minutes but found absolutely no sign of her, other than the strange ice castle formation the Snow Queen had made.

" **No sign of her. Not even tracks**." Emma sighed, pacing.

" **What is it? You okay?** " David stood in front of his daughter, stopping her. " **Hey, we're gonna find her. Don't let Regina shake your confidence**."

" **It's not that. It's this snow queen. It's like she didn't just know Elsa. She knew me, too.** " Emma replied, frustrated.

 _That is what worried me too, Swan_. Killian nodded.

David wasn't convinced. Either that, or he wasn't going to worry about it in front of his daughter. " **Well, you are the sheriff and the Savior and royalty. I think pretty much everyone in Storybrooke knows who you are**."

Emma sighed. " **There's something more. It's like, when she said my name, I-I-I don't know. It sounded familiar.** "

" **Well, we'll figure it out. But today you did good**." David smiled. " **You stopped her. It was a pretty impressive show, sheriff**."

" **That it was**." Killian chimed in. " **But perhaps we should keep searching, find the villain's lair, as it were**."

Emma narrowed her eyes at him. " **So you can almost get yourself killed again? That's exactly why I told you to go to the sheriff's station.** "

Killian watched, surprised and hurt, as Emma walked over to check on Elsa.

"What did you do?" David asked softly.

"Haven't a clue, mate. This was pretty much a normal day for us in Storybrooke." Killian shook his head. "She'll tell me when she's ready. I hope."

David didn't respond, merely gave a nod and changed the subject. "You need a ride back?"

"Aye, but drop me off on Main. I've some errands to run." Killian nodded.


	52. Chapter 52

AN: Here's a nice, long chapter with some CS goodness to help you through the (hopefully temporary) heartbreak of 5x20 _Firebird_. (Not Okay Adam and Eddie!) If you've made it to this point, you know: italics are thoughts, bold words are lines from the show, and I own nothing (if I did there would not be so many tearful goodbyes...). - hopefully that was fairly spoiler-free. Enjoy!

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 52

After so many years, Killian knew what he liked. It took him almost no time at the Men's Clothing Emporium to purchase a few pairs of pants, several shirts, waistcoats, and one leather jacket. All in black. The clerk had rather nervously suggested that Killian try the items on, but he could see what would and would not fit, and the shirts would all have to be altered anyway. The clerk did help him, however, find the most comfortable pair of black boots. Sturdy, practical, and warm, they would be perfect for the weather in Maine year-round.

He dropped off the pants, shoes and waistcoats in his room at Granny's before heading to the tailor with his jacket and shirts.

The owner, Taylor Smith, was an older man with round glasses and a mostly friendly demeanor. "Captain Hook. To what do I owe the honor?"

 _Honor? I don't think a pirate visiting your establishment counts as an honor in any realm, even myself. Odd thing to say._ He shook the thought from his head and got down to business. "I need a few things altered." Killian explained, setting the articles of clothing on the counter. "They fellow at the shop told me to get the jacket a bit big and that you could tailor it to fit."

Taylor studied them. "You didn't want to branch out, color wise?"

"I've spent enough years in this color to know that I like it." Killian shrugged. "How long will this take?"

"The shirts? I'm not very busy so those I'll probably finish today, if it's just the cuff. The jacket? It depends on how much work is needed." Taylor the tailor nodded. "Fastest would be sometime tomorrow, at the slowest, three or four days. Let's try these on so I can get started and give you a better estimate."

Killian tried on one shirt and his jacket. Fortunately, the only thing needed for the jacket was a little work in the shoulders and the cuff on his left arm. The shirts Taylor declared to be a simple fix.

Killian pulled out a wad of cash - something told him he would be needing the clothes sooner rather than later. "Will this help speed things along?"

It all needed to be done quickly if he was going to surprise Emma. _But their first appearance would have to be some kind of occasion, I'm not just going to show up for the next monster chase in a whole new get-up_. And, if he was being honest, it needed to be done quickly if he really wanted to move on with his new life in the land without magic. A life where he was not a villain any more.

"For that? I'll have them all done tomorrow." Taylor nodded.

That errand complete, Killian returned to his room at Granny's and finally let his mind wander back to earlier that day. The shopping had taken his mind off the Emma problem temporarily, but in the quiet of his room, it all came roaring back.

Elsa had given him surprising insight into Emma. Clearly the Snow Queen was getting to her, as was her role as Savior. And, for someone who never had people who counted on her or people to count on, the family she'd found in Storybrooke must be, at times, hard. It was not a _real_ reason to push him away, and Killian didn't even think it was the main reason. Emma's instinct was to push people away to protect her heart at all costs, to keep everyone out. Still, he'd brought down a lot of those walls, or so he thought.

He needed air, a drink, and some solitude to work this out. Heading out the back way to avoid to crowded diner, Killian sat himself down at one of the tables and opened his flask. It was too cold for anyone else to be out there and the night was cool and quiet, aside from the gentle hum of activity inside Granny's.

Trying to win Emma's heart had been a little like walking the railing of a ship in rough seas: the progress was slow, sometimes even requiring a step back, and you never really felt sure of your balance from one moment to the next.

"So why bother?" A voice asked.

Killian didn't even need to look up. He knew the voice belonged to professed-not-to-be-a-hallucination-Neal. The pirate sighed and looked up from his drink. At least the apparition was wearing a coat this time.

"She's worth it, mate." Killian said simply. "Will I ever be rid of you?"

"Hopefully, this is the last time you'll need me for a while." Neal nodded, sitting down. "So, what are you going to do?"

A few flippant remarks flew into his head but Killian knew to be honest with the ghost/hallucination. "Tell her I understand. Remind her to trust me."

"You think this is about trust?"

"Aye. She's had so much to deal with, especially where relationships are concerned, I don't think she trusts me not to break her heart." Killian regarded his not-a-hallucination carefully. "You don't?"

"I think…that you shouldn't give up." Neal shrugged.

Killian looked at the other man-ghost-hallucination, deadly serious. "I'm never going to."

He took a swig and when he put the flask down, Neal was gone. The door to Granny's flying open drew his attention and he saw the subject of his musing practically running out. She looked like a woman on a mission - long strides, golden hair flying, trying not to notice him. From the look on her face, she was still annoyed with him from earlier.

 _Enough running for today, Emma_. Killian gestured at the table. " **Swan. Don't make a man drink alone.** "

Emma continued to walk. " **I'm not in the mood for a drink or a man**."

Killian stood and chased after her. " **I'm sorry I didn't listen to you today. All right, I know you feel like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders. But at some point…** " He hooked her arm, halting her escape and turning her to face him. " **Even though we're quite different, you've got to trust me**."

" **That's what you think this is about?** " Emma asked, incredulous. " **That I don't trust you?** "

 _Could Elsa and I have both been wrong?_ " **Is that not what it's about?** " Killian was confused.

" **Of course I trust you**."

" **Then why do you keep pulling away from me?** " He demanded.

Emma's confession came in a rush, pain filling her eyes. " **Because everyone I've ever been with is dead**."

 _Oh Emma, love, it is about trust, just a different kind._ Killian thought. _You just aren't used to anyone sticking around_.

" **Neal and Graham. Even Walsh. I lost everyone**." Emma admitted sadly, tears forming in her eyes. " **I... I can't lose you, too**."

Killian's face softened. " **Well, love, you don't have to worry about me**." He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. " **If there's one thing I'm good at, it's surviving**."

He could see some relief wash over her and made a decision. Up until that point, Killian had let her make many of the moves because he hadn't wanted her to run away from him completely. Not this time. Killian knew now there was nothing in the way of their happiness, and was determined to convince her to let them try. So, he stepped closer to her and pulled her close, capturing her lips with a crushing kiss.

Emma's response was immediate and passionate. _Gods I love this woman_ , Killian thought, winding a hand through her hair.

"I'm not going anywhere, Swan." Killian whispered, resting his forehead against hers.

"I…" Emma paused, smiling slightly. "How do you always know what to say?"

He touched her cheek gently with his hand. "I told you on the beanstalk, love, you're a bit of an open book. Not always, mind you, but it's easy to see things in someone else when you've felt them yourself."

Realization dawned on Emma. "In Neverland, you could hear the cries. My parents, Regina, they couldn't. We could."

Killian looked down for a moment to gather himself, playing with her hair. "My life has not always been…'one swashbuckling adventure after another', as you so eloquently put it."

"I know the feeling." Emma whispered.

"Perhaps, one day, we will sit and swap stories." Killian leaned in to kiss her again. This time much slower, but with just as much passion as those earlier kisses. Just as the kiss deepened, her mobile phone went off, beeping loudly. _Damn bloody nuisance, those things are_ , Killian thought, grimacing.

"Ignore it." Emma shook her head, playing with the lapels of his coat. "Where were we?"

"Right about…here." Killian kissed her again, but then the mobile device began ringing.

Emma sighed and pulled the device out of her pocket. "It's Henry, I've got to take this."

"By all means." Killian kept his hook on her hip and grabbed a blonde curl with his right hand and began playing with it.

"Henry? What's up, kid?" Emma asked.

Killian could make out a few of the words, like "alone" and "Robin". Emma was off the phone quickly, and put it in her pocket with a sigh.

"Regina wants to be alone after this afternoon." She explained. "I have to go get Henry."

Killian nodded. "Of course." _Just don't run away on me. Don't use the boy as an excuse_.

"I'll…I'll call you tomorrow." Emma gave him a quick peck on the cheek before hopping in the bug a speeding off.

Killian sighed. _Might as well go help Robin drown his sorrows_.


	53. Chapter 53

AN: Got my fingers crossed for tonight, so I figured I'd post while I watch...(commercials...le sigh...) If you've made it to this point, you know: italics are thoughts, bold words are lines from the show, and I own nothing. Enjoy!

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 53

Once again, Killian was late for his normal breakfast at Granny's. He had walked back from Robin's camp in the very early hours of the morning. It took more than a keg of beer and the combined efforts of Little John and Killian to get Robin to talk through all the things going on in his life. _And I thought my relationship was complicated_. Of course, Robin blamed himself for not being able to wake Marian, and not because of any cold barrier. All three men knew exactly why it hadn't worked: Robin was in love with Regina. He had mourned Marian and moved on. Killian then had a chilling thought: _what if Milah suddenly came back? You'd still chose Emma. Yes, you may have used Milah as an excuse for anger and revenge for a few centuries, but getting over the actual pain of loosing her had taken much less time_. No, if Milah somehow returned from the dead Killian would care for her, certainly, and would want to make sure she was happy, but he knew it was not going to be with him. _Really, Milah and I brought out the worst in each other_.

After finishing breakfast, and musing some more about Robin's unenviable predicament, Killian checked his phone, remembering Emma's promise to call him today. _Don't run from this, Swan_. The phone blinked once and then refused to work. He sighed and brought it upstairs to charge, deciding to play darts to pass the time until his talking phone was done re-charging. The diner had thinned considerably, and Killian was on a roll. This game amused him and allowed him to focus on something other than Emma, at least for a few moments.

That is, of course, until she came barging in to Granny's, a look rather like what Henry had dubbed her "Savior Mode" gracing her features.

Killian turned from his game, feeling his adrenaline start to kick in. " **The Snow Queen turn up? Did I miss the search party**?" _Damn bloody talking phone, it chooses a poor time to die on me_.

Emma seemed surprised and a little nervous at his response. " **Oh, n-nothing to miss. There's no sign of that ice witch yet**."

" **That's all right, Swan. You'll find her.** "

" **Yeah, I know. Uh, that's not why I'm here.** " She said.

Killian regarded her curiously. " **Then why are you here?** "

" **Well, I thought about what you said last night about being a survivor, and you're right.** " She began.

Killian turned back to the dart board, partially to gather his thoughts, and partially because the adrenaline still coursing through his body really did need an outlet. Plus, if this was where she told him things were really not going to work out, he didn't want to look at her for that speech. " **It's like I said, love, you don't have to worry about me.** "

" **Good, 'cause I'm here to ask you out**." Emma said in a bit of a rush. " **To dinner or something**."

 _I'm sorry...you're here to what?_ All keyed up for battle and thoughts going a different direction, her reply threw him off kilter. So much so that his dart missed the target completely. Turning, he felt his adrenaline shift from crisis mode to fueling his emotions and his (admittedly) devilish charm.

" **Shouldn't I be the one asking you out?** " Killian asked. _I am familiar enough with the courtship rituals of this realm to know that_.

Emma smiled. " **Should have known you'd be old-fashioned, given your age... what are you, like 300?** "

 _Oh, that's how you want to play it, Swan?_ Killian stepped closer. " **Curses and Neverland may have given me experience. But as you can see, I've retained my youthful glow**."

Emma scoffed at this, but it was an amused scoff, not one of true exasperation. Killian paused, knowing she was anxious about his answer, though he couldn't imagine why. " **I happily accept on one condition... you let me plan the evening.** "

" **I know how to plan a date**." Emma argued.

" **You know how to chase a monster.** " Killian corrected her. " **I know how to plan an evening out**."

The return of their usual banter had calmed his nerves - and he suspected hers as well, though a slight blush remained on her cheeks.

" **Well, I don't pillage and plunder on the first date, just so you know.** " She warned.

Killian couldn't help himself. He gave her his most smoldering look and replied, " **Well, that's because you haven't been out with me yet**." _Besides, in our counting system, this is actually our third date_.

Soon after, Emma left. The thought of a real, true, _modern_ date began to sink in slowly, along with the realization that his easy morning had just become significantly busier. As much as he loathed to do it, Killian thought back to the date he'd seen Emma go on in New York. _Nicer than Granny's. Dressed up a bit - actually a perfect reveal for my new look. Perhaps flowers?_ Killian looked down at his hook. _Maybe put my leverage to good use…_


	54. Chapter 54

AN: If you've made it to this point, you know: italics are thoughts, bold words are lines from the show, and I own nothing. Thanks for all the reviews and follows, y'all. Sorry about the delay - I was moving and was without the internet for FOUR DAYS (not a fun experience, let me tell you!) Enjoy :D

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 54

Gold was none too pleased to see him. He was even less so when he heard Killian's request and the threat that accompanied it. Killian knew this was probably the last time he'd get to use his leverage against the Dark One but being a whole man for Emma…that was worth it.

The Dark One was unimpressed with Killian's reasoning. " **Oh, I see blackmail brings out the romantic in you. But this hand may bring out the worst**."

 _Is this the all magic comes with a price speech, really? I think the price is giving up valuable leverage on you, Crocodile._ Killian wanted to be sure, however. " **What the devil does that mean?** "

" **This hand belonged to the man you used to be... cunning, selfish pirate. If I reunite this with your body, there's no telling what influence it could have on you**." Gold warned.

 _That's ridiculous. It's a hand. It has no say in any other part of the body._ Killian narrowed his eyes for a moment and then laughed. " **Sorry, Dark One. I'm not gonna fall for your tricks today. Nothing can change me back. Now give me my hand, or Belle finds out exactly who she's married to, because unlike me...You haven't changed one bit…Crocodile**."

With a wave of his hand, Killian found his left hand back where it belonged. " **Don't say I didn't warn you.** " The Dark One sighed.

That did give Killian pause, but he waited until he was outside to really consider his actions. But no, his hand couldn't make him evil, it couldn't undo a few years worth of trying to change his ways. Shaking his head of the thought, Killian made his way to the tailor, hoping his shirts would still fit okay without the brace.

"Hook, you don't have a hook." Taylor the tailor said in surprise when Killian walked in.

"Yeah. Long story, mate. Are my things ready? Will they fit?" The former pirate asked, unable to keep himself from flexing his left hand over and over, just making sure it was still there.

"Jacket's done, as are about half of the shirts. I will have them finished by closing time if you need them." Taylor nodded.

"Let me have one of the ones you haven't started on and the jacket. I need it for tonight." Killian said.

"The jacket should be fine. The cuff will be a bit big but not noticeably so." Taylor handed him two hangers with the items of clothing on them. "Stop by tomorrow and get the rest, if you like."

"Aye." Killian nodded. "Many thanks."

Clothes now in hand, Killian headed for his next stop: the restaurant. He'd used the phonebook in Granny's earlier to look up the place, but he wanted to actually see it before making a reservation. Luigi's seemed like a nice place, live music, candles, romantic setting.

"Excuse me, I'd like to make a reservation." Killian said, walking up to the maitre'd.

"For when?" The portly Italian man asked.

"Tonight. 7:30." Killian replied.

"You're in luck, if there are only two of you. I have one table left for tonight." The man smiled. "Name?"

Killian almost held up his left hand and waved it, but then remembered that his hook was gone. "Jones. Put it under Jones."

"Very well, Mr. Jones. We will see you tonight." The Italian bowed his head slightly. "It is for two, correct?"

"Yes. Two." Killian nodded and walked off towards Granny's. He had a phone call to make and he wanted to make it in private.

Pressing the button for Henry on his now fully charged phone, Killian waited for the boy to pick up.

"Hey Killian, what's up?" Henry's voice came back over the talking phone.

Killian belatedly remembered that there was school today. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"It just let out." Henry replied. "What's up?"

"I…wanted to talk to you. Man to man." Killian said. He was _not_ going to get approval from David to take Emma out but he felt it was only right that he consult Henry.

"I'm on my way to study at a friends house. Does it need to be face to face or can we talk on the phone?" Henry asked, curious.

"The talking phone will do. Your mother asked me out today. I agreed. But I wanted to check with you first." Killian explained.

"Look, I'm never really going to love the idea of my mom dating, but I want her to be happy." Henry sighed. "Are you calling to get my…permission?"

"Aye." The former pirate nodded, even though Henry couldn't see him. "She's your mother, it's only right."

"Did you talk to Gramps?"

"No. Your mother is old enough to make her own decisions. She doesn't need her father's permission, but if…if this were to go somewhere, Henry, I'd want you to be okay with it."

"I'm okay if you agree to a few rules. One, keep the pd…the displays of affection to a minimum, two, no more making out in front of Granny's. Three, you keep taking me sailing."

"I was going to do the last one anyway." Killian smiled. "I can agree to your terms. Thanks Henry. Good luck with your studies."

Killian hung up the phone and took a deep breath. That was more nerve-wracking than he expected it to be. He went through his mental to-do list again: reservations, check, clothes, check, flowers - will get them on the way, transportation - not needed at this time, Henry, check, Robin…

Grabbing his phone again, Killian set out for the forest. Robin had yet to acquire a phone, so the only way to talk to him was in person. And with the way the past few days had gone for the thief, Killian was going to check on him as often as possible. Robin was concentrating on what appeared to be one of Roland's toys.

"Hey mate." Killian said, walking in to the camp proper.

"Killian." Robin nodded. "What brings you out here."

"Just seeing how you were doing." Killian shrugged sitting next to him. "And I came to loan you a book."

"A book?" Robin raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Figured it could take your mind off of…everything. It's a good story. Lots of killing and not a lot of love." Killian handed him the copy of _Henry IV_. "Which is, I think, exactly what you need right now."

"A good story, huh?" Robin looked the book over. "Thanks, Killian. What brings you here so early in the day?"

"I've a date with Emma tonight. I wanted to drop this off before because much as I like you, I like her more." Killian smiled. "And I figured after last night you probably needed a night in with Roland and maybe a good book."

"Too right you are." Robin nodded. "A date with Emma, eh? Sure took you long enough."

"Emma's a…complex woman." Killian shrugged. "And a very impatient one. I've got to go. Let me know what you think of the book."

"Why?"

Killian grinned. "Just a little…competition of sorts going on between Emma and me."

"Oi! Your hand is back." Robin exclaimed, just noticing.

"Yeah." Killian glanced at the left hand.

The other man narrowed his eyes at his friend. "What did you do?"

"Nothing. I traded a bit of harmless information for it." Killian held up both hands. "I swear, Gold really has maybe turned over a new leaf."

"You sure?"

 _No, but no one else needs to know about the blackmail_. "Positive, mate. I'm a new man, and I think he's trying to be too." _Which is, actually, maybe a little bit true. But somehow I doubt it_.

"I trust your judgement. Go. Have fun." Robin nodded and turned to look the book over again, the faintest of smiles on his face.

 _Robin, check._ Killian thought. _Now to get ready_.


	55. Chapter 55

AN: So this story turned one yesterday. I was going to try and post but...let's just say teachers at the end of the year are severely limited in time. Crazy considering it was supposed to be a short little story. Thanks to everyone who has made it this far and followed, favorited, and reviewed. And in honor of the anniversary, a nice long chapter. Enjoy!

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 55

Arriving at the loft, Killian took a deep breath. _You are Captain Hook, you will not be nervous. Really, it's your third date. So no reason to be nervous._ Taking another deep breath, Killian knocked, tucking his left hand behind his back.

The door opened to reveal Emma, and she was _exquisite_. Killian took a moment to take in her beauty, and she was clearly shocked at his appearance as well.

" **You look stunning, Swan**." Killian said, having found his voice and breath.

Emma had not quite found her voice. " **You... Look…** "

" **I know.** " Killian smiled and stepping into the room, he knew he was handsome and he knew that his self-appreciation always helped bring out his and Emma's playful banter (and calmed their nerves). " **Now that I'm settling into this world, I finally thought it was time to dress the part**."

Emma scoffed a little, smiling, and relaxing a bit. Killian held out the single red rose he'd been hiding behind his back, and Emma took it, chuckling a little at the tradition of it all. " **Wow, you really went all out.** " She said.

Snow spoke up, " **Uh, Emma…** "

Finally, Emma looked down and noticed his hand. " **Is that…** "

" **Mine? Yeah.** " Killian nodded. " **The Dark One kindly restored what he once took from me. It seems he has indeed changed his ways**."

" **So, what do I call you now... 'Captain Hand'?** " She asked, clearly flirting.

He smiled. " **Killian will do**."

Emma seemed to remember that they were still in the loft with her parents. " **Okay, Killian. We should get out of here before David decides to give you his overprotective-dad speech**."

Killian couldn't resist the urge to wind David up, just a little. " **Well, you can spare yourself the trouble, mate. I assure you, your daughter couldn't be in better hands**."

David narrowed his eyes. " **That's exactly what worries me, especially now that you have two of them**."

Emma made her way to the door. " **I can take care of myself**."

" **You sure you don't want me to drive?** " David called.

Emma said goodbye and Killian gave David a cheeky grin before putting a hand on Emma's back and guiding her out the door.

"Do you do that on purpose?" Emma asked.

"I don't know what you mean, Swan." Killian replied innocently. "Shall we? You are breathtaking and I could spend the evening staring at you, but…I know what you're like when you're hungry. So we better get going if we're to make it on time."

"And where are we going?" She asked.

"You will see when we get there." He offered her his arm gallantly and they made their way toward the restaurant.

As far as dates go, the beginning was…a little rocky, between the shop talk and the unfortunate incident with the wine and the thief. Killian was beginning to worry about his left hand. _Had the Dark One been right? Was the hand cursed? Or was that just my temper at a bloody idiot messing up our date?_ Fortunately, no other incidents occurred and they settled down to a very pleasant dinner. Killian even managed to shake all the fear about his hand taking over and turned his whole focus on Emma.

"So, Swan, what made you decide to ask me out?" He leaned back a little in his chair as the meal part of the evening wound down.

Emma sighed, "Well, I did think a lot about what you said, about being a survivor and not going anywhere. And then when I got back to the loft with Henry, I found out that Ashley had seen us last night and texted mom. Which meant that my parents decided they needed to have a 'discussion' with me."

"What, like a naughty teenager?" Killian bit his lip to keep from grinning.

" _Exactly_ like a naughty teenager." Emma sighed. "And Henry heard everything."

He shook his head, smiling. "Not fun for you, I imagine, Swan."

She glared at him. "I'm not telling you any more of this if you keep teasing me."

Killian took both her hands. "My humblest apologies, Swan. I swear I'll not tease you again about it."

Emma narrowed her eyes at him a little, but decided to continue. "So once the…speech was over, Henry and I had a nice chat upstairs. He just looked at me and said 'If you think he will make you happy, Mom, you have to ask him out'."

"Good lad." Killian nodded.

"He is." Emma smiled. "He really is."

 _I'll definitely have to take the lad sailing. Often_. _Now for part two of my plan_. Killian said, "Well, Swan, what do you say to a moonlit stroll along the water?"

"I'd like that." She nodded. He stood and helped her up, throwing a handful of bills on the table.

"You know, that's not really how you're supposed to do it." Emma said dryly as he held the door for her. "They have this thing called a check that you ask for."

"I'm aware, Swan. Changed man or not, I'm still a pirate. I can't follow _all_ the rules." Killian winked at her and offered his arm. "Shall we?"

As they approached the water, Killian noticed small goosebumps appearing on Emma's arms. Taking off his jacket, he placed it around her shoulders.

"Thanks." Emma said softly, giving him a bashful smile. "So…I like the new look. It's you, but more…modern."

"Yes. to be honest, my favorite bit is the shoes. Marvelous things, they're comfortable but easy to get on and off, and still manage to be very sturdy." Killian smiled, showing off one foot. "I have to say, as much as I love seeing you in reds and blacks, this…softer color suits you well, Swan."

She blushed a little. "Yeah, that's one thing New York did do for me. I got much better clothes."

"I don't know if I'm remembering it correctly, but didn't Henry say you arrived here with almost nothing?"

"Almost nothing. After I decided to stay, I had my landlord send my stuff. There was never very much, just what would fit in the bug. This time I got to pack more and I had better stuff."

"I'm still partial to the red leather jacket. Though I did like the red dress you had at Midas's ball." Killian smirked.

"I couldn't breathe in that thing." Emma shook her head.

"Maybe it wasn't the dress that took your breath away." He suggested, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

She laughed. Killian decided that Emma's laughter was the greatest sound in the world, full of pure joy and clear as a bell, it made his heart skip a beat.

"You're incorrigible." She smiled. "Let's play a game. Have you heard of twenty questions?"

"I imagine you ask each other twenty questions?"

"Yeah, but the goal is to get to know each other. Well, better, anyway." Emma explained. "Like, I might start off with an easy one, what's your favorite color?"

"Blue." Killian said immediately.

"Blue? Really?" Emma looked at him, surprised.

"Aye, blue." He nodded firmly. "And yours?"

"Yellow." She smiled. "Okay, what'd you really think of New York?"

"A bloody jungle. But it has an excellent transportation system. And a lovely library." Killian replied, making sure to keep the questions light but informative. "If you weren't Sheriff, what would your dream job be?"

"I don't know. I kind of like investigating and helping people. Maybe it would have been fun to be, like, a secret agent." Emma shrugged. "A secret agent is kind of like a sheriff, but they don't tell anyone and they have all these gadgets and they protect people and take out the bad guys."

"Sounds exciting." He nodded. _And it is basically what you do now, but you use magic instead of gadgets_.

"My turn. Not including alcohol, what's your favorite drink?"

 _So not rum. Or whiskey_. "Well, I'm learning to enjoy cocoa with cinnamon." Killian teased. "But honestly? Coffee. If we ever have to go back to the Enchanted Forest for some reason, I'm bringing along a shipload of coffee and maybe something to grow it there. Let's see, I know your preference for lunch and breakfast…ah! Not including bear claws, what's your favorite breakfast?"

"Scrambled eggs and pancakes. Not waffles. Plain, buttermilk pancakes covered in butter and syrup." Emma smiled. "Do you have any nicknames?"

Killian looked up at the sky. "No, I can't tell you that one." _Nope. No. No. No. Not that nickname_.

"Come on! Please? And you better not say Captain Hook." She warned, pouting.

 _What is it about that damned pout? Why can't I refuse it?_ "Fine, Liam…he used to…" _Better just out with it and let her laugh_. "Liam used to call me 'Killy'."

Emma covered her lips with her hand and giggled. Killian couldn't help but smile. "Don't you dare tell Dave, Swan."

She merely nodded, still trying to reign in her laughter.

They'd made a sort of loop at the waterside and were near enough to Luigi's that they could hear the soft strains of the violin. Killian paused and bowed, holding out his hand. "May I have this dance?"

Emma paused for a minute, unsure. Then she placed her hand in his and nodded. Killian pulled her in close, relishing the use of his hand that he'd had in his pocket most of the night (just to be sure it didn't cause any more trouble). At the moment, however, all he could think about was how silly that sounded and how nice it was to have Emma wrapped in his arms, swaying softly to the music.

A while later, once the music had stopped, they made their way back to the loft. Emma turned to look at him, a small smile on her face. " **Well... Not bad. You actually managed to make me forget that Storybrooke was under siege from an evil Snow Queen**."

 _Aye, except for my little loss of control._ Killian thought, then said. " **I was worried that our run-in with that thief might have cast a pall. I apologize for overreacting**."

Emma caused little shocks of electricity to pass through his body as she ran her hands down both his arms and grabbed both of his hands. " **Hey. It's okay**." And Killian was finally beginning to think that it really might be.

Then Emma blushed a little. " **You want to come in and have coffee with my parents, a newborn, and a human ice maker?** " She paused as they both chuckled a little. " **I really need my own place.** "

" **I suppose we'll just have to wait till next time.** " He suggested. _Though I think it best, as much as I loathe to admit it, that we wait on that aspect, Emma_.

Emma regarded him mock curiously. " **Next time? I don't remember asking**."

 _You've had your fun, Swan, now let me do my part in this whole thing._ " **That's 'cause it's my turn**." Killian looked at her seriously. " **Will you go out with me again?** "

She didn't answer with words, merely leaned in and kissed him. Killian wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. For a minute it seemed like the left hand wanted to wander lower, but Killian moved it up to tangle in her hair instead, regarding the hand accusingly as the kiss wound down. _I don't want to worry about my damn bloody hand, I want to focus on kissing Emma._ He thought, furious at himself and his traitorous appendage.

" **Okay**." Emma sighed, shrugging off his jacket gracefully and turning to give him a beautiful smile. " **Good night**."

"Good night." Killian whispered to the closed door.


	56. Chapter 56

AN: the usual. I own nothing, italics are thoughts, bold words are from the show. We're really getting in to season 4, y'all. Hopefully this story will help you over the long summer between now and the premier of season 6.

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 56

Killian considered his newly re-acquired hand as he walked, a tad aimlessly, back to Granny's. He wasn't expecting to see that idiot thief from earlier trying to break into the library of all places.

" **Bloody hell**." Killian said.

" **That's what I say.** " Will responded without thinking, then looked up at Killian, nervous. " **You**."

 _Remember me, do you? Bloody idiot has got to be drunk._ " **I've been a pirate long enough to know there's nothing worth stealing in there**." Killian pointed out. _Not entirely true, but I'll be damned if I let this bastard violate one of my favorite places in town_.

" **That's what you think**." The young thief retorted.

 _Please tell me I was never like this at his age_. Killian rolled his eyes. " **You're drunk, mate. Go home**."

When he tried to move the thief away from the door, the young man shrugged him off forcefully. " **Get off me, man**."

Without a thought, Killian shoved the thief away and punched him soundly across the face.

" **What the hell, mate?** " The thief asked, holding his bleeding nose.

 _Damn! Damn! Damn!_ Killian thought, maintaining an angry facade but seriously beginning to freak out about his hand. Channeling his best threatening Hook voice, he stepped away from the young man and said " **You tell anyone about this, you're a dead man**." _Gods, if Emma finds out…could the hand really be cursed? What the hell is wrong with me? I didn't want to punch the git, he's just a drunk idiot._ " **Bloody crocodile was right**." He muttered.

Killian knew he was damned before he even stepped near the bloody Dark One's car. But he felt like he had no choice. Cursed or not, he had to get his hook back before the hand did any more damage.

It was as bad as he feared it would be. The Dark One had managed to not only get rid of his only leverage, but had extracted a terrible price from Killian as well. God knows what the Dark One had in mind for tomorrow. Unable to face other people, Killian made his way to the docks.

"You are really stupid, you know that, right?" Not-a-hallucination Neal said, sitting down across from him.

Killian took a swig of his rum and looked sourly at the apparition.

"Of course you know that." Neal nodded. "You need to tell Emma. Everything."

"And have her hate me?" Killian scoffed. "No."

"What made you think blackmailing my father was a good idea? Why did you even feel the need to get rid of the hook in the first place?"

"You don't understand. I just…I wanted to be whole. Be a new man for her." Killian buried his face in his hands. "You don't have to tell me it was an idiot. I am well aware of my own stupidity. But I can't tell Emma. I can't bear to have her hate me."

"She might not, you know. She might understand if you explained."

"I don't think you believe that any more than I do and you're a bloody hallucination. One that I thought I was rid of."

"I'm really not a hallucination, Killian, and I thought you were set on your path." Neal sighed. "Look, in the Underworld, they have this booth that lets you kind of…haunt the living. We're a little different. We're not really…haunting. More like guiding."

"Wonderful for you." Killian said sarcastically. "How'd I get saddled with you as a 'guide'?"

"Maybe destiny thinks you're a hero, that you're worth saving. Listen to me or don't, just…it's going to sound trite but you've got to do the right thing, Killian. That's the measure of a hero, not how many times you chase a monster or save someone. It's doing the right thing even when it's the hard thing."

"Lovely advice. Are we done?"

"For now." Neal sighed, and vanished.

 _Bloody stupid tosser_. Killian seethed as he took another swig of rum. _Self-righteous bastard_. Another swig of rum. _But damn him, he's right_. This time a gulp of the rum. "But I can't tell Emma." Killian sighed, laying down to look at the stars. "I can never tell Emma."

All too soon, the Dark One arrived and woke him. " **Good morning, Captain**." Killian sat up, glaring at him. " **Well... I trust you're ready.** "

 _No, Crocodile, I'm not hung over._ Killian grimaced at the unspoken question. " **I'm ready to pay the price and get this over with**."

And then, because it was Storybrooke, Killian found himself following a broom of all things with the bloody Dark One. As they made their way up to a cottage behind some bushes, Killian's curiosity got the better of him.

" **To whom is our bristled guide leading us?** " He asked. _Better to know all the details if I have to confess them all later._

" **Someone who wronged me long ago. And today, he's going to pay the price**." The Dark One knocked on the door and an old man opened it, clearly unhappy to see Gold. " **Hello, old friend. Captain, please see our host to a seat**."

 _Don't think, just do it._ Killian forced himself to push the old man into the house and hold him in a chair. _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry._ Killian thought towards the old man as he held him down and the Dark One walked in with a box of sorts. The conversation between the two men told him that Gold had attempted this before.

" **You may have the hat, but we both know you will never collect enough power to do what you want**." The old man said.

 _All he's taking is power? Not that I want to see the Dark One with any more magic, at least I'm not helping with murder._ Killian felt relieved. _This wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to confess to Emma and the others. If he ever had to. Which I won't. Because this is all about to be over_.

So distracted by his own thoughts, Killian missed what was happening and all of a sudden, the old man was being sucked into the hat. Literally.

" **Where the hell did he go?** " Killian demanded, shocked and confused.

The Dark One picked up the hat, clearly pleased with himself. " **Exactly where I need him**."

Once back at the pawn shop, Killian couldn't wait to get rid of the blasted hand and get out of there. " **Okay. We're done. I've fulfilled our deal. Now take it off.** "

With a wave, the hand was gone and the hook was back in place. Gold smiled. " **Our deal actually isn't complete.** "

" **I say it is. You can no longer control me, mate. I just saw you use the real dagger, so I know you're lying to Belle. You've got nothing on me**." Killian countered. _You're not going to trick me again, Dark One_.

Gold pulled out a tape. _Those are like those DVDs that Henry uses to watch movies, but they're older,_ Killian thought, _why the devil is he waving that around like a threat?_

" **Security tape... from the house we just left. How do you think Miss Swan is gonna react when she finds out what you did to that kindly old man?** " The Dark One asked.

Killian narrowed his eyes at the older man, his control on his temper slipping. " **I know how that device works. And if I'm on there, so are you**."

Gold did something with his hands. " **And now I'm not. But you are**."

 _No, you will not get me to agree to anything further._ " **I only did what you asked so I could rid myself of that cursed hand so I could become a better man. Emma will understand that**." _I hope_.

" **Even when she finds out the truth?** " The Dark One asked innocently.

T _he bloody hell are you talking about?_ " **What truth?** "

" **This hand isn't cursed**." Gold said.

Killian felt his heart plummet. " **No, you said…** "

Gold chuckled. " **You were right. Dark one lies. Dark one tricks. This hand is nothing but a lump of flesh. The only thing it did was give you permission, permission to be the man you really are... not some puppy dog chasing after the object of his affection, but a ruthless pirate who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. I did you a favor. I helped you remember the darkness that lies beneath**."

As the Dark One spoke, Killian's temper got the best of him and he felt more and more of Hook creep back in as anger and vengeance took over. _You want darkness? You've got it, you damn bloody bastard._ " **Then you know that that darkness will have no problem crushing Belle's heart.** " Hook threatened.

" **If you go after my love... You will surely lose yours. You threatened my marriage, tried to destroy the only light in my life, and for that, you will owe me as long as you live**." The Dark One replied, certain in his position.

Hook wasn't buying it, not completely. " **What if I'm willing to take you down with me?** "

" **I think... I know you better than you know yourself, dearie. So here we are, Captain, still in business together. I think... You and I are gonna have some fun**." Gold said, and dismissed Hook from his shop.


	57. Chapter 57

AN: sorry for the late updates. Kitchen renovation has taken over my life. #NewHouseProblems. I own nothing, italics are thoughts, bold words are from the show. Enjoy!

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 57

Killian walked for nearly an hour. As he walked, the anger, and Hook, faded into the recesses of his mind. Finally, he remembered that the rest of the world had gone on while he was having his little mis-adventure with the Dark One. Looking at his phone, he saw two missed calls and a text from Emma wondering where he was and saying that she had a lead on the trail of the Snow Queen and needed him. That text felt like a punch in the gut. _I should have been there for Emma this morning, not kidnapping old men with the Dark One because I made a stupid, and now admittedly selfish, decision_.

 _Emma needs you, idiot, pull yourself together and get moving, you can deal with the Dark One later_. He told himself firmly and made his way to the Sheriff's station.

When he entered the station, he saw Emma talking to the young thief, who was behind bars. The thief looked at him, and Emma turned too.

" **Where were you?** " She asked, sounding both irritated and concerned.

Killian began apologetically, " **Sorry, love. I just got your message. I…** "

" **It's okay. I just need another minute here.** " Emma said softly and turned back to her quarry. " **You were about to tell me who did that to your face.** "

The thief shot him a glance and then turned to Emma. " **It's a bloody mystery to me. Your guess is as good as mine. Must have been some party, eh?** "

Relief washed over Killian that the thief wouldn't force his confession, not now.

" **Well, if you remember anything, I'll know where to find you**." Emma said and made her way over to him.

" **You're just gonna keep me in here because I broke into a bloody library?** " The thief called, clearly appalled at the situation.

Emma regarded the thief for a moment. " **Because you crashed my date**." She stopped in front of Killian and smiled. " **Which turned out pretty good, despite the rude interruption.** " She noticed his hand, and didn't seem perturbed, merely…surprised. " **What the hell happened to your hand?** "

 _Was Neal right? Did Emma really not care about the hook?_ " **It appears the Dark One's magic wasn't all I'd hoped it would be**." Killian said, which was true. It wasn't the whole truth, but it was part of the truth.

Before they could set out to hunt for the Snow Queen, David and Elsa rushed in.

" **Emma, there's something I need to talk to you about**." He said.

Emma and Hook made their way over to where David and Elsa stood. " **Well, make it fast. I want to go after the Snow Queen before the trail gets... cold**." Emma said, clearly not entirely happy with her accidental pun.

David got right to the point. " **The name the Snow Queen's been using in Storybrooke, Sarah Fisher, that name doesn't appear anywhere in the census records.** "

 _Not in the census?_ Killian thought. _How is that relevant?_

" **What does that mean?** " Emma asked.

" **You're right... She didn't come here by any curse.** " David said.

 _That's not good. Not good at all._ Killian thought, looking at Emma.

" **Then how did she get here?** " Emma wondered, then asked the far more important question. " **What the hell does she want with me?** "

After a bit of somewhat discouraging discussion, they had decided to leave off the "why" question and focus on what they could find out.

"I'll get Robin and his men and we will check the area the Snow Queen was seen in last." David said. "You three stay here and go through the books Belle brought and I'm pretty sure Regina has records from the beginning of the first curse in her office somewhere, maybe we could figure out when she bought the ice cream shop and figure out when she got here."

"Aye, I'll take care of that." Killian nodded.

"Will you take care of Henry after school today? It's my day to have him but I have a feeling we'll be tied up here and he doesn't need to spend his afternoon waiting around while we look at old books and records." Emma asked, sheepishly.

"Of course, love. I'll send him a message on my way to the mayor's office." He smiled, pleased that Emma trusted him with the boy. _How could I have ever thought she didn't trust me? Anyone that Emma will willingly leave Henry with is someone she trusts implicitly_. _I'm just glad there wasn't any residual issues of trust in terms of the lad after Zelena's little cursed-lips stunt_.

"Right. Hook, you want a ride to the Mayor's office?" David asked, grabbing his keys.

Emma gave him a smile. "We'll trek through the woods another day."

Killian winked. "I can't wait."

"I can." David said, clearly uncomfortable and practically dragged Killian out of the station.

As soon as they got in the car, David shot Killian a look.

"Dave?" Killian asked, "Something bothering you?"

"Other than the Snow Queen who somehow knows my daughter and wants something from her?"

"Aye, other than that." _Just spit it out, man. I can almost guess what it's going to be anyway_ …

"Emma likes you. And for now, you make her happy." David said. "But that's my little girl. So, in all seriousness, if you hurt her, there will not be a place for you to hide that Mary Margaret and I can't find you."

Killian had to force himself not to laugh. It sounded so much like the (according to Emma) famous line of her parents. He'd even heard David yell it out a window at the bandit Snow White. "I'll find you. I'll always find you." But if he laughed now, David might actually use that sword.

"Fair enough, mate." He nodded, choosing the safer route and for once, not trying to wind David up. "Though I do believe you remember our conversation in the Enchanted Forest."

"I do." David nodded. "I can't believe that was you and Emma. I'm not saying I approve, because…I'm a dad. And maybe one day you will understand what that means - but not too soon."

 _Agreed. Slow is the only way to go with Emma. And I am not ready to have children. Or even think of having children. I can't take care of another…human, even if it would be partially me, partially Emma. I can't even properly take care of myself, I have to have some guide from some "other place". Though I still swear he's a hallucination. A very thorough, drunken hallucination_. Killian told himself firmly.

"Hook." David said, snapping him out of his (slightly panicked) thoughts.

"Sorry mate. What I told you earlier still stands. It's as much up to her as it is to me. But what I told you in the past is true as well: I'd go to the end of the world for her. Or time." He replied seriously.

"That works for me." David stopped the car in front of city hall.


	58. Chapter 58

AN: the usual. I own nothing, italics are thoughts, bold words are from the show. Sorry for the long time in between updates (kitchen reno...seriously time consuming). But because I feel so bad about not updating in a while, here's a nice, long, long chapter for you :)

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 58

The secretary let him in to the records hall and Killian was immediately taken aback by the sheer _amount_ of information stored in this place.

 _These curses are very, very thorough._ He thought, walking down aisle after aisle of meticulously organized files by subject - either person or place - and then date. There was no box for Sarah Fisher, the name the Snow Queen had been using for apparently years in Storybrooke, but there was a box for "Any Given Sundae", the snow witch's ice cream shop. He put the box to the side and went quickly to see if he had a box. Sure enough, there it was, curiously listed under "Jones, Killian" with a note below that read "AKA Captain Hook".

 _You really don't have time for this, and it's probably not a good idea to look._ Killian told himself, but pulled the box anyway. Henry wouldn't be ready until 2 o'clock, and it was only noon now. Emma was buried in books with Elsa, and she probably didn't expect him back for another hour.

There were several file folders - one titled "Giant", which he was sure referred to his part in releasing Anton on the town. There was a picture of himself and Cora, plotting something or, more likely, Cora bossing him around. _Why did I work with her for so long?_

There really wasn't much in his box. A few police reports, a few reports where he was named in a break in or crime but was cleared by Emma or David when the person filing the report turned out to be a drunk or paranoid or a former victim who couldn't support their accusation with anything. _I was going to say, though I've hardly been perfect, I haven't done anything worth getting arrested for in Storybrooke. Well, shooting Belle wasn't the best thing, but…I wasn't trying to kill her, so that can't be but so bad…_

Killian kept digging and found a report about him that was true. _I did hit David on the head. I'm pretty sure I apologized for that, though. He shouldn't have stood between a man and his hook_.

Digging some more brought back memories for Killian. There was that time, between when he stabbed Gold in New York and going after Henry in Neverland, that was utterly confusing.

 _Now I know why. My revenge was…unsatisfying and I didn't really know how to handle it. And then there was Emma. And I tried getting revenge again through those two idiots, because I thought that would fill the void I had felt since Milah. And it didn't. Nothing did because revenge is never a happy ending_. Killian shook his head and closed the box up. _That tape will never make its way in here_. He vowed to himself. _And I'm going to be a better man from now on_.

Putting his box back on the shelf, Killian grabbed the box Emma required and made his way back to the Sheriff's station. Despite the ride David had given him earlier, it really was a short walk.

" **Paperwork, ahoy!** " Killian announced, entering the station. " **Old city records from the mayor's office, per your reques** t."

Emma gave him a small smile and he felt his heart skip a beat.

Killian set the box down and opened the top, Elsa digging in almost immediately. The blasted thief, who was still in the cell, started yelling about dinner, which Emma grudgingly provided. Killian made a mental note to bring her something later, as that was probably her lunch.

Killian finished emptying the box for Elsa. " **Well... I'm off to take Henry sailing, love, unless there's something else you want me to do here**." He made his way over to Emma.

" **Make sure Henry wears his life vest, okay?** " Emma smiled as they moved in close for a kiss.

They were, rather rudely, interrupted by the man in the cell. " **Befriending the son to get in with the mum? Yep, no one will ever see through that**."

 _What the hell do you know about anything, bloody sarcastic bastard?_ Killian thought and turned, threatening look on his face. " **Why don't you keep your thoughts to yourself... Mate**." He said evenly.

Moment now ruined, Killian made his way back to Emma and kissed her cheek gently. " **Goodbye**."

After spending a lovely afternoon with Henry, Killian dropped him off at the loft, hoping that Emma would be home. She was not, David reported that Emma had wanted to stay at the station and go through a few more things.

"I'll stop by and see that she gets dinner, then." Killian nodded. "Henry, we'll go again soon."

"Thanks Killian." Henry grinned and practically ran over to Elsa.

"Word of warning, mate. Henry and I got into a…discussion about what Elsa could make with her magic." Killian smiled at David.

David sighed. "You're idea?"

"His." He shrugged, then added: "With a little encouragement. I'm off, then." Killian beat a hasty retreat before David could scold him. It was certainly going to be an interesting evening in the Charming loft, as Henry had started off with wondering what Elsa could _make_ , and it had only escalated from there.

Still smiling, he made his way into the mostly dark Sheriff's station. Emma didn't hear his approach so he knocked on the doorjamb with his hook. " **Hello, love**."

Emma turned and gave him the tiniest of smiles. But this wasn't like when she was trying not to smile, in this case this was the best she could manage.

 _This is no good, Swan. What's happened?_ " **You seem vexed…** " Killian dug his flask out, knowing she would appreciate the gesture. " **Like you could use a drink.** "

" **That's putting it lightly.** " Emma sighed, taking a swig.

Killian noticed the box next to her desk, which was not like the boxes from the courthouse or station records. " **What's that**?"

" **What's left of my childhood**." She replied, handing him back his flask.

 _That cannot be an easy box to go through. Or share with anyone. But maybe…_ Killian thought, taking a chance and hoping that Emma wouldn't run from this. " **May I have the honor**?" _And indeed it is an honor, Swan. Not only to learn more about you, but for you to let me in to this part of your life_.

Emma regarded him for a moment, before picking up the box and placing it on the desk. She opened it and sighed. Killian waited patiently, he knew that Emma would need to take her time with this. It was hard for her in the first place, and he doubted that she'd ever shared these things with _anyone_ , likely not even her parents.

" **Are you okay?** " Killian asked, reaching tentatively for a box. The last thing he wanted was for her to close up on him because he was rushing her.

" **I think so.** " Emma said and handed him a small box.

Killian smiled slightly, this was a big step for Emma, to trust him with this. Setting the box down, and not sure what he'd find inside, he resolved to treat everything with care and let her see how happy he was that she'd chosen to open up to him. Opening the lid, Killian looked through the random contents. The glasses were adorable. _I bet Swan looked delightful in these_. He picked them up and grinned at her. He inspected a strange looking ring, and setting that down, noticed a picture of Neal. Moving a few items aside, he picked it up.

It was Neal and Emma, smiling at each other. He did love her. Killian knew Emma was watching him carefully for his reaction to the picture. Truly, he felt nothing but remorse that his friend was no longer with them - _except for those times when I have a hallucination of him_. Killian looked up and met her eyes, trying to communicate to her that it was okay. Emma blinked and looked away, focusing on her blanket. Suddenly, she reached in to the box and pulled out a device. Killian returned the picture and focused on her. " **Swan?** " He asked, and followed her as she left her office.

"What is that device?" Killian asked, confused.

"It's a video camera. It takes videos. This is just an old one." Emma explained, pulling a small video tape out of the camera and putting it in a larger one, before sticking the larger video tape in another device. _This modern technology is complicated_. Killian mused, sitting against a desk.

" **I haven't watched this since I recorded it, but some things happened today, made me think about the past**." Emma explained, sitting next to him.

" **Reflective today, are we?** " He asked, lightly, then realized that she was serious.

 _We've got this far, Swan, don't stop now._ Killian reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers. " **Hey. Show me. I'd love to know more about your beginnings**."

Emma smiled and started the video. It was young Emma and another girl, making faces at the camera and having a grand time. Killian couldn't help but smile, she was a beautiful child and it was nice to see her being so free and silly.

" **Who's that lass?** " Killian asked.

Emma's answer seemed sad. " **Just an old friend**."

Keeping their hands intertwined, Killian put his arm around her and pulled her close. Clearly, whoever this was on the screen was part of what had Emma thinking about the past today. Emma's reaction told him that the memory wasn't entirely pleasant, despite the grinning girls making silly faces on the screen. Emma sat up as the scene changed to show a young lad.

" **Where is that?** " He asked.

" **I... I don't really remember**." Emma replied softly. " **Maybe my next foster home?** "

 _That's concerning, Swan. Please tell me it's because you were in a lot of places in a short time, not because something magical has happened to your memory - it is Storybrooke, after all._ " **Blocked it out? Unpleasant time?** " He suggested. _I understand, Swan, there are things that I have blocked out and never want to think of again_.

" **I guess.** " She didn't sound convinced.

 _Well if you've forgotten the place, maybe you remember the people._ Killian tried again to find out who the young lad was. " **Who's that? Another friend?** "

" **I don't remember any of this**."

Killian's fears were realized when Sarah Fisher, the Snow Queen, walked into the scene. Emma sat up and let go of his hands as they both were shocked to see the blonde woman, dressed in the clothes of this realm, reprimanding the lad and then speaking to Emma. He couldn't believe it. " **Bloody hell. Is that…?** "

Emma stopped the video on a close up so there could be no question. It was the Snow Queen. " **Yeah**." She whispered, the shock and fear evident in her voice.

 _It's never over in Storybrooke, is it? How does this sort of nonsense keep happening?_ Killian thought to himself. _But I've got to get her mind off it, at least for a bit_.

"I have to show this to Elsa…to everybody." Emma stood, clearly still disconcerted.

Killian stood in front of her. "Stop, Swan. It's late, you can do that first thing tomorrow and we can get the whole crew here - Elsa, Henry, your parents, even Regina, and go over all of this and try and solve it. Tonight, you are too tired and too much in shock, and if I miss my guess, you've probably not eaten much either."

Emma looked at him as if he were speaking a foreign language.

"Storybrooke will survive until morning, love. Let's get you some food." He said softly. "Granny's is still open."

"Okay." Emma nodded. "I'm on call tonight."

"I'll let Dave know that you need him to take over for a bit." Killian grabbed his phone and sent a message to David, vaguely informing him that Emma was fine but wouldn't be able to be on call and that she'd fill them in tomorrow morning. "Done. Dave is on the job."

Emma took his hand. "Thanks, Killian." She said firmly, slowly coming back to herself. He knew he had a limited amount of time to get her to relax before the shock wore off and she turned into the Savior and was focused on actions and solving problems. Killian intended to use his time wisely and get her to actually deal with her shock before diving in to trying to solve the Snow Queen's riddle. Not only was it a healthier method, but she'd probably see things clearer in the morning.

They made their way into Granny's, which was practically deserted, due to the late hour. Granny helpfully packed up their order, and Killian directed her towards the rooms.

"Now, we'll take this up to my room, eat, and relax." Killian instructed.

"I can take care of myself." Emma's shock had, by now, worn off and she was less than ecstatic about him taking care of her.

"Never said you couldn't." Killian quipped, experience teaching him that this was _always_ the answer, whether it was true at the moment on not. "But, just this once, let someone else take care of you, Swan."

Emma muttered something that sounded distinctly like "Pushy Pirate" but made her way up the stairs to Killian's room.


	59. Chapter 59

AN: So sorry for the delay (a whole month!) in updating, y'all. New house = new problems. Updates are going to be pretty spaced out for the rest of the summer but I promise the story has not been abandoned. I plan to take it near the end of season 4 and then maybe jump to the Underworld arc (I honestly can't keep the timeline straight in 5A and I don't want to write Killian as the Dark One/not the Dark One and 5B was just so interesting, character development-wise). Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and followed this story. I'm glad you are enjoying it. As always, I own nothing, there are no lines from the show in this chapter, and thoughts are in _italics_. Chapter 60 should be up by the end of the month. Also, I have changed the title because I never really liked it, but it didn't bother me when I was only planning like 5 chapters. Now that we're at nearly 60...yeah. Sorry for the long note. Enjoy!

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 59

They sat, huddled on the couch, munching on a burger and fries and grilled cheese and onion rings, while drinking the rum Killian kept pouring from his flask into their borrowed coffee cups from downstairs.

"Not bad for a second date." Emma mused. "Or is it the fourth?"

Killian smirked, "We really need to come up with a consistent method of determining what counts as a date."

She nodded. "It should end in a kiss."

"Which eliminates the ice wall." He reasoned. "I think we should both be aware that it is a date. Before it begins."

Emma was quiet for a moment, clearly thinking. "Let's do this: the monster hunt, this, and I'll even give you the ice wall, will count as 'half dates'."

 _What a ridiculous, yet entertaining, conversation._ Killian smiled. "I like that. Happy 1 and 3 halves date, Swan."

Emma giggled and leaned in to his arms. He played with a lock of her hair, thinking about earlier that evening. _I'm not touching the memories/Snow Queen issue with a ten foot pole, but the other things in her box…I'd like to know more_. Killian studied her face for a minute, trying to gauge her mood.

"I have some questions, if you're ready to answer them." He said, then followed up quickly. "Not about the time you can't remember, but the other things in your box."

He felt her tense for a moment, and then sigh. "You can ask. I can't promise to answer."

"Fair enough." Killian nodded and decided to let her start with an easier question. "Did you really need the spectacles?"

Whatever she had been expecting, her reaction confirmed that his question was not it. _Good. I like keeping you on your toes, Swan._ Killian smiled. _We can get to the heavier things later, I imagine you were quite a thing to see in those spectacles_.

"I…" Emma sat up and looked at him. "Really?"

"Yes, really. I'd like to know." He nodded encouragingly.

"I did. I mean, I kind of need them a bit for reading. But I found out that people are less likely to suspect you of things if you walk around in, well…nerd glasses." She sighed.

"Based on the photograph, I'd say they suited you." Killian smiled.

"Okay, my turn. That picture…it didn't freak you out?"

"Emma, Bae…Neal, he was the father of your son and I imagine your first love. That is not something to take lightly or forget." He glanced at his own arm. "Does my tattoo bother you?"

"No." Emma shook her head. "I guess not."

"The past, though not always a pleasant place in our memories, has brought us to who we are now." Killian said softly. _I may bitterly hate my choices, but I've yet to learn to regret them as they have brought me here_.

"One of those things in that box was a pleasant memory. Brian Boyd. He gave me the ring."

"An admirer? First boyfriend?" He suggested, smiling.

"No. He was this kid that was at my foster home for a while. He was six and I was ten." Emma began.

"I do believe they call that 'cradle robbing' in this realm, love." Killian couldn't help but tease her.

She rolled her eyes. "No. His mom died and his dad was in the military and didn't even know he existed. So Brian got dumped in my group home until his dad could be notified and come get him. It was going to take a few days to get in touch with him and Brian didn't have any other family. Brian was only at the home for a week, but a lot of kids that grow up in the system, they kind of have two outcomes: they're mean, or they're tough."

"And I imagine the tough kids don't get along with the mean ones."

"You don't really mess with each other. And if he'd been older, or tougher, I'd have left him to the mean kids. But Brian. He was this sweet, innocent kid. Barely six, terrified out of his mind, missing his mom, and having absolutely no clue what was going to happen next. So he shows up with his blanket and teddy bear and suitcase and a box of things from his mom. And, of course, the mean kids immediately honed in on all the things they could steal from the new kid. I…stopped them. I basically stood in front of his stuff, turned to Brian and said that I'd help him get his stuff to his room and that _no one_ would mess with him."

"I bet you had a new friend."

"A shadow." She smiled, remembering. "Anyway, I had a reputation at this home, so no one messed with him and Brian kind of became my little brother for a week. So his dad finally shows up, and takes him to some restaurant to explain what's happened and what is going to happen. And Brian comes back with this…mood ring. You can get them for a quarter in a little machine at stores. And he walked up to me and said 'my dad says he can't afford another kid, so you gotta stay here, but I wanted to give you this'. And he hands me the ring."

"Poor lad was in love."

Emma swatted at him playfully. "No. He said that it was a present. And that I was like a knight in a story, protecting him, but because I was a girl I couldn't be a knight, I had to be a princess, and all princesses should have rings."

"And you kept it." Killian nodded. _Swan, you've always been a protector. That's your father and mother shining through, without a doubt_. "Brian knew you were a princess before you did."

"Yeah, that's all still weird to me." She shook her head. "And on that note, I should probably get home."

"I'll walk you." Killian stood and offered her his hand.

"Killian, it's late." Emma said, taking the help and standing. "I'm fine now. Thanks for…you know."

 _Letting you work things out instead of charging ahead?_ He thought, but wisely said, "It's good form, love. Besides, a walk will help me sleep."

She rolled her eyes but acquiesced.


	60. Chapter 60

A/N: So I have changed the title (if you haven't noticed) I just never really liked the title that it was. So, there's that. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and followed this story. I know the updates have been...less frequent lately. But I'm making it up to you with a long chapter! Yay! As always, I own nothing, bold words are from the show, italics are thoughts, reviews are welcome, and please enjoy :)

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Killian's mobile talking device went off early the next morning. _I bloody hate this thing_. He thought as he reached over to grab the infernal device. He smiled a bit when he saw the message was from Emma.

"Meet us at the station in an hour"

Killian sent back a quick response. "I will be there." Us, as he learned, meant the Charmings, Henry, Regina, sometimes Robin, lately Elsa, and occasionally Belle or Archie or Granny or Leroy, depending on the crisis of the moment. Though Granny wasn't likely to be there, as the meeting was not at her diner. Then he thought of something else, and sent another message. "Do you require sustenance?"

"Too early for big words donuts" Emma replied.

He chucked, and another message came in. "Texting has no sentences/punctuation"

 _What terrible grammar, Swan_. "Alas, I cannot reign in my extensive vocabulary, nor can I neglect the forms and rules proper writing and prose, however, I will bring the lady donuts, as requested." Killian typed back, making sure to use as much punctuation as possible.

Emma didn't respond, but Killian knew she was rolling her eyes and smiling at his response.

Killian was glad he grabbed a whole dozen donuts, as Belle was there as well and they would probably need them as a snack later. The Dark One wasn't allowed to partake. He might have agreed to not kill him, that didn't mean Killian was ready to feed the man breakfast - especially not his own personal favorite. No donuts for the Dark One.

Since he'd already seen the video, Killian watched the others. Snow and David were the most interesting. Henry, Regina, Belle, the blasted imp - they all focused on the fact that it was the Snow Queen. Snow and David were, like he had been, fascinated by the image of their daughter at the age of 14.

Unfortunately, Regina brought them back to the (honestly) more pressing matter: " **Are you missing the part where she's with the Snow Queen? Emma, you knew her before you came to Storybrooke**?"

" **Apparently my run-in with her in town wasn't the only memory she erased. All this time in this foster home, or whatever that place was... It's gone**." Emma sighed.

 _Since you're the one who usually_ _does_ _have her memories, Swan, this has got to be tough._ Killian thought, sitting back and listening to the others discuss how the Snow Queen got here, and why she was here, and why she'd taken Emma in all those years ago only to erase her memories later.

" **Well, we know she's hiding somewhere in the north woods**." David pointed out by means of a solution. If they could find the woman they could ask her questions. " **We combed every inch of her shop. We tore apart her house. She must have cleared everything out days before**."

Killian liked where this was going. " **Which means she must be hiding something**." _It is only logical. If you only meant to hide yourself, you left all your stuff. If you meant to hide more, that's when you do what the Snow Queen was doing_.

" **But where?** " Emma asked.

" **What about her ice-cream truck?** " Henry suggested.

 _Ice cream truck? They have a truck that, what?…Delivers ice cream?_ Killian wondered. Apparently it was a good idea because Emma and Regina were both smiling proudly at the lad.

" **Then we split up into groups. We search the town, the woods. Hook, Regina, Emma, you take the west**." David took charge and began dividing them up. " **Gold, you're with me for the east.** "

The Dark One wasn't having it. " **I think we all know I work best alone**." _Bloody uncooperative tosser._ Killian thought.

" **Well, no time to argue that**." David was unfazed by Rumplestiltskin's response. " **Belle, how are you at tracking**?"

" **Uh, actually, I-I think I'll be more helpful at the library. Maybe I can dig something up on the Snow Queen**." Belle said, and it seemed to Killian that she was…nervous for some reason.

" **I'd like to come with you, Belle, if that's okay. Maybe something about my sister will be there, too.** " Elsa said, and, picking up on the other's woman's discomfort, added, " **Unless you'd rather not have the company?** "

Belle had never looked less genuine when she replied, " **No, n-not at all. I would love some.** "

"I'm gonna call Little John - get Robin and his men to keep an eye out." Emma said as they made their way out of the station.

"Don't take too long." Killian nodded. "I was promised a trek through the woods."

Emma rolled her eyes and dialed a number. "Remind me that we have _got_ to get Robin a cell phone."

 _Agreed_ , Killian thought. _I'm tired of walking all the way out there to see him or ask him something_.

"John? Emma. Yes. I need you guys to do me a favor. We're looking for an ice cream truck. Any Given Sundae. You know it? Okay, call me if you find anything." Emma said and hung up. "Ready? Where's Regina?"

"Let's get this over with." Regina sighed, walking out of the station.

The trio headed off towards the forest. Regina hung back a little from Emma and Killian, either because she was just annoyed to be around them or to give them privacy.

"Swan, what is the purpose of an ice cream truck? Is it for delivering ice cream?" Killian asked as they walked.

"No. An ice cream truck…someone drives it around and actually sells ice cream out of it to kids and people in their neighborhoods. Like, she wouldn't sell big tubs of ice cream like she did in the store, she'd sell cones or something similar - a single serving." Emma explained. "They usually play music to let kids know they are coming."

"What a marvelous idea." He nodded. "Is this venture profitable?"

"I don't really know. I mean, in a place that's hotter it's very profitable in the summer, I believe." Emma shrugged. "It could be-"

She was interrupted by the ringing of her mobile device. "Swan." She said, answering it. "You found it? Where?"

Killian couldn't hear the conversation, but from her response he gathered that Robin's men had found the missing ice cream truck (though he still didn't fully understand the concept).

"Robin and his men found it. It's just up ahead, they're guarding it for us." Emma said. "Regina, did you hear?"

"Yes. The sooner we find this thing the sooner I can get on with the part of my day that doesn't involve the woods." Regina replied.

After about ten more minutes of walking, they saw the first of the merry men, armed with a bow, standing guard. Emma pulled out her radio. " **David, call off the search party. We found the truck near the merry men's camp**."

They approached the truck that was now visible. Killian saw Robin's eyes light up when he realized Regina was with him.

" **Thanks for keeping an eye out.** " Emma said.

" **Gladly. You're the first sheriff I don't mind assisting.** " Robin replied, but his eyes were clearly on Regina. Killian watched his friend drop back and try to speak to the evil queen, " **Uh, Regina, I was hoping we could talk**."

 _Bad move there, mate_. Killian thought, pausing so Regina and Emma (those with magic) could approach first.

" **Um, in case you haven't noticed, I'm about to storm an evil ice-cream truck.** " Regina said, clearly trying to avoid the conversation.

" **You could have just said, "maybe later."** " Emma reminded the other woman.

 _Don't try to reason with her right now, Swan, it'll get you nowhere._ Killian thought.

" **I know you're trying to make everything better, but staying out of it is your best bet**." Regina replied. " **It's bad enough I'm stuck with you and captain guy-liner making eyes at each other.** "

 _Oi! What the devil do you mean 'make eyes', your majesty?_ Killian thought as Emma muttered. " **I don't make eyes**."

 _I will repay you for the Captain Guyliner comment, Regina, just as soon as I figure out what 'guyliner' means_. Killian thought, walking by a stalled Emma. " **Ready, love**?"

The truck was unlocked as Killian and Emma opened the back door, Regina ready to blast anything that might come through but the vehicle was empty.

" **It appears she beat us to it. She's cleared out the vessel**." Killian pointed out.

" **What now?** " Regina asked, clearly frustrated. " **Should we question the cows she gets her milk from? Maybe search the waffle-cone factory?** "

Killian continued looking, and then Emma paused, finding something.

" **Hang on. Look.** " She picked up a lock. " **Who locks their freezer? Was she afraid someone was gonna steal the Rocky Road?** "

 _I can open that easily, love_. " **Stand back**." Killian warned, and swung his hook at the lock, breaking it.

Emma pulled a metal bar out and then opened the top. Killian was curious, he was pretty sure that the Snow Queen had left whatever was in there for a reason. So far he had no reason to trust that it was a good thing. Emma pulled out a file folder and slid a paper out of it, her face changing.

 _She's found something_. Killian thought, looking closely at her expression. _It has to do with her past_.

" **Looks like the dairy queen's been following me for a long time**." Emma said.

 _That's not good. Longer than when you were in that home?_

Regina voiced his thoughts. " **Since before foster care?** "

Emma handed the paper to Regina and Killian got a good look at the headline: 7 Year Old Finds Baby On Side Of Road.

" **Since I landed in this world**." Emma said softly.

 _You were the baby, Swan._ Killian felt the pieces fall into place. _But how did the Snow Queen know_?

Killian helped Emma down from the truck, as she was still buried in the file. Apparently it held a great deal of information that Emma had never seen or didn't remember.

" **According to this, she was my foster parent for six months.** " Emma said, reading.

Killian knew she was going to need to talk out what she was finding. " **Aye?** " He asked, prompting her to continue.

" **That's the longest I was ever in one spot, but I don't remember a second of it**."

" **You all right, Swan?** " Killian asked, sauntering over to the log where she sat.

" **I'm fine**." She replied. " **It was all a long time ago**."

Killian wasn't buying it. This was most certainly affecting his Swan. " **Mm, perhaps, but wounds that are made when we're young tend to linger**." _I've got to tread gently, but perhaps I can pull down another wall_. _And well do I know the truth of that statement - wounds in childhood are much more traumatic than wounds as an adult_.

" **How would you know?** " Emma cast him a curious look.

 _Not ready to open that one yet, Swan. It's too painful._ " **Believe it or not, I was once a child**." He replied, skirting the issue a bit.

She scoffed. " **Yeah, like a million years ago**."

" **It was more like 200**." He corrected her, sitting down next to her.

Emma opened the folder, her look one of wonder and concern.

" **What is it?** " Killian asked. He was familiar with folders, and files, and such, but this one didn't appear to contain anything like the ones they had in the sheriff's station or the mayor's office.

"I **t's a painting I did when I was in school.** " She answered, which didn't really explain things.

" **That so surprising?** " _If foster families were anything like real ones, would they not keep things from their loved ones? I have Liam's journals and a few other things from my travels_.

" **It's not the only one. This crazy woman has a whole file of my old art projects and essays.** " Emma said. " **Just like the one I have for Henry. You don't keep stuff like this unless you care about someone.** "

" **Well, perhaps the Snow Queen wasn't simply using you. Perhaps she'd grown fond of you over time**." _Who knows, Swan? You don't remember so you could have had a wonderful home with this woman, for a time_.

Emma pulled out a card. " **Looks like the feeling was mutual. "Thanks for being the family I never had. Love, Emma." I wrote that to her.** "

Killian nodded. " **Looks like you two were close once**."

They continued working through this new wrinkle in the problem that was the Snow Queen. Then Killian spotted some sort of scroll with…what looked like the hieroglyphs he'd seen in some books. Adding yet another wrinkle to the growing issue that was the Snow Queen.

"We need to get this all back to the station." Emma closed up the folder. "See if Elsa and Belle have found anything new…"

"Aye." Killian stood and helped her up. "I have to say I do love our treks in the forest."

"It's not that often!" Emma exclaimed, her tone affronted, but good-naturedly so.

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow at her. "Come now, Swan, we've been trekking through the woods since we met."

"A beanstalk is not technically a forest." She countered.

"But what did we have to walk through first?"

"Fine. But Neverland only counts as _one_ , because it's one big jungle."

"And how many days did we trek through there?"

"That doesn't seem to reflect well on our _guide_."

The teasing banter had broken the somewhat solemn and too close to home mood from earlier. Killian wasn't ready to deal with his own childhood hurts (even after nearly two centuries) and Emma was still processing how much of her life had been taken by the Snow Queen. A little bit of light flirting was exactly what they needed.

"Oi, it's hard to guide folks to a place that's always moving." Killian retorted. "Name me one trek we've had that doesn't involve woods. And don't say the snow monster, Swan, because we eventually ended up in the woods."

"Well this _is_ based off the Enchanted Forest, I assume, anyway. Keyword there: forest." Emma argued.

"Fair enough. One day, though, I'd rather like to trek somewhere with you that is not a forest. A boat, perhaps? Or a city?"

"Well, if we ever get the ice wall down, maybe we can make that happen."

"Good plan, love." Killian smiled as they reached the bug. He opened the door for her. "Milady."

Emma rolled her eyes but got in the car anyway. She checked her phone. "I bet they're not done yet. Granny's?"

"Is this a date, Swan?" Killian asked. "Because isn't it my turn?"

"No, it was your turn to ask me to go out again. We never specified who had to make the date."

He was leaning on the edge of the bug, grinning down at her. _This woman_ …he smiled. "Aye, but let's have a proper date tomorrow night, perhaps? We can order pizza and you can teach me about Netflix?"

"You don't have Netflix. But I'll get us a movie that I've been dying for you to see." Emma grinned. "But seriously, I'm starving."

"Then let's get you to Granny's for a grilled cheese." Killian smiled and walked over to the passenger side. "I'd like to learn about Netflix. I have heard this phrase 'Netflix and chill' which seemed to have a very…unusual connotation."

She blanched, and for a moment he wondered if he'd said something terribly wrong, and then she giggled. "Thanks, Killian. I needed that."

 _Laughing? What the hell? What is this bloody Netflix and Chill thing, then?_ Killian narrowed his eyes at her. "I do not understand the humor, Swan."

"I know. That's what makes it even funnier." She shook her head. "I promise I'll explain it. Just…not now."


	61. Chapter 61

AN: Don't sue me, I'm merely borrowing the characters. Bold = lines from the show, italics = thoughts (Killian's as this is a POV piece). This won't be as long as chapter 60, but I've decided since I can't post as often, I'll post longer chapters. Read, enjoy, maybe review or follow...

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains and Knaves**

Chapter 61

"Emma! I've found something." Elsa said, rushing in to the Sheriff's station a few hours later. "She's my aunt. The Snow Queen."

Emma was shocked. " **The Snow Queen is your aunt?** "

Killian listened to the explanation from his post, going through more city records.

" **According to this heraldry book I found in the library. Her name is Ingrid**." Elsa explained. " **I didn't even know my mother had any sisters. I'm as surprised as you are**."

 _We really shouldn't be surprised, considering how many people in this town are family_. " **Well, spend a little more time in this town, love, you'll realize just about everyone's related**." Killian quipped, walking over to take a look at the new discovery.

Emma shot him a look but it wasn't like she could really argue the point.

Elsa was still fascinated by the book. " **This book traces the lineage in Arendelle for generations. That's Gerda, my mother. And this is Helga, my other aunt**."

Idly, Killian looked at the text until something hit him: the picture, if he didn't know better he'd say that could be Emma. " **Bloody hell. Look at this one... She looks just like you. Maybe that's why she was so obsessed with you, why she kept all those relics from your childhood.** " _I'm really starting to hate this woman_ …

" **She came to this world looking for blondes?** " Emma asked. " **There's a lot more than just me.** "

Killian couldn't help it, " **Don't I know it**." He said, softening his teasing with an eyebrow wiggle.

Somehow, Elsa had grabbed the scroll and from the looks of it, she could read it. " **She wasn't looking for a blonde. She was looking for the savior**."

 _The Savior?_ Killian looked over to see how Emma was doing with this new information. _Today has been a day of revelations, to be sure._

Elsa had continued to read while he was lost in thought. " **And the savior shall become Ingrid's sister** "

" **What the hell does that mean?** " Emma asked.

" **Well, my mother died, and her other sister... She's not around anymore. I think Ingrid believes in this prophecy. I think she's looking to replace them.** " Elsa reasoned, and before they could discuss it further, Belle walked in.

Killian was half listening while Belle told her tale of knowing Anna and keeping it from Elsa. He was much, much more concerned with this new development of the Sow Queen's sisters. Before, the stolen memories were a curiosity, a nuisance, now they were vital.

" **But, uh, I'm afraid we have a more pressing concern**." Belle said, drawing his attention back. " **The Snow Queen has a mirror imbued with terrible magic that can do terrible things**."

" **Mirror? Easy enough, let's just go smash it**." Killian suggested, stating the obvious. _What damage could a mirror really do_?

Belle shook her head. " **It's not that simple.** "

 _When is it ever?_ Killian felt like rolling his eyes. _Only in Storybrooke_.

" **Rumple told me it's part of an awful spell... The spell of shattered sight. If she casts it, its magic will make everyone in Storybrooke turn on one another.** " Belle explained.

" **Bloody hell. The entire town will destroy itself.** " He was now very concerned. The number of grudges held onto in this town between two different curses and missing memories was a recipe for massive disaster. _What am I going to be like if that hits? Damn. This is very, very bad_.

Belle seemed to agree with his assessment. " **And there'd be no one left.** "

" **Except us**." Emma said, having worked out the plan.

" **What makes you think that she'd spare you and Elsa?** " Belle asked, having missed the conversation about Ingrid wanting new sisters.

" **Because of this.** " Emma showed the librarian the book.

" **She wants it to be just the three of us**." Elsa added.

" **Her perfect family.** " Emma said, and Killian felt a large amount of dread settling into his bones. _I've a feeling things are about to get much worse_.

The next day, Killian decided Robin and his myriad of relationship hardships had been neglected long enough, especially if his display at the ice cream truck yesterday was any indication of the thief's mental state. Emma was babysitting tonight, which meant that she could introduce him to Netflix after Neal went to bed. That had to be the strangest thing, babysitting your little brother who is almost 30 years younger than you, and you both live with the parents who you thought abandoned you…the whole family dynamic of Storybrooke made Killian's head hurt. Still, Robin was his friend, and friends required maintenance.

"You need a bloody cell phone, mate." Killian said, walking in to the camp.

"I don't like the blasted things." Robin shook his head. "Join us? We're just finishing lunch."

"Already ate, but thanks anyway mate." Killian shrugged, sitting down.

It was then that Robin noticed the hook. "It's back?"

"The hand was only temporary." Killian replied. He wasn't going to get into the whole Rumplestiltskin deal, he'd pushed that whole nightmare to the back of his mind. "Did you manage to talk to her Majesty yesterday?"

"Noticed that, eh?" Robin asked.

"Aye."

"Not at the truck. She said she was 'busy'. Though I rather liked her nickname for you. Regina's got a sharp sense of humor."

"That she does." _I've got to look up what 'Guyliner' is. Or ask Henry. If it's what I think it is, Robin is right and I will get her back for that one_.

Robin looked around, making sure no one else was about. "I've got to see her. I tried to yesterday, but she ran away from me. I know why the blasted kiss didn't work. I moved on from Marian, I don't love her anymore, not like I used to. It's only natural, to move on when someone dies."

"Aye."

"And Regina says I need to fall in love with my wife again…but I can't. She…she came back all…different."

"Different how?" Killian asked.

"Well…angrier. She hated learning new things about this world. She hated that Regina was allowed to walk around free. I guess it could have just been the shock of time traveling and everything…but I remember Marian being this fierce woman, with the spirit of a lion in the body and mannerisms of a doe. She wasn't like that here."

"Which is probably due to the whole traveling through time, thought you were dead thing." The pirate reasoned.

"But she acted just like I remembered around Roland. So I figured it had to be me. Because I didn't act like I used to around her."

"Mate, you moved on. It happens. But if Regina tells you the only way to save her is to fall back in love, you're going to have to try."

"I just…I need to see Regina. I need to talk to her…explain…I don't know. I just…Killian, I still have feelings for her. Strong ones." Robin buried his face in his hands. "I think I love her."

Killian didn't say a word, he just pulled out his flask and handed it to the other man.

"I went to see her last night."

"Not the best choice if you're trying to fall back in love with Marian."

"That's what she said too, before she ran out on me." Robin took another swig. "But I can't eat, I can't sleep…I don't know what to do. I loved Marian, I truly did, but then she died. And I grieved and I moved on."

"I understand." Killian took back the flask and took a swig. "I…my first love was murdered. And I thought I wasn't over her, for 200 years, and then Emma kissed me. And I realized I would always love Milah on some level, but I wasn't…I had moved on from being _in love_ with her. I had long before I realized it."

"And if Milah showed up today?"

 _I've asked myself the same question, and I know my answer is Emma without a doubt, but my answer doesn't help him…_ Killian mentally debated for a moment, weighing the consequences of being honest. "I'd like to say I'd go back to her to help you out…but I wouldn't. I'd stay with Emma."

The two men sat in silence for a bit, passing the flask back and forth.

"I can't drink any more of your rum, not without feeling like a charity case. Walk with me into town? I think I need a bar." Robin sighed.

"Aye. I've got to check on the Snow Queen situation." Killian stood. "Who's watching the little lad?"

"The men are." Robin nodded towards the camp. "Join me for a drink?"

"Maybe. If some crisis hasn't occurred by the time we make it back into town."


	62. Chapter 62

AN: Don't sue me, I'm merely borrowing the characters. Bold = lines from the show, italics = thoughts (Killian's as this is a POV piece). Still in the can't post as often, so I post longer chapters mode. Also I apologize for the weird formatting thing. Read, enjoy, maybe review or follow...

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains and Knaves**

Chapter 62

Killian and Robin made their way to Granny's and sat down to a lunch with a glass of whiskey each. _You can't drink as early as lunch-time without food, at least in this realm. It's frowned upon_.

"So…what's new with the Snow Queen?" Robin asked.

"Nothing at the moment." Killian sighed, _this isn't what we should be talking about. But what would distract him?_ "Did I ever tell you about my adventure in New York?"

"That's a city, right?" Robin shook his head. "No."

"Well, I've actually be twice. The first time I went to kill Rumplestiltskin. Long story. Not the point." Killian said, getting himself back on track. "It's a huge city. With buildings that touch the sky. But it's all laid out on this neat little grid and they have these…long cars that are attached that run underground and take you places. They call it the subway."

"Like the vehicles that drive around here?"

"Of a sort, but these hold…a dozen people at least per vehicle, and there are five or six vehicles attached together. I'm not entirely sure how they work, but they are a marvel. I went to track down Emma, which wasn't hard once I'd found a library. So I needed money, and I went to this thing, they call it a pawn shop, and you sell things there for the money of this realm."

"They don't accept coins?"

"Not like doubloons, no."

"I have seen some of the paper money. It's very strange."

"Agreed. So I sold a few of my doubloons, not many though because they gave me quite a bit of cash. And the man there, he says to me 'these are museum quality. have you thought of donating them?'."

"Coins? In a museum?" Robin looked incredulous. "What an odd idea."

"My thoughts exactly. And he saw my face and then he gave me the name of this thing called an auction house. Apparently you sell things there for large amounts of money and he said that some of my things would fetch a higher price there." Killian explained. "Here I was, a stranger in this realm, and what I used to pay for a night at the tavern was getting me enough money to stay at Granny's for a week, with food."

"There must be some sort of shortage of gold. That's why they use paper money." Robin reasoned.

"Aye."

"So…was the auction house worth it?"

Killian grinned. "Aye. Very much worth it."

He remembered the trip clearly, as it had been his first major attempt at conversing with someone from the land without magic who didn't know who he was.

 _"_ _Good morning, welcome to Thrasher, Roman and Peep Auctions and Antiques. Can I help you?" A pleasant young man welcomed him._

 _"_ _Ay…I mean, yes." Killian nodded, remembering just a bit late to keep as much of the pirate lingo out of his conversation as possible. "I've got a few…items I would like to sell."_

 _"_ _Have you ever sold with us before?" The young man asked._

 _"_ _No. I've never sold anything at auction before." Killian replied honestly, then added the phrase the pawn shop owner had told him to say. "Barry sent me."_

 _"_ _Oh, then, let me get Mr. Roman for you." The young man said and disappeared to a set of offices behind the counter._

 _Killian wandered the room, only now noticing it was full of an odd assortment of items, everything from jewelry to vases and paintings and, curiously, toys._

 _"_ _Hello, Mr…" An old man with a thick accent came out of the room and held out his hand._

 _"_ _Jones. Mr. Jones." Killian shook the man's hand._

 _"_ _Mr. Jones. Nice to meet you. I'm Sal Roman. Tommy here says you haven't ever sold anything before. He says Barry sent you."_

 _Killian reached into his pocket and pulled out the strand of pearls, diamond necklace, pendant, and emerald he'd carried on his person since giving up his ship. "He said you might be able to help me sell these?"_

 _"_ _Great Moses!" The old man gasped. "Where did you get these?"_

 _Killian had come up with a cover story for his loot, one he hoped was believable without much additional information. "I was walking in the woods in Maine, when I tripped over the handle of a lockbox buried in the ground, these were tucked in the lockbox." He explained. It wasn't exactly a lie, he'd attacked the shipment of precious gems from King Midas and gotten them that way. "Imagine my surprise when that was what was inside."_

 _"_ _Do you know the exact location? And did you turn it in to the police?"_

 _"_ _Storybrooke. It's a little town near Portland." Killian explained, glad he'd taken a moment to ask the librarian to look up information about the laws regarding found treasure. "I did. No one claimed it."_

 _"_ _Do you have documents of this?"_

 _"_ _What kind of documents do I need?" Killian furrowed his brow and tried to sound innocent and confused. "I turned it in to the sheriff, and no one claimed it, then it was mine. I didn't know I needed any documents."_

 _"_ _I mean…it helps. If you decide to sell this…and there was no one?"_

 _"_ _No." He shrugged. "They told me I could do with them what I please, but there's not much…market for this kind of thing in small town Maine."_

 _"_ _Indeed." Sal Roman pursed his lips. "Okay friend of Barry's. I'm gonna help you out, but you can't ask questions. And I get 40%. Deal?."_

 _"_ _20." Killian answered automatically. This man reminded him of the hundreds of shady black market dealers he'd dealt with in the enchanted forest._

 _"_ _30 and we do this all cash."_

 _"_ _Deal." Killian nodded. "How much could I get for these?"_

 _"_ _Well, my boy, you found yourself quite the little treasure. Was there anything else in the box?"_

 _"_ _Nothing."_

 _"_ _Huh. Let's get these appraised, we will set up an auction, and set up how to get you paid. Are you staying in the city?"_

 _"_ _Only for a few more days, I hope. I've one thing to take care of and then I'm returning home. I was hoping this would be quick, I don't really want anyone to know about it."_

 _"_ _Divorce, huh? Don't want the ex-wife to get her hands on the money?" Sal asked._

 _Ex-wife? Killian thought, recognizing the voice of someone who was making a connection (even if it was incorrect). "Yeah. She didn't find this, she doesn't deserve a share." He hoped this was what Sal needed to hear._

 _Sal nodded understandingly, "Okay then. Tommy, come here."_

"So I got myself all set up to deal all in cash - I told them I didn't want to let my ex-wife know about this. Apparently that resonated with Sal because he bent over backwards to help me after that."

"Ex-wife?" Robin asked, confused. "Cash?"

"Apparently, when you marry someone and then you decide you don't want to be married anymore you can just…split up. But the wife gets half the assets. I don't know much, I heard a man talking to another on the subway about it."

"Ex-wife. Fascinating."

"And cash is what the people of this realm call their paper money."

Robin nodded. "So…what happened?"

"Sal sold the emerald and the pearls to a 'connection' of his who worked in the jewelry business. I made about the equivalent of the yearly wage of someone who maybe works in the diner or bartending at the Rabbit Hole." Killian explained. "Not bad for a necklace and a stone."

"What about the diamond necklace? And the pendant?"

"That. That lovely little thing netted me…well…enough to buy a house, if I so desired."

"But…doesn't this realm require identification and such?"

"It does. Apparently, Sal knows some buyers who are…not concerned about where things come from." Killian shrugged. "Barry - who bought the coins from me in the first place is someone they call a money launderer."

"A money launderer?" Robin looked confused. "As in…wash money?"

"I don't actually know how it all works, but I believe it is a figurative washing of the money, so that no one knows the method of obtaining it was…less than legal." Killian said. "So Sal told me that Barry was going to create a company for me, we named it Hook LLC. Don't ask what the LLC means…I've researched it and I still haven't a clue. Basically, I send boxes to Sal, he returns them to me filled with cash. I guess to anyone looking at it, we appear to be conducting a business of some sort. Sal gets his cut, I get mine. I even set up an account at the bank. Here in Storybrooke, of course."

"This ice wall isn't helping, is it?" Robin asked.

"I won't know until next week." Killian shrugged. "Apparently, the things that were shipped here just…magically appear in the post office. Like…they get close enough to town and are automatically taken there. Must be part of the spell hiding the town from outsiders." Killian was about to mention how thorough Regina's curses appeared to be, but thought better of it, since his morning with the auctioneer had so successfully diverted his friend's attention.

And then his phone beeped. It was a message from Emma to get to the station, they had a way to capture the Snow Queen and there was an ice trail.

"I've got to go, mate." Killian threw a few bills on the table. "Have another drink, on me."

"Now that I know you're rich, I don't mind if I do." Robin said, smiling.


	63. Chapter 63

AN: Sorry for all the delays. If you want to know why, ask an elementary teacher about the first month of school. Usual things apply, I'm not going to repeat them. If you've made it to 63, you know.

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains and Knaves**

Chapter 63

Killian made it to the clock tower just as Emma, Elsa, and David were heading in.

"Good, you made it. Come on." Emma said.

Killian fell in behind the two blondes, looking at David for an explanation.

"Apparently the candle can neutralize the Snow Queen's power. She might still be in here." David said as they walked. "Why do you smell like fries and whiskey?"

"Lunch with Robin. He's having a hard time with this whole frozen Marian, Regina issue." Killian explained.

"That explains it, then." David nodded.

Sure enough, the Snow Queen was there looking at a large mirror. And almost too easily, Emma had her shackled and was leading her out the door to the station.

"Try and figure out how to undo that." Emma motioned to the mirror as she and Elsa made their way out of the clock tower.

Something was bothering Killian about this whole thing. They were missing something. Something important.

"Does this seem…off to you?"

"Easy, yes. But Emma couldn't get the candle to work earlier so it's good that it did go so well." David looked behind the mirror carefully. "Why?"

"She's been one step ahead of us the whole time and suddenly she's caught?"

David considered it for a moment. "Well…when you put it that way. But probably she figures once her curse hit she'll be able to escape without a problem."

"Aye." Killian nodded, deciding that the bad feeling was just that the Snow Queen constantly had them off-balance. "So…this is what is going to curse the whole town?"

"Apparently. Who knows. I mean, Regina did trap a genie in her mirror. So…I guess they can be pretty powerful."

"Let's check outside…see if there's something magical holding it to the wall." David sighed.

A few minutes later, they returned to study the mirror, Elsa joining them, clearly upset.

"You all right, lass?" Killian asked as they made their way up the stairs.

"Just…I just want answers." Elsa sighed, calming down.

"Maybe you can tell us more about the mirror, then." Killian regarded the supposedly magical object again. Something was still bothering him. "Are we sure… **this is what we've been worried about? Shouldn't it be shaking or doing something evil?** "

 _"_ **Agreed**." Elsa nodded. " **It feels like just a harmless looking glass to me.** "

 _"_ **I've found nothing to counteract the spell yet**." Belle said, announcing her presence as she joined them, suddenly she stopped. " **Hey, stop! Do not look in that thing. It'll make you see the worst in yourself.** "

 _The worst? Clearly we have something wrong…_ " **It must be broken. I've been staring at it all day, and I think I'm even more devilishly handsome and charming than usual**." Killian said. _The light does really help_.

Belle approached the mirror with confusion. " **Uh... Th-this isn't the same mirror.** " She said.

" **Why would the Snow Queen risk coming all the way out here to plant a fake mirror?** " Elsa asked.

 _Gods. Emma._ Killian looked at David, knowing he'd come to the same conclusion.

" **Because she wanted to get caught**." David said and he and Killian raced out of the tower and towards the police station.

 _If that monster has hurt Emma…_ Killian thought, slowing up as they reached the station to see it iced over. "Bloody hell!"

 _"_ Damn it, there's no other way in. Elsa…can you unfreeze this?" David asked.

"No. I can't undo her magic." Elsa shook her head.

"Rumple can help. Let's go." Belle said.

 _Why must we always go traipsing to the bloody Dark One?_ Killian thought as they made their way to the pawn shop. _At least with Belle here, he'll probably do it._

Predictably enough, the Dark One agreed. Killian studied the other man for a moment after the others left.

" **All right, Crocodile, what's your game?** " He asked. " **The last two villains who came to town tried to kill you, but you seem rather unconcerned about this one. Makes a man wonder if you two have a history**." _How is it that I'm the only one to pick up on this_?

" **You can wonder all you like, dearie**." Gold replied, falling more into his Dark One persona. " **My history, my business**."

David poked his head back in. "You two coming or what?"

Killian nodded and they made their way to the Sheriff's station. As they neared the building, there was a tremendous roar, like an explosion. The entire group broke into a run and found Emma standing by a destroyed wall of the station.

 _Something isn't right here._ " **Swan, what did that monster do to the Sheriff's Station?** " Killian asked and the look on her face instantly made him regret the use of the word "monster".

" **The 'monster' who did this was not the Snow Queen. It was me**." Emma said, looking at her hands as if they were about to explode.

 _Something has happened to her magic. If that bloody woman did anything to hurt her…_ Killian made his way closer to Emma, who clearly needed someone to help her calm down.

" **Just keep your distance**." Emma held out her hands. " **I don't know if I can control myself. I don't want to hurt anyone**."

She turned to run and Killian ran after her. " **Swan**." The Dark One said something, but Killian never listened to him anyway.

He grabbed her arm to stop her and Emma fought her way out of his grasp. " **Just stay away! Let me go**!" She waved her hands and a bunch of electricity sparked.

Killian ducked from the sparks but then turned his eyes back to Emma. _I am not leaving you, Swan. And I refuse to be afraid of you or your magic_. He didn't notice the light pole falling until David shoved him out of the way. Killian leaned against the wall, allowing his heart rate to return to normal when he realized David had been hit. Emma walked closer to her father, clearly concerned.

Snow turned to her daughter and said " **Emma!** " As if she we admonishing a very naughty child.

 _Bloody idiot! She's feeling guilty enough, don't add to it!_ Killian thought as Snow realized her mistake. He could tell by the set of her shoulders she was preparing to run, but he called her name and grabbed for her arm anyway.

As he watched the yellow bug speed away, Killian knew they were in for a long night. Turning back to the group he knew his choice of letting Emma cool down because she didn't want to be found was going to get out-voted. Snow and David had the concerned parent looks on their faces and Elsa was pale. Paler than usual anyway.

"We might as well let her cool off." Killian said, hoping for _someone_ to be reasonable.

"We can't. She can't be by herself like this too long." Elsa shook her head. "Trust me. What's in the direction she drove off in?"

 _Emma is no amateur. That's not going to be very helpful. But what would the Queen of Arendale actually know about that? Elsa is a very willing, if inept, adventurer_. Killian thought as he listened to David and Snow make a plan.

He heard his assignment and forced himself not to roll his eyes. _The bloody forest. Of course_.

"I'll send a message to Little John to keep an eye out. And Regina." David said, typing on his phone.

Several hours later, they regrouped to compare findings. Little John and the men were on the look-out but no one had seen Robin since he'd gone to lunch with Killian, as he was their best tracker, they weren't much help. And Regina had never responded to David's or Snow's or even Henry's text and calls.

 _I know what that means_. Killian sighed. _I do hope Robin knows what he's doing. One problem at a time, though._

 _"_ **You'd think a big yellow driving machine would be easier to find.** " Elsa sounded dejected.

Killian felt exasperated with the whole group. Either they just didn't understand when Emma was serious about wanting space or they were deliberately ignoring her request. " **Perhaps she doesn't want to be found, since, you know, that's what she bloody told us**."

David sighed, ignoring him. " **Well, the good news is thanks to the ice wall, Emma can't leave town**."

Elsa still seemed extremely worried. " **The longer she isolates herself, the worse it'll get**." She explained. " **Her magic will just keep spiraling**."

 _What do you mean it will keep spiraling?_ Killian thought, finally realizing maybe giving Emma space like she asked _wasn't_ the right choice.

And then Henry came in. _When will someone make sure the lad follows directions?_ Killian quickly hid a smirk. _Henry'd make a fine pirate_.

" **I snuck out, okay?** " Henry said defiantly. " **I'm sorry, but I found her.** "

 _What?_ Killian focused his entire attention on Henry as Mary Margaret and David fired questions at him in a panic.

Henry explained, " **She's out in the woods. I thought I could help calm her down, but when I showed up, it just made things worse**." He touched the back of his head and revealed that he was bleeding.

" **This is bad news. If anyone can calm her down, it's Henry**." David sighed.

" **When your powers are out of control, everything's upside down**." Elsa explained. " **You don't want to be anywhere near the people you care about**."

 _Bloody hell! What are we to do, then?_ Killian couldn't help but sound frustrated when he said, " **Wonderful. Well, shall we send Sneezy after her, then? Or Happy? Which is the dwarf she despises?** "

Elsa tried to be both comforting and explain further. " **I was so scared that I would hurt Anna until I finally realized you can't run away from the people who love you because, in the end, they're the only ones who can help you.** "

"Bloody hell." Killian leaned against the counter. "If there's one thing Emma excels at it's running away."

Snow called down from upstairs and asked Elsa to come up and make some ice for Henry. Killian couldn't help but let out a little laugh at that.

"What is it?" David asked, getting them all glasses of water.

Killian shook his head. "When we went on our date…Emma asked me if I wanted to come in for coffee with…how did she put it…'an infant, my parents, and a human ice maker'."

David chuckled a little. "An accurate description."

"Aye, I thought so." Killian nodded.

Snow joined them and grabbed a glass.

"How's the lad?" Killian asked.

"I cleaned him up, Elsa's giving him ice." She explained and noticed Elsa coming back down the stairs. " **How is he?** "

" **I gave him enough ice for the week. It should help with the swelling.** " Elsa said, seemingly happy to be helpful.

" **No. How is he?** " Mary Margaret clarified.

" **Upset**." Elsa answered. " **I just wanted him to understand Emma's magic is tied to her emotions, like mine. The reason she hurt him is because she was trying so hard not to hurt him. It sounds very convoluted when I try to explain it now**."

 _No it doesn't, lass. It sounds very reasonable. The harder you try to be silent the more noise you make. It's a natural thin_ g. Killian thought.

Then Regina came bursting through the door, blouse askew. _I was right. I must get in touch with Robin later. Glad to see she will respond when Henry's in peril_.

Snow immediately began questioning Regina about her earlier absence. _You probably don't want to know what she's doing, your Highness_. And Regina replied in a snarky manner, which immediately went away once Snow pointed out the blouse issue, and then she went upstairs to check on Henry. But Regina brought more than just confirmation of his earlier hypothesis, she brought a locator potion. _Now we're getting somewhere_.

And then Mary Margaret's bloody mobile rang. " **It's her!** "

 _Emma_.

Killian couldn't hear Emma's side of the conversation but he could tell she was worried about Henry. And then she said something that Mary Margaret didn't like and hung up.

" **What did she say?** "

" **She said she's going to get rid of her magic... Forever.** " Mary Margaret sounded confused.

" **How is that even possible?** " Elsa asked.

Mary Margaret didn't know how to explain it. " **She said it will all be over soon, and she can't wait to be home for a cocoa with cinnamon**."

 _She wouldn't…_ " **Did she say anything about the method? If it was a spell or... A magic object of some kind?** " Killian asked, trying not to sound too worried.

 _No, no, no, no, no. She did. Bloody hell, Swan, when will you learn to never trust the Crocodile?_ Killian felt his panic rise and controlled it enough to answer David and make his excuses to leave. " **No, you're absolutely right. I wonder if she tried to call me. Bloody hell. I left my talking phone in the back of your truck**."

" **It's just called a phone**." David said.

 _I don't care what it's bloody called! Stay calm and get out. Then go stop Emma_. " **What an impractical name. I'll be back in two shakes.** " _Gods, I hope that sounded like me. I'll explain all to Emma, I'm not ready to fess up to Dave just yet_.


	64. Chapter 64

AN: Usual things apply, I'm not going to repeat them. If you've made it here, you know.

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains and Knaves**

Chapter 64

The minute he was in the hallway, Killian whipped out his phone and called Emma. " **Emma, it's Killian. Call me right away, or you may never make it home for cinnamon and cocoa... Ever**." He hung up the call. " **Damn it, Swan. Don't tell me you trusted The Crocodile**."

Killian ran all the way to the pawn shop. This was, quite possibly, the worst thing that could possibly happen because of his bad decision. _Why didn't I tell her? Why? Why? Bloody stupid bastard._

" **Crocodile!** " Killian bellowed, bursting into the shop. " **Where are you?** "

He walked over and noticed a handprint burnt into the table and he knew. " **Emma. No. No, no, no.** " Killian ripped out his phone. He didn't care if she hated him, she just had to survive. " **Swan, it's Killian again. You have to listen to me. I know that you've been to see Gold. I saw what you did. And if he's promised to get rid of your powers, don't listen to him. He doesn't want to help you. He wants... He wants to collect your powers in a bloody magic hat. And when he does, you'll be sucked in, too. I... I don't know what he's planning, but I know that he's been lying to Belle. The dagger he gave her is a fake. I only know all this because…** " He took a deep breath. _Just do it, you should have done this earlier, then we wouldn't be in this situation._ **"Because I'm afraid I've been lying to you, too.** " Killian knew that part was going to hurt her the most. " **Gold blackmailed me into helping him. He knew. He knew I'd do whatever it takes to be with you, and he used it against me. I just wanted to be a better man for you, Swan. But I failed. And now because of it, I might lose you."** _I don't know if there are gods or a God up there, but please, please, please let her get this_. **"I'm sorry. But I hope you never forgive me because that means that you'll get this in time to save yourself. Goodbye**."

 _If anything happens to her…_ Killian lost his train of thought as he noticed a map on the counter with an area circle. Studying it for a second he realized that was the same location he'd followed a broomstick to earlier. _I'm coming, Emma, and I'm going to do everything I bloody well can to keep you out of that damn hat_.

Again he ran almost the whole way, arriving at the mansion by the time night had fallen. " **Swan!** " He yelled, praying she'd heard him.

" **Watch your step, captain. The terrain's a little rough around here**." A voice said.

Killian thought of every curse he knew. _Why is it always the bloody Dark One?_ " **Get out of my way, Crocodile. I'll die fighting before I let you use that bloody hat on Emma.** " He said, no longer caring for himself. Killian only had one thought: _save Emma_.

Suddenly a green tube grew up from the ground and wrapped around Killian, trapping him in place. _No!_ Killian struggled against the bindings.

" **Death can wait.** " Rumplestiltskin said. " **How about before you depart, I'll treat you to a front-row seat and we can watch her use that hat on herself?** "

" **No.** " Killian was furious, with himself, with the Crocodile, with the bonds, with everything. _I'll never be able to live with myself if anything happens to her. Please, Emma, check your damn phone_.

" **Oh, and, uh... In case you were counting on Emma getting your message…** " The Dark One waved his hand by her phone. " **Don't.** "

" **No!** " Killian struggled with more fervor than before. Emma was walking into a trap, a trap he helped set. He felt like his heart was being torn in two, this was just like Milah all over again, but this time so much worse because Emma had _changed_ him, she'd made him a better man. A good man. _I will not let this happen. There has got to be a way. I will not give up on her,_ Killian thought frantically.

"I **'m not one for loose ends. Don't worry. You'll get over her... Just like you got over Milah. How many centuries did that take? Oh, it matters not. This might even add a little fuel to your fire. Don't tell me you haven't missed the taste of vengeance**."

 _Milah? Really? There's got to be some…what would possibly get to the blasted imp?_ " **She's mother to your grandson, Gold! Don't do this**." _Henry seems to have a good effect on everyone, please, please stop this_.

" **I wish I didn't have to**." Gold said and Killian didn't believe him. " **But I need Miss Swan. Surely you understand that**."

 _Understand? Understand? How could anyone understand what the Dark One was doing? Was I ever really this bad?_ Killian thought. _No, not time for introspection. Think of something to say to get out of this or get Emma out safely. Think_.

Gold turned to the house to watch and Killian couldn't help but watch as well, praying to every god he'd ever heard of that Emma would somehow survive this. Then, like someone was granting his wish, the light went off without changing which meant that Emma hadn't gone in the hat. The relief was palpable. And so was the triumph at seeing Emma thwart the Dark One.

" **No.** " The Dark One said.

" **Well, I'm guessing she didn't go through with it. So sorry. Oh, but I do love the look of loss on your face.** " He taunted. _Just because I've turned over a new leaf doesn't mean that I'm not still going to enjoy any time Rumplestiltskin loses_.

" **I may not have the savior, pirate. But I assure you, today won't be a complete loss.** " Gold said and Killian felt the relief leave him. " **I need to fill that hat with power, yes, but that was only part of the equation. Because I need something else, a secret ingredient, one I didn't know about... Until an associate clued me in. A heart.** "

 _A heart? What is the bloody imp playing at?_ " **Well, if you need my help procuring it, know the only help I give you is with your demise**."

" **Oh, you're gonna help me, all right**." Gold said and it was beginning to sound threatening. " **You see, this spell is gonna finally separate me from the dagger so it no longer holds power over me. But to cast it... I need the heart of someone special, someone who knew me before the dagger… Before I was the Dark One. Unfortunately, everyone who fits that description is already dead, but one still lives.** "

Killian began struggling again. " **No. No!** " _I'll not be an instrument to help you be more of a danger to those I care about!_

Rumplestiltskin smiled a smile that was practically feral. " **Yes. As luck would have it, dearie, you're my oldest friend**."

Then Gold reached into Killian's chest for his heart.


	65. Chapter 65

AN: Usual things apply, I'm not going to repeat them. If you've made it here, you know.

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains and Knaves**

Chapter 65

Killian was in _agony_. He'd had a hand in his chest before, but the Dark One grabbed his heart with such joyful malice and callous disregard, the pain was incredible. And then was over. And the numbness crept in. That was almost worse than the pain. At least with the pain he felt something. Now he felt nothing. Killian knew he should be furious, terrified, and full of despair. But he wasn't. He felt nothing. He knew rather than felt relief that there was one good part of this whole situation: it would be over quick and Emma wouldn't have to see it.

" **Get on with it, then. Just do it**." Killian felt a twinge of pain as Gold squeezed, just a little.

" **Oh, no. I promised you we'd have some fun first. You're gonna do everything I say because you're my puppet now. You're gonna find another way to fill that hat with the power it needs. And then? Then I'll kill you**."

 _No._ Killian thought. _Emma…he could make me hurt her._ He began to think - he couldn't call it panicking, because he couldn't _feel_ , but that's what was happening. He felt more than really heard the Dark One order him to retrieve the hat and pretend like nothing had happened.

As Killian made his way into the house, he had a fierce thought which quelled all his previous thoughts of despair: _I will not hurt Emma_. It wasn't anything he felt, it was just one true thought, but one that burned like a fire inside him.

Killian _knew_ he was happy to see her, even if he couldn't feel it, but he stared at Emma, waiting to feel the little flip of his heart and rush of feelings that usually came from seeing her, but nothing came. So Killian kissed her, hoping to feel _something._ It was physically pleasurable, but lacked the fire, the spark he always felt around her. _What have I done?_ Killian thought as Emma and Elsa made their way outside to celebrate with her family. _The Dark One is going to kill me and I bloody well deserve it._ He snuck the hat out the back door to a waiting Gold, but couldn't bring himself to join the others. _I don't deserve it._

"Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself?" Neal the-not-a-hallucination asked, appearing in the foyer of the mansion.

"I can't feel anything." Killian snapped. _Useless bloody hallucination. Apparition. Whatever the hell you are._

"Actually, you can." Neal shrugged. "But you aren't listening to your soul. Just a week ago you promised Emma that she wasn't going to lose you too."

"Maybe it's for the best. Then she can find someone who has a shot at deserving her." Killian sighed. "Not a damn fool who can't control his temper. Not a…villain."

Neal shrugged again, it seemed like the apparition was exasperated with his charge. "Have it your way. But try not to give up hope, Killian. And don't do it for you, since I apparently can't convince you you're worth something, do it for her. If you die, Emma will cut herself off from love. For good. Is that what you want?"

"Of course not." The fierce thought to protect Emma was there again, ready to do whatever it took to keep her safe. "I will not hurt her."

"Then don't. Have a little faith that things will work out like they should."

"How are you so bloody positive?"

"Dead, remember? What more can possibly happen to me?" Neal shrugged again. "Believe it or not, Killian, everything happens for a reason."

"Yes, they have a word for it in this realm." Killian sighed. "Karma."

Neal nodded. "You're not wrong. This is the consequence to your choices. But it doesn't mean that this has to end badly. Have some hope, Killian."

"I'm getting a hope speech from a bloody ghost…" Killian muttered to himself incredulously, and when he looked up, Neal had vanished.

The next day, reports of the curse clouds came rolling in very early. Killian didn't even have time to pick up his traditional coffee and donut before the whole Charming family and Regina and Elsa and himself had gathered at the clock tower to check things out, along with Leroy who had, predictably so, sounded the alarm. _We really need a name for this little team of ours_. Killian thought as they took turns with the binoculars. _And Leroy really needs to stop being the town alarm_.

" **Belle was right.** " Elsa sighed. " **My aunt it actually doing this**."

" **The spell of shattered sight**." Snow said, concerned.

David offered the first suggestion that popped into his head, " **We open the mines and the vault. We take shelter there**."

The early hour made Regina doubly snarky. " **This is magic. It doesn't care about ceilings. It's started**."

" **How long?** " Killian asked, _If we can't stop it, maybe we can prepare for it_.

" **By sundown**." Regina sighed. " **By sundown, everyone in this town will start... Tearing each other apart**."

 _If I don't have my heart…will I be affected? If I am, I best be chained up somewhere very secure_. He repressed a shudder.

" **Okay. The answer is simple**." Emma reasoned. " **Let's not be in town**."

 _I love the optimism, Swan, but the ice wall is in your way and somehow I think if the purpose of the wall is to keep us all in for this curse, you're not going to get around it that easily._ Killian thought, but dutifully followed the heroes to the wall.

Sure enough, because they couldn't catch a break, Emma's idea didn't work. So she set about handing out tasks. Regina (rather predictably based on Killian's conjectures) volunteered to warn Robin. Killian's job was to check the waterfront. _I already know the bloody answer. A sailor knows when the sea's not open to him_. _Of course, it would all be much better if the bloody Dark One wasn't sitting on a bench next to me._ _I'm not sure what nefarious orders you'll give me, but I will not hurt the people I care about. Which is more than just Emma, surprisingly_.

" **No fleeing by boat then** " Killian sighed, unsurprised,

" **This Snow Queen is good, isn't she?** " Gold asked with unabashed admiration. " **Sit, lad. Don't forget where your heart lies**." He patted the satchel where Killian knew his heart was. " **Now I have a job for you. You remember how this works.** "

 _Let me guess, since you're completely unoriginal._ " **The hat? Not Emma.** " That is _not happening Crocodile, ever_.

Rumplestiltskin shook his head. " **No, no. Not this time. I have a better plan. Granny's Diner is being converted into a temporary hive for the vilest of creatures, the pious little fleas.** "

" **Pious?** " Killian asked, then he figured it out. " **The fairies?** "

" **Just like any flying pests, if you wanna eliminate the infestation, it's important to get them all.** " The Dark One explained. " **Doing so will infuse this hat with enough power to allow me to cleave myself from the dagger and then leave this town with my powers intact, a suddenly urgent undertaking. Now will you assist me?** "

 _You are damn lucky I can't feel anything strongly, Crocodile. Will you bloody assist me? It's bad enough you're going to kill me to further your own fiendish plans, at least pay me the respect of not playing games with me_. " **You have my heart. You know I can't refuse**." Killian pointed out tersely. _Odd, negative emotions come more naturally than the others_.

Rumplestiltskin went on to explain that his wife was with the fairies, so in oder to preserve her blissful innocence, he was going to need to extract her without raising suspicion before Killian went in and…did whatever it was the hat did to magical creatures. _But wait…if he does that…_ " **The fairies are working to stop the spell. You're killing the cure? You do this, you condemn the entire town, and even your own grandson, to whatever happens.** " _Gods, to not even care about Henry_?

But no, Rumplestiltskin was going to take _his_ wife and _his_ grandson and get out of town. _Because that's what villains are at their core,_ Killian realized, _we're - they're - selfish_. And he couldn't even deny it. In his days as Hook, Killian knew he had made many, many decisions based on what furthered _his_ revenge without a thought to how it affected everyone else. Since his body was doing what Gold said without thought, Killian continued to ponder this. _That was the difference. When I made the decision to help the heroes, then come back and save Bae's son…_ saving Aurora's heart had been the first action, because somehow he knew…if he'd lost that, Emma would have never forgiven him for taking it in the first place.

 _I'm still making selfish decisions. It's what landed me in this predicament. Does that mean I'm still a villain? Or does it take time to learn how to not be a villain, to think of others before yourself?_ Killian thought on this as he entered the back of the diner. _I don't want to do this, and I will fight it, but I'll likely lose. Is it then our motivations or choices that determine what side we're on? I'm about to suck a dozen fairies into this bloody hat and I've the gall to wonder what side I'm on?_ He shook his head. "I'm a villain."


	66. Chapter 66

AN: Usual things apply, I'm not going to repeat them. If you've made it here, you know.

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains and Knaves**

Chapter 66

He waited until Rumplestiltskin had Belle out of the way and started mindlessly sucking the fairies into the hat, lightening flashing as he did so. _Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry._ Killian said over and over again in his head. But he knew he wasn't done. There was one more fairy. He walked over to where she crouched, trembling, behind the counter. Her face was one of sheer terror. Killian didn't _feel_ much, but he _knew_ he didn't want to do this and he _knew_ it was wrong and horrible.

" **I'm sorry. I truly am.** " Killian said, before pulling Mother Superior into the hat.

As he arrived at Gold's shop, the Dark One had just finished putting a spell of some sort on the building.

" **Is it done?** " Rumplestiltskin asked.

 _I've gotten to know Belle, and I don't think she'd want you to do this. And she will find out. The truth, I've found, always comes out. Then you will lose her_. " **You know, she truly loves you. You could have her forever, or all the power in the world. It's your choice**." Killian said.

" **I don't need to choose, thank you. I can and will have both**." The Dark One said evenly.

 _Bloody, selfish bastard_. Hook narrowed his eyes. " **Now that it's settled, are we done**?"

" **No, no. I'm not gonna give up control of you just yet** ," Rumplestiltskin replied. " **Not until I have everything I need**."

" **What's left?** " Killian asked, wondering what other depraved things The Dark One could possibly think of for him to do.

" **That's my concern, not yours. But by morning, all should be complete, including your life. Now run along, dearie, and enjoy your last day in this or any land**."

Killian walked mindlessly to the Sheriff's station, where he knew Emma would be. After surviving for so long, he just couldn't believe it was all about to be over.

"You can't have even a little faith?" A voice asked, falling in to step beside him.

He didn't even have to look. "Bae, when I die, will I be rid of you?"

"Only if you have unfinished business. And I don't think you do. Not really. Not if Emma is safe." The apparition shrugged. "So…no."

Killian sighed. "I've only a few hours left, no offense to you, but you're not the one I want to spend them with."

Neal furrowed his brow, "At least you'll get to say goodbye to her. Most people don't get that, you know. It's…it makes it easier. Are you going to tell her?"

"That the Dark One is going to murder me? No. I can't."

"Just…do me a favor and don't completely give up hope." Baelfire said before disappearing.

Killian walked into the station to see Emma crying and holding her baby brother. He couldn't feel it, but he knew he didn't ever want to see Emma crying like that.

" **Swan? A word**." He asked from the doorway.

Emma handed her brother off and walked over to him. " **What are you doing here? You know what's about to happen**."

 _Even if I did have my heart, love, and wasn't about to die, I'd be over here to say goodbye to you_. " **Aye. I know**." Killian said softly. " **I just needed to see you**. **Before I chained myself to the dock for the protection of all, I... Needed to see you one more time**."

 _You can't know this, my darling, beautiful, Emma, but this goodbye is a final one. And I am sorry, Swan. I truly am. I do not want to leave you_. Killian thought. He felt pain knowing that this was it, that he and Emma would never be able to see what the future could have held for them…She was blinking back tears and it was killing him to know how she would feel.

" **Killian, I'm not... A tearful goodbye kiss person. But maybe just this once.** "

She said and pulled him towards her for a long, sad kiss.

Killian hugged her close, trying to memorize every smell and feel he associated with her. He would hold on to that until the end, heart or not. " **Goodbye.** " Killian whispered softly and left. He had to go, he couldn't bear to leave her and the longer he stayed, holding her, the harder it would be to leave. And to make matters worse, the minute he left the station, Killian could feel the Dark One calling him. _Damn bloody imp_.

Again, as he walked, ignoring the town going completely mad all around him, Killian thought back to his earlier musings. _I guess at the end of my life I've finally gained some perspective_. _I am not a villain. I was a villain. There is a difference_. _Maybe this is my consequence for two centuries of not being a good man - dying at the hands of my worst enemy. But my life will have meaning if my actions in any small way manage to keep Henry and Emma safe. And hopefully David. And Robin. And Snow. And even Regina._ That thought was oddly comforting to Killian. It made everything so much easier to deal with, and even though he knew he was coming to the end of his very long life, it was good to know that, in the end, his life had _meant_ something. What he'd realized on the way to Neverland two years ago finally made sense: villains don't get happy endings. He had been wasting his life. And Killian knew, despite all the ups and downs and curses and monsters of the past three years, he wouldn't trade one _minute_ of them for another three hundred upon this earth if it meant he had to stay Captain Hook, just as he was in the days before Emma.

Killian felt the tugging sensation that he now knew was when Rumplestiltskin's commands weren't being followed. _I'm coming, be patient you rotten bastard_.

" **Where's the missus? She turned homicidal on you yet?** " Killian asked, the more he was under the control of the Dark One the less he cared about what he said and how he said it.

"None of your business. What kept you?" Gold demanded.

Killian rolled his eyes. " **Well, it's like swimming with sharks out there. The minute one of them tastes blood, they'll tear each other apart**."

Gold shook his head. " **Well, count your blessings you're not one of them.** "

 _Yes, why is that?_ Killian wondered, and asked, " **Why was I spared the cloud's curse?** "

Gold seemed to find the question amusing. " **Because your heart wasn't in your chest, dearie. It was here in my shop with me. In protective custody, so to speak.** "

" **What is it you need, Crocodile?** " Killian asked, irritated.

Rumplestiltskin launched into his plan to leave and separate himself from the dagger. Which meant that the Dark One had a way out. A way out that the people of the town needed. _Emma_ needed. " **Are you saying there's a bloody way out of here?** "

" **Dark One always finds a way.** "

" **Well, if the Dark One is so powerful, why doesn't he magic his grandson to his side?** " Killian asked, tauntingly.

" **Because that would require me knowing where his mothers have locked him away for safekeeping. Now unless you really, really have no need for that tongue, I suggest you slither back outside into the hostile current and find Henry**." Gold tossed him a vial. " **You'll be needing this.** "

Killian studied the vial. " **You won't win. Villains never do**." _Regina and I have both come to this conclusion, you need to as well, Dark One. Before you destroy us all._

" **Don't be ridiculous, dearie. When Belle and Henry wake up tomorrow morning in New York City, they won't remember a thing about tonight. I'll tell then the Snow Queen destroyed Storybrooke, whilst I saved everyone I could. I won't be a villain. I'll be a hero**."

Killian turned and left - the delusion of grandeur the Dark One seemed to be having was both terrifying and laughable. Sighing, Killian focused on his task, trying to ignore the chaos around him.

 _Okay, find Henry. If he's not at the station, they'd have put him somewhere he wouldn't get out of. Regina's office_. He headed for city hall and Regina's austere office and was not surprised to find the door locked and quite probably enchanted as well. He wiggled the door knob, perhaps Henry would let him in.

" **Henry. I know you're in there, mate. I need you to come with me now**." Killian said to the door, knowing his voice would carry.

" **There's no way I'm going anywhere with a dirty pirate**." Henry's reply sounded petulant.

 _Oi, watch it, lad. I've always valued hygiene and this land's showers are the most useful contraption ever invented._ He shook his head, knowing this was the spell. " **Dirty? I bathe quite frequently, thank you very much**."

" **I never liked you, and I like you even less now that you and my mom are together**." Henry practically spat out the last word.

 _Together?_ Killian's eyebrows shot up. Curse or no curse, this was definitely a welcome development. " **Emma used that word? "Together"?** "

Henry wasn't going along with it. " **Go!** "

Killian sighed. " **Okay. Henry, I need to bring you somewhere safe. All right**." He pulled the cork out of the bottle and splashed it on the door, unlocking it and breaking the spell. " **I'm coming in!** "

Before he could finish one step, Killian felt his feet slip out from under him and he went crashing to the floor. If it hadn't hurt so bad, he would have admired Henry's ingenuity - booby trapping the mayor's office. He saw Henry run by.

 _Damn_. " **Henry! I'm just trying to do what's best for you!** " Killian called, getting to his feet and going after the boy.

Before could Killian could make it out of the door, the drunk from the other night stepped through…Will was his name, Killian remembered after hearing it from Robin.

" **I've been looking for you, pirate. Come to pay you back for that shiner you gave me**." Will said.

 _Bloody irritating idiot_. " **Now's not the time, mate.** "

" **Oh, it bloody well is the time!** " Will stopped him from following Henry and put up his fists. " **Now let's see how hard you are without your girlfriend 'round to protect ya.** "

 _I don't have time for this nonsense, especially not dealing with a drunk child who likes to think he's tough._ Killian easily dodged the swing and pushed the other man into the wall hard enough to keep him down for a bit. Without a second thought, Killian ran out, calling Henry's name as he searched for the boy.

Finally, the order from Gold to find Henry wore off - or the Dark One called him back - Killian wasn't sure. Either way, the bloody imp wouldn't be happy and that made Killian very happy. Or, well, as happy as he could be without his heart.

" **Henry got away**." He reported.

Gold scoffed. " **So you failed. At kidnapping a child**."

 _Shows what you know about the lad_ , Killian glared at the Dark One. " **Well, perhaps you could say my heart wasn't in it.** "

" **The Snow Queen's plan also failed**." The Dark One reported, and since he hadn't seen people brawling in the street on the way back, Killian assumed that was likely true. " **But mine won't. Enjoy this snowfall, dearie. It'll be your last**."

A _ye, I knew that. But perhaps I can still save Emma. And her family._ " **Then grant me one dying wish**."

" **I'm not in the business of making deals with you anymore.** " Gold bit back, annoyed.

" **Leave Emma and the rest of Storybrooke be. There's no need to harm them**." Killian said, not wanting to beg but needing to try to stop this madness if he could.

" **When I step over that town line with my magic intact, Emma and Storybrooke have nothing to fear from me... As long as they don't get in my way.** " The Dark One said, as always hedging his bets. " **But I can't make that same promise for the rest of the world.** "

 _I don't care about the rest of the world._ Killian thought. "Are we done?"

"For now." Gold nodded dismissively.

Once he was outside, Killian took out his phone to see a text from Emma.

"Did you lock yourself in."

"Where are you?"

"Curse is broken."

"Heading to the ice wall. Meet us?"

He smiled a little at Emma's checking on him. "On my way." He sent back.


	67. Chapter 67

AN: Usual things apply, I'm not going to repeat them. If you've made it here, you know. I know updates have been sporadic. I haven't abandoned this story. RL has just won out for a while. Thanks for all the reads/faves/reviews :D

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains and Knaves**

Chapter 67

Elsa, Emma, Anna, Kristoff, Henry, and Snow White were all gathered at the ice wall. Killian couldn't help but be impressed when Elsa got rid of the whole bloody thing with a few waves of her hands. But then Anna began charging forward and Emma stopped her to check the barrier. Which was, of course, still up.

How are you going to get out of this one, Dark One? Killian thought. Almost as if he was reading his thoughts, Killian felt the distinct pull of Rumplestiltskin giving him instructions - to listen and report. He wanted to make sure Anna and Elsa and Kristoff left. But why?

When he got to the shop, Killian was very irritated.

"So?" Rumplestiltskin asked.

"So what?" Killian replied. I'm not going to make any part of this easy for you, Dark One.

Gold sighed and pulled out Killian's heart. "Let's try this again. Tell me."

Killian tried to resist, but the Dark One gave the heart a little squeeze. "They didn't leave. The Snow Queen mucked up the border. Once you cross, there's no c... Coming back." He bit out, fighting every word.

As he listened to Rumplestiltskin work out this new wrinkle in the plan, Killian finally realized what the issue was: Anna knew the Dark Ones plan somehow. "She knows, doesn't she? She knows what you were doing, cleaving yourself from the dagger so you can leave with your power. Emma told me Belle confessed about knowing Anna."

Gold didn't confirm it. "Still, quite the supposition."

"Why else would you care? Anna's a danger to you. You can't have your blissfully ignorant wife…" Killian trailed off.

"Lose either her bliss or ignorance." Gold finished. "Watch Anna. Make sure she comes nowhere near this shop."

"But if I had the choice." Killian warned.

"Well, you don't. Your usefulness was unexpectedly extended. But tonight, when the stars in the sky align with the stars in the sorcerer's hat, I will finally do what I should have done so many years ago. I will crush your heart."

Killian felt his cheek twitch with rage. "And while I'm out doing your dirty work, what are you gonna do?"

Gold softened, only slightly. "I'm simply gonna wake my wife and prepare her for my greatest gift. She's gonna have the life she always wanted."

Killian rolled his eyes. Maybe Emma would like dinner from Granny's.

Quickly he hit the number one on his phone. "Swan, fancy meeting at Granny's?"

"We're going to talk to Regina and check around for a way out of here for our friends. Maybe I'll…meet you there later?" Emma suggested. "Speaking of, where did you go after we left the ice wall?"

Killian looked down, he hated lying to her. "Just went to check on Robin."

"Okay. Well, I'll see you later then?"

"Of course, Swan." He said and hung up.

Before he could think to do anything else, he felt compelled by the Dark One to meet him at the docks. Again. Killian cursed his own stupidity at getting caught up with the Dark One and made his way to the docks. As before, he and Rumplestiltskin began to follow a broom. While they walked, Killian formulated a plan. He was going to die, but if he could figure out what the Dark One was up to, maybe he could warn Emma and the others. He'd much rather die having saved Emma, then it wouldn't feel like such a hollow death.

"You may have got the best of me this time, Dark One, but I promise you, in the next life, it won't be so pleasant for you." Killian allowed his anger to build - for some reason his anger disarmed Rumplestiltskin a bit and made the other man more likely to talk.

"Well, then, given my immortality, you'll have quite the wait amongst the fire and brimstone." Gold replied.

"If I really am to die, at least give me all the information. Whose house is this?" Killian asked.

"A powerful sorcerer. He brought the Snow Queen from Arendelle to this world, which means his magic is strong enough to move between that world and ours. There's a portal around here somewhere. We simply need to find it." Gold said as they followed the broom into the house and into a large, open room, where the object stopped. "There."

A portal appeared that seemed to be a door to nowhere.

"Now, get Anna and the others here. You may tell them I helped you…" Gold trailed off as he looked at Killian. "Better yet. Go to Granny's, I believe that's where you'll find the others. I'll take it from there."

Killian felt his anger rise. But he did as he was told. He didn't have a choice. He could feel that his heart was in the Dark One's hands, even though he wasn't currently being given directions.

He walked into Granny's and went over to the counter, motioning to Emma. "Swan. Come celebrate, for I may not be the Savior, but I've just saved the day." Killian heard his own voice say. This is bloody ridiculous, I do not sound like this you bloody imp.

Emma motioned to the others. "Hang on. Don't get your hopes up yet." She smiled as she made her way over to him. "Okay. What, exactly, are we celebrating?"

Killian felt his mouth moving and words coming out but it wasn't him. It didn't even sound remotely like something he'd really say - more of a caricature than anything. He screamed at Emma in his head: It's not me! Don't listen! You've got to figure it out, Emma, and stop the bloody Dark One!

And, of course, Emma wanted him to come with her to the portal. Can't, love. Killian thought sadly. The Dark One's going to kill me while you're busy with the portal. Then he wished he could groan at the words the Dark One was forcing out of his mouth. That's the most ridiculous excuse I have ever heard from any person. You have got to see through that, Emma.

Killian knew he was running out of time, and despite his half-promises, the first thing a newly freed Dark One would do is eliminate the competition. Eliminate Emma. I will not hurt Emma. That thought still blazed like a fire through him. In a last, desperate attempt, Killian let that fire push against the magic controlling him, and for one, brief second, his hand was free. He grabbed Emma's wrist, fighting the magic with every fiber of his being. Finally, he let go and went on his way to meet his fate, hoping that Emma would figure things out in time to stop the Dark One. A nagging little voice in the back of his mind kept reminding him of what his hallucination of Baelfire had said: "have faith".


	68. Chapter 68

AN: Usual things apply, I'm not going to repeat them. If you've made it here, you know. Story has not been abandoned, however, regular updates will continue to be...sporadic.

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains and Knaves**

Chapter 68

He was ready and willing to die - he'd accepted that fate. Killian just hated the location, the method, and the person - thing - that was killing him. Though the fact that the Dark One would be the one to kill him was not wholly surprising, Killian thought it would be near the sea, or on it. For nearly three centuries, he'd accepted the possibility of his death as an inevitable part of trying to take revenge on the Dark One. Now, though, now he had Emma. And even though he truly wanted to live and have a future with Emma, he was still Killian Jones and he was going to face his end with bravery.

And then Emma showed up. Killian felt hope flare up for the briefest of seconds before Rumplestiltskin froze Snow White and Emma.

" **Well, maybe not everything has went to plan. But this next part…** " Rumplestiltskin glared maniacally at Killian. " **I'm really gonna enjoy.** "

The Dark One crushed Killian's heart, just a little, causing Killian to cry out and fall to the ground. He hated that Emma would see this, frozen as she was and unable to stop it, but at the same time he was glad the last thing he saw would be her. And that was his only comfort because it hurt. Gods did it hurt. Because the Dark One wasn't going to just kill him quickly, no. He was going to take his time. Killian focused on Emma: her hair, her smile, even her blasted walls. And then, the pain stopped. On instinct, Killian reached out and caught his heart, noticing that Belle was now standing behind Rumplestiltskin, holding the dagger. The real dagger. And she was furious. In a puff of smoke they were gone, and Emma was rushing up the stairs towards him.

"Killian? What happened? How?" Emma asked, hugging him.

"It's a long story." Killian sighed, knowing he would have to fess up to everything and still reeling from all that had happened in the last minute or so. "Let's not…discuss it here." He stood with her, his heart firmly in his hand.

"Come on. Let's get you back to Granny's." Emma nodded.

As they walked, she kept glancing over at the glowing, red heart in his hand.

"So we've got to…what? Put that back in?" Emma asked nervously.

"Aye, but I've a lot to say." Killian nodded.

Emma shuddered a little. "After we put that back in, you can tell me everything. Should I call Regina?"

"No need." Killian held the back door to Granny's for her and they stepped in to the secluded entry of the bed and breakfast. "Hold out your hands, Swan."

"What?" Emma looked confused.

"Hold out your hand, love. It's clearly making you uncomfortable, so you've got to put it back."

"Me?"

"Aye." He nodded.

"How?"

"You just put it back in, love." He placed the heart in her hands.

"I just put it back in?" Emma regarded the heart dubiously.

"Yes." Killian said patiently, and Emma still hesitated, so he added, " **Just be gent…** " He couldn't finish his sentence because Emma had slammed his heart back into his chest. Killian couldn't stop the grunt of surprise and pain, but it lasted only a second.

Emma clearly thought she'd hurt him, " **Sorry. I just thought if I did it quickly, it'd be like ripping off a…** "

But Killian didn't let her finish. He could finally feel again and the one thing he had missed feeling more than anything was her. Killian pushed her against the wall, and kissed her with every bit of emotion, every bit of passion he had and it felt wonderful. It was like breathing fresh air after being trapped inside a cave for a month, like being on the water with clear skies and a good wind. He pulled away, Emma chasing his kiss. He had to stop, before this went where it couldn't. Not when there was so much she didn't know.

" **I told you, Swan. I'm a survivor.** " Killian grinned.

Emma mirrored his grin. Only sheer force of will kept him from spending the rest of the evening kissing her senseless and enjoying every glorious sensation.

"I missed this." He whispered, leaning his forehead against hers and pulling their joined hands up to where his heart now beat a steady rhythm. "I missed my heart skipping a beat every time you smiled like that."

Emma blushed. "Don't tell me you're turning all sappy on me."

"I did just get my heart back, love." Killian countered. "And I'd love to continue this…but we need to talk."

"Come on." Emma sighed, taking his hand and leading him to the sitting room at Granny's. "Spill."

"It all started the day you asked me out." Killian sighed. "I, rather stupidly in retrospect, didn't just want to be a better man but a whole man. I had leverage on the Dark One I thought I could extend."

"Leverage?"

"I knew the dagger he gave Belle was a fake. I used my leverage the first time to get him to help us track down the Snow Queen. But I figured the threat of telling Belle was still good and would get me one more thing from the Dark One. So I demanded he return my hand back, because he has it floating in a glass jar for some reason. The Dark One warned me that the price of the magic might be too high. He said that my hand was from the callous pirate I used to be, that I might not like who I'd become with it. I thought his threat was empty - how could a hand possibly control me? I'm not sure if it was cursed or the price of magic or what, but…I did things that I regret. Things I don't think I was actually controlling."

Realization dawned on Emma. "The thief who spilled wine on me. You were the one who punched him. Why?"

"That's where I'm unsure about the hand. Bloody drunk fool was breaking into the library. I tried to send him home, he pushed me away, and then I punched him. But I didn't really want to. There was no reason, he wasn't worth my time. Which worried me. I can't…I can't become the man I want to be with a hand that did things like that. So I went back to the Dark One."

Killian ended up telling her everything, right down to the effort it took to warn her. Emma listened…patiently. He couldn't look at her while he told the story but it felt…good. Cathartic. To finally tell someone everything. When he finished, Killian finally stopped pacing and glanced at Emma. She sat silently for a few moments and he could see that she was processing the story.

"Okay." She said.

"Okay?" Killian asked, confused.

"Yeah. As far as I'm concerned, Gold manipulated you into doing all of that." Emma stood.

"I'm not without blame here, love." He sighed.

"I didn't say that." Emma took his hand. "You should never have tried to blackmail Rumplestiltskin, and you should have told us - and Belle - about the dagger as soon as you knew. And did you really think I care about…this?" She picked up his hook.

Killian shook his head. "I know you don't, love. I just thought…I wasn't thinking. I was being selfish. If you want me to leave…"

"Why would I want that?" She asked. "You made a mistake. You just gotta learn from it and not do it again."

Whatever I did to even have this woman look at me… "I don't deserve you."

Emma leaned in and kissed him gently. "You did warn me. In Granny's…something felt very…off. Now, we've won and you know what that means."

"Party at Granny's?" Killian asked. The people of Storybrooke were predictable at times, but in this case it was a good thing.

"Party at Granny's. And you are required to make an appearance or everyone - especially my mother - will worry." Emma smiled and led him through the doors into the diner where a great majority of Storybrooke was already starting to party.


	69. Chapter 69

AN: Almost 70 chapters and I'm still in Season 4...crazytown. Chapter 70 will pick up after the stand-alone/not stand-alone story "Here to Stay is a New Bird" which is about Emma and Killian's first Christmas. I hope to have 70 up very, very soon. Thanks for sticking with this!

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains and Knaves**

 **Chapter 69**

"You know what Thursday is?" Mary Margaret asked as they ate.

"No." Emma shook her head.

"Thanksgiving. We should do something." Mary Margaret sighed. "Something normal and not monster or curse related."

"You have a day for what…thanking people?" Killian asked, confused.

"No. It's a day to be thankful for everything that we have." Mary Margaret shook her head. "We should have dinner. Have Regina, Henry, Granny…whoever."

"I don't know…It's not really a thing I've ever celebrated."

"I think we should. The Snow Queen is gone, and without Gold here…we might be able to have a little peace. I'd say that's reason enough to be thankful." David said, sliding into the booth with the others.

"I'm always up for a party." Killian shrugged, looking over at Emma.

"Fine." Emma sighed. "Does this mean you're going to get all crazy about Christmas too?"

"Christmas?" Killian asked.

"I'll explain it to you later." Emma sighed.

"I don't feel like wanting to spend time as a family is particularly crazy, Emma." Mary Margaret said.

 _Nice one, Your Highness._ Killian thought, detecting just a hit of guilt in Snow's voice.

"Of course not." Emma shook her head.

"Then it's settled." David said with a hint of finality. "We'll make the Christmas plan after we eat Thanksgiving dinner."

 _Whatever this holiday is, Swan, I think you'll have no choice but to spend it with your family_. Killian smirked.

"I haven't really done Christmas, except last year with Henry." Emma said softly. "All those Christmases before…the fake memories…I guess that's what Regina did with him. So we'll have to work that out, too."

"Hook, you are welcome to join us for Thanksgiving." Snow nodded.

 _This is a surprise. But not an unwelcome one._ Killian couldn't identify the feeling he was having. It was different from when he was around Emma…a strange warmth and joy… _is this…acceptance?_

 _"_ Thank you, milady." He said sincerely. "I would be honored."

Emma swatted at him playfully. "Seriously?"

Killian looked at Emma, confused. What had he done?

"Don't worry, Killian, she's just mad that you gave Mary Margaret a better response and are making her look bad." David grinned.

Emma sighed. "Too bad Anna and Elsa had to get back, they would have loved this."

"You think so?" David asked.

"They thought everything we did was strange. Imagine what they would have thought of Thanksgiving." Emma smiled.

"Aye. It is disconcerting for those of us without native memories." Killian nodded, putting an arm around Emma. He knew she would miss Elsa, as the two had become close friends in a short amount of time. "Though there are several wonderful things about this land."

"Such as?" Snow prompted.

"Coffee. Showers. Good shoes." Killian listed some of his favorite things. "Shakespeare. Take-out. And I've grown rather accustomed to having electricity."

David burst out laughing. "That…was not even close to what I was expecting."

"Oi! That's a very good list. Tell me you wouldn't love it if we had to go back and I took a whole shipload of coffee with me." Killian challenged.

"I know I would." Mary Margaret sighed. "Though I think David just means it is not the list of things you would think Captain Hook would appreciate."

"No, but it is what Killian Jones likes. Aside from this one, of course." He nodded at Emma who blushed slightly.

"So, now the real question is: what are we going to eat?" Snow asked, smiling and making everyone else laugh.

 _AN: *For Emma and Killian's Christmas adventure, see "Here To Stay Is A New Bird"*_


	70. Chapter 70

AN:70 chapters. I'm thinking I'm going to "complete" this story at the end of season 4, then maybe start a new one to tackle season 5 and onward. 5 has a lot going on in terms of Killian Jones and what's going on inside his head. Not to worry, I still have a whole half of season 4 to finish and you'll be getting those updates sporadically. (seriously, I try but...). Sorry for the long note. Bold words are lines from the show. Italics are thoughts/flashbacks. I own nothings. Read/Follow/Review/Enjoy

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains and Knaves**

 **Chapter 70**

Routine. Routine and peace. Killian was surprised how much he loved the town of Storybrooke and his life when there were no monsters to chase or villains to deal with. Every morning, he'd wake up, get breakfast at the counter - which Granny usually had waiting for him, then she'd pack up a to go cup of coffee and one of hot chocolate and he'd bring them to where the bug was parked on the street. Then it was a short, but pleasant walk with Emma to the library, where Killian worked on the only black spot of his otherwise cheerful existence: the fairies. The guilt of what the Dark One had made him do ate at him. Killian assigned a great deal of blame to himself because it was his own fault that Rumplestiltskin had managed to manipulate him, so he was determined to right this wrong.

Usually, Belle either arrived right when he did or much earlier. Privately, Killian believed she was throwing herself into this work because she was still dealing with what had happened between herself and the Dark One. _How anyone could love that…creature…_ he shook his head.

"Morning, love." He said, setting his coffee down and pulling his latest borrow (a book by a man named Tolkien about small creatures and a dragon) back on the shelf.

"Good morning, Killian." Belle smiled. "How'd you like the book?"

"I rather enjoyed it. Of course…I think the dwarves in his stories are a bit…" He searched for the right word. "More warrior-like than our own."

Belle laughed. "They are indeed. Too bad we don't have a few of the elves hanging around Storybrooke…they could help us with this hat."

"Aye." Killian sighed and looked over at the board. "You know…stories here are sometimes true…shall I start looking in some books on myths perhaps? Oh Henry's book?"

"There's nothing in the book. I already had Henry check." Belle shook her head. "But myths are usually based on some truth. Maybe start with Arthurian myths?"

They searched quietly for a few hours before Belle suggested they break for lunch and discuss what they'd learned.

Belle smiled at him. "Do you ever wonder? What you would have been like if you were swept up in the curse?"

Killian shook his head. He hadn't ever really thought of it. "I supposed I'd be working at the docks or something."

"Oh no, you'd be an English or History teacher." Belle shook her head. "Though…you'd probably wear less leather. And maybe glasses."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know. It just seems…you?" She smiled. "And like…the hipster glasses, too. And plaid. And I think you'd be that cool English teacher. Although, I don't know. I was a party girl. But that might have more to do with Regina deciding to take a little revenge on Rumple…"

"I'm not entirely sure Her Majesty would have treated me kindly in the curse."

"She didn't…I've learned a bit about the curse and Regina didn't have as much _say_ in the creation of everyone's cursed personas. Otherwise Mary Margaret would have been in a really terrible job, not teaching school. If you think about it, my cursed counterpart…she was into bad boys and adventure. That's not exactly far from the truth. I'm just more restrained than she was."

"So I might've ended up as myself, just a little different."

"It depends. I was a target of Regina's. If you weren't, you would have ended up as more-or-less yourself, just…not yourself."

"And you think that would have been a teacher?"

"If I've learned anything about you, Killian, it is that Captain Hook was never who you were. Not really. Who knows? You may have even still attracted the eye of the Savior."

Killian shook his head. "As crazy as the past few years again, I wouldn't change it for the world."

That night, Killian had the _strangest_ dream.

He was sitting in Granny's, grading papers and drinking. Though one look at the top paper explained the need for the drink.

"How bad are they this time?" Granny asked, delivering his burger and fries.

"I'm switching to rum." Killian sighed.

"Ouch. Well, kids these days just don't appreciate good literature." The older woman smiled. "Don't overdo it, Killian. You don't want to turn into another Leroy."

"Aye." Killian nodded. "I know my limits."

The door rang and Emma walked in. But this was Emma like she was when they first met, or even before. This Emma didn't believe.

"Miss Swan." Granny nodded stiffly.

Killian adjusted his glasses, which felt a lot like the ones Emma used to wear. She was gorgeous…even if she didn't even glance his way, which felt odd. He sighed.

"They can't be that bad." Emma said, not turning around from her seat at the bar.

"Well, this student decided to tell me that Henry the fifth killed all six of his wives and lost the American revolution." He explained, taking a swig of his drink. "I shudder to think what these kids do in history class."

"Wait…you don't teach history?" Emma turned around.

"High school literature. We're studying Shakespeare. We did _Hamlet_ , now we're doing _Henry V_. Of course my students have missed the entire point of the play."

"Well, it's kind of old." She said.

"Timeless." Killian countered.

"Hard to understand."

He stood, carrying his empty mug to the counter. He really was going to need a stronger drink if the top essay was any indication and he needed to prove a point. "It is a language or romance and power and emotion and wisdom."

Emma scoffed. "If you say so."

Killian cleared his throat. "' _She's beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is woman, and therefore to be won_ '."

"How…misogynistic."

"No. He is saying that a beautiful woman deserves to be treated wonderfully, and wooed spectacularly. And that a woman is not to simply be had, taken, or otherwise gotten unless the intended lover wins her _heart_. It is romantic." Killian turned to Granny. "Something much stronger, please."

Emma blushed, but recovered quickly. "So, Literature Teacher, do you have a name?"

"Killian Jones." He held out a hand. "You're Emma Swan."

She shook it, but was clearly irritated by his statement. "Does _everyone_ know who I am?"

"It's a small town." Killian shrugged. "And when you irritate the Mayor, you tend to become known."

Emma rolled her eyes as Granny delivered her food and his drink. "Well, enjoy your drink and your papers. I guess…I'll see you around." She smiled at him, a genuine smile that he recognized as _his_ Emma.

"Absolutely, Swan. I'll be here when you need me." Killian raised his glass to her as she made her way out.

Killian awoke with a start. That was, indeed, a bizarre dream. But it wasn't…unpleasant or completely unrealistic. Perhaps he _could_ have been a teacher, or maybe when he was older and the pirate/assistant to Swan/librarian routine was no longer necessary…he could go and teach. Though he thought dealing with teenagers like Henry all day might not be for him.

The day was cloudy and cold, and something about it felt… _off_. Killian couldn't put a finger on it as he ate his usual breakfast in his usual booth, but today was different somehow. And not in a good way. Maybe it was just his dream unsettling him.

Killian couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. And it was making him irritable. True, he'd has his usual routine morning with Emma and he and Belle had gotten to work, but something was bothering him. In frustration, Killian knocked the whole board down.

Belle was not impressed with his antics. " **Well, I see you still have your temper**."

Killian felt bad about hitting the board, but he was done. The weather, his dream, the bad feeling he'd felt all day had compounded to the point that he couldn't stand the fact that they couldn't fix his mistake. " **Six weeks and nothing. They're still trapped inside that bloody hat**."

She seemed to understand, a little, why he was angry. " **Look, we just have to keep at it, okay? But we will find a spell to release the fairies. I mean, these translations are difficult, but I've reached out to some of the finest minds in the world, and one of them will get back to us. I know it**."

 _Why did everyone rely so much on those bloody magic boxes? They couldn't have all the answers_. " **If we're reduced to those magic boxes, then I'd say hope is in short supply**." He scoffed, still in a sour mood.

Belle tapped the computer. " **They, uh... Call it the Internet. And it can help us. And once we get the fairies out of the hat, they can help us release everyone else, including that poor old man that you put in there**."

" **All because I left myself be tricked by that Crocodile. How could I have been so weak?** " Killian asked softly, finally getting to the root of his problem, and his mood.

She softened. " **Well... We both were. You know, Rumplestiltskin got the best of us. And you're right. You... You should've been stronger, but you weren't. And…** " Belle paused, uncomfortable. " **Well, neither was I. You know, I... I should've seen through him**."

He shook his head. In this entire mess, Belle was one of the people who was completely blameless. " **You were blinded by love. What was my excuse?** "

" **Probably the same, just for someone else**." Belle said softly.

Killian knew she was correct. And it had brought up an even more frightening revelation then that the Dark One had used them both. " **Well, he's right about one thing... Love is a weapon, as dangerous and persuasive as magic.** "

"Perhaps. But it is also strength." Belle sighed. " **He had both of our hearts.** "

Killian hated seeing his friend like this. It was one thing for a former villain to indulge in some self-pity and self-abasement, it was quite another for someone like Belle to fell that way. " **Hey... As big a bastard as he was, he did love you**."

She sniffled, clearly not entirely in control of her emotions. " **And, uh, now he's gone from our lives forever. Yeah, I... I just, I uh... I just hope he's found whatever it is he's looking for.** "

 _With the Dark One? Probably not. And I wouldn't count on him being gone forever._ Killian sighed and began fixing the board.

A few hours later, Belle gasped and stood up from the computer. Or internet. Or magic box. Killian was never quite sure what to call that thing.

"Killian! I've got it." She smiled.

"Got it?"

"Remember I said I reached out to some of the finest minds in the world?" Belle asked.

"Of course."

"Well, one of them just emailed me back. And he's cracked it."

Killian smiled. "Let's get this to Emma and Regina."

Belle nodded and they ran out of the library, not even bothering to lock the door.


	71. Chapter 71

AN: I solemnly swear that I have not abandoned this story. My editing/posting has caught up with the writing (thanks writer's block!). Hopefully I'll get more regular updates until this is finished (which will be the end of season 4/maybe a little of 5).

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 71

Killian was thanking every god ever thought of that Emma was with him, and understood that he needed her today. She had taken his hand and didn't let go, not even when the hat started to glow. He drew strength from her, and as the light faded

and the fairies were safely out, Killian felt some of his guilt lift. The look on their faces, however, told him it would be a long time before he would ever be able to forgive himself. He knew that look. That was the look his crew, and - if he was being honest - he had after returning from Neverland and the horrors that they'd seen and done there.

It was still bothering him as they made their way to Granny's for the Storybrooke tradition of celebrating any victory the heroes had. And getting the fairies back was certainly a victory. He took advantage of Emma apparently slipping away to talk to someone to sneak into the back so he could think.

He knew, academically, that the whole thing _wasn't_ his fault. While it had been his fault to get mixed up with the Dark One, he was not personally responsible for whatever horrors the fairies had endured. But no matter how much he told himself that, Killian kept coming back to the idea that if he hadn't been selfish and tried to blackmail Rumplestiltskin then none of this would have happened. _Perhaps that is the truth. I am responsible and I must accept that responsibility._

The door opened near the bathrooms - Killian momentarily tensed but relaxed when he realized it was Emma.

" **Whoa. Beware of lurking pirates.** " She smirked. " **What are you doin'?** "

 _Fair question, Swan. And I don't want to cast a pall…_ Killian sighed. " **Just thinking**."

Emma shook her head. " **Lurking and brooding. That's a classic combo. I think heroes can do a little bit of bragging and celebrating. Let's go. It's a party. We should... Buckle some swash or, you know, whatever**."

Even though he found her attempt at what she thought was 'pirate lingo' completely adorable, it didn't shake him out of his contemplative mood. " **I'm hardly a hero. The fairies were only in the hat because I put them there**." _There, I said it aloud. That's got to count for something_.

She regarded him carefully. " **You weren't in control of that. That was Gold. Trust me. You have a mark in the hero column**."

 _One mark is hardly enough to undo two centuries of villainy. But a mark on the side of good would be nice to have, nonetheless._ " **I hope so**."

Emma grabbed his arm. " **Come on**." She smiled and dragged him back to the party where Killian was, eventually, able to begin to enjoy it.

Of course, at is was Storybrooke, the peace was short-lived. A loud scream shattered the cheerful mood at Granny's. Killian rushed outside with the rest, only to see a large bat-like demon swooping towards them. _What the blazes is that thing? And where did it come from?_ Killian wondered. They all rushed for cover around the side of a building, and he kept watch because it was never safe to leave an enemy at your back without watching him.

" **Did that thing come out of the hat?! I thought the spell was only supposed to release the fairies**." Regina asked, and Killian thought she was probably right.

" **Well, maybe it is some kind of fairy.** " Snow suggested.

" **Why don't we just put it back in the hat and figure out the rest later?** " Emma asked.

Belle shook her head, " **Because we can't. Once something's freed, it can never be re-trapped**."

 _Of course not._ Killian mused, missing most of what Emma said next as he continued to watch the beast howl and swoop around. But it didn't matter. How could it? Regina and Emma had more than enough power to defeat anything. " **Surely the Savior and Evil Queen can defeat a simple hell beast.** "

" **Can we drop the "E" word already?** " Regina said irritably.

Killian watched as the two women walked out of cover and blasted the demon.

" **Well, that was easy**." Emma said.

Regina was less excited. " **Don't get excited. We only stunned it. And a blast like that should've destroyed it**."

Emma sighed. " **I was just getting used to things being relaxing around here. Belle…** " She turned to the librarian, who was already turning to head to the library. Then she turned to her mother who was likewise prepared to get the townspeople to safety.

" **Wow.** " Emma said, " **You guys really have this down**."

 _It_ _is_ _Storybrook, love._ Killian smiled at her. " **Well, this isn't our first monster bash.** " _I better help Belle_. And he walked off towards the library.


	72. Chapter 72

AN: usual warnings. I own nothing. Bold words are from the show. Italics are thoughts. Enjoy!

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 72

There wasn't much in the library. Killian hoped Emma was having more luck on her end because whatever that thing was, it wasn't in the books they'd looked at so far.

Suddenly, his phone rang. "Emma?" He asked, answering the device.

"Regina and I have a plan. We're gonna trick it over the town line." Emma explained.

"How? What can I do to help?" Killian asked, knowing that whatever she was about to do, it was dangerous.

"It's…tricky. I'll be fine. We need it to focus on Regina so you stay with Belle and see if you can't come up with a plan B. Just in case."

"Be careful, Swan."

"I will." She said. "I'll be back in time for family dinner."

"Aye." Killian nodded. "I expect to see you there."

"Deal. I'll call when it's over." Emma said and hung up.

Killian sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"What is it?" Belle asked.

"Emma and Regina have a plan. They're going to trick the beast over the town line." He explained.

She nodded, "That makes sense. It's a magical being, so if they get it over the barrier…it should vanish. So…we just wait?"

"Let's keep looking. We may yet need a plan B."

There weren't may perks to being royalty (or dating royalty) in Storybrook, but Granny being a close personal friend was one of the few. Granny always closed a little early on Wednesdays, but when Snow or David asked to use the diner for family dinner, the old woman always said 'yes' and sometimes even offered to cook or lend the staff. Killian met Emma and Henry there. Granny had left a note allowing them to help themselves to the drinks and to put the food in the oven. Killian and Emma took care of the drinks while Henry did the food. When he came out of the kitchen, however, the lad chose to sit at the bar and look through his book.

" **What do you suppose the boy is up to now?** " Killian asked.

" **Being Henry.** " Emma sighed happily. " **If anyone's gonna get that author out of the book, it's him**."

 _Oh I'd love for this version of you to meet yourself when we first met,_ Killian smiled at her. " **You've become quite the optimist, Swan**."

She seemed to consider it for a moment. " **Have I? Guess I... Couldn't really help it, between him and my parents**."

" **That reminds me. Aren't they supposed to be here?** " He asked. _This is family dinner night, after all._

" **You're right. I wonder what's keeping them**." Emma puzzled before reaching for her phone and sending a quick text to her father.

"Well, while we wait, what say you to something a bit stronger, love?" Killian raised an eyebrow.

"No. We told Granny we'd stay out of the liquor, remember?" She swatted him playfully. "We should probably check on the food, though."

"I should probably check on the food, Swan. No offense, but unless it's breakfast…" He trailed off.

Emma rolled her eyes. "I'm sure Henry would disagree with you. Right, kid?"

Henry didn't even look up from his book. "I'm with Hook on this one."

Killian just chuckled as he made his way back to the kitchen. He didn't even have to look to know that Emma was pouting. Suddenly, he felt a warm rush and heard a clicking sound like his hook disengaging from the brace. Looking down, he noticed it was gone.

"Swan!" He roared in mock anger. "What've I told you about messing with a man's hook?"

When he re-entered the diner, Emma was in a fit of giggles, along with Henry, and she was holding his hook in her hand victoriously.

It was so thoroughly domestic and happy, Killian couldn't help but think that he could spend his whole life having moments like this. Emma stood and clicked his hook back in place.

"Is this your message to me that it's not wise to tease the Savior?" He raised an eyebrow.

"That. And it was really funny." She kissed him gently. "Besides, I need to practice."

"Aye, love, well how about practicing on dinner instead?" Killian smiled.

Emma bit her lip. "I don't know if I can."

"You beat Pan, the Snow Queen, and held your own against Rumplestiltskin and the Evil Queen. I think you can get lasagna out of the oven, Swan."

She took a deep breath and waved her hand and the lasagna appeared on the counter.

"See? Good work." Killian smiled, walking over to grab some hot pads and move the lasagna on to a trivet. "What did the royals say?"

Emma walked over to her phone. "David said they'll be late, to start without them. I wonder what they're…maybe I don't want to wonder."

"Mom, please don't bring up the taco incident again." Henry shuddered. "That was…not okay."

"Taco incident?" Killian asked, confused. He was pretty sure he'd heard of tacos, they were some sort of food. But he'd never had them, he'd assumed that Emma just didn't like them. Now there was a story behind it.

"Nope. Not talking about it over dinner." Emma shook her head as she scooped up lasagna.

"Yeah, new topic please." Henry nodded.

Now Killian _had_ to know. Perhaps David would tell him later. Or he could get it out of Emma once they were no longer eating.

Snow and David showed up not long after, and dinner continued on in the same cheerful manner it had started in. Killian sensed that something was…off with Snow and David but that could be because of their tardiness to the dinner they, themselves, scheduled.


	73. Chapter 73

AN: Read, enjoy. If you made it here, you know the drill. I know the chapters have been shorter lately, but it's just the pacing of the story.

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 73

The next day, Killian was in the library helping Belle when Emma texted him to join her for lunch at Granny's - they needed to meet with Regina and the Charmings to discuss some new additions to Storybrooke. Killian guessed that since no one ever came to Storybrooke, any new visitors were a concern. History suggested that most visitors were generally nefarious - Cora, himself - initially, the Snow Queen - again initially, Elsa - though that wasn't entirely her fault, Pan…So it made sense that the town leaders would meet and discuss any new arrivals. It made even better sense to do it where they could get a burger and fries. Killian wasn't one to eat much of what Emma called "junk food" but he did enjoy Granny's french fries.

Killian wasn't about to miss the opportunity to spend some time with Emma, so he said a quick farewell to Belle and headed for the Sheriff's station.

"Give me two seconds to finish up." Emma smiled at him as he entered. "I could really use a grilled cheese."

"Haven't you considered branching out?" Killian asked, then added. "Maybe try some…tacos?"

Emma nearly spit out the sip of coffee she'd just had. "God I hate it that Henry ever used that word."

He smiled. "Come on, Swan. I need to know this story."

"Fine, but you have to swear to never even _mention_ tacos to me again." Emma groaned.

Killian offered a hand to help her up, which she accepted.

Emma sighed. "God I hate myself for telling you this…Henry and I went to the store to get some things to get tacos a while back. Right after the first curse. And while we were gone…my parents…took advantage of their first alone time in about 30 years…"

"Stop right there, Swan." He said, the idea of Emma and Henry walking in on her parents doing that was…not something he wanted to picture. "And I promise, no mention of whatever a taco is ever again." Killian did, however, enjoy the faint blush that spread up Emma's cheeks at the topic of conversation.

"So…what's new at the library?"

"Belle wants me to do something call 'story time' during the school break." He explained. "I don't know how this will go over with the little ones." Killian held up his hook.

"You have…like a hand attachment, right? Use that." Emma suggested, clearly glad to be off the topic of tacos.

"Aye, Belle thinks the hook won't be a problem…I'm not entirely sure. She seems to think everyone knows me already with the hook so it's not really a big deal anymore."

"Could be." She smiled. "You are dating the Sheriff. And my parents are kind of a big deal."

Killian smirked. "Snow and David? No. Never…" He trailed off as they drew closer to Granny's and saw Ursula and a bony woman draped in fur - her name escaped Killian at the moment - leaving the restaurant.

" **Hook.** " Ursula said sourly was they walked by.

 _Oh, bloody hell._ Killian thought. _This is not going to end well_.

Emma looked at him curiously. " **You know her**?"

 _How much can I tell her without having her hate me?_ " **Aye, love. I encountered many a vile creature on my voyages**." _Though, to be fair, Ursula was anything_ _but_ _vile before she ran in to me…_

Before Emma could respond, David rushed out of the diner. " **I'm glad you're here. We have to go**."

" **What? Now? We just came to meet you for lunch. I've been dying for a grilled cheese all day**." Emma practically whined.

 _You, Swan, are adorable. And I will personally ensure you get your grilled cheese today._ Killian listened as David explained that the two women who had just left were up to something. _Of course they are. It's bloody Storybrooke._

Emma sighed and kissed his cheek. " **Looks like duty calls.** "

Killian nodded and watched the two leave. _I wonder if Emma will mind if I get my lunch now…I need to do something to get my mind off that blasted sea witch._


	74. Chapter 74

AN: Well, it's been a fun ride with these two. I just hope that whatever they do to explain Emma's absence in season 7 isn't one that breaks them up (like she left him or something. I am okay with forced curse separation but not choosing to separate). Without further ado, here's chapter 74.

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 74

Once he got word that Emma was back from her villain chase, he made sure to grab her food and deliver it to the station. He'd had a pleasant time eating lunch and chatting with Granny about his newest book ( _The Three Musketeers_ ) and had almost completely forgotten his run-in with Ursula that morning.

" **Grilled cheese, just the way you like it**." He announced, walking over to Emma's desk.

" **Fries?** " Emma asked.

 _Swan, you've never ordered fries from Granny in your life, I bet_. " **Onion rings.** "

She smiled. " **Good. I was just testing you**."

Killian motioned to the magic box she'd been working on. " **What's this?** "

" **A.T.M. security footage.** " Emma explained. " **We're trying to figure out if Ursula and Cruella stole something from Gold's shop**."

 _Cruella, that's the bony one's name!_ " **Mmm.** " Killian nodded. Those magic boxes - computers - really were useful some of the time.

Emma turned to him and Killian felt his stomach plummet. He knew that look. It was Emma's friendly interrogation look. " **Oh! By the way, I never got the chance to ask you how exactly you knew Ursula**."

" **I already told you, love. She's just one of the many sea monsters who crossed my path in my pirating days**." Killian said as nonchalantly as possible. _Please, Emma, don't push. I don't want to tell you this one_.

" **What, exactly, does that mean?** " She asked, not buying his answer.

" **Honestly, I don't recall.** " He lied. He knew she could tell he was lying but at the moment, having Emma mad at him for lying was better than her knowing the truth. " **Swan, that's all there is to know.** "

Emma kept pressing. " **You're holding something back.** "

 _Damn right I am. I don't want to talk about this._ Killian was starting to get a little annoyed at the line of questioning. He wasn't a bloody criminal - anymore. " **I don't know what else to say**."

" **Neither do I.** " The disappointed tone of her voice crushed him. " **Well, I should get back to it.** "

Anger, guilt, and sadness were warring in Killian's heart. " **Enjoy your witch hunt**."

Killian walked slowly out of the station. _If only Robin were here_ …his friend would have sat in the tavern and had a drink with him while Killian worried about Swan finally having enough of him. The tavern did still seem like a good idea…but Killian knew he needed space. The sea. _I miss my ship at times like this._

He settled for walking along the docks, drinking from his flask.

"It's okay to be angry at Emma, you know." Bae said, walking over to lean against the railing next to him.

For once, Killian was glad to see his hallucination-ghost-conscience-guide. "What makes you think I'm angry at Emma?"

"Aren't you?" The ghost challenged him.

"Well…yes. A little." Killian sighed. "I've been patient with her. I have _never_ pressed her to tell me about her past. What I did to Ursula…I don't want to be that man anymore, so why can't she just let me leave it in the past?"

"To be fair, her past hasn't really involved a person she's investigating like yours has." Bae pointed out.

He could concede that point. "Aye. And if I thought that knowing my history with Ursula would help…I would have told her. But all it does is remind me - and Emma - that I was a villain. I was a cold-hearted, selfish villain."

Bae sighed. "You have got to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, Killian. Emma is not going to leave you because the things that you did in the past. She knows what you were, and she's seen you change. Remember? You actually _fought_ her trying to get here with Cora. You stole Aurora's heart. You turned your back on her and condemned her to be stuck in that cell and never see her son."

"If this is you trying to cheer me up, you are doing a piss-poor job of it."

"It's not. I'm reminding you that Emma knew that _before_ you got together. She knows who you were, and I'm sure she's more interested in who you are _now_. Because the man I see is not the heartless Captain Hook."

Killian's phone buzzed - a text from Emma. "Well, she's asked me to come back the station. I guess I'm going to find out if she is going to leave me."

Bae ran his hand over his eyes - Killian didn't realize hallucinations or ghosts could be frustrated, not really being real. Or alive. "Think about Emma, Killian. What part of this whole thing do you think she's _actually_ mad about?"

Killian thought for a moment and then it dawned on him. Emma's issues were always with _trust_. She was always cynical and assuming people were lying or going to leave. So far, he had been pretty honest with her and had no intention of leaving her - voluntarily or not. But this afternoon he had knowingly lied to her.

"Yes, I know, I'm an idiot." Killian sighed, tucking his phone back into his pocket. "Thanks Bae."


	75. Chapter 75

AN: Sorry, I uploaded this and then heard the formatting was all whacked. Hopefully this fixes it. If not, please PM me!

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

 **Chapter 75**

Killian paused at the door for a second. _Time to face the music. If she wants to be done with me…well, then that's it. I'll just have to try to win her back if that happens_.

" **Well, Swan, why did you summon me?** " He asked, walking in.

" **Because I know there's something about your past with Ursula you're not telling me."** Emma said, and Killian was ready for the next part where she said that was it, they were done.

But Emma continued. " **And that's okay. What's not okay is you lying to me about it**."

 _Bae was right. He usually is_. Killian looked down, feeling a little like he'd just received a stay of execution. " **Aye, love, you're right. I haven't been entirely forthright with you,"** He walked over to where she stood. " **Truth is, I remember my history with Ursula. It was ugly**."

" **Did you break her heart?"** Emma asked.

 _How do I say yes without telling her that it wasn't in a romantic way? Truly, if that was all it was, Ursula would have been able to move on eventually._ So what he did was…" **Worse**."

 **"Look... Whatever you did, you're not that person anymore.** " She said, and said it with such soft conviction that Killian couldn't help but believe her. " **It's not gonna change anything between us."**

He couldn't believe it. Killian knew he was trying to change, but sometimes it felt like he just couldn't. For Emma to stand here and believe that he was a good man, that he had _already_ changed completely…it felt exhilarating and frightening. " **That's quite a lot of faith you're putting on me, Swan**." _How can you be so sure about me when I'm not sure myself?_

It was something new for Killian, to not really be sure of something. The persona he portrayed was that of a man who always knew what he was doing, where he was going, and how to handle any situation. And on the surface he was sure. He was sure that he was not _really_ a villain anymore. He was sure he was _trying_ to be a good man. Listening to Emma's reasons for her belief in him, however, started to fill him with more confidence. She was talking about her propensity to expect the worst in others - a wall he'd long ago knocked down when it came to himself - and to expect them to lie. That was all because of how she grew up, and how she'd been continually abandoned. Killian might not be able to control a whole lot of things, and he may sometimes slip back into some bad, old habits, but one thing he was absolutely certain of was that he would never willingly abandon Emma.

" **Hey. I don't intend to let you down.** " He said with conviction.

That made her smile slightly. "I **know. And I know whatever happened with that sea witch... You can tell me on your own time."** Killian felt his heart soar at the feeling of acceptance. It was something he was still getting used to but he loved it. Emma continued, " **Because no matter what, I gonna do what... My parents always do. I'm gonna choose to see the best in you."**

 **"And I with you.** " Killian promised. And it was true. He'd let her try to push him away, and instead of giving up when she kept pushing, he dug his heels in and proved to her that he was in this for the long haul, that he wasn't going to leave. That wasn't going to change any time soon. He leaned in to kiss her when a noise from the door startled them and the pair looked up to see Snow and Charming…lurking in the doorway.

 _Bloody royals._ Killian mentally cursed the pair. He enjoyed their company most of the time, but when it interrupted his moments with Emma, it just annoyed him. Plus, how long had they been standing there?

Emma kindly put her parents in their place - much nicer than Killian would have. And, being that it was still Storybrooke, the royals had bad news. Cruella and Ursula had resurrected Maleficent.

" **The dragon that I slayed under the clock tower?** " Emma asked, confused.

Which only confused Killian more, because he was pretty sure his encounter with Maleficent had involved some sort of creature, but not a dragon. " **Dragon? I thought she was some sort of mummified beast."**

" **Well, whatever she was, she's back to her old self now."** David said.

" **And as long as she's in town, no one is safe."** Snow added.

" **I don't get it. Why are these witches waging war against us?"** Emma asked.

 _Good question, love._ Killian thought, he was wondering the same thing.

" **Because they're villains, and we're heroes.** " Snow answered, and Killian immediately felt like that was far from the truth.

 _I'm not buying that,_ Killian thought as Emma and her parents discussed the next steps. Villains go after heroes, yes, but usually with reason. It's not always a good one, but every villain they'd faced had some kind of…plan, or goal, or drive. He'd spent two centuries trying to kill Rumplestiltskin, every evil deed he did was tied to that motivation. It didn't excuse the deeds themselves, but it was a reason. Regina had wanted revenge on Snow White. Had wanted to kill her happiness. The Snow Queen wanted her sisters back. Pan wanted to keep on living his immortal demon life. Zelena wanted to change the past. Even the bloody Dark One had been trying to get to his son.

"Killian! Hook!" Emma waved her hand in front of his face.

Killian smiled, breaking away from his thoughts. "Sorry, love. I was lost in thought. I don't believe this whole hero-villain reason thing."

"Me either." Emma shrugged. "Whatever their plan, it'll come out eventually. I'm sure my mom was just trying to come up with some explanation, she probably feels like she should know since she's faced both of them before."

"Most likely." Killian nodded. "What say we get you some food, Swan?"

She smiled up at him. "How did you know?"

"Like I said a long time ago, love," He took her hand and kissed it gently. "You're something of an open book. I know you better than you know yourself. Also, I know that you are constantly hungry."

Emma swatted at him playfully. "It's not nice to remark on a lady's appetite like that."

Killian just shrugged. "So…how do you feel about Chinese?"

"Sounds delicious." She said. "Let me get my coat."


	76. Chapter 76

AN:I will be wrapping up this story at the end of season 4. I might tackle season 5...but 5A is going to be a bear just to put in chronological order so...we'll see. In the meantime, continue to enjoy the look into the head of everyone's favorite dashingly handsome pirate

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**  
Chapter 76

After a pleasant evening with Emma, Killian started his day just like he usually did. Before he could make his way downstairs for his usual breakfast and coffee, his phone played the special tune Henry had set on it. Emma was calling him, early.

"Emma?" Killian asked. "Morning, love."

"Morning. Have you been downstairs yet?" Emma said.

He furrowed his brow. "No. Why?"

Emma filled him in on Regina's decision to go undercover and the report that Regina, Cruella, Ursula, and Maleficent had been to Granny's last night.

"Do you want me to see if they left anything behind?" Killian suggested.

"Please? I'll meet you there, I'm on my way."

"Course, Swan." Killian smiled and hung up.

Making his way downstairs, however, made Killian want to go right back up. The place was a bigger wreck then some of the taverns after his entire crew of _pirates_ had finished. Granny was absolutely beside herself with rage. He'd never heard some of the words coming from the kindly older woman's mouth, but he knew they were most certainly curses.

"What…happened?" Killian asked.

"What happened? What _happened_? I'll tell you what happened!" Granny raged. "Those four harpies drank me dry! Trashed this place! It'll take me all day to get it cleaned up and I've got no alcohol for the dinner rush. Mayor or not, when I get my hands on Regina Mills I will rip out her throat if she doesn't pay for all this damage and the business I lost! And look at the table! What were they doing? Throwing fireballs around?"

"I'll…" Killian looked around for some kind of escape. "I'll let Emma know. I'm sure the Sheriff would want to investigate this."

"INVESTIGATE? WHAT'S TO INVESTIGATE? I KNOW WHO DID THIS!" Granny screamed and Killian made his way _out_ of the diner as fast as he could.

Emma was just pulling up in the bug as he left the restaurant. " **Find anything in there**?" She asked.

" **Well, a burned table, broken bottles, uh, and a very irate Granny**." Killian repressed a shudder. " **Apparently, Regina and the witches drank the place dry. I'd say she won them over**."

Emma still seemed worried. " **Unless that's exactly what they wanted her to think.** "

" **Look, I know you're worried, but we don't even know what happened yet.** " Killian tried to reassure her.

" **That's what's worrying me. She's not at home. She's not in her office. My parents are gonna check her vault, but…** "

" **And you fear the worst**." He finished for her.

Emma nodded. " **I can't help but think, if the undercover thing worked, if she's got the situation under control, then why the hell isn't she back yet?** "

"Evil or not, Regina is a force to be reckoned with love. I'm sure it's just because she can't contact you without…what did Henry call it? Blowing her cover."

She sighed. "You're probably right." Emma looked over at Granny's. "So…wanna go get coffee from the shop around the corner?"

Killian smiled. "While I know you can't avoid Granny forever…it might not be a bad idea to give her some time to cool off." He offered her his hand. "Shall we?"

After coffee, Emma and Killian went back to Granny's. The older woman was no longer cursing in every language she knew from both realms, but was still fairly angry. Emma did her Sheriff thing and went to the station to investigate further. Knowing there wasn't much to investigate, Killian volunteered to stay behind and help Granny.

"I appreciate this, Jones." Granny smiled as they heaved the burnt table out to the side of the road for garbage pick-up.

"And I appreciate you making me breakfast every morning. And coffee. And Emma's hot chocolate." He shrugged. "It's the least I can do."

She shook her head. "Still. It needed to be said. And just know that drinks are on the house from now on."

"Why is that?" Killian asked.

Granny shrugged. "You're quite possibly the neatest guest we've ever had, you're helpful, you pay on time, and, don't tell any one this, but I've actually grown to like you, Jones. And I like you for Emma."

He was taken aback. This was the first time anyone had ever said he was good for Emma - except Bae, but he didn't count because he was either dead or a hallucination. Killian felt the same warm rush of acceptance that he had when Snow White had invited him to spend the holidays with them. But Captain Hook did not do the whole sappy group-hug, appreciate your feelings thing, so Killian just winked at Granny. "Nah, you just like me because I make you feel young. I've got to have a good two centuries on you."

That earned him an eye-roll from Granny and a smile. "You've got me. That's the real reason."

The pair spent another few hours cleaning on gossiping until Granny was satisfied that the diner was ready to receive customers. About the same time, Emma texted him that Regina wanted to meet them all at the library, which was closed but Killian had the key.

"Duty calls, Lady Lucas." Killian said. "Glad you're up and running again."

"Do me a favor? When you catch those witches, make them pay. Literally. This is going to cost me a fortune." Granny smiled.

Killian just nodded and walked out.


	77. Chapter 77

AN: Sorry about the formatting error. I was out of town and couldn't get on to correct it! So, as a "I'm sorry dear readers who are still hanging with me", I'm posting 3 new chapters! (the writing has almost caught up with the editing, which is why updates are so sporadic.) Here's attempt #2 at chapter 77...

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains and Knaves**

Chapter 77

The next morning, Killian woke a little earlier than usual. After a long afternoon and evening of hearing Regina's plan, and then waiting for Emma to contact them as she tailed Regina, and then calming a hysterical Marco…he knew they would have to be up bright and early to continue the search for Marco's son, Pinocchio.

Killian was glad he hadn't brought Emma a coffee when he arrived at the station. She looked as though she hadn't really slept and was wound tighter than the mooring lines of a ship before a storm. The entire royal clan was oddly quiet, and the Charmings were usually morning people.

Emma had a map of the town and woods set out in front of her. "Here's where Regina ditched the phone, and here's where Marco lives." She pointed to the two locations. "We start here, where we lost the trail, and head in this direction."

Killian looked at the map curiously. "Swan…couldn't we try a locator spell?"

Emma just glared at him.

"What? Swan, you've got magic, you're the Savior…what's the harm in trying it?" He asked, confused. What have I said that's angered her?

"We'll be in the car." Snow quickly ushered her husband out.

"Swan, talk to me." Killian pressed.

She sighed. "I…I don't know how."

Realization dawned on Killian. She wanted to use one, but had no idea how to do it. "Then add that to the list of things you want Regina to teach you after this whole mess is over."

"It's never over. And now it's going to take longer to get to them because I my magic is apparently only useful in lighting candles and pushing things away."

"Come here." Killian pulled her into a hug. "As someone who has been saved by your magic lighting a candle, I can say that it's incredibly useful. And powerful. And I think, if you tried it, you could probably do a locator spell."

"Even if I don't know how?"

"Something inside you knows, Emma. I've always believed that." He said softly.

"Thank you." Emma kissed him gently. "But I'm not ready. Maybe…maybe if we run out of leads doing it the old-fashioned way."

"One could argue that magic is the old fashioned way, love." Killian teased.

Rolling her eyes, Emma grabbed his hand and led him to the door. But she was finally smiling. "Let's go."

Emma's good mood deteriorated as their search continued to be fruitless. After about an hour, she was as wound up as she'd been when he first arrived at the station. Killian was about to say something with Snow spoke up.

"It's okay, Emma. As long as he's with Regina, Pinocchio will be all right." Snow said to her daughter.

Well, that's certainly a change. Who would have ever thought Snow White would have faith that someone with Regina would be safe? Killian thought.

"We don't know that. I just wish I hadn't let her ditch me." Emma replied.

It's not your fault, love. Killian tried his hand at comforting her. "Swan, you couldn't have known that she'd drop that tracking device."

"Yeah, but I let her talk me into thinking kidnapping him was a good idea. If anything happens to that kid, it's my fault." She looked almost devastated.

Her friend. Pinocchio is the child version of her friend. And Regina is her friend. Oh, Emma, you're not going to lose them. I'll make sure of it. Killian thought, and noticed David was looking at the tracks with a scowl.

"Uh, the tracks end here. Looks like the rain washed them away." David reported.

Killian turned hopefully to Emma. "Oh, would now be an appropriate time for a locator spell?"

Snow was looking at something in the distance. "We may not need one. Look."

A large plume of smoke was coming toward them and engulfed Snow completely before disappearing inside of her.

What now? Killian thought, hoping this wasn't a new trick of the newest villains to enter the town.

"I have to make this quick. We don't have much time." Snow's mouth was moving, but the voice coming out of it was most certainly Regina's.

"Regina?" David asked, confused.

Snow nodded. "Pinocchio's fine. He's back to his old self, or older self."

"August." Emma breathed.

The next thing to come out of Snow's/Regina's mouth started forming a cold knot of anger and, if he was being honest, fear, in the pit of Killian's stomach. Gold. The Dark One was back. And he was looking for the author. Will I never be rid of that bloody crocodile?

The smoke pulled out of Snow and she seemed to be back to herself. But Killian didn't have time to worry about that. There was now one concern for him, and one concern only. "So the Dark One's returned."

"Yeah." Emma looked at him. "There's only one person who can help us drive him back out."

Belle. Killian nodded. We all should have known we wouldn't be free of that infernal beast forever.


	78. Chapter 78

AN: again...I don't know what the weird formatting thing is, but here's attempt number 2 at posting chapter 78...

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 78

Belle was, understandably, shocked by the news. "H-h-he's here? Th-that's... That's impossible."

Snow looked sympathetic, "Well, did you really think he'd stay away?"

Emma was all business. "The dagger... you need to hand it over so we can stop this fight before it starts."

"The dagger? I-I don't have the dagger." Belle looked confused. "Killian does."

Come again? Killian was floored. He had no idea what Belle was talking about. "Who? Me? Well, I haven't seen that cursed blade since you commanded the Crocodile to leave the first time."

"But y-you took it from me last night to hide it where no one could find it." Belle explained.

"After the lifetimes I spent searching for a way to destroy the Dark One, I'm pretty certain I'd remember holding that dagger in my hand." Killian assured her. Not that the alternative was better. He wished she had given him the dagger. At the moment, it was most assuredly in the hands of the witches. Or worse, the Dark One himself.

Belle was still in shock so she hadn't made the leap the rest of them had. "Okay, well, if I didn't give it to you, then who…"

"Gold." Emma said, turning to Killian. "Disguised as you. He's back, and so is his power."

As if I needed a reason to hate the bloody crocodile more, he uses my face to trick his wife into giving up the thing he truly loves most in this world. Killian seethed, missing Belle's comment. "Banishment was too good for that demon. We should have driven that dagger through his heart when we had the chance."

Emma clearly didn't like that thought or how angry he was getting. "Then your name would be written across it."

"It's a small price to pay to ensure the Crocodile wouldn't come back again." He wasn't ready to let go of the anger. Look at all the people he's hurt. He hurt Belle, probably hurt your wooden friend, and used my face to do some of it. Better someone else be the Dark One, maybe they wouldn't be as vile as Rumplestiltskin.

"I know you're angry, but we defeated him before and we'll do it again." Emma said with conviction.

As the others discussed their next move, Killian had a thought. They needed to know what the Dark One was doing, and if he could give Ursula back her voice, try and help her find her happy ending…she might just tell them what they needed to know.

"You do that. I'll find out the Dark One's secret." Killian said.

"How are you gonna do that?" David asked.

"The sea witch Ursula." Killian explained. "Remember when I said I had a past with her? Now's the time to use it."

"How?" Emma asked.

"By taking a page out of your book, Swan. I'm gonna return her happy ending." He replied.

Emma looked at him, a mixture of pride and concern on her face. "Can you really do that?"

"Aye." Killian confessed. "Because I'm the one who took it from her in the first place."

"Do you need help?" David asked.

Killian shook his head. "No. It's better if I do this alone. I just need to grab something from my room at Granny's."

Digging through his chest at the end of the bed, Killian grabbed the shell he'd managed to take with him after he gave up the Jolly. It had taken up a lot of space in his satchel, but the mermaid magic was bloody useful and he had need of it now. Taking it to the woods near where he knew Ursula to be, he blew through the shell.

Normally, Killian was an extremely patient man. Spending 200 years to try an get revenge will do that to you. But today he wasn't. He knew how important his task was, and he was determined not to let Emma and the others (but mostly Emma) down. "Where is that infernal creature?" He asked before getting wrapped up in the tight clutches of Ursula's tentacles. Found her.

"Right here, Captain." Ursula said menacingly.

Killian knew he had to speak quickly and choose his words wisely before he lost the ability to speak. "Wait. I want to offer you a deal."

"After what you did to me? I don't think so." She squeezed tighter.

"Gold was wrong. You don't have to find the author to get what you want." Killian gasped in relief as she released him.

"And why should I believe a word you say?"

I guess you've missed the memo that I'm not really a villain anymore. "Because I know what it is you desire. And I know exactly where to get it."

Ursula was stunned. "You still have it?"

I wouldn't get rid of anything so valuable. But you're not getting it for free. Killian nodded. "The Dark One... he's here for more than just The Author. If I return your happy ending, you're gonna tell me exactly what he's doing in Storybrooke."

The sea witch barely hesitated before agreeing. "You got yourself a deal."

"Care to transport us to the docks?"

"Not in my bag of tricks. How'd you get here?"

"Walked." Killian shrugged.

"Oh for Poseidon's sake." Ursula pulled a vial from her bag and threw it on the ground, engulfing them both in dark green smoke. When the smoke cleared, Killian was happy to find they were on the docks.

"So, where exactly did you bury my treasure?" Ursula asked.

Now we get to the part I'm looking forward to. It'll be so nice to have the old girl back…Killian looked over at the sea witch. "Oh, I didn't bury what you're after. It's aboard the Jolly Roger."

"So where's the Jolly Roger?"

"Ha. Back in the Enchanted Forest. Now, can you still open portals underwater, or did you give up that power when you became the monster you are?" He asked, finding it difficult to treat Ursula as anything other than a means to an end. If he thought about what he did, it would fill him with crushing guilt. And Ursula had done her fair share of evil deeds, so it wasn't like he was treating an innocent person that way.

"The monster that you made me." Ursula practically spat.

Killian covered his guilt with irritation. He just wanted this whole ordeal to be over. "Can you open the portal or not?"

"Yes, I can." She nodded. "But I'm afraid I'll need something from the Jolly Roger to know exactly where it is."

He pulled a piece of wood out of his jacket. It was small, and he didn't often carry it with him, but Killian had figured on needing something like this. "Piece of the rigging. Did you really think I'd trade my ship without taking a souvenir?"

Killian handed her the wood, but the sea witch didn't move. "What's the matter... you don't like the ocean?" He asked, confused and a little impatient.

"I haven't dipped my toe in the sea since I was banished to this world." Ursula confessed. "Stand back."

With a touch of her tentacle, a whirlpool appeared and then vanished. All the elation Killian was feeling vanished, leaving him hollow. Where was his ship?

"It didn't work." He said.

Ursula chuckled. "Yes it did."

"Bloody hell." Killian remarked, noticing his now very tiny vessel stuck in a bottle and floating in the water.

"Looks like you're not the only thing that's changed." Ursula said with barely restrained glee.

"Well, that means we have to make a stop first. Care to lend a tentacle?" Killian motioned at the floating bottle.

Ursula scooped it up and tossed it to him. Killian looked at his ship for a moment, at a loss for words. Who would do this to his beautiful vessel? And why? Fortunately for them, there was one man in town who knew how to remedy things like this.


	79. Chapter 79

**Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**  
Chapter 79 

"Where are we going?" Ursula asked, curious and still amused.  
"Gold's shop."

"Why?"

"Because Gold's ex-wife's new boyfriend lived in Wonderland for a time and I know he's got a few growing and shrinking potions around for emergencies." Killian explained.

It didn't take long, and as Killian predicted, the thief was cheeky but willing to provide the correct potion. Soon, they were back at the docks with the glass bottle and potion.

"Be careful, love. That's distilled from wonderland's finest mushrooms. Spill one drop, and, well, Storybrooke will have a giant squid in its harbor." Killian warned as Ursula dropped one drop on the ship.

Tossing it quickly into the water, Killian watched as his ship magically re-appeared, fully restored to it's proper size. "Now that's a ship fit for a pirate."

It was a shame that Killian couldn't take time to appreciate the ship as they boarded and headed to his cabin. It was a shame that he was here with the sea witch and not Emma. But it had to be done.

That didn't stop him from enjoying the Jolly the entire way to his cabin. "Mm. I never thought I'd walk this sweet vessel again."

Ursula was unimpressed. "Yes, well, you can ogle your ship after you return my singing voice."

Killian sighed as they reached the cabin and his most secret hiding spot. He doubt Blackbeard ever even knew the safe was there, and he was sure he never got into it. Detaching his hook, Killian stuck the end in to the lock and the safe opened. Returning his hook to it's proper place, Killian pulled out a small shell.

"Now, you know the deal I hand this over, you tell me every detail of the Dark One's plan." Killian reminded her.

Ursula held the shell and her beautiful voice began to ring out. "Oh, you hear that?"

Killian smiled. He remembered her voice and it was lovely and enchanting. And it felt good to help someone - even someone like Ursula - get their happy ending. It wasn't often that villains did.

The voice suddenly stopped and disappeared back into the shell. "It didn't work."

Killian was confused and surprised. It should have worked. "Why the devil not?"

"Because you're wrong, Hook. Villains can't get their happy endings." Ursula sighed. "I never should have believed you when you said we could do this without The Author."

No! Because if she can't get her happy ending, and Regina has lost hers…what hope do I have? Killian thought and panicked because he knew he still needed that information. "I delivered your voice. It's not my fault if your magic can't get it out of the bloody shell. Now tell me what Gold has planned."

"Our deal is over. You get nothing!" Ursula spat.

Angry and terrified of loosing his happy ending, Killian grabbed his gun and pointed it at the sea witch. "Our deal is not done. I have to stop the Dark One. He's taken too much from me already." He will not take Emma, I will not allow it.

"You haven't changed one bit. Still the same selfish pirate, as always. Never go up against a woman with eight hands." Ursula knocked the gun away with one tentacle and grabbed him with her other. "Especially when you only have one."

Then all Killian saw was black.

He came to as someone was hurling him onto his bed, soaking wet and coughing.

"Are you okay?" The familiar voice of Ariel asked, worried.

"Aye." Killian said.

"Good." The little mermaid scowled and slapped him. Hard.

Bloody hell! What is it with women and myself today? Killian thought, surprised.

"That's for tossing Blackbeard overboard before he could tell me where Eric was. I had to rescue that awful man to find him." Ariel said angrily.

Killian was confused, cold, wet, and now his face hurt. It was not turning out to be a very good day. "Then why are you here? I thought you and your prince were living happily ever after."

"I was, until I got trapped in that bottle. After you traded the Jolly Roger to Blackbeard, he used your ship to terrorize a lot of people, including some royals from Arendelle. The queen trapped your ship as punishment." Ariel explained.

Elsa. Good form, love, except I still don't understand how the little mermaid ended up there. "Elsa did that?" Now the Frozen Queen and I will have to have words about shrinking my ship. And the pajamas.

"And I accidentally got swept up in the magic, so thanks for letting me out. Was that the real Ursula? Why was she throwing you overboard?" Ariel progressed rapidly from explanation to questions.

"Because I was so focused on getting what I want, I made a promise to her I couldn't deliver." Killian admitted. "Maybe she was right. Maybe villains can't get their happy endings."

Ariel sighed a long-suffering sigh. "Maybe that's because villains always go about getting them the wrong way."

The realization of what he'd done hit Killian like a ton of bricks. Villains, at their core, were selfish beings. And the difference between a hero and a villain was just that: selfishness instead of selflessness. The first bloody time I'm confronted with an opportunity to right one of my own wrongs and I fall right back on old habits… Killian sighed. "If I had given one thought to how Ursula was feeling, I never would have pulled the gun on her. I was only thinking of my self and what I needed."

"You really have changed." Ariel smiled. "And you're right. That's exactly why you ended up tossed overboard. Now, are you going to be okay? Eric is probably worried sick about me."

"Aye." Killian nodded, but then paused. "On second thought, I need a favor."

"I just saved your life isn't that a favor enough?"

"This is going to help Ursula get her happy ending, and stop being a villain. I thought all you princesses were into that whole hope and rehabilitation thing."

Ariel studied him for a moment. "What are you planning?"

"I need you to get Poseidon and bring him here."

"The god of the sea?"

"Tell him I might have a way to re-unite him with his daughter, if only even temporarily." Killian said.

"Okay." Ariel nodded and made her way to the deck. "I'll be back in a flash."

True to her word, it did not take long for Ariel to come back with Poseidon.

"If I had known it was you sending for me, I never would have come." Poseidon said, glaring at Killian.

"I know I'm not your favorite person, but long ago you and I…we did something terrible to your daughter. Something we need to fix." Killian held out the shell. "She's already tried to get it out of here, but her magic doesn't work on it."

"Because only the one who enchanted the shell can release her voice." Poseidon studied Killian carefully. "You are not the Pirate I knew. The sea flows in your veins still, but no longer mingled with darkness."

"No. I learned that revenge is an empty dream, and right now your daughter is conspiring to do something to the woman who helped me realize that. If I can get her voice back, then maybe she will give up her quest for revenge and mayhem as well." Killian said, and then did something he never thought he would do. He gave Poseidon, god of the sea, a hope speech. "Your daughter is hurting. And she might not want to see you again after we do this, but you will never have a chance of reconciling with her if you don't take this chance, right the wrong we did to her and help her find her happy ending."

"So you no longer thirst for vengeance?" Poseidon asked.

"I had my revenge - or at least, I thought I did - and it left me empty. I'm not going to sit down to dinner with the Dark One any time soon but killing him won't bring me happiness."

"And this woman you are trying to help? She does?"

Killian nodded. "I've learned something in this world. Something important. Love, family, friendship, acceptance - those are the things that make life worth living."

Poseidon looked impressed. "Okay, Hook. How do we get my daughter the happy ending she deserves? The one we took?"

"First you poof us to this cabin, and then I'll go in and make sure she's there. If I don't come back out in a minute, follow me in."

"Deal. Think of this cabin." Poseidon said and with a wave of his hand, Killian felt the fresh breeze of the sea for a moment before landing in the woods next to the Dark One's cabin.


	80. Chapter 80

AN: 80 chapters in and we're coming to the close of Season 4 (and this story). Please enjoy, and thank you to everyone for reading, following, liking, and sticking with my inconsistent updates for so long! My goal is to have the story finished and uploaded by August, before school starts (teacher life...) and before Season 7 and it's whole new world begins. Just in case you didn't know already, I don't own the show/characters, etc. Bold words are directly from the show and italics are thoughts

 **Of Devils, Black Sheep, Villains, and Knaves**

Chapter 80

Killian only hoped he wasn't too late. When he entered, Ursula had Snow in a tentacle, and there was a man that looked vaguely familiar standing near David.

" **-Author is the only one who can give me what I want**." Ursula said.

" **That's not true**." Killian made his presence known. Emma looked over him and signed with relief - clearly she had thought something had happened to him.

" **How are you still breathing?** " Ursula asked, frustrated.

" **I'm good at surviving**." He said, making his way over to Emma as she put her hand on his arm. " **Or you're bad at killing. Either way, you don't need the author to get what you want. I know why you couldn't release your voice from that shell. Only the one who enchanted it can do that**."

Ursula looked as though she were experiencing a dozen emotions at once. " **Wait. You don't mean…** "

 _Your father?_ " **Aye.** " He nodded, hoping the sea god would make his entrance soon.

Poseidon didn't disappoint. Killian found himself listening carefully to the deity's words. Clearly, Poseidon had experienced a similar change of heart, and truly just wanted his daughter's happiness. Emma snuggled in closer to him and Killian wrapped a hand around her waist, silently thanking her for saving him from himself. He could practically feel Emma's proud smile as she stared up at him - which he didn't particularly feel like he deserved. Not really.

They'd been so wrapped up in the story of forgiveness playing out in front of them that it took Snow looking around to realize that Cruella had vanished. Which meant that she was probably on her way to warn the Dark One and they had to leave. Ursula touched his arm gently before walking out with her father and Killian offered her a small smile. He was learning that forgiveness, especially for a former villain, was essential to acceptance.

The Charmings helped a man stand and make his way to the door, Killian figured the man must be Emma's friend, August. Killian couldn't shake the thoughts from his mind that he'd been having all day. First was the guilt over his whole association with Ursula, both back in the Enchanted Forest and today. Then there was the fear that had taken root in his heart. The one that made him worry that his happy ending - Emma - would be taken from him just like Regina's happy endings had been taken from her. The words Regina had told him on the way to Neverland still echoed in his head: "villains don't get happy endings". And now with this whole author-book nonsense, Killian was beginning to think that maybe that statement was true.

" **Hook, what's wrong? You gave Ursula everything she wanted**." Emma could see something was bothering him.

" **But I almost didn't, love**." Killian admitted, trying to be honest with both Emma and himself. " **I was so desperate to figure out what the Crocodile was up to, I almost became the man I used to be. You have no idea how easy it is to fall back into the darkness.** " _And it is easy. The darkness is always the easiest path and it's hard, sometimes, not to take it._

Emma stepped closer, grabbing his hand. " **Whatever mistakes you made with Ursula, you fixed.** "

 _Yes, but she's certainly not my only victim_. " **Aye. But it's a stark reminder of something**." Killian looked at her sadly, trying to memorize her features.

" **What?** "

" **With all this talk of authors and the book, we've never discussed one fact…** " He said softly, " **I was a villain.** "

" **But you're not anymore.** "

" **Neither is Regina, but she still lost her happy ending**." Killian voiced the fears he'd been having all day. It was a terrible thought, but one Emma had to understand. "I **f we're to believe the rules of the book, then it's only a matter of time before I lose mine.** "

Emma looked up, surprised. " **Wait. If you're afraid of losing your happy ending, that means you found it."**

 _Yes, love, but that's not exactly the point of our conversation at the moment._ Emma's eyes stayed on his, a little bit of worry making it's way onto her face. " **What is it?** "

 _My happy ending? Oh, Emma…_ " **Don't you know, Emma? It's you.** " It was the closest Killian had come to telling her that he loved her. But Emma wasn't ready, not yet. This revelation was shocking enough for a Lost Girl like Emma Swan.

At his admission, her eyes grew as large as saucers and tears started to form. Killian knew her history, knew that this was knocking over another one of her walls to learn that she was someone's happy ending. So Emma did what she always did when she didn't have the words to express what she was feeling: she leaned in and kissed him, gently but with an emotion that neither were quite ready to say aloud.

A call from David broke them out of their moment. "Dad?" Emma asked, voice still rough with emotion.

"We're taking August to the fairies." David reported.

"Okay. Killian and I will meet you there." She said and hung up the phone. "Guess we'd better go."

"As much as I'd like to continue what we were doing, the Dark One's cabin isn't the safest place for that." Killian offered her his hand. "Please tell me you have a vehicle. I'm afraid I arrived via sea god magic."

"The bug isn't far. Come on." Emma smiled as she grabbed his hand and they walked out together.

As they made their way to her vessel, Killian remembered his news. "Remember how you're always saying you need your own place?"

"Yeah." She looked at him curiously.

"I'll be moving out of Granny's at the end of the month." He said, the first hints of a smile curving at his mouth.

"Where are you going? Did you buy a house?" Emma asked, clearly concerned that he'd done something like this without telling her.

"No, love. In order to get back her voice, Ursula had to get the _Jolly Roger_ back for me. And apparently, Blackbeard had terrorized so many people that Elsa cast a spell, shrinking the _Jolly Roger_ and imprisoning her in a bottle."

"Good for her." Emma smiled, happy to hear her friend was doing well.

"Aye, so I had to get some growing potion from the thief - Scarlet - but now the _Jolly_ 's restored to full size and anchored at the docks, waiting." Killian explained. "Which is likely where I'll be living for now, but also…it's yours, if you have need of it."

She looked over at him, incredulous. "You're giving me your ship?"

"That'd be rather impractical, love, as you don't fully know how to sail it, but, just like its Captain, it's yours to command." Killian took her hand and kissed it.

Emma didn't have words again, so she squeezed his hand. "Let's go see August."

"Actually, Swan, drop me near the docks? I've some unfinished business to take care of."

"With Ursula?"

"I'm hoping she'll hold up her end of the bargain, but even if she doesn't, I promised a friend I'd tell her what happened."


End file.
